Chapter Sixty-Five - Politics According to Cat
“In 2022 a bill was brought up for consideration by members of the then-Republican and Democratic parties, in a bipartisan gesture. The bill would, in essence, restrict the ability of a samurai to participate in the open market. They would not be allowed to purchase or own stocks or shares in a company, they would not be allowed to own or operate their own business, and in theory, would need to be affiliated with a company in good-standing in order to file their taxes.
In 2023 a samurai named Blitzo accidentally detonated a chemical laser weapon above Washington, D.C. The beams projected by this device, all of them with temperatures of several thousands of degrees, and no wider than a hair, were fired across the city at entirely random angles.
Of the seventy-two casualties from this accident, seventy-two were politicians or lobbyists.
By sheer, scientifically-proven coincidence, these were all lobbyists and politicians in favour of the bill.
The bill did not pass.
Blitzo was charged, tried and acquitted of all charges. His defence, that the bomb was set off accidentally by a faulty fuse, and that the lasers could have gone in literally any direction, was impossible to disprove, regardless of how unlikely the results happened to be.
Judge Van Maners, who presided over Blitzo’s trial, was quoted as saying, ‘Fuck all of that.’”
--Excerpt from Samurai and Politics, a Simple Guide, 2039
***
“Ah,” Lorenz began with all the grace of a new manager meeting his first Karen. “We... you see... um.”
“Um?” I repeated.
“Cat,” Gomorrah said. There was a bit of a warning tone to it. “I think what Lorenz was trying to say there was that he’s very, very sorry that he almost blew you up, and that he will make sure that the Family takes full responsibility for the damages caused here.”
“I don’t know if I can... I mean, yes. Yes, that’s what I meant,” Lorenz said in a hurry.
I snorted, but... yeah, I was basically bullying the idiot at this point. An idiot with an orbital gun, but an idiot still. “How many people are working with you, Lorenz?”
“We’re a team of forty,” he said. “For the NA-near-orbit zone.”
So, he wasn’t some guy in a basement pressing on big red buttons for fun. The background in his image kind of hinted at him being somewhere important. Lots of books and little photos on a shelf behind him, as well as awards and some knick-knacks. Office shit, basically.
“And who’s... Zeus?”
“That’s the samurai that set up the orbital drop system,” Lorenz said. “He’s a member of the Family.”
“Right,” I said. So Zeus wasn’t the one pulling the trigger? “Tell him that he needs to give his toys to more responsible people.”
“I... will pass that along?”
I wanted to rub at my forehead. Instead, I settled for starting to walk in circles around the arena parking lot. “How long until the army comes in?”
“They’re waiting for the debris to clear. They should be there in under half an hour. Though, I’m not the one in charge of that side of things.”
“Then who is?” Gomorrah asked.
Lorenz swallowed. “That would be the NA Coordination group?”
“How big is the Family?” I asked.
Lorenz blinked. “It’s the biggest samurai-affiliated and run organization in North America?”
So a corp, but one run by samurai? “Damnit,” I muttered.
“They’re not that bad,” Gomorrah said, likely reading my mind. “Lorenz, you’ve done an awful job of... a lot of things. Maybe you can redeem yourself by telling us about the mines?”
“Yes, yes, I can do that. I’m sending you the geological readings. The map might not be entirely accurate, but it should be close. It’s based on the tremors caused by our orbital impacts. Each impact is offset by a few seconds, and based on the vibrations across the region, we can extrapolate... ah, nevermind. We have maps.”
“Yeah,” I said. “And the Antithesis are in those caves?”
“Mineshafts,” Lorenz corrected. “And it’s very likely. The hive was difficult to see from orbit. Stealth hives tend to create a lot of ‘chaff’ that spreads quickly and makes scans difficult to run. It’s also very easy to overlook the sort of static they create.”
“Not here for a lesson,” I said.
“Right, right. Um, yes. The hive was originally concentrated over a random part of the forest, but it then started spreading. That spread’s speed slowed down considerably just as the hive reached a position above one shaft that happened to be relatively close to the surface.”
I stopped pacing. “They slowed down because... well, they weren’t slowing down, they were just growing down instead of out?”
“That’s what we suspect, yes.”
I chewed on my lips.
“It’s a very small hive. The Family will be sending some of its best samurai to eradicate it tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked.
“In the early morning,” Lorenz confirmed.
“The incursion here was only two days old and it was already threatening Black Bear. Give it a dozen hours and it might be able to start producing more models that will be a threat,” Gomorrah said. “I don’t doubt the family can get on top of it, but why not act sooner?”
“That’s what the second set of impacts are for. To weaken the Antithesis’ position.”
“And wreck the town even more,” I said.
So, we had a choice. Let the Family basically nuke the place, then come in tomorrow to mop up. That option would mess the town up even more. Probably not too bad, actually. Anyone that was hurt was probably in cover already, and we have more time to warn people. The army would be here too.
That reminded me, I had to call Cause Player, see if he was still alive.
