LonMair399

I've been working on putting together and editing the manuscript for the e-book of volume 1 this past week. It's been fun, but a good amount of work if I'm being honest. And there's still more left to do!

On an unrelated note, I've stumbled into a PS3 recently and was wondering if any of you had any suggestions for games to play. Currently, I just have Persona 5 and Valkyria Chronicles. I'm playing through Valk Chronicles first because I know Persona will be a huge time sink I don't have time for yet! See you all next Wednesday.

“Well, he rejected everybody.”

I grunted to show I heard her. I wasn’t in the mood for this conversation, hoping she would skip to the part when she yelled and screamed at me. It never came. Instead, her pause stretched on for what seemed like forever. I could hear the tick of the clock and the laughter and shouts from outside where other students were waiting to be picked up. It was an uncomfortable and pointless stillness that had fallen over the classroom, yet nobody was willing to break it. 

The desk creaked under the extra weight of my backpack. It performed the role of scapegoat, helping shield me from view and her lashing out. Not that she had yet. Katy was building up to it. 

This could work both ways though. With her partially hidden from me too, I had less of a read on her facial expressions. I think those were the most unbearable for me. To see their faces scrunched up, eyebrows dangerously narrowed, and lips curled–something inside me had snapped. I was doing those girls a favor, and they threw it back in my face? My red hot anger only fueled their own, encouraging them to take cheaper shots until rumors were flying around that I had set each of them up for failure. I knew Ethan didn’t want a relationship right now, so I played with their feelings.

Except I had no idea. I hadn’t asked him. It was my mistake, a clear screw-up on my part, but I had only wanted everyone to be happy; them and him. At least to be able to have their feelings heard and a chance of reciprocation. 

A velvet bag hit me in the forehead. I noticed it had a bit of weight to it, having it firmly in my grasp, and I waited for Katy to explain herself. She didn’t, studying something on the wall behind me. There was nothing more than posters there. So, she was ignoring me then. I wasn’t interested in whatever this nonsense was. I made to stand, dropping back down when she finally began talking.

“Sorry, I’m not sure why I called you out here. I guess I didn’t have much to say after all, but I wanted you to have those. A kind of thank you for your help. Something like that.” Her eyes flickered to mine for the briefest of seconds. “Hope you like them. I worked hard on them, you know.”

Having said her piece, she got up to leave. Katy flung her backpack around her shoulders, but that didn’t interest me. Her expression did. It wavered between happiness, sadness, and a subtle resignation. Not a single trace of anger there, meaning I had misjudged her intentions and jumped to conclusions.  

“Good job.”

I knew she heard me because she stopped in the doorway. Then, she was gone. My grip tightened on the bag, running my fingers along the smooth fabric as my phone vibrated. It continued to vibrate until I held down the power button, effectively quieting it. Whoever it was could wait—she could wait until I was ready too–as could whatever was in the velvet bag. 

____________

When I was calm enough, I knocked on the door, bidden to what was a ritual by now; however, I did not sit across from her. There was not a place for me. The chair I had gotten used to had been pushed aside, resting against the far wall from the table. There was also no kettle of tea nor a styrofoam cup for me either. Not that I faulted her for these things. Given the rejection she experienced, it was understandable.

“Hey, Sara,” I mumbled, happy to see her regardless of everything that happened.

What was less understandable was the way she stormed over to me after my greeting. She stopped about an arm's length away, staring at me like she was searching for something. I doubt she found it with how she huffed. “I’m guessing you heard what happened?”

“I did. Sorry it didn’t work out.”

“Are you sorry though?”

I blinked at her in confusion. “Not sure what you’re trying to say…”

“Let me spell it out for you then.” The girl let out a chuckle, an ugly thing. “I don’t think you care. I think this is what you wanted. Pretend to help me out, fill me with confidence that I couldn’t fail, and wait for my rejection. You’d be there to pick up the damn pieces, right?”

None of that was true. I wanted to interject, but she kept getting louder and louder, not giving me a chance to cut in.  

“It’s a good thing I didn’t want him for anything but a quick fuck.”–My breath hitched in my throat at the casual disregard for my best friend’s feelings–“There’ll be other chances, better chances later. But everything you were good for is over, so whatever you thought we had is too. I don’t like you. I’ve never liked you. You disgust me.”

“Sara, where is all this coming from? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends.”

She let out another chuckle, this one straight vicious. “You’re such a creep. I’ve been using you. All I had to do was flirt with you a little, and you spilled whatever I wanted to know. But, I hated every second of it. Whenever you touched me, or I forced myself to touch you, I thought I was going to hurl.”

I took a step back, reeling with everything she was saying. Unlike the other girls, I had faith in her to be understanding. Faith she spat on, for all it meant to her. I was angry, so angry that my vision swam. “I can’t believe I tried to help you. Or any of them. You’re all horrible! Ethan wouldn’t be able to stand any of you!”

She shrugged her shoulders, uncaring. “We’ll see, but at least I don’t have to deal with you anymore.”

“Go to hell!” I shouted, voice cracking halfway through.

 It garnered no reaction from her other than pausing to examine the bag hanging loosely from my hand. “Took advantage of another girl too, huh? I feel bad for her, so I’ll help her out.” She snatched the velvet bag from my hand before I could even process what was happening. She ripped off the ribbon, glancing inside. “Cookies, how cute.” 

The bag fell to the ground, a few cookies spilling forth from the open bag. She raised the heel of her boot and stomped down. She repeated the process until the cookies were nothing more than piles of crumbs. Crushed beyond recognition, she made sure nobody would be able to enjoy them. 

“Better clean that up unless you want the poor janitor to have to.”

The door slammed behind her, and I sank to my knees. My descent was gradual and, for whatever reason, I was careful to avoid kneeling on the mess in front of me. Hot tears pooled in the corner of my eyes, but they refused to fall. There was a chance she came back, and I wouldn’t give her the pleasure of seeing me like that. My hand reached for the velvet bag, pulling it closer to my side. I grabbed a handful of crumbs from the inside and brought them to my mouth. They were delicious. Katy really had done her best with them. 

That didn’t make me feel any better. 

However much later, I staggered over to grab the broom and dustpan. I swept everything up, deposited it into the trash, turned off the lights, and didn’t bother looking back. The lock clicked into place, spurring me onward and away from everything that happened. My backpack felt light, but I felt heavy. Crushing almost. Like I was about to sink into the earth, unable to swim back up to the surface. My pace quickened until I reached Ethan’s car and slid into the passenger seat.  

“Hey, man. What took you so long? I was waiting.”

He didn’t say anything else when I turned my head to the other side, swiping below my eyes. Adjusting the radio station, Ethan settled on something classical before driving off. He didn’t pester me for any details, something I was thankful for. I’d tell him everything later, but, for now, there was one thing I needed to get off my chest.

“I hate her.”