“Surprise!” 

I watched her expression as her eyes flicked back and forth across the card. Her mouth opened and closed a couple times and her brow knit in confusion as she read and reread my handwriting.

“You want me… to change how I look?” she spoke slowly though I could tell ice was seeping into her tone.

“No! Nonono. No. I mean you can if you want-” fire flashed in her eyes as I choked on my words. “But that’s not what it’s for! You can change how I look. If you wanted to. Or something.”

I had been so sure it would be a fun thing, who wouldn’t want to play around with a different appearance for a weekend?

“You want me? To change you? For me?” her eyes seemed to burn into me as I chose my next words as carefully as I could.

“Exactly!”

Her frown deepened.

“I mean not to change me as a person. It’s not like- I didn’t mean… it would just be for fun! For a weekend!”

I shut my mouth as she folded her arms. At this point I was going to backpedal off a cliff if I kept talking. She reconsidered the card for a horribly drawn out moment. 

“You know how I feel about people being treated like projects…”

My heart sank like a rock. And her eyes continued to bore into me as she seemed to consider me in a different light.

“Right, and this isn’t like that. I’m not asking you to complete me or like… it’s just for a weekend. If you want. I can return it. Ill just return it this was a stupid idea.”

“What did you want me to do with this?” she flipped the card to the back almost casually.

“The business is just getting popular, you know? I thought it would be a fun couples thing to let you like… pick out something silly to change me into? Cuz like I know you are super into like supergirl and stuff and you could make me look like one of those celebrities or…” My stomach tightened in anxiety but some of the concern left her expression.

“A couple’s thing huh?” she twirled the card as I bounced my leg. “A few silly ideas do come to mind… I think there’s a way I could do this that would work out.” she caught my eye all of a sudden. “It’ll be for fun right? Because i’m not going to play games where I turn you into someone else and let you wonder if I wish I was with someone else instead.”

I was already nodding as she spoke and I felt a flood of relief as she typed the coupon code into her phone. 

I bit my lip as she snatched the invoice out of the small insulated box. She had been aloof about her plans ever since I gave her the card and no matter how I asked she continued to deflect. Two little purple vials sat nestled in paper shavings and gel packs labeled "part 1" and "part 2". 

“Are you excited?” her smile seemed devilish as she grabbed vial 1 and traded it for the box.

I managed a thin smile as I fumbled with the cork. “Excited is one word for it, yeah.” 

She caught my hesitation as usual.

“A surprise for a surprise seems fair to me don’t you think dear?” her grin was bordering on predatory now as I glowered down at the thin fluid. “But… I mean… it doesn't need to be a total surprise if…”

I shook my head. “Nah, fair’s fair. I trust you anyways.” I tried not to have any doubts as she beamed at me. Careful not to spill, I raised the vial to my lips, I looked away to take a sip, afraid I'd choke on the potion if I didn't steel myself. But all said and done it wasn’t as bad as I feared. I was half prepared to drink burnt hair for this to work but the actual flavor was more like drinking grape juice from a cup that had a little bit of soap left in it. The fact that it was still chilled helped too. I exaggerated a sigh of enjoyment for her benefit as I drained the flask, checking to make sure I hadn't missed a drop before stoppering it and dropping it in the box. 

“So now are you gonna tell me what you chose?”

“Oh I think you’ll know soon enough.”

I rubbed my neck as she continued to stare at me.

“Though… I don't think it would hurt to recommend you get out of any clothes you care too much about.”

I felt a sharp pain in my stomach as she finished speaking and concern flashed across her face as I hugged my midsection. As soon as the pain started though it was replaced by a spreading warmth. I massaged the area anyways as I contemplated her warning.

“I’ll go find some gym shorts-”

“I think you should take off your clothes here actually.” I felt a blush work its way into my cheeks as I recognized her tone. “Right now if you would.”

The warm feeling continued to spread, seeming to radiate from my bones as I worked off my boots and pushed my jeans down. I could have sworn I wore the loose ones today but I peeled them off my thighs as quickly as I could anyways. My shirt also gave me trouble as it seemed to cling to my arms and chest as I tugged at it. Usually I would just pull from the collar over my head and the rest followed but it didn’t seem to work right now. Whatever changes she had planned wouldn't permit that. I struggled with the cloth in vain for a moment before I changed tactics. I felt foolish for the insecurity but a while back, one time when I was alone, I had read an animation tutorial on how women take off their shirts vs how men do due to the fit of things and skeletal structure. My blush seemed to burn independent of the other heat going on as I crossed my arms over my stomach, peeling up the shirt and lifting it over my head in a somewhat smooth and, in my opinion, distinctly feminine motion. 

