“BOOM! EXPLOSION LANDING! NOT SO FAST UNIVERSEMAN!”
“What!? It’s YOU! WHAT are you doing here?” Universeman shouts in surprise “UNIVERSEMAN… ALTER!?”
“HE HE HE! It’s me!” Universeman-Alter greets everyone with an evil laugh. “I personally don’t have anything against you. But now, you have done it!”
“Haaa? I have done what?” Universeman asks.
“How dare you turn all women in my universe to loli!?”
“Oh no!” Universeman hugs his head. “My desire for lolis was too strong! All the girls in every universe are lolis now!”
“Yes, that even includes every alternative universe!” Universeman-Alter yells. "Now for my sake, turn them back!"
But Universeman shakes his head. “I refuse! I shall do no such thing as to reduce the number of lolis in any universe! It's my universe way!”
“Then I’ll have no choice but to fight you Universeman,” Universeman-Alter says. “for the sake of all women!”
“Okay! Let’s decide things with a fight, Universeman Alter!” Universeman says, accepting the challenge.
“Eat this!” Universeman-Alter takes out his weapon! “Woooosh wwoosssshh!!! Thousand spinning broom!”
“Oh no!” Universeman shouts, terrified.
“Hahaha!” Universeman-Alter laughs. “Faster spinning! Million spinning broom of d- OUCH!!! Arrghhhhh my teeeth!”
“Arrrgh! How can you hit your own face there?” Universeman says with a painful voice.
“I- I messed up!” Universeman-Alter says. “Again! Heyyaaa! Million spinning broo- AAA! FUCK TABLES!... Arrgghhhh… please wait a second, I will come back in a moment…
“Seriously? Who the hell put banana peels here?”
“Grrr… I’m back!” Universeman Alter is back! “Now Let’s resume our fight, Universeman!”
“YES! I’m ready, Universeman Alter!” Universeman says, full of confidence.
“Alright! Eat this!” Universeman-Alter is going to perform his ultimate again! “WOooooooo sssshhh wooooo sssshhh!!!! Million spinning brooms of d- Ouuuuuuchhh!!!!! my balls !!! ….. Aaaaa…. FUCK BROOM! …. Aaaa… time out! Time out!”
“Aaaaa… seriously? The hell is wrong with this broom today?”
“Grrr… I’m back again!” Universeman Alter is back once more! “Broom no more! Behold! My Excaliber of Death!” he shouts and takes out his new weapon.
“Oh no! New weapon!” Universeman’s face is all white now! “I-Is that... The Excalibor!?”
“YES!”
“Oh no! I’m screwed!” Universeman hugs his head, trembling. “I don’t have any legendary weapons!”
“Meow~~~”
“Eh?” Universeman looks down at his feet as he just heard something.
~Meow~ …. Meow~~~~~”
“Aha! My servant has come to aid me!” Universeman shouts cheerfully. “I don’t fear your sword no more!”
~Meow~!~
“Oh no! It’s the Cat Disaster!” Universeman-Alter exclaims.
“Yes! He’s THE Cat Disaster!” Universeman nods. “He’s the loyal servant of Universeman! With his unmatched power and awesome moves like lightning, no evil can escape!”
“Oh no… It’s not fair!” Universeman-Alter is shaking! “It’s 2 on 1, NOT FAIR!” he screams.
“Who says life is fair? Too naive! Ha ha ha ha!” Universeman laughs. “Come on Cat Disaster! Show him what you got!”
~Meow~~w!~
“Hmmm… what is he doing?” Universeman-Alter asks.
~Meow~
“He is charging his ultimate move, wait a second.”
“Okay…”
~Meow… Meow~
“Alright! He has finished charging!” Universeman then laughs. “Now tremble! Tremble before Cat Disaster’s laser beam of cat! *Hup*! Come on Cat Disaster! Show him! Show him what you- …”
~MERRRWWWWWDAREYOUTOUCHMESTUPIDHOOMEOWWW!!!!!!!
“AAAAAAAA! My face!” Universeman hugs his bloody face! “Cat Disaster! Why did you betray me!? Ouchh!”
“Uwahhhh… It hurts… Uwahhh… Stop, stop this fight for a moment Universeman Alter!” Universeman begs. “I-I… I must get back for some healing.”
“Okay! I will be waiting… uwahhh...” Universeman-Alter agrees.
