After losing her older brother to the earthquake, it would be a year before Mikasa would meet Yuu.

During that time however, Mikasa had begun to see life in a different way thanks to the experience of Kou’s betrayal, and slowly became more apathetic as time went on.

The realization that even bonds of family can be broken with ease created a horrible doubt in her mind, and made her question what the point of forming attachments was in the first place.

That doubt, which no child should ever have at such a young age, began to affect important parts of her life. Her interest in sports dimmed down considerably, she slowly disconnected from all of her friends, and she even stopped eating as much as she used to. Life became a dull gray for Mikasa, whose existential crisis had permanently drilled a hole in her heart that would only grow wider with each passing day.

With the fear of another betrayal embedded in her psyche, she’d completely lost her ability to put her trust in others. She no longer wanted to be close to anyone, rely on anyone, or believe in anyone anymore.

Naturally, this behavior did not go unnoticed by her parents, who recognized the issue and its cause immediately and did their best to treat her depression. Child therapists and medication had minimal effect, as the words of others simply had no meaning to her anymore. She had no way of discerning what was real and what were lies, and thus refused to acknowledge any of it.

The only one she could trust was herself.

While looking upon their daughter worriedly, her parents wondered what they could do for their child, who used to be so eager to go out and be a part of the world by playing with her friends and practicing sports, but now rarely left her room. Eventually, it became clear to them that the only way to truly help Mikasa was to find a way to clear her doubts about the point of attachments, and to resolve the loneliness and emptiness in her heart.

To that end, they came to the decision to adopt a pet.

At first the kitten went largely ignored by Mikasa, but over time she began to open up to it little by little. Thanks to its presence, her parents were able to get Mikasa to go outside more often, and once again engage in the physical activity she used to love by running around and playing various games with it. She would never show a smile and was still largely apathetic, but the gentle way she treated the cat and took care of it clearly showed that something was beginning to change inside of her. “Life” was beginning to have meaning once again.

And then one day, while playing with a tennis ball at the park with her cat, Mikasa accidentally threw it with enough force for it to land in some bushes. As the kitten raced after it, she turned to tell her parents that she would go with it to make sure nothing happened.

But they were engaged in conversation on the nearby bench they’d chosen to watch their daughter from. Mikasa thought about it for a moment, but did not see the point of going out of her way to notify them when she would be back soon anyway, and instead went to retrieve her cat and the ball.

On the other side of the bushes however, was a small clearing where a group of boys were horsing around on their own, unsupervised by any adults.

It was then that Mikasa noticed her cat as it closed in on the ball that had apparently rolled right into the shoe of one of the boys. When he took notice of the approaching kitten, he wasted no time in calling out to his friends.

Soon all of the boys were surrounding the animal, looking down at it with fascinated expressions. Mikasa watched without moving as the boys poked and prodded at it, too afraid of the bigger kids to interfere.

But after a while, one of them declared that he would claim the kitten for himself, and snatched it up by its collar. Due to the rough treatment at the hands of the boy, the kitten was hurt and cried out in a terrified mewl.

The sound of it caused a painful thumping to resound in Mikasa’s head. As the boys began to fight over who would have the cat, fumbling around, tossing it between each other, and groping for it without care for the animal itself, the helpless form of the kitten looked all too familiar.

It looked just like her, a few months prior, helpless as she was abandoned to die by the one who was supposed to protect her.

Was this what it was like for him back then? The immeasurable fear that comes with understanding that one must put their own life in danger was now running through her entire body. The boys were all bigger than her, outnumbered her greatly, and not a single one of them showed remorse as they brutalized the poor cat in their impromptu game of catch.

And yet, when faced with such debilitating fear, instead of Kou who turned to run, Mikasa stepped forward.

With thoughts of her beloved kitten and the memories they’d shared filling her head, she scooped up a nearby tree branch and rushed towards the group. She didn’t even know what she would do when she got there, but a feeling like she could not simply sit by and do nothing—the strongest feeling she had ever experienced in her life up until that point—had welled up within her, turning her vision red with anger and adrenaline and desperation as she gripped the stick with both hands and with tightly-shut eyes thrusted-

She hit something. The closest boy’s side was pierced by the branch, and both he and Mikasa let out screams as they crumpled to the floor.

The other boys panicked and turned to see the source of the commotion as Mikasa stood up and, with tears flowing uncontrollably down her cheeks from a mixture of fear and the other swirl of emotions, loudly shouted for them to give her kitty back.

Normally the boys would have immediately declined, ignored her or even gone on to harass her as well, but the sight of her standing there—hands stained red with blood and an expression unlike anything they’d ever seen before had an immediate effect on them, and they all turned to run with terrified faces, dropping the cat in the process and leaving their friend behind.

A painful flash throbbed inside Mikasa’s head as she watched them run, watched as their retreating backs merged with the image of Kou’s back that had been permanently ingrained in her memories. All fear left Mikasa in that moment, replaced instead with a blood-red fury that almost made her charge after them.

“Cowards cowards cowards, YOU’RE ALL COWAAAAAARDS!!!” An animalistic cry erupted from within her instead, following the boys as they spilled over each other trying to get away. The shouting had more than attracted the attention of the park-goers nearby, and many adults including Mikasa’s parents came running to see what had happened.

What they found was a boy, injured and groaning from the pain of the tree branch stabbed into his side. And Mikasa, gently cradling her precious kitten with hands stained with blood, tears falling from her face as she did so.

The innocent smile on her face as she whispered words of relief to herself made the sight all the more chilling.

-----

Later on, Mikasa was scolded harshly by her parents and made to apologize to the boy and his family, who thankfully did not press charges and accepted that they all had a part to play in how the incident occurred, agreeing to simply drop the matter after being reimbursed for the hospital charges.

Though Mikasa bowed her head and apologized sincerely along with her family, deep down she knew that she did not feel an ounce of regret for having attacked the boy, even as she saw his injured state at the hospital.

While thoughts of her cat whose life she saved through her actions filled her head, there was simply no room for her to understand that she’d done anything wrong. With her own two hands, she smothered her fears and protected what was important to her—protected the life that was slowly rejuvenating her own from the depths of despair.

Yes… It was thanks to this incident that Mikasa began to understand the truth about relationships.

While most relationships seemed to imply closeness between two or more parties on a superficial level, it was in times of true distress that those as close as family were just as likely to abandon each other as complete strangers. Having seen it firsthand not once, but twice, Mikasa felt like she truly understood this fact of life.

But real attachments were different. Instead of the fake ones people normally surround themselves with, real attachments were those forged through actions, not words.

To be willing to hurt others or even yourself for the sake of that person, and not feel bad about it because that’s just how much you care about them. To be willing to overcome your fears, and to put your body and soul on the line for that person without a second thought. Those were real attachments. If things like that did not go through the head of someone who wanted to form an attachment with someone else, then the relationship was ultimately meaningless.

These were the things Mikasa realized during that year.

As for the fate of the cat, it never ran away or abandoned her all the way until its eventual passing from illness a few months after that incident, further solidifying the mentality of “real attachments” in Mikasa’s mind.

And it was with that mentality that Mikasa began to live her life once more. In addition to returning to her pursuit of sports, she interacted with others normally and put on false smiles to dissuade them from thinking that anything was wrong with her, all while secretly hiding her distrust for them within her wounded heart as she searched for who among them could become a real attachment.

At the end of that year of apathy, she found her one and only answer.

“Mikasa… Mommy’s pregnant. You’re going to be a big sister!”

“Eh…?”