Chapter Eighteen - Home
“You want to buy a house? In this market? Are you delusional?”
-- Someone, 2023
***
“A favour,” I repeated. “What is it? You need dating help?”
“Dating help?” Delilah shook her head. “No, why would I ask you for dating advice?”
Well, that was rude. “Hey, why wouldn’t you ask me for dating advice? Lucy and I have been steady for years. You think it was easy to convince her to date me?”
Delilah blinked, then looked away across the city. “Okay, I hadn’t thought of that. I guess I just figured you two somehow skipped the dating phase entirely.”
“Well, we are both very horny,” I admitted.
Delilah sighed. “I don’t want to hear it, please. I just know Lucy’s putting ideas in Franny’s head right now.”
I laughed, then swept some hair out of my face. I needed a haircut one of these days. Also, my hair was humid as fuck. It wasn’t even raining yet the city managed to make it feel like it was. “So, what’s this favour?” I asked.
“It’s a little awkward,” she said.
“I was already down to helping you with dating stuff, so I think we’re past the ‘a little awkward’ phase.”
Delilah poked me in the short ribs with a knuckle. “Don’t be an ass,” she said. “I’ve got... domestic problems.”
“With Franny?”
“No, not with Franny, she’s... nevermind my relationship, it’s complicated, but not in a bad way. It’s the rest that’s a problem.”
“You mean with where you’re living?” I walked over to one of the legs of the mech then sat down on it. The cat-like mech was sitting like a sphinx at the moment, so there was plenty of room to use it as a bench. A rather uncomfortable one, but still.
Delilah looked around for a place to sit, then hopped backwards onto the head of my repair drone. The poor thing just sat there, frozen. “It’s the nuns,” she said.
“The... oh, right, you live in a nunhouse.”
“It’s not called a nunhouse,” Delilah said. “It’s a convent. And an orphanage and school and a few other things all rolled into one. I didn’t mind staying in the dorms a few months ago, before... all of this.” She gestured vaguely at the mecha and the house and the two of us.
I took it to mean she was talking about all the samurai stuff. She became one a bit before me.
“But now it’s getting to be a bit much. The head of the convent is insisting that I get their rooms, the others are either fawning over me or tip-toeing around and... and Franny and I can’t get a private moment anywhere. I don’t mind the attention, and it’s nice to be treated well, but I grew up with these women.”
“Wait, are you an orphan? I don’t recall that.”
“Me? No, my parents are... I don’t really want to talk about them, to be honest. They’d send me to the convent for nine months out of the year, so I feel better there than at home. But it’s still getting to be a bit much.”
“So, you want me to put the fear of Lucifer in the nuns so that they leave you alone?”
Delilah snorted. “No. God no. They’d like you. As weird as that is to say. You’re like the embodiment of the ideal samurai, and they practically worship that idea.”
I blinked. I was the what? There was no way that I was the ideal anything. Hell, Gomorrah was better at this job than I was. She had the whole calm and collected thing going. Or maybe someone like Deus Ex or Longbow or... well, not Grasshopper, she was cool but also clearly insane.
“You need a place to stay, then?” I asked, because I really didn’t feel like opening that can of worms before dinner.
“Exactly,” she said. “I was planning on asking you what you were doing with the rest of the space in your building.”
“Huh? Wait, you mean this building?” I tapped the ground with a foot.
“Yes, obviously,” she said.
“You know, I only own the top floor, right? I mean, we added to it, obviously, but that’s all I own. If you want to live below, then... I guess, buy a floor.”
“You don’t own the entire building?” Gomorrah asked. “Really? Aren’t you worried that someone might move in below and cause trouble?”
“They’d have to be really loud to bother me. And any more... violent trouble can be handled with violence in turn.”
Delilah shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to live with neighbours I don’t trust, not if I invested this much into a home. But I suppose no one will try anything. You did just shoot the mayor on TV. It sends a message.”
