With barely controlled deep breaths, Feng Xinya only parted his lips from Xue Yang's after two long minutes had finally passed. Before his mind could register what he was doing, his hot tongue had already grazed the boy's slender neck, leaving a wet trail in its wake as his blood-red eyes darkened and his pupils constricted slightly.

Feeling no reaction from the boy underneath him for a while now, it was like a bucket of cold water had been poured all over him as Feng Xinya quickly composed himself and loosened the hold on his wrists that were now slightly bruised with dark red and purple marks.

Feng Xinya slumped down, laying flat on top of Xue Yang not minding his own weight with his eyes tightly shut as he tried to control the intense and wild instincts running rampant inside of him currently, his head nuzzled in the crook of the boy's neck as he took in the calming scent of ambrosia.

It was only when he was confident that his eyes had reverted to its normal golden hazel hue that Feng Xinya lifted himself off from the dazed teenager and moved to sit at the side of the bed.

If he looked back, he would have been able to see relief swimming within the eyes of the youth. Not that he needed to look to know that the boy had relaxed when he put some distance between them. Similarly, the youth would have been able to see the confliction and irritation in Feng Xinya's. But the youth only knew that Feng Xinya thankfully was not only after his body like the others.

Feng Xinya hated not being in control of his own body. That kind of thing, was no different from his manipulation.

And clearly, the frail boy was uncomfortable. Otherwise he would not have frozen up at the very beginning, and then just hopelessly gave up trying to resist when he found his efforts to be fruitless.

In all actuality, the two were extremely similar like Feng Xinya had previously said. They were the same. Both men had lived, bluntly speaking, pretty shitty lives. Yet they had clear goals in sight. Xue Yang wanted to live away from his past as well as from the people who had disappointed him. Feng Xinya wanted to destroy his captor and live freely.

But while Xue Yang had no more attachments, Feng Xinya was utterly broken as an ex-human and now-vampire. He didn't even know what he wanted to do after killing that man. What other reason would he have to live on then? He would have to live off of human blood, becoming a slave once again but this time to the vampire inside of himself.

He smirked, and it was one filled with cruelty and ruthlessness.

Who cared about what happened after as long as he died. And for that, he needed to complete the mission.

Pulling out the phone in his pocket, Feng Xinya completely disregarded Xue Yang in the room on the same bed as him as the person on the other side promptly picked up after the second ring.

"It's as we thought. Proceed."

Short and concise as always, Feng Xinya hung up when he had finished saying what he had to say.

"Have you calmed down?" After a short moment of silence, he asked the boy who was still lying down in the same position behind him.

"Have you?" Xue Yang softly replied with a question of his own.

"En," Feng Xinya fell back onto the soft mattress, ultimately using Xue Yang's lap as a pillow. This time, seeing that both of them no longer had turbulent emotions, Xue Yang brought his own palm down to rest upon Feng Xinya's head.

Feng Xinya leisurely turned his head to face Xue Yang, who was already looking at him with his pale green eyes.

Feeling the gentle movements of the younger boy's fingers ruffling his hair, Feng Xinya left no room for negotiation when he declared with a low voice, "You aren't tainted."

He saw that Xue Yang was about to refute, so he cut him off before he could even say anything, "Understood?"

"What's the point in insisting that something is true when it's not?" Xue Yang bit his bottom lip in frustration.

Reaching for the hand that was currently caressing his head, Feng Xinya grasped it in his own and brought it to his lips, lightly grazing the fingers across his lips before he chuckled darkly, "You don't even know what it means to be tainted."

In response, Xue Yang balled his hands into fists. Or at least, he attempted to but only managed to form one fist while the one in Feng Xinya's hand remained outstretched.

Feng Xinya knew what Xue Yang had most likely been through in the brothel but couldn't say he could relate. After all, while that man was sick in the head in terms of torture and manipulation he had never actually done that to him.

It wasn't out of goodwill or pity--rather, many other vampire captors often subjected their own slaves to such treatment--he was just an eccentric. To the all-powerful vampire general, Feng Xinya was simply not his type for better or worse. Because of that, he was subjected to longer hours of torture with many more methods than the norm.

After deliberating on what to say, Xue Yang only scoffed and rolled his eyes, "You clearly know better, so there's no point in arguing."

"I do," Feng Xinya drawled as he licked the slender fingers in his grip one by one, causing the boy underneath to temporarily freeze and stiffen.

He lowered his eyelids to rest his eyes for a while, "You and me," Feng Xinya paused, then sighed slightly before correcting himself.

"You're not like them."

Because he lacked context, Xue Yang was slightly confused, which didn't go unnoticed.

He patiently elaborated, "No one is completely clean. But, did you like it? When they touched you. Even just for one second."

"No," Xue Yang didn't hesitate to express his disgust.

"Then have you ever wanted to do the same back to them?"

"No," he cringed, "But that's different isn't it?" From you, were the two words he left unsaid.

"Not really. You only wanted to leave forever. To move on. Am I wrong?" Feng Xinya's deep voice was like the devil's whisper, so convincing and hard to refute.