She raised an eyebrow at me as I turned the shirt right side out again before dropping it on top of my jeans beside me. With that out of the way I had a better view of the beginnings of the change. My body hair seemed to be thinning, no. falling out. It was kinda gross watching it slough off like snow and I rubbed my arms in resignation trying to speed up the process. I grimaced at the mess, wiping everything I could reach off as though I was covered in cobwebs. I wondered for a moment if she didn’t like the hair or if I should have been shaving my body before but I pushed the idea from my mind. This was just for fun and not supposed to be indicative of what she wants me to be. We discussed that. Still. As far as my own preferences went I couldn’t deny that the feeling of my skin without hair was far preferable to even the softest peach fuzz I had before. 

As I looked around for any hair I might have missed I began to notice a strange change to my coloration. In some places my skin seemed to pale but in others it just lost color. I quickly determined it wasn't something about the lighting but rather I became more and more certain I was turning a navy sort of grey, even as I watched the blue began to border on purple and then a grey-red contrasted by white. My stomach and breasts seemed to be the palest while my back and tail seemed to be darker. 

My girlfriend giggled as I did a double take, simultaneously cupping my chest as I spun in a half circle to look at my tail. The protrusion grew before my eyes, thick and weighty as it sprouted from the base of my spine. Semi-rigid fins appeared from the sides as I watched but my attention was drawn away from the spectacle as my boxers began to cut into my hips and my breasts grew heavier in my arms. 

Fuck they felt good.

I only spared a hand to push my boxers off for one second before I returned to holding them. I didn’t even care about my girlfriend’s manic laughter, what did she expect anyways? Any guy would love this. I bit my lip as I pinched a nipple, squeaking in surprise as I tasted blood. I felt my lips and teeth as gently as I could manage, finding the small cut I had made in my lip as well as the more notable sharpening of my teeth into points. I pressed on one and it pinched but I was happy to note it wasnt razor sharp as I had feared. I made a note that I probably shouldn’t bite anything very hard for a while until I had a better sense of it.

Continuing my exploration my hands went to my crotch. I brushed away the last of the hair and stepped out of my boxers to really inspect the change. Hell. fucking. Yeah. I bent over forward, nearly losing my balance as I tried to get a better look before digging into my jeans pocket for my phone. In no time I had the camera up and I contorted to get a good look at my new genitalia.

“And I thought you’d hate that part.” my girlfriend mused, shaking me from my thoughts. She was resting her head on her chin, bemused as I dropped the phone back on top of my clothes.

I shrugged and swung my hips a bit, giggling drunkenly as my tail knocked my pile of clothes onto the ground. “I dunno why. This is pretty fucking cool I think.”  

“Mhmm?” as she stood my eyes widened. I was looking up to her now. And I wasn't sitting. Uh oh.

I almost bit my lip again as she caught my chin and turned my head side to side.

“I hope the hair on your head doesn’t fall out too now.” she laughed as my eyes widened in horror. “I’m only teasing, it wont take away your gorgeous locks, don't worry your pretty little head.”

I did my best to squint up at her in reproach, losing the battle for a pouting demeanor as she pulled my bottom lip down with her thumb. “Those look fun though.”

I batted her hand away, baring my teeth in the widest smile I could “Isn’t there a saying? Don’t look a baby shark in the teeth or something?”

I squinted as she shook her head, whipping my face lightly with her hair.

“No, and if there is, we can burn that bridge when we get to it.” I felt myself grinning like a fool as she pushed my hair back, brushing my ear as she looked at the gills on my neck. I squirmed, trapping her hand between my shoulder and neck as the foreign sensation made me clam up.

“That feels weeeeeeird” I groaned as she wiggled her fingers out and I shook my head to forget the sensation.

She only nodded as she trailed her hand down to my arms. Despite being shorter and generally thinner it felt like I had put on a little muscle. I flexed as she squeezed my arm. It was her turn to bite her lip as she stared at the now visible muscle groups in action.

“Got a thing for buff ladies?” I struck a goofy body builder pose as she laughed at my antics.

“Honey we both watched Legend of Korra. You know what I like in a girl.”

I shrugged, dropping my arms. “Sure, sure. Didn’t expect you to make me into one for some reason but I aint complaining.”