“Damn right,” I said. “So if you want to move in, go ahead. I don’t know who owns which floors, but I’m sure they’d sell to you. You can be scary that way.”
“Why not buy the entire building?”
“What’s the point, I live here, not down there. I guess if I wanted more space or something. I might do the floor right under this level. It’d be nice to have some storage space, and I’m pretty sure it’s not being used at all.”
Delilah smiled. “Atyacus has a list of owners and has sent a few feelers out,” she said. “Thanks, Catherine. You really don’t mind us being neighbours?”
“There’s no window in my bedroom, so it’s not like you’ll hear anything kinky, and I’d rather have you nearby than someone I don’t know,” I said. “Well... there’s the fire risk.”
“I’m very careful about fire,” Delilah replied.
“When will you be moving over?” I asked.
She shrugged. “As soon as I have a place. It might take a day or two. It’s late, so I imagine anyone receiving my request might take a while to process it.”
“If they try to cheat you on the price, let me know. Apparently I’m scary. Also, let me know when you’re actually moving, I can give you a hand.”
“I don’t have that much to move,” she said.
“Good, less work for me, but I still expect free pizza out of it.” I grinned, then glanced at the front door. “Speaking of, think supper’s ready?”
We stood and made our way back inside while chatting about homes and such. Delilah didn’t have any house-related catalogues, but she did have a lot more points on hand than I did. She suggested pooling our resources a little to sabotage-proof the rest of the tower, which wasn’t a terrible idea. I’d placed a few turrets out and around the top floors already, to keep things safe, but with two samurai in the same building I expected that our security would need to climb a bit.
Lucy was leaving the kitchen just as we got closer. “Oh, cool, I was about to go fetch you. Come on, food’s ready!”
Franny was just finishing up setting the table with bowls and utensils, four sets of them. “Are the kittens eating with us?”
“And making a mess?” Lucy asked. “Nah, I made enough for them, but they can eat out of paper bowls. Also, we need a cleaning bot.”
“A cleaning bot?” I asked.
“Yeah, like that repair drone you have. There’s stains on the stove that I can’t get off, and I’ll bet every last credit I have that the kittens will be turning this place into a dump before the month’s out.”
That.. was actually a fair point. “I’ll look into it,” I said. In the meantime, we’d just need to clean things like they did way back in the day; by hiring someone poorer than us to do it.
Lucy brought the pot over to the table, then started to ladle food into our bowls. It was a brown gooey stuff with chunks of meat and... beans? “Is this chilli?” I asked.
“Oh, hey, I didn’t mess it up so bad that it’s unrecognisable,” Lucy said.
“It smells nice,” I said.
“It’s real meat!” Lucy cheered. “Or as real as what I could make with the printer, in any case.”
“So... real meat that didn’t come from an animal?” I asked.
Lucy shrugged. In her defence, it was probably better than the vat-grown shit we could order online.
With everyone served, Lucy returned the pot to the kitchen, then called the kittens to get served. She very quickly handed over the job to Daniel though and returned to us.
“I’m assuming you don’t do prayer before eating,” Delilah said.
“I don’t do praying in general,” I said.
She shrugged, then took a spoonful. “Hmm, this is good,” she said.
I took a spoonful, shoved it in my mouth, and chewed for a bit before my eyes started to water and my mouth started to burn. “Lucy, why is this so hot?” I asked.
Lucy frowned. “Was it a tablespoon of pepper, or a cup?” she muttered.
***
“Was it a tablespoon of pepper, or a cup?”
Haha reminds me of a time I made a carrot cake. Excellent recipe. It called for a teaspoon of baking soda and a tablespoon of baking powder. I reversed that... RIP carrot cake.
When my sister had moved out and was gonna bake for the first time, she decided to double the recipe. So she doubled the flour.... And then she used that same measurement and added that all the other ingredients. So like.... A tablespoon of something, instead became like 20x the amount.
