Chapter 38: Showtime
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---D-Day+204, Siesic(Youyue) 15th, Saturday(Qiri) Morning---

---Yuxueshi---

*clipclop* *clackclack*

*sniff* *whimper*

There’s pouting in the carriage.

“Master, do I really have to wait an entire year for another present?” My knocked up115 weeks(2nd trimester) chocolate angel, Luliene Chastel, is whining. Gazing at me with the saddest green eyes. Those umber G-cup boobies are appealing her case too. Gotta admit, they're making a pretty sound argument. Never knew big thick titties could debate that well.

And why is this busty curvy fantasy african beauty sad?

Well, you see, yesterday was her birthday. And like Lili(Goridine 10th), Red(6th), Milti(Khabien 27th), Hitomi(27th), Oda(4th) plus others before her. My present was hours of one on one extra special lovey dovey hot and horny “attention.” Including before and after care.

Getting me all to themselves is a precious gift within my harem. And rare since even “private” time for me nowadays is at least a threesome.

I've been trying to do "date nights." But between alchemy, necromancy, golemancy, dual-cultivation, recovery magic, martial arts and patients? There are just not enough eight-hours in the day.

Sigh.

Sucks to be me, right guys?

*crickets*

Okay…

“My liege? When may I receive your boon?” Maty, Matylda Jouveral, a fantasy french babe, is on my other side. Being a very naughty knight. Searching for buried treasure under my robes with her fingers while batting those hazel eyes up at me. Yep, it's knight-chick's birthday today. And we would have already started but there's a schedule conflict. The Beyulongong’s sect entrance exam! In Jade Snow City’s coliseum thingy. Finally, after months of travel, I'm joining Little Li’s zong2sect!

We’re back in a little carriage again. With room for just three or four passengers. Except this time there are eight other wagons crawling along behind us. Carrying my entire harem plus servants. Holding on to the sides of the convoy and riding around it are dozens of imperial guardsmen. Guandao3glaives at the ready.

“Clear the way!” “Move!” “Make way for the Taiyi!”

*whack* *bash*

Who are taking zero chances after Thursday's ambush. Beating anyone who doesn’t get out of the way. Takes too long to get out of the way. Or even looks our way. On Yuxueshi’s crowded streets. Granted they don’t have to do it very much. The livery and regalia of the imperial bureaucracy decorating the wagons and horses does a lot of convincing by itself.

“Would be faster with my skellies.” I grumble.

Yes, I’m not in a great mood either. Both Lurch and grand elder dude refused to let me bring the golems and undead along. Of course my living shadows and ghosts are with me anyway, just hiding in and moving between the shadows. But the skellies and golems had to be left at home. 

You could almost see how sad Drabek, the death lord, was to lose another opportunity to end “breathers,” on his fleshless skull. Agrag, the golemancy assistance golem, on the other hand couldn't care less. Just went back to tinkering with new automatons. Maniacal robotic like laughter being heard from time to time.

The old guys also said to relax so I'm in xianxia casual today. Green silk attire that's loose enough for Matylda and Luliene's hands to reach in and play, "catch the snake."

After an hour of governmental abuse outside, and interpersonal fondling inside, through congested dusty smelly neighborhoods. Our caravan finally reaches the arena. A weirdly roman coliseum looking structure. Just adorned with wuxia motifs instead. Honestly, I'm not surprised. Like with hygiene and sanitation. There are various "non-medieval" bits and bobs mixed into this fantasy world. Introduced by previous kidnappees.

Blue robed disciples guide us to a parking area already busy with wagons and mounts. Plain tunic wearing servants caring for them while also helping passengers debark. An endless line of rickshaws unloading at the stadium entrances.

Both rich and poor stream into the huge building. [Shadowsight] reveals them being quickly segregated by social strata.

"Greetings, honored Tudi4apprentice Badun Yuehan of esteemed Grandmaster Alchemist Qinxin Methil Alre Heiris." Well that's a lot of words. "Please allow this humble daoist to escort you." The fist in palm bowing outer disciple, blue robes with green accents, of the North Jade Dragon Palace is followed by several other disciples and servants in the packed outer halls.

