---D-Day+22, Nizhen 25th---

Two days later and we are next to the walls of Raelera. The official at the gate must be smarter than the average bear because his eyebrows shoot up when he sees 'Swordmage' on my guild tag. Red is recognized immediately too.

"Welcome Lady Edelys. It is a pleasure and an honor. Shall I inform your father?"

The gate captain starts sucking up, on the double. House Gilend must be local bigwigs for her to get this reaction. Why she didn't tell me?

Did tell me stories about how bullied she was growing up by her siblings, dad, and stepmom. Just like Cinderella. Except mine's over six feet tall, solid muscle, wears plate armor, and is very good with a sword. Other than those little things? Identical. Sort of.

Never went into details about her family though. Figured she wasn't comfortable so didn't push it. Maybe I should have.

Red waves it off. "Please don't. I want to surprise him."

After a few more pleasantries, nobles talk a lot but don't say much, we finally escape. Red's nervousness is obvious to me so I hug her, more than once. Which gets her blushing and me some super hostile looks. Fuck 'em.

Our first stop is a stable to hire a carriage.

Weird riding in one again. Like sitting in a van after getting used to a sports car. Rolling thru town we pass street after crowded street. So many people. So much traffic. With one hundred thousand people? Raelera is the largest city I've seen in this world yet.

So strange not seeing cars with this many people around me. Catch myself looking around corners and behind buildings. Like my brain doesn't know how to process there being no sedans and compacts. No vans and SUV's. Nor any places to park them. Will I ever get used to this?

"Beautiful." I whisper.

This city may be car-less? But its also gorgeous. Someone took the pretty parts of San Francisco and added a medieval filter. Can even smell the ocean on the other side of town.

Red is puffed up and proud. "You can see why Raelera is called the Jewel of the West."

Have to nod. Definitely picturesque.

As with any skilled taxi driver. I just ask for the Lianlaf Estate and he knows where to go. Not sure what to expect but I'm picturing the mansions from so many isekai anime. Red's been there but didn't seem interested in describing it. Frankie says she's hasn't.

Speaking of mansions, I see a few as we ride thru town. Especially on a prominently visible hill in the southwestern part of town. Edel points out various fancy houses and landmarks, describing how each is famous. Was she a tour guide in a past life?

But? Instead of going to any of them? We exit the north gate on a highway that would make any roman legionnaire proud. Oh, yeah, Red mentioned the school was north of town. So grizzly's place must be too.

Hehe. I'll laugh if its a shack. Wouldn't really mind though. Be nice to have lots of privacy with just me and the girls. Well, me, two wives, and eighty-three undead. Never checked if any of them are named Bernie? Wouldn't a beach house be sweet?

The road curves around hills and we pass pleasant looking white plaster walled villages with fortified mansions at the top of each, surrounded by farm fields. Oh and there is a tower we could see from Raelera that is getting closer and closer.

Red continues earning her pay as misses tour guide. Oh, they have distilled alcohol produced around here. Miss? Will there be a chance to take pictures? Oh, a new tape has been put in. "The Lions Keep." As a local, she probably had parties there. "The balls were amazing." Dancing? Testicles? Or both? "Always dreamed of living there."

She wants a castle? Crap. Uh. Don't think I can afford that as an unholy abomination. Ugh. Have to get a second job. Are they hiring for anti-christ? Come on, dude, be smooth.

"Well Red, maybe we'll have to wait a whil-"

Neither is paying any attention to me while Ushi smiles at Edel.

"Our new home."

"Girls, please listen. Castle's cost a..." Its like a giant chasm has opened underneath my feet. "...What?"

"Is it not marvelous Jon?"

"...What?"

"Finally master will have a home worthy of him."

"..."

A castle?!? Not a shack, bungalo, manor, mansion or even palace? What the fuck! How is living in the disney towers keeping a low profile!?!

Be calm. Be cool. Don't hyperventilate. Maybe its, a small castle. Like one of those modern micro, castles. That tower's not really that big, right? Just an optical illusion. My link with the girls must be melting into a puddle of plastic but they are both in full disney princess mode right now.

Completely oblivious to the world.

Good god, Edel's sparkling. "Lions Keep was first built after Raelera was conquered centuries ago. Raelera itself was originally an elf port. The fort kept an eye on the elf natives and Granya." Its like a halo. "When Raelera fell to Tourin, the Lianlaf family was awarded the fort and expanded it."

"Lions Keep was the heart of Tourin's northern war effort and came under siege three times, but never fell. It was expanded again and became the headquarters of the western army." I'm so screwed. "When Plorin the First called for new schools? The Lord General's great grandfather donated the western army's headquarters."