“As you shouldn’t, seeing as it’s your gift to me rather than the other way around… in fact if you groped yourself any harder i’d suspect it WAS the other way around.”

I tried to act casual but I could tell my guilty smile was visible from orbit. “I don’t see why i'm not allowed to be happy with your choices.”

“Oh you’re allowed alright. In fact it makes this next part much easier.”

I didn’t have time to ask for clarification before she had stepped forward, lifting me bodily into her arms. The room spun for a moment as she caught up my tail, settling my legs around her hips as she carried me like an overgrown pet to our bedroom. I knew better than to resist her embrace but I still found myself pushing against her as the buttons of her jacket felt like ice against my chest. As quickly as the trip had started though it was over with me dropped backwards onto the bed. She brushed a hand along my inner thigh as she stood up beside the bed, gazing down at me hungrily as she threw the jacket off her shoulders.

“What are ya fukken gay?” I teased, lifting my arms above my head as I enjoyed the show.

“Shhhhhh stop erasing Bisexuals.” she batted away my foot from where I attempted to brush her thigh before kicking off her jeans and crawling on top of me.

My breath caught as she lay down against me and I found myself a little disoriented as she captured my lips in hers. It wasn’t really supposed to be new was it? She’d thrown me on the bed before, crawled on top of me too but this time my body seemed to actually fit against hers. Sure I felt a connection with her whenever we held hands and kissed but this felt like a full body kiss.

However, the puzzle of the newness of the situation dissipated like smoke as she wove her fingers into mine above my head. So high above my head too, far higher than she had ever reached before. I wondered when the bed had gotten longer before that puzzle also seemed to slip out of my mind. Most thoughts seemed to slip from my mind in fact. All thoughts except her hands, particularly the one she had worked between my legs. I decided that hand would be my favorite.

“If you start singing baby shark, I can, should, must, and promise I WILL spank your ass raw.” She punctuated the threat with the firm press of her hand and I provided all the resistance of butter to a hot knife as she slid a single finger to the second knuckle into me.

“Fit-ah! Fitting for you to have something stu-” I broke off with a choked cry as she pressed further, simultaneously squeezing the hands above my head until they ached. “Stuck in your head- FUCKING hell. With your fingers stuck in…” I trailed off into a breathless gasp, I couldn't speak and I felt the breath rattle my chest in an unstoppable moan as she fixed her lips below my jaw.

I couldn’t tell if it was her hips moving or mine. Or perhaps both of ours were working together. Something inside me wound up tighter and tighter with every thrust of her finger. The tighter it got the harder it became to breathe until I had no breath to talk. I felt the air rush over my teeth more than I felt it fill my lungs as I grew dizzy but still I pushed and squeezed and wound myself up harder and faster until I felt something began to break over. She seemed to feel it too as my breathing lost it’s rhythm the rocking of my hips became unproductive. She curled her fingers inside me and I came unwound violently and passionately in her arms.

Fiery heat roared through my body under my skin. I could feel the wrinkles in the sheets below me, the hairs on my scalp at risk of being pulled out, the bones in my hands clamped together in hers, the very fiber of my being charged to a flashpoint and every speck of the inferno was focused on her. Her body on mine, the feeling of her hair on my neck, her voice indistinct in my ears and almost as an afterthought her fingers inside me. Brushing at the untapped core of my being as though she had lifted the lid off my heart and dipped herself in for a snack.

Words became too much work. She screamed and bit my collar bone as my nails dug into her back and I screamed back, the sound cutting off into an inaudible howl as she put all the weight of her hips behind her hand.

Too much. Much too much sensation washed through me. Everything that was pain was bright just like everything that was pleasure. Blinding and rushing through my body just like the stars across my vision. Someone somewhere was crying, and someone else was making gentle shushing noises.

Sticky fingers brushed my cheeks, my face damp with someones tears as the love of my life looked down at me. She looked flushed. Was she angry? Her eyes seemed so full of love. Someone was still crying though, choking sobs that shook my whole body. My hands were aching, my eyes stung with tears and my chest felt full. Bursting with love.

“Shh, shh shhh.”

I pressed into her hand where she held it next to my face. it felt cooler than it had any right to be and I swallowed the last of my sobs as the stars faded from my vision.

“I thought I broke you there for a second” she smiled despite her concern as I tried to take a deep breath. Her hair billowed around her neck from the effort.

“I think you did.” I sighed as she wove her fingers into my hair. I flinched as she repositioned, her leg brushing my overstimulated core as she lay down beside me.