How could Xue Yang not know where he was going with this? It was true, he hated his life in the brothel but it never occurred to him to kill anyone or to reverse their positions. His darkest thoughts were simply catching an STD and inevitably spreading it and causing their deaths indirectly. But that would just be their bad karma.

On more than one occasion he had wished to just end his own life rather than dragging others to their deaths.

"To be tainted," Feng Xinya smirked, his eyes flashing coldly, "means that you want much more. I, for example."

As their gazes remained locked onto each other, Feng Xinya kept his emotions in check,

"I wouldn't be able to let them go just like that."

He made the bloodthirst in his voice and aura leak out slightly, to get his point across.

"You're a victim, not some criminal."

"And you aren't?" Xue Yang asked, as he knew that Feng Xinya was more complex than just a simple killer. Not that he saw him as a killer, but rather, that was the kind of vibe Feng Xinya seemed to want to get across just then.

"You could say that," the older man laughed, but it was filled with cruelty and ruthlessness, "but I stopped being a simple victim a long time ago."

"So you liked it when they did whatever they did to you?" Xue Yang uncharacteristically teased, but Feng Xinya frowned and his face darkened before he spat out,

"No."

"Then, aren't you just a victim too." For the first time, the corners of Xue Yang's lips were upturned albeit almost unnoticeably.

And before Feng Xinya could protest, Xue Yang shuffled his hand to block the other man's thin lips before he continued on, "I simply don't have the ability to retaliate. So I choose not to. But you do, so you can."

He smiled, "So, like you said, we're the same."

The soft hand covering his lips annoyed him at first, but after facing the boy's slight smile as he proudly declared their similarities Feng Xinya decided to just let it go.

Only after what seemed like half a day did Feng Xinya remove the warm palm from its place over his mouth, "You want revenge?"

Xue Yang's eyes widened slightly before laughing twice, "What's the point if I don't do it myself?"

Of course he wanted to get back at his aunt, for everything he'd gone through. He wasn't a saint, like what Feng Xinya thought he was. It was just that it wasn't worth his time and effort at this point since everything was too late. He already couldn't forgive his parents for leaving him, and Feng Xinya most likely had Shadow under control.

If only he knew that Feng Xinya didn't believe in saints at all. It was just that when compared to himself the boy really did seem like one.

With a serious tone and expression as he stared into Xue Yang's clear eyes, Feng Xinya offered, "I'll help you."

But Xue Yang just waved his free hand dismissively, "It's okay. The fact that I'm alive and well would be enough to drive her insane."

"..."

Pushing the suddenly extremely irritating man off of his lap, Xue Yang really wanted to just kick him out of his room and go to sleep even though it was still mid-day.

Why?

Because as soon as he finished saying what he did just then, he saw that Feng Xinya's gaze was clearly mocking him with unspoken words, And you say you aren't a saint.

Seeing the usually expressionless boy so lively was much easier on the eyes to Feng Xinya. Even if they weren't exactly the same type of people in how they took care of their enemies, he found Xue Yang's soft side endearing.

Since he had completed the things he set out to do already, after having been pushed off of Xue Yang's lap Feng Xinya slowly walked towards the door, "Get some rest. You just recovered your memories, and I know not all of them are pleasant."

If you knew, then you shouldn't have made me remember! Xue Yang wanted to yell out but kept his mouth closed since he knew that he was just running away previously. And, even more importantly was that Feng Xinya had practically told him that he would continue to stay with him so he wanted to be able to proudly stand by his side and hopefully help him out with his own problems like the other man did for him.

On his way out, Xiao was astonished by his iceberg of a host's efficiency and ability to coax others.

Not only did Xue Yang recover his lost memories, but Feng Xinya was also able to convince the boy to not hate himself so much (as that was an ugly quality that Feng Xinya found he disliked), and lastly he was even able to get him to express himself a little bit more.

Meanwhile, Feng Xinya silently decided.

Since he had decided to wipe his memories of this world, Feng Xinya felt that he may as well make the best of it, and to do that he needed to make the people he planned to keep around him more pleasing to be around. But, the only person he planned to keep around him was Xue Yang so he really only needed to complete his mission now.

 

 

 

OMG THIS NOVEL IS SERIOUSLY SO HARD TO WRITE IDK WHY even though I had everything planned out, I think it's because of my lack of ability to convey feelings?! Xinya and Yang both have pretty high EQ so it wouldn't take them long to figure out if they had feelings for each other, but rn they aren't really at that passionate stage xD so we won't be jumping the gun and flipping the bed :'DD

And even more importantly is that it will take a while for Xinya to prioritize anything else over his missions, since completing his missions is the only way he could attain his wish, you know? It makes everything so much harder for me to write because of how complex this guy was written out to be *shot myself in the foot*

AND ALSO WORSE IS XUE YANG WTF ME! Because Yang is such an understanding and mature kiddo, it gives me a lot of room to just make Xinya say one word and he'd understand but then i worry that readers won't be able to catch on LOL so i try to balance it out.

Hopefully this chapter wasn't just a boatload of nonsense? It wasn't, right????