Thankfully, the guardsmen form a cordon around me, my nineteen women, and servants. Giving us some much needed elbow room. Lula and Maty are still beside me. Having the privilege of carrying Sanctity and Tormentor today.

"Alright, lead the way." 

The small army that is my entourage now, proceeds through the flowing masses. Shadows show hundreds already on the field. Thousands in the gallery. Several elders, blue robes with black accents, are standing on a platform at one end. More elders and disciples in the stands behind it. Still more patrol along the stairs and railings. Looking ready for any trouble.

The rest of the seating is divided. Clans seem to each have their own section of lower seats. While the upper and nosebleeds look to be first come first serve for commoners. The sections next to the sect slice of the gallery pie appear reserved for special guests as bureaucrats and daoists from other sects fill them.

And we're heading towards them instead of the field?

"Hey, buddy, why are we going upstairs?"

My question interrupts the cultivating brown noser's blabbering about how wonderful it is that I exist and am here. Causing him to stumble before turning back to me.

"Gege5elder brother? My apologies but what do you mean?"

"Shouldn't we be going to the ground floor?" Seems kind of obvious to me. "You know, with the rest of the guys who want to join the sect?"

Couple of the disciples snicker. While the rest look confused. Then I see the light bulb come on over our guide's head. He starts waving his hands.

"Oh no, senior. The field is where those seeking discipleship go." Acts like I just told a joke. "You are Badun Yuehan. Consort to two princesses." Bows towards Li and Ji. "Physician of the Imperial Court." Motions to the emblems my guard have. "Apprentice of a Grandmaster Alchemist. Master of many," Why is he suddenly blushing? "exotic beauties." Several of the sect dudes fidget shyly. "Ahem, you are here to be welcomed and awarded the garb of an inner disciple, elder brother. Not examined."

One of the other blues snorts. "Impossible, brother Liu, the elders will proclaim him a core disciple." Raises a fist. "Anything less would lose face!"

A female outer disciple butts in. "You are both wrong. They will naturally make the sect's first pure dual-cultivator an elder." Glances my way bashfully and stutters. "So he c-can claim d-di-disciples of h-his own…"

Don't need to be a mind reader to tell what she's wishing for. But "pure" dual-cultivator? Look over my shoulder at Little Li and Big Ji. Neither of whom are willing to meet my eyes all of a sudden.

Ugh.

What did they do this time?

My existence is somehow forgotten as the sect guys and gals, in the middle of a flight of stairs, begin a spirited debate over just what rank I should be given. Props to the one who said "sect leader." But the achievements they're using to support these claims? Seem a bit… exaggerated. 

I seduced a succubus pirate queen? Defeated a demon giant? With a pencil? Rescued, then seduced, an elf queen? Slew a corrupt official? Healed, then seduced, a cursed widow? Outfought an invincible assassin? Abducted, then seduced, the wives of six patriarchs in one night? Protected, then re-seduced, my own harem from evil dual-cultivators? Protected, then re-seduced again, my own harem from demonic cultivators?

Think I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Wow, must be one hell of a grape vine they've got around here. Or these guys have way too much imagination. Personally? I’m loving this. Can’t wait to hear how I seduced a goddess. Should I be taking notes?

“Is this how the Beyulongong behave?!”

*freeze*

Oh, they are so busted. And they know it. A dozen some outer disciples of the North Jade Dragon Palace spin to face the top of the stairs and kowtow almost in sync. While at the top of the stairs an inner elder, blue black and red outfit, who looks familiar, has the frowniest frown that ever done frowned.

“““Disciple apologizes to Lao Duan!”””

“Hmph!” Old guy wags a finger at them. “The entire stadium is waiting for our newest member to arrive! And you are down here debating what your elders should do?!” Cross arms. “Have you no face? Stop behaving like gossipy concubines and escort your senior to his seat!” Heads back upstairs as he hollers behind him. “Now!”

“““Yes elder!”””

I think that was one of the elders on the boat. Duan Xi-something or other. But why would they be waiting for-oh. Notice the were busy halls, ramps and stairs are pretty much empty now. Only a few stragglers rushing by. Geesh, for how long were these otaku arguing?