Come around a hill to reveal the castle in all its fantasy splendor. Next to it, on the same ridge-like hill even, is a suspiciously educational looking set of buildings.

God dammit. Grizzly's vacation home isn't 'near' the school. It's 'next' to the school! Hell, it might as well be the school. Monocle you bastard. Bet you are laughing his ass off. Goodbye dreams of quiet contemplation, peaceful study, and relaxed school days.

Hello nightmares of everyone knowing exactly where to find me. Pester me. Bug me. As the highway rounds the castle's steep hill? Another picturesque village surrounded by fields comes into view. Though this one looks bigger. And richer. Even has proper stone walls.

Edel is still in dreamland.

"The marquis paid for the renovations to the castle's western half and the Stormgarde Academy was chartered. It is the largest school in Tourin with over five hundred students, more than forty teachers, guest instructors, numerous study subjects, and achievements rivaling the Royal Academy in Crownfair." I've been swindled, conned, sold a false bill of goods. "While nobles send their heirs to Crownfair? Many would prefer to attend Stormgarde."

No wonder she had the hots for grizzly. He owns her dream home.

Huh. The village is pretty large and runs along the north side of the hill. Couple hundred homes here so maybe two thousand people? Almost a town. The highway continues north, weaving through the hills.

Its taken hours to get into and thru Raelera. Then another hour winding thru hills to reach, Pearlden? Oh, thank you Mitsu. Its already lunch by the time we finally get off the highway and reach the gate. This time though? I'm ignored.

Red's recognized, again, and invited into the gate office. The customs official and guard captain tell me to wait outside. Yeah, I don't think so. My spidey senses are tingling.

Its a small one story one room building against the inside of the town wall beside the gate. In it is a fireplace, desk, table, chairs, and... A couch? Ugh. Where's the camera?

They offer the chair in front of the desk to Red. Pencil pusher customs official takes a seat behind the desk. Gate captain obvious sits on the edge of the desk. Sigh. Ushi and I? Ignored. So we wander over and stand behind Red's chair.

How many times have these two done this? Should I be impressed or disgusted? The scam begins as both ask general questions. Slowly talking more about their houses, complimenting each other, and probing for news about Red's family.

Complaints about being the younger siblings. Having no titles or territories. Red's still over the moon from seeing her dream home so her defenses are wobbly. She is completely at ease. Chatting happily. Even accepts a drink when pencil pusher pulls out a bottle, of something.

My knight-wife soon empties the cup, compliments the taste, and captain obvious refills it. Ushi is looking at me and Red. She knows something's not right here. I'm looking calm but that's the last word to describe my mental state.

Is Edel really this easy? They've already got her complimenting them. And they are flattering her non-stop. Not even shutting down their invitations to meet again later 'for drinks.' Well, she's been fighting demons for months as a Black Hart knight.

When was the last time she faced genuine pick-up and con artists? She was raised in this area. Speaking with fellow local nobles? With similar backgrounds? Probably feels like coming home. Assumes its safe. I'm the one who doesn't belong.

Two guards come in and start chatting by the fire. Extra muscle? Or paying customers? Edel still hasn't noticed. Did she just agree to meet them later? Don't smell any mana. Nor poison. Hmm... Do smell alcohol though. On her fifth glass and I feel she's, aroused?

Ushi's pinching her arm but is being ignored. Okay. I admit. I'm pissed. Thought Red was smarter than this. Better step in. Try to do it politely. Lets not start shit on my first day here. I lean over and place my hand on her shoulder.

"Lady Barton?"

A hand gets waved in front of my face. Doesn't even look at me?

"Sorry Lord Guion, what were you saying about the last ball?"

Oh fuck no. You know what? Don't need this. I'm not here for you. Don't need a slutty knight. I'll just go. Maybe look later to see if they post the video.

While discussing where they'll 'meet.' The sloppy, slurring, horny, soon to be ex Mrs Barton, suddenly? Pauses. Right in the middle of another compliment for captain obvious. I'm almost to the door. The compliment about captain obvious's figure turns into a stuttering mess.

"Edelys? Darling? Are you okay?"

Yeah, they're on a first name basis.

"Jon! Wait!" She screams.

Turn to see a shivering girl looking very uncomfortable in a comfortable chair.

"Th-Thank you. B-But n-new bride. Sp-Spend t-time with my, my husband!"

Is she short circuiting?

