Chapter Forty-Seven - In Which Lucy Does Politics

“The cost of a vote?

Last election cycle the cost dropped when a mobile game company traded votes for waifus. It was one of the most popular elections in a while!”

--Interview with Nimbletainment’s CPO, 2035

***

Burringham--I don’t know why, but some people just had a sort of... family-name only kind of face, and Jeff here was definitely one of those--took a moment to glance around the store while standing in the entrance. His gaze swept right by me without ever lingering before his attention was caught by one of the butler-looking guys.

He started to chat with the butler, an easy, happy chatter that seemed to put even the uptight butler at ease. The two of them started to move towards a booth that the butler was gesturing at--Burringham’s secretary in tow--when Lucy and I intercepted them.

“Hey there,” I said with an easy grin. “You’re Burringham, right?”

“Jeff Burringham,” he said with a handsome smile. “A pleasure. I didn’t expect to meet anyone that knew me here!” He glanced at the store clerk, one eyebrow raised in an obvious question.

The man cleared his throat. “This is Miss Stray Cat and her companion; she is a local samurai.”

Burringham’s other eyebrow joined the first. “A samurai! That’s wonderful! To think that I shop at the same place as one of our protectors.” He extended a hand my way, and without really thinking I shook. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Stray Cat. Ah, it is Miss, correct? She-slash-her?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Actually, I’m here because you are.”

“Really? I’m hardly that famous, at least not yet. I hope nothing I’ve done has been so abhorrent as to require the intervention of a samurai.”

I shook my head. “No, not what you’ve done. Come on, if you still want to shop or whatever, then that’s fine. I want to chat, not interrogate you or whatever.”

I knew that no matter what that guy would be on edge. It reminded me a bit of the very, very infrequent visits by psychiatrists and social workers of that sort at the orphanage. They never directly questioned the kittens that thought weirdly, they always tried to play that ‘I’m actually your friend’ card before that. This time I was playing the part of the corporate-paid shrink though.

“Certainly, though first I would love to introduce myself to your lovely friend here.” He smiled at Lucy and extended a hand to her. Instead of shaking it though he bowed over it and kissed the air over her knuckles. “You must be Miss Stray Cat’s girlfriend, I presume?”

“Yeah, I’m Lucy,” Lucy said. She had a bit of a flush toher cheeks, but it disappeared almost as soon as it had appeared. “How’d you know? Good augs?”

“No no, augs won’t tell you that kind of thing, not at first glance,” he said. “But body language, that will. You two seem close. After that it was all an educated guess. So! Clothing!”

We all moved over to one of the booths that was nearest. It was wider than some of the others, and without the more concealing walls to the sides. Perfect for a smaller group like ours to chat next to. The butler-clerk faded into the background, as did Burringham’s secretary.

“I’m looking for an outfit for a gala I’m holding tomorrow night. It’s a big affair. Lots of folk from a few industries, some political types, plenty of paparazzi and those sorts. You know the kind of event I’m talking about. Really shouldn’t have put off finding an outfit until this late, but I’ve been run ragged these past few weeks, and when the incursion happened, well, that ruined more than one plan, I think.”

“I can imagine,” I said.

“It’s going to be memorable, I hope.” He stepped up before the wall of the booth and the image of him before us was suddenly wearing a well-tailoured suit. “A bit too plain, don’t you think?”

I looked at the suit, then shrugged. “I guess. Black goes with everything.”

“Including the background, you won’t stand out in that,” Lucy said.

Burringham laughed. “Good point! So, I’ve been chatting for a bit, but that’s hardly fair to you, I imagine your time is important.”

“It’s... somewhat urgent, yeah, but the kind of urgent that’s best considered. If that makes any sense.”

“It makes plenty of sense,” he said. “Miss Lucy, do you think I could do black with a brighter shirt and tie underneath, or should I try something entirely different?”

“Feels like undercompensating,” Lucy said as she eyed the display.

Burringham nodded and with a swipe of his hand the outfit disappeared. “Let’s try some more colour then. What kind of urgent but not situation are you dealing with here?”

I considered where to start for a moment before I jumped into it. “The sewers. I don’t know if it made it to any of the important media feeds, but the entire city’s sewer system is... basically fucked. We have a day or two, I think, before it starts to collapse. Then it’ll probably go all Jenga tower on us.”

“That is somewhat urgent, yes,” Burringham agreed. He frowned at his own image, and I noticed that he was only idly switching tie patterns while he thought. “Alright, so we have an issue on our hands. I’m going to assume that repairing the entire sewage system won’t be all that easy?”

“The people that used to take care of it have probably disbanded,” I said. “I don’t actually know. Maybe they’re still down there working to give us all a bit more time, but I doubt we’re that lucky.”

“I see,” he said. “So, have this incredible problem on your shoulders, and on your quest to solve it... you reach out to me.”

“Yup.”

He nodded. “Because I’m running to be mayor. Which means you’ve spoken to the last mayor.”

“I did. He didn’t seem to give much of a shit. I had killed my share of people that day, so I just left.” I tapped my hand on the hilt of the sword poking from my hip.

“Killing him wouldn’t have helped, I don’t think. I commend you on your restraint.”

“It was pretty close,” I said. “But now you’re running for mayor. I’m curious about your stance on the city not having any water thing.”

Burringham hummed. “I’ll be entirely honest with you, Miss Stray Cat. This is the first I’ve heard of this situation.” He turned towards his secretary. “Did we know about it at all?”

“It was a low-priority situation on our docket for the week. Filed in with a few other infrastructure issues,” the secretary said. “We did receive some news about a couple of samurai in the sewers yesterday, but it wasn’t flagged as overly important. I can also confirm that the mayor spoke to a samurai yesterday, presumably Miss Stray Cat.”

“Interesting,” Burringham said. “How many people are likely to be impacted by this? I know the question is a little callous, but it’s something I need to know.”

“Anyone that has a toilet in their home, or who likes running water,” I said.

Burringham’s frown grew. “And what did the mayor say?”

“Mostly he seemed to think that bottled water sales would go up,” I said.

Burringham crossed his arms. “The election is in four days. A few people have tried to postpone it, myself included, but the mayor and his party insisted that we hold it on its scheduled time anyway. We wanted to push it back because in times of crisis, politics aren’t on people’s minds, and keeping the status quo is often easier than moving people around. But this might change things.”

“Not for the better,” I said. “It’s the poor folk that are going to get fucked over the most.”

“I can imagine, yes.” Burringham swiped his hand before him, and the screen started to play some generic footage of models in nice clothes. “Alright. People need water. I agree with you on that, and besides, it’s such an obviously good stance to take that I’d be an idiot not to. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll be able to do all that much, even if I do slip into the position of mayor. There’s a lot of entrenched groups to move.”

“Like who?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Miss Stray Cat, can I make a proposition?”

“You can try.”

“The gala I’m holding tomorrow. Would you be willing to show up? Bring your beautiful friend as well, of course. If you help me gain the mayor’s seat, then I’ll turn the revamping of the sewage system into my highest priority issue.”

His secretary looked up. “Sir, that might be an unpopular stance to take.”

“No, it won’t,” he said. “Not the moment people start to run out of water. The mayor’s going to try to pin the failure on me, saying I’m sabotaging it to make my cause look better, but with Miss Stray Cat saying otherwise people won’t believe him.”

“I don’t know how keen I am on doing politics,” I said.

Burringham laughed. “Miss Stray Cat, your being here means that you’re already doing politics. Congratulations!”

***