Brown noser bows and salutes again. "Please forgive my incompetence, senior. But we must hurry."

"Sure, let's go."

*thoom* *dakdak* *thuthoom* *dak*

We're quickly led up the stairs and onto the lowest seating level. Still a good twenty feet above the arena floor. Up top, along the stadium's rim, big ass drums are being played. Mortified disciples seat us to the sect section's left as tens of thousands watch. Several rows of seats have been reserved for us at the bottom of the tier. The medieval version of courtside seats.

*silence*

The drums and chatter come to a halt as me and my ladies, dressed in their fantasy china best, come into view. Can feel the eyes of multitudes on us. On me. Like throwing a steak before a pack of starving wolves.

Hmm… might as well give them a taste of what they're buying.

Step up to the wood railing, pan across the masses and muster my ocean of magic fuel.

"[House of Grannus]"

Multiple elemental languages flow off my tongue. As a magic circle pulses beneath my feet and visible waves of purple mana ripple across the stands and field.

Fright and shock have but a moment before the [Recovery Magic] spell washes over them. Several manage to pull protective talismans or muster their own qi to defend themselves. But are confused when they have no resistance to my cheat ability.

The next moment, panic and anger transform into comfortable sighs and content smiles. Feelings of comradery, hope and reassurance seep into tens of thousands of souls. These feelings are not forced. No one is brainwashed. Their spirits are simply offered a soothing astral hug.

*ting*

On the field below, an elder stares at the crystal ball beside him. Confused how it's suddenly lit like a star in the night sky has fallen to earth.

Some refuse my gift. Each rejection standing out like a beacon to [Super Senses]. But most accept my present of a little extra peace in their world. Pan across the masses again before turning and walking back to the bench.

As my haremites beam with pride. Murmurs and whispers spread across the peanut gallery.

“Lingyuren6Otherworlder.” "Taiyi7Imperial Physician." "Zhiyuzhe8Healer." "Dayi9Great Doctor." “Silingfashi10Necromancer.” "Dongren11Easterner." “Shenshou12Godbeast.”

Many say one of those labels with reverence or admiration. Some with disdain or disgust. Others with fear or hate. But all recognize my power through those titles. 

“Hahahaha!” Fire guy is in swole mode again as he stands and steps forward from an elevated throne in the sect section. “Once again the Beyulongong is the envy of all Luyan!” A roar and applause from the stands accompanies the fireball he shoots high into the sky. “Our huangdi brought lingyuren Badun Yuehan to serve in the imperial court! And learn the immortal way from the elders of Yuxue mountain!”

More clapping and hollering that he let's settle before continuing. 

"Today we open the gates to xiandao for new brother and sister daoists to journey with us!" Hands on hips. "But do not tread lightly! This path is fraught with danger! Monsters, bandits, demons, tournaments, duels, dungeons, battlefields," fire and brimstone coming down from the sky, rivers and seas boiling, dogs and cats living together, "and more may bring your doom!" Is this supposed to be a pep talk? "You will lose friends, lovers, even kin to the perils! Limbs will be severed-"

Okay, tuning Xianxia Patton out now. Let's take another look at my fellow newbs.

Hundreds are aligned in rough rows. Some wear plain blue robes like the disciple trainees on the Jinshibo. Others an assortment of clothing and armor. Everyone is armed with a weapon or two. Most are young or very young. But there's a sprinkling of old dudes too.

"Oh, they made it." I see the recruits we sailed with among them. An island of foreigners and demihumans in a yanese sea. There would be more but our treasure ship's voyage had been cut short to pick us up. The other fleets are still months out.

Abruptly recalling that I'm not the only person in the world. Lean back and turn to my women while grand elder dude keeps bellowing. "Don't you guys want to join too? Sayuri? Hitomi?"

The fox demonkin, huyao, who's pretending to be a beastkin, snorts. "Zhangfu13husband, I sought strength. Found a strong mate. Now I am strong. No longer need a sect."

Kitsu is hiding it well but feeling uncomfortable with so many eyes on her.