“You’ve never been so vocal before.” she whispered and winced as my hand rested against the fresh scratches on her back. “Or physical for that matter.”

“I’ve never been astrally projected from my body by an orgasm either.”

She rolled her eyes as I wiped my face with my free hand.

“First time for everything I suppose.”

I brought my aching legs back together, half pulling them to my chest beside me before draping my knees over her legs. “Is that a normal thing for girls? I dont think ive come so close to passing out since I ran into a fence in 3rd grade and woke up screaming.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sex isnt supposed to be like brain trauma. But we have a whole weekend to see if pressing your buttons breaks anything permanently.”

I laughed in a shuddering mirthless gasp, too exhausted to even blush as the prospect of more to come.

“Was it everything you hoped it would be?” she continued, playing with my hair as I hummed tunelessly.

“I dunno. I guess? I think I dreamed of it being less stars and more flowers or something.”

“Oh, well duh. You get the flowers with oral. And stars with fingers. You should have specified up front.” she pulled one of my hands into hers, weaving our fingers together as I giggled at her sass.

“Whoopsies my bad. Yes, next time I would like the flowers with a side of chocolate and ice cream.” I glanced at the talon-like claws my fingers had become. “Or perhaps sushi.”

She wrinkled her nose at me. “I’m starting to think you’re just hungry for real food rather than sexual metaphors because all of that sounds nasty.” 

On cue, my stomach rumbled under our clasped hands, setting off another slightly pained giggle fit.

“But seriously babe, are you gonna be okay? You scared me a bit there.” she turned my face to meet her eye, seeming to stare into my soul as doubts crept into the back of my mind.

“Haha. yeah i'm fine right now. All you gotta worry about is if I get addicted to that or something.”

My tail whapped against the wall for the umpteenth time and I let my head fall into my hands. I wanted to disappear and our food hadn't even come out yet.

“Couldn’t we have ordered to-go?” I half hissed under my breath as my girlfriend beamed across the table at me.

“And miss this? Never. Have you seen yourself blush? Delectable.”

I pulled the hood lower over my face, before reaching back and tugging the back hem to cover a couple more inches of my tail. Sure the online potion shop was popular, incredibly so, but that didn’t mean a shark girl was any less conspicuous.

My tail whapped the wall again as she pulled my hands from my face, cradling them in hers. Were sharks even supposed to wag their tails? Wasn’t my heart thundering enough to make up for it? 

She didn’t seem to mind the attention at all, maybe she couldn’t be bothered to notice anything past her complete fixation on me. I couldn’t so much as breathe without her gasping about how cute I was. And sure, yeah, I'm cute or whatever but being under a microscope wasn’t fun.

“We haven’t even gone swimming yet!”

She earned a fresh groan, just in time for the sushi boat to arrive. I wasted no time snatching a salmon nigiri as she continued her teasing.

“You didn’t seriously think you’d get through the weekend without a dip in the ocean did you? At least not with that body.” she rested her head on a palm watching me chew as if me eating had become her new favorite spectacle.

“Honestly.” I snorted, pausing to swallow “I don’t know when you think I would have had time to think any thoughts at all with the attention you’ve been giving me.”

She rolled her eyes, and took her first piece of sushi, she probably realized that since I'm on my third she’d have to start now if she wanted any.

“I thought you hated salmon.”

I took my turn to roll my eyes, dropping another piece in my mouth. “Sharks eat fish right? Besides this stuff tastes alright now so it’s whatever. I’m hungry okay?”

She nodded. Pushing a piece of ginger around with her chopsticks as she considered something. 

“So you’re so committed to the RP that you’ll eat fish? Thats cute.”

“I was thinking of it as more of a ‘when in Rome’ sort of thing. Like how I'm okay with wearing girl clothes since I'm a girl for now.”

She stopped chewing for a second and I thought I saw a strange look pass her face but as soon as it came it was gone. 

“Sure sweetie.”

After a moment she pulled out her phone and flicked idly as we took turns on the remaining pieces and negotiated the terms of the swim date.

“So i’ll probably just cut a hole in some old denim shorts or something to swim in. I don't really want to go shopping and I dont think your outfits will fit.” 

She was shaking her head before I finished though. “Nonsense. The chafing would be horrible. We’ll reuse the swimsuit for the next time you want to do this anyways.”

Her grin could scarcely be wider as it took me a moment for the logic to sink in. “Wait. I mean. Well…”

She cackled. Holding her stomach as she laughed at my expense. “Oh my GAWD you are addicted aren’t you? You do want to do this again already!”

