El had never been to this mall before. Honestly, he was just kind of surprised that malls even still existed. Hadn’t people gotten sick of them in the nineties? But here he was for some reason.

“Okay,” Stephanie said, addressing the group, “We’re mostly here to buy clothes for El. April, if you want to go and just meet up with us later—”

“No, I’m fine, Mom,” April insisted, before flashing El a reassuring smile.

El smiled back, but squirmed. The clothes he’d brought with him didn’t really fit him anymore, and people at school were starting to notice that he cycled through the same four outfits. But he wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted new clothes.

El followed Stephanie and Isaac into a chain store. April trailed, mostly just on her phone. The adults started talking about something private, so El wandered into the boys’ section. He checked out several pair of jeans, but they all looked the same. And all much baggier than what the girls at school were wearing.

His face started to burn. The stupid magic was meddling with his brain again. Why would he knowingly compare himself to what girls at school looked like? It wasn’t like he was jealous of what they got to wear.

But then he glanced down at his own clothes, the sweatpants and hoodie that he’d borrowed from April, and her old, disused yellow sneakers. El pushed his hair out of his eyes and muttered bitterly to himself. There was a boy nearby, giving him a wary glance. El blushed and walked away.

“This is stupid,” he mumbled, “Should have just ordered clothes online or something.”

“Hi!” someone chimed, causing El to jump, “Do you need help finding something?”

“No, I’m good,” El assured the saleslady.

“Well, the girl’s section is over this way, if you’re looking. Unless you’re waiting for someone?”

El forced himself to smile and reply, “No, thank you.”

Was he really so far gone? People he didn’t know were already treating him as a girl. He rubbed his chin, feeling desperately at the bare minimum of stubble he had left. And despite his protests, he did find himself wandering toward the girls’ section. At the very least, he didn’t get any more awkward stares.

Stephanie and Isaac found him there, looking forlornly at a pair of skinny jeans.

“Did you find something you want?” Stephanie asked.

“No,” El insisted, putting the jeans down, “There’s not really anything here for me. Let’s just grab whatever and go.”

But Stephanie and Isaac exchanged a glance. Isaac nodded, then gently pulled El to the side. El couldn’t stop himself from letting out a soft whine.

Isaac rubbed his hands together and knelt down to look El in the eye.

“El, son, Stephanie and I have been talking. We realize that you’re under the effects of magic right now and probably aren’t sure exactly what you want. That’s okay. The way you look doesn’t necessarily change who you are inside, so if you want to keep things the same way they always were then we’re on board. But if you wanted to try out something new, you can, just like you could if there was no magic happening at all. We—me, Steph, and April—want you to feel free to make your own decisions, whatever they may be. And if you change your mind, that’s okay too, because experimenting doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll commit to whatever new thing you’re trying. Do you understand?”

El nodded, but bit his lip. Isaac seemed satisfied, because he nodded and stood up.

He suggested, “Find some things and try them out in the dressing room. You don’t have to show us what you decide just yet; we’ll pay for it even if your not comfortable talking about your decision.” Lowering his voice, he added, “You don’t have to justify picking boy clothes or girl clothes, or any combination of the two. We won’t pry.”

Then he patted El on the back and took Stephanie away, leaving El alone surrounded by girl clothes.

He picked up the pants he’d been looking at. Gripping them tightly enough to make his hands turn white, El asked himself if he really wanted them. If he showed up at school in these, what would people say?

But he only had to try them on, right? Then he’d see how stupid he looked and feel embarrassed about the whole thing. It wouldn’t be hard for El to convince himself that this was a bad idea when he could see it with his own two eyes.

Or was the fact that he wanted to try at all just a sign that his own personality was being overwritten by magic?

“But he was right,” El muttered, frowning, “I still want to try it out, either way. And it’s not like I’ll have this opportunity ever again.”

After a second thought, he also grabbed a V-neck top that he thought might fit him, then headed to the dressing room. It was a little difficult squeezing into the outfit, and he avoided looking in the mirror before it was done. When he was ready, El turned to face the mirror and waited for shame to wash over him.

The sight was like a punch to the face.

He didn’t look like a girl. He looked like a real feminine boy who could probably lose a few pounds in order to shed the little breasts he seemed to have. But the clothes fit. And they fit good.

“Fuck me,” he said, then blushed when his reflection repeated him. “I didn’t mean that.”

El couldn’t get out of those clothes fast enough. As soon as he was back in April’s borrowed clothes, he burst from the dressing room and started rifling through the racks. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he had to try on more.

A ruffle tank top and khaki capris.

A long-sleeved blouse paired with skimpy shorts that still looked too big for his thin legs.

A crop top with boot-cut white denim jeans.

He had lost track of time when he felt someone’s firm hand on his shoulder.

“Remember,” Stephanie said, “We only need clothes for four or five days, really. And there are plenty of other stores to check out today before we’re done. No rush, but it’s your time being spent.”

“Right… I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry, hon. Just remember that we only have the day to shop. Also, pick out a few camisoles so nobody can see your chest through your clothes. Trust me.”

El chose the ruffle tank top and plain blue jeans. He was nervous as Stephanie paid for them, but the cashier didn’t seem to notice anything out of place. The first hurdle now over, El followed his surrogate family into the next store with his head a little higher.

By the time the group finally sat down for lunch, El was surrounded by shopping bags. He couldn’t wait to get home and try them all on again. Stephanie and Isaac sat off to the side and quietly talked between themselves, and April was still mostly preoccupied by her phone.

Finally, though, she took notice of El and asked, “Did you get everything you wanted?”