“”Woah, that's some sharp claws, Alex,” I says, “Guess I’ll have to trim your claws tonight…”
~Meowwww~
“Let’s see... where is the bandage? Hmmmm…”
~Meow~~~ Meowww~~~
“O-ya? Why are you following me to the kitchen? You’re hungry?”
~Meow~ <3
“Okay, let’s feed you first.”
...
“Aha! I’m back Universeman Alter!” Universeman shouts. “The traitor has been executed!”
“Good!” Universeman-Alter thumbs up. “Let’s resume our fight!”
“Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Sparkle transformation! Blink blink blink blink blink! Magical girl suit male version three point one activate! Magical girl meter nine thousand!!!”
“Oh no! You tricked me!!!” Universeman-Alter eye’s shot open in disbelief! “You told me to wait for your healing, but instead, you went to get the magical girl suit!”
“Ahaaaa!” Universeman laughs in a magical girl dress. “As I said, You’re too naive!!! Now eat this! Huuuuuuu~.... Magical girl... ThunderRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Bzurrrrrr bzurrrrrrr!!!!!”
“AAaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!” Universeman-Alter is being zapped!
“BZurrrrrrrrrr! bzurrrrrrr!!!!!”
“BLoblobloblob...“ Universeman-Alter’s mouth is now foaming up!
“Haha! You are quite strong!” Universeman says after using the skill. “You survived the Magical girl ThunderRRR! Now eat this instead! Magicalllllllllll … PUNCHES! POWWWWW POWWWW~!”
“Pwuahhhhhh!” Universeman-Alter can’t react so he received the punches head on.
“POWWWWW!” another punch to the chin of Universeman-Alter!
“My head is flying!” Universeman-Alter screams! “How can that punch be s powerful aaaa!!!”
“HAhahAHA!!!” Universeman laughs. “Now i will punch your legs and arms off too! Pooow POW!”
“AAAAAA! Nooo!!! Not my arms too!” Universeman-Alter loses his limbs. “Regenerate!!! RegeneratE!!!”
“But my punches are faster!” Universeman is still puniching! “Pow pow pow pow pow a million times a second!”
“Super Regeneration!!!! Super hyper Regenreration of Death!” Universeman’s leg grows back despite being punched off seconds ago. “A trillion regeneration a second!”
“Then I will punch you a ten trillion times a second! Pow pow pow pow pow pow pow!
“A million trillion regeneration a second!”
“Too slow! A triple million trillion trillion times a second! P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pow!!”
“Aaaaaa!!!! His punches are too fast! Aaaaa!!! Can’t keep up with this!!!!” Universeman-Atler screams.
“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pow!!!”
“Aaaaaa… I’m being turned to dust! Noooo!!!” Universeman-Alter is fading away!
“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-POWW!!!” Universeman still going!
“Nooo…. Blah blah … vomiting blood … Blah blah i died!” Universeman-Alter is dead.
...
“Like hell I will believe that!” Universeman shouts! “One trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion punches a seconddd!!!”
“AAAAAaaaaaa!” Universeman-Alter’s voice is still here! “How can you see through my fake death! Aaaaaa!!!!”
“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pow!” Universeman is punching the air but it's actually Universeman's Alter last cells!
“Nooooo!.. Urrrghhhh .uuuu … Blah blah… vomiting real blood… blah blah … i died.” Universeman-Alter is dead for real.
...
“Hmmmm… No! That’s not your real death either! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppow!!”
“AAaaaaaa!!!!! Nooooo!!!!! … Blah blah. … Vomiting blood for real… blah blah… I died 100% for real this time.” Universeman-Alter ist ded.
...
“Hmmmp!!!" Universeman nods, satisfied. "Now that’s a real death!” He says.
“Yes!!! Thank you Universeman!” a silver haired girl kisses Universeman’s cheek.
“Haha! Thank you!” Universeman says with a blush on his face. “Universeman-Alter ist ded. The universe can now finally be safe!”
“Is… is it over?” a creamy haired girl then asks.
….
“NOOOOOOOOO!” Universeman yells, “Don’t trigger that flag!”
“BOOOOOOOM! BERYMAN IS HERE! ROCKS FLYING PEW PEW PEW! DARKNESS LANDING SO COOL!"
"Oh no..." Universeman face palms.
"NOT SO FAST, UNIVERSEMAN!”
PFFFT!