I couldn’t help but look around in alarm as the other customers began to stare again. “Geeze please keep it down?” I hissed as she made a pitiful effort to contain herself. I opened and shut my mouth a few times as I worked on a retort but every time I screened my response for lies the response fell apart. I did like it. I didnt even hate it when she teased me about it.

“I don’t like drawing lots of attention…” I muttered as she wiped tears and did her best impression of a serious and repentant nod.

“Okay babe, i’m sorry im so good at teasing you it breaks your lil mind sometimes.”

She covered her mouth as I growled and the plates rattled on the table as I thumped my head against it.

“No. absolutely not. Nope.” I shot down the third bikini in a row as I followed my girlfriend around the swimshop.

“If you don’t pick something you’re swimming naked.” she made the empty threat again, this time loud enough for the cashier to hear.

I grit my teeth as she held up a one-piece suit “and I WILL pick something as soon as it contains more material than my pocket lint.” I snatched the offered suit from her hands. “I'll try this one.”

“Perfect!” she clapped her hands and shooed me to the changing room as I got a closer look at the suit. Suddenly it occurred to me that she never expected me to accept the bikinis but I never would have accepted this to start.

“You’re a stinker, you know that?” I rolled my eyes as she closed the changing room door behind us and dragged my hoodie over my head.

“Mhmm” she sounded bright as ever as she methodically separated me from my clothes. I held her shoulder for balance as she guided me into the suit and I fidgeted a bit to get everything situated as she worked.

“Is this… fun for you still?” my voice came out nearly inaudible as I mused aloud. Seeing her nod I pressed further. “Even with me being a stick in the mud and all that?”

She paused, the top half of the swimsuit lay limp over my thighs as she looked at me. “Is this not fun for you?”

I fiddled with the straps of the suit. “I dunno. I don't think I'd call it fun? It's interesting but it's a lot you know? Like all the mental and biological changes are pretty heavy? And I still like it. I really, really do but I dunno.” I pulled the straps up, leaning forward to situate my boobs in the built in bra-ish thing. “I guess i'm just surprised it's still fun for you to see me like this. All out of sorts and whatnot. I can’t even tell how much of this is me and how much is from the potion…”

She bit her lip, staring at my chest for a long moment as though staring into space. After a while she seemed to realize where she was staring and met my eye. “I'm sorry it's confusing but I really appreciate you continuing to stick with it? I mean don't stick with it on my account but… I just like that we’re having these talks and stuff still… Also you are seriously cute like this and I burst with joy every time I see that toothy lil smile- that one! That's the smile. Fucking love that.”

I rolled my eyes and fussed with the hem of the suit, letting her flit about and check the fit while she had her fun. Unsurprisingly, tails are kinda difficult to accommodate with a normal swimsuit in a remotely flattering way. 

“SHARK!” 

The scream of a child made me nearly jump out of my skin for the third time, not because I even remotely believed there was danger but because of how incoherently stupid it was to hear the same joke for the third time when I hadn’t gotten hip deep into the ocean yet. I glanced sideways at my girlfriend.

“Can I bite him? I really want to bite that kid.” 

She managed half a weary smile in return. “You don’t have shark instincts. That’s just the human irritation.”

“A human bite it is.” I'd half turned to chase the runt but was swiftly stopped by firm arms around my waist, she trapped my tail between her legs as she rocked a bit with the waves and stared out to sea.

“Okay so I didn’t think that particular part through as well as I could have.” I felt her lean down to kiss my temple and shrugged apathetically.

“Sea world might let me in.” 

“You know they wouldn’t and you aren’t an animal intended for captivity and entertainment”

“She says, holding me captive in her arms as kids point and laugh.” I stuck out my tongue as I turned in her arms to look up at her and she played at biting it.

“Stinker. Anyways, do you wanna build a sand castle?”

I wiggled my tail out from between her knees, trudging through the water to the shore. “Yeah might as well.”

I followed her lead, nodding as she rambled about ideal locations and engineering strategies until she found a section of the beach that had fewer tourists.

I plopped down near the surf, letting the waves just reach the tip of my tail as they surged in. I occasionally tried to flick some sprinkles at my girlfriend when they did, much to our mutual amusement.

Despite my fooling we worked well as a team. I dug up buckets and packed them down as best I could and she carefully placed and unmoulded the corners of the tower. We took turns with the shovel to dig out the moat and by the time the surf had reached my toes the castle was beginning to take shape.