Could hear a pin drop as pencil pusher, captain obvious, and friends, finally seem to realize I'm here. The four look me over and none act impressed. They grin at Ushi though. So she's to be next? Or at the same time perhaps? The two lordlings seem offended that I'm cock blocking.

"And who might you be, good sir?"

"Hu-Husband! Ple-ase! For-forgive!" Is Red having a stroke? No. She's really heated up, but healthy. Her feelings though? All over the place now.

*whapsh*

The four molesters recoil when Red slaps herself, hard.

*whapsh*

She slaps herself with her other hand this time. So hard the chair topples over. Captain obvious tries to help her back up.

"No!" She screams and pulls her arm away.

Sniffling and sobbing, she bunches up her body and starts crawling towards me. Across a rough wood floor. Still super pissed but now very confused too.

"P-Please! F-F-For-give!" Red's reached me now and has a death grip on my boots.

Confusion, humiliation, terrified, and aroused. What the fuck is going on here? I squat down. Lift her chin upward. Revealing a snot covered, tear filled, scratched up face. Then I kiss her. Her sobbing continues as my tongue explores her mouth. Pull out, leaving a string of saliva connecting us.

Oh. You are so fucking dead.

Don't get to use [Super Senses] for taste very often. This planet has sex magic. So of course they have aphrodisiacs too. Wasn't impressed with what that lord's daughter slipped me on the trip to Colrac because, it was mostly just a sleeping potion.

This shit though? Whole other level.

Its subtle. Easily missed. But insidious. Just what I licked out of her mouth is already making its way to the classic hotspots. Mixed in with alcohol? Red couldn't taste it or smell it.

Ushi and Edel have been teaching me about the nobles' rules. A noble woman never gets to friendly with strangers. Never accepts drinks from strangers. Probably because of scenarios like this.

Red got carried away and was taken advantage of. Yeah she's partly to blame, disgraced even, but I can understand how we got to this point now.

"Master?"

I lift Edelys by the shoulders as I stand up and hand her too Ushinua. Then wipe a finger inside Red's mouth and stick it in Frankie's. Her confusion only lasts for a moment before her eyes open wide. Pull my finger out.

"Drytia's Tears." She whispers.

"You can taste it?"

Ushi blushes and averts her eyes.

"N-no master. I... H-have had it be-before." Her shoulders tremble. "Expensive. Strong. C-can ru-ruin a woman's-s h-heart."

I give Frankie a quick kiss.

"Take care of her."

"Y-yes master."

What a shitty world.

"I asked for your identity sir!" Pencil pusher is getting nervous.

He doesn't know why the lady of a house clearly more important than his? Would beat herself to the floor and go crawling, crying, and pleading, to someone he assumed was a servant. Well I'm about to solve that mystery.

Captain obvious is big. Even bigger than Red. Even more excited by her collapse. Probably the type who likes to break girls. But he's confused. Its obvious, of course, to him that I'm not a noble. So why is his next toy already acting broken? He is way, way, too easy to read.

And the two who don't mind sloppy seconds, or even thirds? They know something's wrong but don't know what. So they are stuck, not sure how to react.

Calmly walk passed the knocked over chair and stop in front of the old cheap desk. Captain obvious, now wary of me, has backed up to where he is next to pencil pusher. Slowly I reach into my jacket and pull out the singed letter declaring my adoption by grizzly.

It should have burned up in the vault ambush. But monocle put some very strong protections on it. So it just got toasted instead. The burned edges look kind of cool.

The two look at the letter I place on the desk like its a viper. Neither moves to touch it.

Sighing, I reach back into my jacket again. This time pulling out a large medallion and laying it down on the letter.

They freeze. Don't even dare breathe.

All four know the emblem on it. After all, the same Black Hart rampant is stitched into the banner hanging behind pencil pusher. The symbol of House Lianlaf. Their disgraceful behavior has been exposed, to a marquis's house.

Their lives are forfeit. Hell, their entire houses may be executed along with them. They almost defiled a lady of House Gilend. Already disgraced her. In front of her husband. Who is of House Lianlaf. And gave her drugged drinks.

So, yeah, completely absolutely fucked.

I untie Sanctity from my left side and lay it across the desk. Like Tormentor on my back, its wrapped in oiled cloth for traveling. Protects the sword and sheathe from weather and dirt. Now I've practiced, a lot, so I can quickly draw either even when they are wrapped up.

But, I don't want to right now. I'm making a statement here. Both to my wives and to these, men. So I begin unwrapping the cloth very slowly.

Let's establish the facts of the case first.

"So!" All four of them jump, startled, and look at me.

"Who, here, is married?!"

I continue unwrapping.