“Yeah, basically,” El admitted, before sipping his milkshake.

“Is there something you didn’t get to see?”

“It’s just…” El sat back in his seat and sighed, then continued quietly, “Boy and girl clothes don’t look that much alike, so it’s not like people won’t be able to tell. But it’s still just pants and and shirts and plain shoes.”

“What? You want to get a dress or something?” April flashed him a warm, toothy smile. “Just try it on first, okay?”

But El replied softly, “I don’t think I’m brave enough to wear it. What’s the point of making your mom and dad pay for something I won’t wear?”

“Girls always buy clothes that they don’t wear. If nothing else, I’ll borrow it.”

El nodded, then muttered, “I’ll think about it.”

In the next store, he sneaked a pretty dress into the dressing room with him. It didn’t look terrible, but it might have looked better if he wasn’t so tense and flush from embarrassment. Stephanie paid for it anyway, and the wedges he picked out, without comment.

“I can’t believe you actually got these,” April said later, examining the heels later on the couch.

“It was your idea!” El squealed, squirming.

“Relax, El, I’m just teasing.”

He snorted and returned to his ice cream.

“I’m definitely going to borrow these,” April insisted, then checked the size, “Or maybe not.”

El muttered, “It’s not even going to fit me by the time I get up the courage to wear it.”

“You’ll be fine.”

April sat the shoes to the side and picked up her own bowl, then shifted her body into a more relaxed position.

“I love having you here,” she admitted, “It gets kind of lonely being an only child.”

“It got kind of lonely having Carla as an older sister, too,” El admitted, “We didn’t get along well enough to keep each other company.”

“That sucks. I can’t imagine you and I not being friends. Even though I have so many friends at school, it feels kind of different to have somebody I can trust completely.”

“You barely know me,” El reminded her, but he was blushing.

“I feel like you know me better than they do,” April insisted, “Maybe just because we’re living together now.”

El nodded, but his thoughts were far away. Living together with Carla hadn’t brought him any closer to her. She seemed to hate him more with each passing year.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” El lied.

“Come on,” April cooed, scooting closer, “You can trust me with anything. Is it about me?”

“No. It’s about Carla.”

April pulled back a little.

“Oh, I see.”

She didn’t look nearly as comfortable as she had a moment ago.

El sighed and continued, “We got along fine when we were kids. But then our parents started hounding us. I did my best to get good grades and follow the rules. Carla didn’t. The more they pushed, the harder she pushed back. And now she blames me for the way they treat her.”

April frowned, but El pushed on.

“I know that she doesn’t hate me, but things are so weird between us now. Every time she looks at me I can see how much I’ve changed, and how sad and worried she is. And the worst part is I kind of like it. But I’m afraid nobody is going to believe me and that you’re just going to end up hating me too because everybody’s being so mean to you for helping me—”

“El, slow down!” April cried, reaching forward and grabbing him by the shoulder, “I can barely make out what you’re saying.”

El was openly crying. He still had his bowl of ice cream in his lap, but wasn’t hungry anymore. April scooted closer again.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” she assured him, “I could never hate you. I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“You say that now,” El replied weakly.

“I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it, El.”

Stephanie turned off the lights to the kitchen and joined them on the couch. El gave her a warm, half-hearted smile and muttered thanks for the ice cream. She acknowledged him, then picked up the remote to change the channel.

El watched the show quietly. He wasn’t sure what it was about, but he didn’t really care. Characters on screen milled about and droned on while he sat with his roiling thoughts.

“Is there something wrong, Eli?” Stephanie asked.

El winced at the sound of his name, then shook his head.

“He’s just worried about the curse, mom,” April insisted.

But El shook his head.

“Then what is it? You can tell us, dear.”

“It’s not important,” he lied, “There’s nothing you can do about it anyway.”

Stephanie moved so that she was sitting next to El. He was stuck between the two woman, but the warmth and compassion surrounding him was hard not to appreciate. When Stephanie offered him her hands, El took them without thinking and squeezed lightly.

She told him, “Sometimes all you need is a shoulder to cry on. We can do that for you.”

El nodded.

“I’m thinking about my sister, that’s all,” he said, “You guys have been great, really. I’m so happy to be here. But then I remember Carla is still at home with our parents, and I feel kind of guilty. How can I enjoy myself when she’s putting up with them?”

He leaned up against Stephanie, who wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m so worried,” El admitted, “When this is over, I’m going to have to go home. And I don’t know what kind of person I’ll be when that happens. What if my parents don’t tolerate me anymore? What if things are worse because of all this? I can’t even drive yet. What if they don’t let me have a car? How am I supposed to put up with them for another two years?”

It was a struggle not to cry. Stephanie cradled El while he trembled. April leaned in a well and hugged him as well.

Stephanie told him, “Eli, I don’t know what’s going to happen when the doctor lifts the curse. Maybe you can go home and be safe and happy. I really hope so. But no matter what, you’re still welcome here. You’re always welcome here, especially if you need somewhere safe.”

“That’s right,” April agreed, “You don’t have to go anywhere that you don’t want to. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a real member of our family.”

El nodded. He was actually crying now, but out of relief. They actually seemed to mean what they said.

“I’m still worried for Carla, though.”

April assured him, “Your sister is strong. I know she can handle herself. She’s probably spending all her time hoping that you’re okay, too.”

“Thanks, you two,” El said, pulling away and sniffling, “I’m going to go to bed a little early tonight.”

He knew that he was just going to have more nightmares, but when El’s head hit the pillow he couldn’t stop smiling.