PIFFsssss

Sand showered on our heads as the debris of our castle settled. A volleyball rolled away as my shock was replaced with fury. However I had scarcely dug in my claws to the sand to give pursuit before I was tackled sideways.

“Let them go.” She struggled to hold my arms down as I tried to figure out how to escape without hurting her.

I thrashed for a good few seconds, giving her hold on me a thorough test before seeing my prey disappear into the crowd. I slumped in the sand, looking at the upside down beachfront as my head rested in the remains of the moat we built together.

“That was the least cash money thing yet.” I grumbled, my words came out oddly distorted because of my position. I lifted my head, bumping foreheads with hers as she surprised me with a kiss.

“Im sorry. But I didn't schedule time to go to jail for maiming.”

“It’s not called maiming when all that’s left is chum.” I smiled despite myself as she sat up and shook some sand out of her hair.

“You take this role playing thing waaaay too seriously.”

I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time today. “I told you it's just my new biology.” I let her pull me to sit up and she climbed off my lap for a second to let me situate my tail before plopping down again.

“Okay, now that I have a captive audience I gotta lay some truth on you.” she took my hands in hers and looked me the eye. “There isn't any biology happening. I googled it. I triple checked. I called a guy at the company while you were in the bathroom. Your body isn't flooded with hormones, your nervous system hasn't been super clocked or whatever, it's just you in a different shape. Rearranged.”

“But-” I looked from one eye to the other, searching for the slightest indication of a prank. I remembered the euphoria I had felt touching my body for the first time and I had assumed it was just chemicals. How could I explain the sensations that ripped through me if it wasn’t the potion? How could innocent and mild curiosity possibly account for mind melting euphoria?

“Yeah. that means exactly what you think it does.”

Oh no. no no no no. The things I had done. I sang. I danced. I blushed and flirted and poured my heart out and I pretended every sincere yearning I dragged up from the abyss was fake. I started living my heart-felt dreams because I opened up. Like a fucking book and she read it all, she'd read me cover to cover now. 

My throat felt like it was closing up. “I can explain-” she brushed sand off my cheeks, her smile sad as I fumbled my words.

“You’re a girl… aren’t you?”

My mouth hung open and I searched for words fruitlessly. I had nothing. I might as well be naked under her gaze for all I could hide now.

“Okay let me phrase it this way, are you a girl right now?”

I hesitated. The answer seemed obvious but so complicated. I’m not a girl, I wasn’t born one. People can just be a girl though… I could be a girl if I wanted. If I only wanted to be a girl then I would just be one right? I wish I wanted to be a girl. Really wanted it, not in this “think about it all the time” way but a “I’m going to do something” way. 

“Maybe. I guess. A little.”

“Okay that’s a start. Consider this, If you might be a girl right now. You might always have been a girl.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt my shoulders grow tight as she held my face. I felt my world crumbling a bit and like the sand castle I slumped forward into her embrace. It hurt. All the things I’d held back for so long had floated right up to the surface and it felt like she was wading through my life cracking the tops off all of my jars at once. My memories of hating puberty, my envy of girls, the loathing I directed at trans women for indulging in what I refused myself. The seal was broken and it felt like hope had escaped with the rest and my girlfriend was playing pandora. A painful wail built in my stomach, bursting out through my teeth as I pulled myself to her chest. It hurt. It hurt much more now than before. She rocked me side to side shushing me as my shuddering breaths shook us both.

“Let it out baby girl” she murmured and I hiccupped sourly.

“What am I gonna do? What the fuck am I gonna do?”

“Don't worry about that right now, i’m here. Shhhhh.”

She rocked me like that for a while, eventually the sounds of the waves were drowning out my shuddering breaths and the cold seawater splashed over my legs into her back. The sandcastle was in ruins. I felt like a ruin. So I just sat. held down by her as I waited for the miserable pain to lift off my shoulders.

“Let's go home” she whispered and I let her lead me back to the car. The drive was quiet. There was a lot to think about.

“Is it okay… if i’m a girl?”

She snorted. A half sob of a laugh as she took a quick look at me before returning her eyes to the road, “Yes dear. It's okay if you’re a girl.”

Silence hung as a small smile crept into my face. “Are you absolutely sure the potion didn’t make me like sushi?”

Her laughter was music and I laughed with her as we picked up the pieces. Hope was out of the jar but it wasn’t out of my life anymore.