After some time with my friends, I felt a lot lighter. Like I was gradually being accepted by this world. Or was it just me trying to be a drama king? I couldn't understand what happened. How do I explain these emotions? Was it mine or his?
Anyway, after eating with them at a cheap fast food restaurant and talking for a little while, we decided to call it a day. While Elle and Jet went in one direction, I along with Joanne went in the opposite one. We lived nearby, yet somehow I managed to skip walking with her all these days.
Well, if I think about it, I ended up choosing Mara over Joanne, then I was beaten, and she had something to do. It was normal that we couldn't walk home together. After all, living nearby doesn't mean that we should follow some kind of pattern in our relationship.
Right now, I was treating Joanne as a friend, albeit a somewhat distant one. I knew that she had some kind of feelings for me in the game, but I couldn't and didn't want to reciprocate them at the moment.
"I'm glad that you finally returned, and everything is over," she gave me a small smile.
"Well, I won't say that everything is over right now, but I will strive so that I will return to the good old peaceful days." I returned the smile to her.
"By the way, um…" As Joanne suddenly stopped, I could only stop as well. "I have a question."
"What is it?"
She blushed then paled. This repeated a few more times before she finally managed to ask her question, "Um, what were you talking about with Mara?" Did she… mention me in your conversation?"
"Hmm," I rubbed my chin, "Well not that I remember anything like this. We talked about my memory and stuff, that's all. By the way, she had a pretty intense reaction."
As she heard this, Joanne exhaled and lightly patted her chest. This move only accentuated how big her boobs were. A+ grade weapon of charming men.
"Is everything alright?" I smiled as I peered into her face.
The smile was partially because it was such a stupid game. Played by the little kids trying to hide how they cheated. Cheated on whom? We aren't lovers, little girl. You can date and fuck whoever you want. I felt like I was around first-year high-schoolers that hit puberty just yesterday, not college students. They were awkward in hiding their motives and even more awkward in expressing their thoughts.
Yeah, I should doubt everything I learn, but there were no two ways to read situations like this. I bet even if I didn't know a single thing about this world, I would still read them like an open book. Joanne felt bad that she cheated. Elle and Jet suspiciously had something to do together. Whatever, I don’t care. Right now, my mind was occupied by Jessie and how exactly she would help me.
Maybe she misunderstood my smile as she smiled back at me again. You are one-third of a smiley trio, you know it?
"But you should still be careful around her," she suddenly changed her expression to a serious one.
"Why's that?" I motioned for her to start walking again.
"She may say that she likes you as many times as she wants, however, this isn't love."
"Could you perhaps explain this to me?"
"Um, how do I say this... She is just obsessed with you because you were the first one to reject her not once but twice."
"That's my thoughts as well."
"But this isn't the end."
"Huh?"
" I don't know what caught her eyes, but I feel like she saw something in you. And that's why she wants you in her control so that she can toy with you till she gets bored and throw you away."
"You sure?"
"You can say it's a woman's intuition."
"So, you thought of the same thing?"
"What!?" her mouth was in the shape of the letter o.
"It's just a joke," I waved my hand, "Oh, we finally reached your house."
"Jeez, don't try to change the subject in the middle of the talk." Joanne pouted.
"But we really arrived." I smiled wryly.
"So what? Are you in a hurry?"
"I'm…" I tried to think of something I could use as an excuse to leave early. "Not." but couldn't come up with anything.
"That's why you should spend some time with me. And by the way, why do I have this feeling like you are avoiding us?" She squinted her eyes.
"Hahaha, it's probably your imagination." I tried to laugh this off.
Fuck me, the girls in this world are abnormal, that's for sure. If Jessie ends up like the rest of them, it would probably be better to leave this town.
"No, I'm sure you've changed. Though I can't grasp how."
"Well, I lost some of my memories." thank god I can use this excuse.
"No, I feel something more, like you've completely changed. If you were the same, you would never give Elle a ride, you would never talk to Mara, and the way you acted in front of Reid…" to the end, her words were almost inaudible as she was looking down.
I couldn't stop myself from scratching my head. How should I resolve this?
"Is it because of Rose?"
"Hmm?" I was still thinking when I heard Joanne's mumbling. "Rose? Well, you can say she played a part in this."
As I said it Joanne's eyes glinted frighteningly.
"You can say that after the incident, I had my mind in a mess," I waved a finger near my temple. "I thought about everything a lot. About my life, about my friends, about myself…"
"And what have you come to?" her face was so serious right now. I didn't know how to react.
