[Huh?]

When I came to, the sight that welcomed me was an endless sea of darkness, as far as the eye could see. I looked around and saw nothing, just an empty void with me floating at the center.bI could feel the cold, I could feel myself drifting into nothingness, infinitely, without any direction.

[Where am I? How did I end up here? What's going on?]

The questions came one after another as I desperately tried to calm myself down. 

[I need to keep my cool.] I thought to myself.

The last thing I remember was the feeling of a thousand knives stabbing me.

[My name is.. Ryouma Satorou. I was.. A college student.. A history major? We were on a boat trip in Antarctica.. I was at the deck of the ship, playing that old game of mine.. what was it's name? I can't remember. Then I.. slipped?..] 

Fragments of my memory were forming inside of my head, slowly completing a picture.

Then I remembered.

[No.] I said to myself.  [Someone pushed me and I fell into the freezing cold water.]

I could remember the pain I experienced, the worthless struggle to grasp at anything, I remember the cold, and then the darkness.

We were on our way to study a newly found ruin in the Arctic, they said that it might hold the origin of men, not that I believed them though. But I could still say that I was excited.

[So I died huh? Damn, that's a bust..] I chuckled to myself as I scratched my head. 

Well, it's not like anyone will care anyway. My parents had long since cut ties with me, I have no girlfriend, no friends, nothing. I guess it doesn't make any difference that I died anyway. It's just a shame that I wasn't able to see the ruins.

As I drifted deeper into the darkness, I wondered whether this was the place where all souls go to when they die.

[If so, is there a chance that I would encounter my old mentor?]

I found some semblance in that thought, though I doubted it. Maybe this is the place where worthless people like me end up when we die.

I still couldn't see anything, there was nothing but darkness. I refused to believe that someone like my mentor, who was full of kindness and compassion would end up in a place like this.

And so I continued to drift, without direction, without aim. Just the emptiness that is this void.

+++

How long has it been since I ended up here? One week? Two weeks?? I couldn't even tell anymore. I spent my days just drifting about in the nothingness, like a driftwood lost in a vast sea of ocean. I did everything I could just to entertain myself, I sang, I counted, I even tried talking to God, but no one answered, why would they? I'm just a worthless trash who wasted my life away.

Even more days passed like this in this dark empty world. I could clearly feel my sanity slowly breaking. I felt that if this continued, I'd lose all semblance of my former self.

That was until one particular day, or night I don't know. I felt something strange, suddenly, a faint glint caught my eye. I thought for a moment that I was hallucinating, but I saw it again, a faint flickering light.

Though it was far away I could clearly see it. Seeing this I did everything I could to try and move towards the light.

As I got closer, I felt something new, something I hadn't felt in a long time, warmth. 

Just then, the light suddenly became bigger, like an explosion of sorts. 

It was so dazzling I could barely keep my eyes open, but I could see that there was something there, something leaving. 

As that something left, I could feel my self getting pulled in by the light. Slowly but surely, it was drawing me in.

I got closer and closer, until finally, I saw just what it was that was leaving the light. A young boy, barely at the age of five from what I could guess, his body was so thin he could even be mistaken as a skeleton. He had his eyes closed, but I could see sadness and suffering in his face. 

[Hey, boy! Where are you going?] I tried calling out to him.

[There's nothing there! Come back here! You're better off in the light!]

I yelled at him to try and get his attention, but there was no response. Just like that, we passed by each other. 

[Hey boy! Come on! Wake up! There's nothing there! Come with me!]

I tried to get his attention again, but there was still no response, at this time I was still getting pulled in by the light, the warmth I felt was so comfortable I wanted to bask in it forever, but I couldn't just let the poor boy wonder into that nothingness all alone, I don't want him to feel the same loneliness I felt while I was drifting into the void.

And so I decided. I desperately fought and squirmed and inched my way towards the young boy. The pull of the light was not that strong, so I was able to fight it. I chased after the young boy and grabbed his arm. It was so slender it felt like it would break anytime. I pulled him closer to me and hugged his body.

[You're not going there, it's lonely there, and cold. You're coming with me]

Maybe seeing the boy all alone reminded me of my own pitiful self. Back when I was alive I had no one, I spent my days alone.. and lonely. I wouldn't wish that to anyone, much less someone like this boy who looks like he's suffered so much.

I held the young boy as I was pulled in by the light. Once more, I felt the warmth so comfortable, it was as though I was melting, but that was just the thing, we were actually melting. The boy and I were melting, figuratively and literally. It was though as if we were merging, not just our body, but also our minds. I remembered everything the boy had suffered through, I could feel all of his emotions, his sadness, loneliness, pain, suffering, everything. His memories were flawlessly merging with mine, as though creating a new self. 

It was scary, it felt as if I was going to disappear. But I didn't, I didn't lose anything, in fact, I could say that I gained something.

As we got closer to the light, the warmth gradually decreased. It continued to do so until I felt a coldness that was even colder than the void. But it was too late now, I braced myself for whatever is to come and went into the light.

+++

As I blinked my eyes, I could see the night sky littered with dozens of beautiful stars, small droplets of snow fell to my face, instantly making me feel cold.

I was mesmerized, how long has it been since I've seen stars these beautiful, and snow too. 

Although my amazement was short lived, an intense feeling assaulted my entire body. I was cold, wet, and very much in pain, then the foul stench entered my nose, it smelled of blood and garbage, when I tried to move severe pain assaulted me from all directions.

[What the hell is this?! Why is my body so painful? And weak??]

I thought to myself as I tried to get up, but then, I remembered, I was beaten to a pulp by those degenerates. They beat me up then left me to die like I was some form of animal

"Those fuckers"

I cursed as I spat a mouth full of blood.

[It's no good, I'm gonna die if I stay like this, all that time wondering in the void would have been for nothing]

With this thought in mind I mustered up all my remaining strength and stood up. I could see the many cuts and bruises I had in my body, I was bleeding very badly.

[At this rate I'm gonna be back in the void in no time, wait, what if there is no second time, what if after I die here I just cease to exist?]

"Shit"

I unconsciously cursed as I thought about me dying again and ceasing to exist. 

[I've already died twice, fuck if I'm gonna let myself die here again]

Anger and frustration welled up inside me.

"I'm gonna live, whether you like it or not! I'm not gonna die anymore!" I cursed into the night sky.

I took my first steps forward. The alley that had once spelled my death was now the place of my rebirth.