"Jon-kun, a wife's duty is to support her husband." Eh? "Not compete with him."

*squint*

No movie quote? No pop culture reference? No poking me with a stick? Who are you and what have you done with the real Hitomi?

Turning back to the field I notice someone’s put on their angry eyes. “Of course that idiot is here.” I comment. The village idiot, Ding Dong, is staring at me from the rows of hopefuls. Holding his bronze polearm and posing for anyone who cares to look.

Using another cheat I browse over them. Of course Dong has the most qi. He's the hero. Everyone else is pretty typical bottom ranked daoshi, qi wise. Couple of unusuals but nothing… wait. Who is that?

In the back row is a yanese in simple peasant clothes, like moron, but much less physically impressive. He's got a nice sword on his hip but that's not what's getting my attention.

[Eye of Yanguang]

Chantless cast the spell that lets me see deeper than meridians and dantians. Exposing his astral guts. Including the "spirit root." Can tell it's an earth/metal double. A complimentary instead of conflicting interaction. Partially explaining his talent.

"There you are."

But not completely. There's a tether around his qi-ingesting astral organ. And it leads to a… ring? On the right ring finger rests an old copper band. Very simple looking. But the amount of mana packed into it?

Daaaamn!

The pattern of this qi is far more complex than my rings. Or even the superswords. In fact, it reminds me of… goddammit. Start massaging the bridge of my nose. Which Maty notices.

"Sire? Are you alright?" Squeezes a thigh as several ladies look this way, concerned.

"No, it's okay." I reassure them. "Just more fantasy china bullshit."

Would bet money a gramps or granny ghost is in that ring. Teaching the protag super secret kungfu. Kid looks super pissed too. His glares keep swapping from the other side of the sect section to… here? Wait, he's staring at me?

Sigh, great, just fucking peachy. 

"Begin the examinations!" Red guy yells. 

Guess the motivational speech is over. From the bits I heard it was a long loud list of the many horrible things that could happen. Who knew stubbing your toe could be fatal? Making most of the applicants pale and sweaty again. Completely ruining the spell I spent so much qi casting earlier to deal with all them negative waves.

See an elder on the field motion to the first guy. Calling him forward to the platform. Where another elder holds his wrist like he's measuring their pulse while asking a couple questions. Repeating the answers to another elder who writes something on a big scroll.

Big Ji gives me the play by play. "The elder is reading their bone age and spirit root, dashi. While checking their meridians and dantians. Also asking for their name as well as connections to sects or clans." Nods to the other. "Where it's recorded on the rolls for later."

Number one moves to the middle while number two is called up.

"Dashi, now a special spirit stone is used to measure their qi. Both amount and density. As well as how easily and quickly they can direct that qi." Ji points. "While it is recorded again."

One moves to the last section, where mats, dummies, and poles are placed like a little dojo. Two moves to the middle and number three is called up.

"Lastly, the potential disciple is questioned about what arts they know and instructed to show their most skilled technique."

Notice the emphasis.

"Most skilled, Ji?"

"Yes, dashi. Many misunderstand and use their strongest technique. But the Beyulongong is not just interested in strength. Disciples are here to learn. There will always be stronger skills." Smiles. "This tests how well the potential disciple listens, as well as learns."

Another elder scribbles away there too.

Cheers and encouragement come from different areas as new hopefuls come forward. Probably family and friends. The last part of course gets the most oohs and aahs though. As a large variety of martial arts moves are shown off. Sometimes it's oh no's or sympathy instead. When the spirit stone doesn't get as light and as bright as hoped for. Or a technique is fumbled. Even backfiring a couple of times.

Fortunately the elders are quick with a pill when injuries happen. So no one's been seriously hurt yet.

While some watch the whole time. Many relax and chat, even snack, before and after their favorites get tested. See coins changing hands as bets are won and lost. Some actually walk around a bit. Visiting.