"I was too serious before. I think that I should make everything a little bit lighter, especially after finding help with Reid. To turn a new page in my life." It couldn't be called complete bullshit, but it wasn't a full truth either. After all, I wasn't the boy she liked.
I looked at my phone. "Look at the time. I think I should go now, see you tomorrow Joanne."
"Sigh. Yes, see you tomorrow."
I tried to not look at her face as I waited for her to enter the front door. I just couldn't wrap my head around this. There were too many things I thought about simultaneously.
She loved this guy, I am sure of it, yet she cheated on him. But it was their problem. I've had no say if he would end up with her. Will she ever be able to talk to him again? It's me inside his body, and I don't know what will happen to me in the next few minutes. They were young. It was their right to commence mistakes.
Cheating on your crush. I, as a person, couldn't forgive this. However, even if I didn't like her, I think it's a cruel fate. Being robbed of your loved one.
After she entered the front door, I walked back home. Dinner with a pair of parents, doing homework, showering before going to bed. I felt like I could easily get accustomed to this. I was already accustomed to this in the previous world.
The next day I met with the siren that woke me up for more than a week already. As I did my morning routine, I got a message from Jessie.
"Let's meet at the front gates, and don't forget to bring your gym uniform."
It was the first message from her after all these days. I messaged back that I got it.
"Huuu, it's time, it's time. I will take back control. I will show them what I'm made of."
I was walking to school, trying to psyche myself up. No matter how many hands there are trying to help me, if I didn't grab one of them, I won't be able to pull myself up. But most importantly, it was my time to grit my teeth.
I felt that after this day, there would be lots of painful things waiting for me. Reading the novels where everyone got some magic powers or systems. Where heroes got some hidden talent or had an innate strong personality. I thought that even if I didn't have anything like this, I would be ready for anything.
I was weak-willed, not as smart as other people, I was petty and vindictive. I was afraid, and I hated pain all my life. I never helped anyone in trouble. And I was granted a miracle. If I remember right, this body was made for physical activities. For fighting, yet I couldn't do anything to Reid and his gang.
It was not a miracle. You can have the most powerful weapon in the world, but if you can't use it, what's the point?
Yet this was the time to change.
No matter what will wait for me, I will persevere. Even if I would vomit blood or lose my eyesight. Broke my legs and arms or had a disfigured face, I will keep moving on.
And the closer I went to the meeting place, the more this resolve was flying away. What should I do if I meet Reid here? Right now?
I remember reading articles about bullying and how the victims were afraid. I didn't understand, why won't they fight back? But after a few days of bullying, I think I understood them a little bit. I was afraid. Especially because Reid didn't show up on Monday. What will he do today?
As I finally reached the front gates, I tried to look inconspicuous. It was now time for me to wait for Jessie. I tried to use whatever was near me to look smaller.
When I went to meet Mara, I didn't feel like this. I stood rather boldly, not being afraid. Was it because I didn't think Reid would show up?
The students were entering the school territory one by one. And every time I saw someone who looked at least a little bit like Reid, I would immediately stare down. It was always the waiting that was the most troublesome thing.
The flow of time almost stopped for me. I felt how my back was covered with sweat. I had a feeling that I was standing near the gate for almost an hour. I nervously pressed skip the song on my phone every few seconds.
That's when I heard the voice that paralyzed me with terror.
"Hey, shithead, come over here!" It was the strong voice of a young man. Attracting the attention of students that passed by. Some of them even stopped in tracks, waiting for what would unfold here.
I haven't known Reid for too long, but it was enough for me to shit my pants whenever I thought about him, and right now, he was coming from inside of the campus. How the hell did he enter the school without bumping into me?
"When I tell you to do something, you should do it right away!"
I took a quick glance in the direction of this voice and saw Reid and his goons. I as well saw the trio of friends standing at some distance from the gang.
I didn't know what to do. Should I follow his orders while I wait for Jessie, or should I ignore him? The longer I thought, the more the crowd around me grew.
"I will give you time before I finish counting to five."
"ONE!"
I heard people start murmuring.
"TWO!"
As I looked around, I was the only one left near the gates. Most of the students made a circle.
"THREE!"
I couldn't see Jessie anywhere, and It meant only one thing. I must somehow get through this. I started walking to Reid. I felt this count was similar to what I did on the bridge. At the same time, it was completely different.
"FOUR!"
And before he could finish saying five, I was standing in front of him. I didn't look him in the eyes. He was something akin to a snake while I was a frog.
"So you decided to hide from me?" he smirked, "I thought I already said this to you. You can't hide from me here."
