Chapter Eight - Checking Out the Stink

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After coming back home and telling Lucy about my little adventure with Rac and the mercs, I spent the rest of the day... doing very little of import.

I felt a bit bad about not spending time with the Kittens, so I bullied Nose for a while, put Bargain in a headlock when he tried to sell me a cola from my own fridge, and basically annoyed Junior and Katallina as much as I could without pissing them off too much.

We played games, with Daniel kicking everyone’s ass until I let Myalis join in and the AI found herself incapable of doing anything but playing perfectly. Unleashing an AI on a cart-racing game was just unfair for everyone involved.

Before I knew it, it was deep into the night and the sugar and caffeine was wearing off. I took a languid, wasteful shower, then bought some PJs from Myalis, then I bought a second pair for Lucy when I discovered that when the Protectors decided to make something soft, it was disgustingly soft.

We just cuddled, warm and soft and tangled up together in a way that was comforting and familiar until at some point I drifted off while Lucy was murmuring a story about some puppies she’d seen online.

I awoke when Lucy crawled out of my arms. “Need to pee,” she mumbled sleepily, and I’m sure whatever I said in reply was articulate and sensible before I rolled over and tried to sleep some more.

But I couldn’t sleep, especially not after checking the time on my augs, then checking my messages, then checking on some news. I had a tab open on news from Burlington, and it seemed like things weren’t entirely dire over there yet.

Lucy came back, and I snuggled into her, now fully awake but still just scrolling through news and memes and memes of news. Eventually I had to piss too, so I rolled out of bed and started to take care of my morning... almost-afternoon, ablutions.

“So, we’re checking on the sewers today, right?” I asked.

That was the plan, yes. I’ve done some cursory research, and I think there are two points of interest that you should visit.

“Two?” I asked.

Indeed. First, the City of New Montreal Sewage and Maintenance Headquarters. The main bureau. While they are more of an administrative branch, they do have connections to the entire sewer network.

That seemed perfectly reasonable and logical. “What’s the second?” I asked. I discovered some toothbrushes in the bathroom in a little mug, then shrugged and picked the less-used one to brush my teeth with. Teeth care was not much of a priority at the orphanage. I wondered if my nano treatments had taken care of my cavities.

The second location is the Family’s New Montreal Headquarters. The organisation has become the centre of the local Antithesis-combat infrastructure, at least as far as logistics and administration goes. They have expressed concerns over the water and sewage issues in the city and might be able to assist you.

Right, we both wanted to take care of the same issue, so it made sense to pair up with them and get things done. “Is there a samurai on the case?”

All of the local Vanguard are either working on the city’s defences and clearing the surrounding area of remaining pockets of resistance, or they have been relocated to areas in more dire need of Vanguard support. With the exception of yourself, there are only five unoccupied Vanguard in New Montreal.

Shit, things were a little more dire than I’d expected, then. The unoccupied samurai might not even be active ones. Some of them just... retired or whatever. Laid low and minded their own business.

So it was more or less all on me. “What’s Gomorrah up to?”

Social media feeds suggest she’s assisting in light cleanup duty along the walls.

“That sounds like work,” I said.

She’s testing new firebombs on suspected nest sites from a relatively safe distance.

“Ah,” I said. Nevermind then, that wasn’t work, it was pleasure.

I stretched my back out, then started getting dressed. I found Lucy yawning awake and trying in vain to get her hair into some semblance of order. “Morning,” she said.

“Heya,” I replied. “Sleep well?”

“Mhm. I’m never removing these pjs, Cat. Never.” She hugged herself, hands trailing over the fluffy material. “You’re going to have to learn to live with celibacy.”

“I’m sure I can think of a way to work around that,” I said with a grin. “But maybe later? I need to get going. Need to see some people about some pipes.”

Lucy frowned, looking rather confused for a bit before she shrugged. “Okay? Well, be careful, and don’t come back home too late. Or if you do, let me know? I don’t want to worry.”

“Yeah, of course,” I said. I gave her a quick kiss before I started searching for my boots. It only took a minute to find the first one, but the second was hiding well enough that it was a while before I found it.

Since I didn’t know what to expect when heading out, I decided that more was better than less. I tossed on my coat over my skin-tight armour and grabbed both my Trenchmaker and a compact laser pointer... was it a submachine gun or an auto shotgun? I wasn’t sure what the gun was, but it was relatively small and easy to carry on a sling.

I grabbed a chocolate bar from the pantry on the way out, noted that it was probably the healthiest thing there and that we should do something about that, and promptly left without doing anything about it.

My bike was sitting out front, next to my mech. I promised myself that I’d get back to fixing that later on, whenever it was that I came back.

But first... I was burning daylight.

The skies over New Montreal were uncharacteristically clear, with large holes in the cloud cover above bathing parts of the city in bright sunlight. The rest of the cloudy ceiling was, of course, pouring a deluge of water onto the city.

I tugged up the lapels of my coat and pulled on my helmet, making sure that my ears were properly tucked into their slots so that it wouldn’t pull. Then I was off.

“Maintenance HQ first?” I asked as I circled our building.

Certainly. I think it might be best to get a good look at the condition of things before requesting assistance.

“Requesting? I don’t feel like begging,” I said.

Purchase a larger gun and demand it, then.

I snorted. “Ah, yeah, demanding assistance. Help me or I’ll shoot you is always super convincing, I’ll bet.”

It has been demonstrated to work before. It’s almost a universal rule among intelligent beings evolved from predators that might makes right.

I nodded along. My augs had the destination locked in, and fortunately, while the headquarters were basically on ground level, they weren’t in the undercity. “Do you know a lot of species that are... uh, is it sapient or sentient?” I asked. “Well, whatever. I mean smart and also non-predator-based.”

There are several thousand on record, many of them still live and thrive within the greater sphere of the Protectorate. Many find the idea of violence abhorrent. Often this is a great detriment when the Antithesis inevitably appear at their metaphorical doorstep.

“Damn, yeah, I can imagine,” I said.

It’s not always bad. Some species, especially those well-versed in agriculture and who have a solid technological and industrial base are able to hold out on their own for prolonged periods. I can get you a few documentaries on the subject.

“Heh, file that in for later. Maybe if we want to do movie night or something.” I wasn’t super interested in the going-ons of some unknown species halfway across the galaxy from me, but not being interested didn’t mean I wasn’t a little curious.

I refocused on my flying. I didn’t need to crash into some car speeding by while distracted. I suspected that the training whatsit that I’d taken to allow me to pilot my mech was also helping me with my bike, because even without turning on autopiloting I had a much better... feel for how to manoeuvre through the city.

Which was why I punched the throttle to the limit and pressed myself against the seat, breaking every law in the books as I headed out on a quest to find some trouble and fix it to death.