The second option was doing shit ourselves. Risky. And dumb.
But the points...
“What are you thinking?” Gomorrah asked.
“I wonder if I’m claustrophobic or not,” I said.
“You don’t know?”
“I’ve been in a few tight, warm places before,” I said. “Lucy and I both found that very enjoyable. But this is different.”
Gomorrah made a disgusted noise. “Do you really have to turn everything into a sex joke?”
“Yes?”
“Right, well I’m in favour of clearing it out ourselves,” Gomorrah said.
“Really?” I asked.
“Tight quarters, small sight-lines, flammable enemies. This is literally the perfect situation for my loadout,” Gomorrah said. “Might not get another like this for a while. I could use the points.”
I felt my good eyebrow raise. “Going to get a second car?”
“I’m a one-car kind of woman,” Gomorrah said. “As God intended. No, I want some more defences around the church. I had some people snooping around already. I’m not fond of that.”
“You could buy one of the floors below my new place. Turn it into a... church thing, or whatever. Hell, you can slap a steeple on the roof. Lucy would hate it at first, but I think its phallic nature would win her over eventually. Plus she’d get to see nuns. And tease them.”
“You have such a one-track mind,” Gomorrah complained.
“Sorry, when I get fidgety,” I explained. “Anyway, where you go I go, I guess.”
Lorenz sighed. “That’s great to hear.”
I’d honestly forgotten he was even there.
“We’re waiting until the army shows up,” I said. “Not going to leave all these people out here without anyone to defend them.”
“There’s a whole battalion coming in,” Gomorrah said. “Sounds like they’re taking this seriously.”
No PMCs, weird. My interactions with the government so far had been... sparse and traumatic. I hoped that the government’s army wouldn’t be similar. “Good, I guess. Once they get here, I’ll head over to you. We can figure things out from there.”
“Thank you, both of you. The Family will certainly appreciate your assistance in this matter,” Lorenz said.
“Kissing my ass won’t un-blow-up me,” I said.
Gomorrah actually giggled for a half-second before cutting off with a cough. “Yes, well, see you soon.”
“See you soon,” I said. “And Lorenz, do call a girl before exploding her or things in her vicinity. It’s just polite.”
“R-right,” Lorenz mumbled.
The line went dead and I let out a long breath before stretching my back.
An interesting conversation, and a great opportunity.
“To die in a hole, you mean.”
I would encourage you to save some points to use in case of that sort of emergency. Or, alternatively, spend them on something that would save you in case of a cave in.
“Like what, a teleportation machine?” I asked.
Yes. There are many ways of moving things from one point to another without crossing the space between the two points.
I blinked. “You can teleport stuff?”
The silence was very, very long.
Catherine... how do you explain the items you purchase arriving before you?
“Oh, right. Obviously.”
I spent the long minutes waiting for the army to arrive feeling particularly stupid.
I've had her for a day and I would shank any one of you for her.
Valid. Completely understandable, I’d do the same for my doggos.
Truly understandable. I have nunchuks and cats. The nunchuks aren't for the cats.
Firearms, many firearms, both big and little, have had dogs all my life.
The dogs don't bite, mom and pop do!
Molly is best girl period (starts worshiping the good doggo)
The main character may be a dumbass, but I love her
I've had her for a day and I would shank any one of you for her.
I would shank me too~
I'm more a cat person (and i think i have alway live with a cat around, now i think about it ?) but she seem reaaaaaly cute. the kind you can't stop to said "you are a good doggy, yes, yes ! Who is the good doggy ? Yes it's you. Oh yes you are a good doggy !" and other cringe, overly sweet and dumb thing like that ...
At last she seem to be, on the pic
(and i like how Cat is sometime reaaaaaly dumb )
I'm surprised we haven't seen any large conflicts between samurai. I know they use their power somewhat liberally and you would think people with so much power and strong personalities would come to blows with one another, but then again it might have been brought up at some point and I just missed it. (I skim over the beginning part of each chapter.)
The AI's or something evaluated possible samurai, picking people that are likely going to continue fighting and not go full murderhobo. Or something like that, I think it was mentioned somewhere early chapters.
@Haymore I'm not saying that. Theirs a difference between people having different values forcing them to come to blows and murder hobos.
@Slavin yes and no : because only murder hobo will go to kill, and snap, when the whole world is in stake. So chose the good kind of people to give power is alway realy crucial : even more if they are young, without the shreed of law and power to restrict them, and able to literaly blow the planet.
Opinion conlfict, and conflict driving to real fight (and maybe bloodbath and killing) is totaly different, en mostly depend of what kind of people lead in the end ... The fact some already find killing people on their path "not a problem" like the midget laser-lover is already ... dangerous enough. But if she start to see other Samourai like target ??? Hell, i don't even want to think about it. Beside ... something said me IA doon't like when this kind of thing happen ...
@Ombre37 And it was mentioned that they work together but if a few bombs or stuff happen to land near rivals on the field that’s just ribbing and civilian come first