I did a tablespoon if cayenne pepper in a quiche that only asked for a teaspoon. That turned out pretty nice.
“You want to buy a house? In this market? Are you delusional?”
-- Someone, 2023
Story just got a bit too real for a second there.
I agree...😮💨
I can absolutely see someone who is just learning to cook pulling off a mistake like that. And considering what that implies about how hot the meal is, it seems like those nuns that raised Delilah and Franny really like the hellfire if Delilah didn't need to build up her heat resistance to enjoy the meal, even if she naturally likes spicy foods.
lol I think a cup is a lot more than a table spoon (Lucy forgot cats don't handle hot things well)
And Gomorrah was perfectly fine with hellfire hot chili.
And of course Delilah likes it spicy.
Delilah shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to live with neighbours I don’t trust, not if I invested this much into a home. But I suppose no one will try anything. You did just shoot the mayor on TV. It sends a message.”
I kind of want this to become a running gag. That from now on every person Cat meets at some point tell her that she shot the Mayor on television.
To the point that Cat begins to wonder what all these people have with her shooting a mayor on life television. And it is brought up all the time to remind everyone that Cat at some point did shoot that mayor on television. And that it means that she now has much better odds with other politicians and organizations. So she should go and fix that. Because she did shoot that mayor on television.
In case it was not clear, I really like that Cat shot that mayor on television! It should be mentioned often to get as much dopamine out of that therapeutic action, of shooting the mayor on television.
Didn't she need an extra floor for her clinic?
Delilah snorted. “No. God no. They’d like you. As weird as that is to say. You’re like the embodiment of the ideal samurai, and they practically worship that idea.”
No Catherine, you arent the only one that finds that unbelievable.
Lucy frowned. “Was it a tablespoon of pepper, or a cup?” she muttered.
Delilah probably enjoys that level of heat XD
I got into warhammer and I need the money for more models that I won't paint!
welcome to the hole. i spent a few years down the 40k rabbit hole (and a couple thousand dollars) until i got out when they started completely re-doing the factions entirely.
Why do I feel the building MC's in will become a home for her crew of samurai or least friends wise samurai. Think of totem tower found in tribal cultures, but each layer is a samurai themed. I call it new trend called samurai totems. We're a group of samurai buying tower floors this way each compounds their individual specializations into more profound defense. The leader of samurai group gets tallest floor. But has many types. If samurai wants more room to a floor they will have upper floors move up to gain new room. Their is building in City skylines DLC that does something similar when needs more room it has movable section that moves up and down buildings more floors when needed.
Though master grade samurai will buy an entire tower. Forming what's called samurai hives. Were master grade buy whole towers near each other and have bridge between each tower creating. Minimum space between master towers is 100 meters to give.
Ooh maybe combine the two ideas master grade samurai but entire towers building hie cities using vertically and standard system but still customizable. They sell it rent a floor to samurai usually noobs or ones under same faction. Each tower has 0 to 100 floors for renting and top 100th floor and ground 0 floor. Is masters floor and reception floor respectively both run by the master. Each floor is 100 meters tall. With subfloor between each floor for master samurai defenses and utilities. Tower has one kilometer diameter. Almost like hive City but exclusive to samurai without bureaucracy crap of non samurai. Each samurai tower is on average 5 kilometers way from each tower. Between each tower the surface is reinforced with self repairing material to prevent breaches and 300 meters thick tower. With only one exit in middle between each tower this is to help funnel the hive models. Creating tower defense style strategy. Also each samurai tower goes deep into earth till each tower meets up naturally we're another reinforced layer is made that's kilomiters thick this it to prevent deeper infiltration and hive creation. Idea is slowly expanding this samurai hive City till continent wide maybe even planet wide design only expanded when new samurai is born so slow and quality
Not the favour I was expecting there lol
And it seems dinner wasn't the flavour cat was expecting haha
Thanks for the chapter! 💜