"Lady Baschion14Name: Isueda Baschion | Gender: Female | Race: Human | Culture: Tourinese | Height: 5’9” | Age: 44 | Eyes: Hazel | Hair: Chestnut(Long Straight) | Skin: Fair | Face: Oval | Breasts: DD-cup(Round) | Body: Hourglass(Firm) | Butt: Round(Juicy) | Profession: Merchant(Mithral) | Magic School: Body(bsc) | Weapon: Longsword(mst), Crossbow(adv) | Daoist: Lianti(Body Refining) Chuqi(Early-stage) | Status: Leader(Regalia Trade Company) | Formerly: Fighter(Adventurer) | Nicknames: Sword Maiden, Merchant Lady?" Ninja-wife asks, as another familiar face from the voyage appears.

"Hitomi, how are you?" Several meet and gab with the famous tourinese merchant and retired adventurer. "Miltinnia, your legs look wonderful." The female bonding escalates quickly.

An inner disciple approaches with fist in palm, bowing respectfully. "Junfei Badun, this one humbly requests to speak with Elder Sister Tiang Ji."

Turn to Big Ji and raise an eyebrow.

"I am willing, dashi."

Give her some tongue in front of the Xinulong member. Can tell because those are the characters on her sash. That's the crew kungfu queen runs so something shady may be going down.

"Stay close." I say and point at a couple guards. Who reposition themselves to cover the railing as the two step aside and speak quietly.

"""Oh!"""

The noise from the stands gets loud as Dong shows off his moves. People were already impressed by how light and bright the spirit stone became. Him showing off fancy spear techniques earns an even bigger applause. Which the protag humbly accepts by… flexing, rippling his pecs and posing.

Ugh.

As moron mountain struts off, another unexpected guest shows up.

"Greetings, Yuehan, I am happy to sense your cultivation has advanced again."

"Zhi15Name: Zhi Qiao | Gender: Female | Race: Human | Culture: Yanese | Height: 5’4” | Age: 300+/- | Eyes: Blue | Hair: Black(Long Straight) | Skin: White | Face: Heart | Breasts: D-cup(Relaxed) | Body: Triangle(Tight) | Butt: Heart(Square) | Profession: Expert Daoist(Gold) | Spirit Root: Ice/Water(double) | Weapon: Changdao(mst) | Daoist: Huaqi(Qi Realization) Chuqi(Early-stage) | Status: Inner Elder(Lanxuejiao), Xiao Su(disciple) | Nicknames: Snowbunny, Snow Milf?"

Yep, Ding Dong’s “Auntie” is here. Wearing those snow white robes and that big ass sword strapped across her back. Failing to breakthrough and nearing death. All it took was one injection of my special sauce to let her cultivate again. And she’s been wanting more of it ever since. If her twinkling ice blue eyes are any indication.

“Junfei… You address me so informally.” Smoothly slides into a seat behind me that’s opened up with Hitomi, Lizzy and Milti up and talking to merchant lady. “Sister Matylda, it is good to see you well.” Sister? “Sister Luliene, is the baby kicking yet?”

The conversation between us four is awkward but Snowbunny is definitely making an effort. We laugh over how much trouble Ding Dong got into after making the dead monster pig fart. Though I wonder, why is she doing this? We already talked about the baggage she has. So… wait. Once Dong… joins the sect. Zhi’er… won’t be carrying around that suitcase of shit anymore! Does this mean snow milf is aiming to switch harems?

Hmm…

Ha! See? I can think with the head between my shoulders too.

*nod and a thumbs up gif*

“The examination is complete!” Grand elder dude starts bellowing again. Causing everyone to hush. “Those who have been accepted have been informed!” See the field is a bit emptier than before. How long were we chatting? Some applicants are now in the stands, being comforted by those same family and friends.

Cool, looks like all the ship guys made it.

“Now, continuing our traditions is the right of selection and challenge!" Elders are comparing scrolls and debating behind him. "Where lao can offer personal discipleships! The Beyulongong value boldness as much as skill!” Spreads arms. “So new disciples can also challenge a senior and-”

“I challenge Badun Yuehan!”

Eh? That guy with the ring? What did I ever do to him?

Notice the new protag is scowling at me like I'm the poster boy for everything wrong in the world. Jesus, am I supposed to be this guy's stepping stone too?

Well, fuck that.

Don't care how much plot armor you have, kid.

Time to die.

15