He suddenly grabbed the nape of my neck, and I almost fell down.
"Now I'm gonna punish you in front of the crowd for not abiding me."
I thought that he would hit me, but I didn't manage to close my eyes in time and saw something completely different from what I imagined.
There was a foot placed on the side of Reid's body. Under the eyes of the crowd, he was pushed to the side. Losing his grip on me, he almost fell down.
Everyone from his gang was stupefied while the students around us just stood there, whispering between each other. Someone was filming the whole thing. This moment lasted for what felt like an eternity, and then I heard a woman's calm voice.
"And what do you think you are doing?"
hey, don't say that. Last chapter was really enjoyable. There is no problem in taking a break, but I assure you that the quality of your novel is not dropping
You need to tone down reids personality. I don't know how it is in your country but I have never in my entire life seen such blatant bullying. If you want accurately portray bullying then you can't just copy those manwhas that you're trying to deviate from.
Your goal was a protagonist who was different from all those other Korean protagonists but they are virtually identical, But at least those Kr protagonists learn to stand up for themselves. And why can't this seemingly adult man tackle some bullying? He has supportive friends (even if they f*ck around, which I don't get how it is cheating?) a family etc. And he immediately goes from suicidal to being happy as a peach?
What you get is boring 1d characters, extremely slow pacing, A protagonist who can't decide if he's an adult or bumbling child, Character development that's sudden and immediately retconned and boring villains.
You should definitely get an editor and try to be more sure of what you want from this story.
I agree with some of your statements. Also, right now I don't have enough time or money for an editor. Now to your critique.
First of all bullying. From where I from, there are girls and boys like this. I saw the news and heard from my friend and acquaintances about those kinds of people. I didn't meet any of them personally when I was studying. Although there was a guy who very strongly kicked a dude with asthma in the chest, just because he was angry. And guess what? Nothing was ever done to him, because of money and power. If there is a "privileged" class in your country, and there is in mine, there will be children of those people. Who would do whatever the hell they want because they can. That's one of the reasons why I can relate those "bullies" in the Chinese novels. Because they exist here, where I live. But the development of Reid isn't over. You can say that this is all a starting point.
About the one-dimensional characters. I wrote them precisely like that to show the contrast later down the story. As I stated earlier Reid is one of them, classical villain/bully who will have a lot more development later.
As for the character development that is retconned and how I see it. This is done intentionally as well. I try to convey that if you live your life without any setbacks if you close yourself in a bubble with only good things happening to you when you met even the smallest setback you wouldn't know what to do. You never saw a situation like that, let alone taught how to manage situations like this. And that's what the protagonist ended up doing. All his life he lived without problems, and when he was met with a critical situation he had a nervous breakdown.
And why he was alright the next day. Well, this is one of the things that I've done very poorly. I tried to show in the intermission that he was kind of manipulated. I wanted to show that he didn't appear in this world from out of nowhere, and what "helped" him to cross the worlds once did it once again in calming him down. And later down the story, would elaborate on this.
And about the slow pace. Well, I don't know how to answer this. I constantly struggling if I should up the pace a little, or if I should explain something. And in the end, I guess I just shower you all with useless information. But I just can't afford any editor. This is one of my dreams. To hire an artist and editor to transform this into a full-fledged, free light novel.
Oh yeah, and about the cheating. I as well don't think this is cheating but you know. There are people out there who think differently.
@SailusGebel
you live in asian country? or latin america?
good job though, MC acts like someone who never really graduated from highschool and just coasted through life.
As a good friend of mine once said " If you don't do the things you don like, then you can only rot there"
You got MC down. But i must point out an inconsistency, he first says that childhood friend is free to date and screw who she likes since they aren't dating yet considers this a betrayal/cheat later on.
@EmperorMan In one of the Commonwealth of Independent States, or CIS countries. You can as well name them as countries that were previously a part of the USSR.
@SailusGebel I see.
Yeah I feel you about the privileged classes. We have them in Asia too. its one of those things everyone knows but don't talk about too openly.
@EmperorMan Sad to hear it. Hope everything will be well in the future. And thanks for pointing out my mistake. I will make some time and fix it.
@SailusGebel my god dude this alone is half a chapter ?
Anyway I like this story seeing how a character development is happening
But I think you should introduce a time skip soon and also a s*x scene
@SailusGebel not cheating I agree and I also agree with mc view that he doesn't need this girl in life
@Sinner30700 That's my problem, I can't explain anything succinctly. And yeah, a little spoiler, in a few chapters I plan a small time skip and a s*x scene.