Chapter 22 : Inclusion
The sight of the threesome sent a complicated mix of emotions through Katrin. She first struggled to process the scene, her mouth agape as she dropped one of her scrolls. She quickly pressed herself against a nearby tree and continued to peek into the clearing six meters away. Her chest felt somewhat heavy as her heart pounded, adrenaline flooding her body. She’d never seen such a thing in person, let alone experienced it. As she peeked around the edge of her hiding spot her mind was now racing as a strange feeling came over her.
Katrin clenched her fist, bringing it up to her chest as she watched Abeni lapping up Agni’s honey pot greedily. Purscha’s zeal -- the way she freely caressed and tasted Agni’s body was making her…
“Is this...am I jealous?” Katrin posed the question to herself in disbelief. She quickly dismissed the thought, even as she felt the anger rising within her at the thought of others touching Agni so carelessly.
“And she’s allowing it!” Katrin thought to herself. Her eyes flashed angrily for a moment as she watched, but she couldn’t help the fact that her eyes were now wandering. Purscha’s open cloak displayed her slim, petite build. Her perky tits jiggled ever so slightly as she worked over Agni, her legs spread so that Agni could play between her thighs as well.
Katrin had seen the glow of Agni’s eyes before but never directed at her. This realization bought about a host of unrealized thoughts.
“Mine. She’s mine. Stop.”
A voice coming from the center of her chest demanded, yet she couldn’t do or say anything. It wasn’t really her place, that was the logic she used to keep herself from reacting badly. Thus she snuck away after watching for a few moments more, returning to the campsite. Katrin was lost in thought, so much so that she didn’t even notice Kitai watching her return. She laid down and using her hand as a pillow tried to go back to sleep but her thoughts were working in overdrive.
Katrin felt the familiar pangs of agonizing exclusion slowly threatening to swallow her up as tears came to her eyes. This is why she didn’t notice Kitai getting up from her spot and laying down next to her, wrapping her arm around Katrin’s waist.
“Huh?” Katrin whispered softly as a large tear rolled down her cheek.
“It’s okay.” Kitai said, pulling Katrin closer.
“What do you mean?” Katrin said, trying to play off her emotions. In response to this Kitai grabbed her shoulder and gently tugged, prompting Katrin to roll over and face her. Their eyes locked and Kitai’s gaze was one that made Katrin feel somewhat ashamed. Empathy, understanding.
“Did you know?” Katrin asked as she sniffled slightly.
“Yes.” Kitai answered, her hand reaching out to wipe Katrin’s cheek. Then after several more moments she placed her hand on Katrin’s face gently and leaned in to give her a kiss. Katrin was caught completely unaware and thus her body went rigid as Kitai’s soft lips pressed against hers. The kiss was deeper than Katrin expected, passionate even as Kitai’s tongue began to explore the taste of Katrin’s lips.
“I’m not her. And I’m sure she didn’t mean to inspire these feelings but...for the moment…” Kitai said hopefully as she trailed her hand slowly down Katrin’s face. Her fingertips were so soft and gentle that Katrin could feel her heartbeat growing more fierce, her body slowly becoming warm.
“I--” Katrin began, but Kitai placed a fingertip over her lips, pursing her mouth shut as she leaned in for another kiss. The kiss this time showed no sign of ceasing as Kitai’s hands became more eager, caressing Katrin’s massive melons through her shirt. Slowly, surely Katrin was pulled into an unfamiliar world of lust where her feelings were being turned on their ear. Rather than the sadness of being excluded, she was now reveling in the sensation of someone devoting all of their attention on her--and her body.
“Hmph.” Whispered Purscha as she watched the two from behind a nearby tree. She noticed Katrin watching almost instantly, as well as watching her leave.
“Some people just don’t get it… sometimes..you just have to do what you feel..” Purscha said as she smiled to herself and returned to the lakeside clearing.
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Agni had lost count of how many times she’d been made to cum. All she knew is that her leveling prompts continued to roll in.
[You’ve reached level 2.]
[You’ve reached level 3.]
[You’ve reached level 4.]
[You’ve reached level 5.]
She’d never experienced a feeling this joyous as a man. It was as if her entire body, every fiber and cell worked towards a joyous purpose -- one that lifted her soul from her body. She shaked, moaned, screamed, clenched Abeni’s head as her sensations of lust rose and fell with each orgasm.
Even Abeni began to wonder exactly when Agni would get enough, but there was no conceivable answer in sight. At some point Purscha pushed Abeni out of the way, determined to get her fill of Agni’s honey pot as well. Unlike Abeni, whose tongue was strong and rough, Purscha gently lapped at Agni’s body. This contrasting sensation created a slow build with explosive results.
Agni was so loud that Abeni straddled her to ride her face to muffle her. She underestimated Agni’s lust factor. Her Succulust was now raging wildly, out of control thus her strength had grown substantially. Agni clenched her arms around Abeni’s hips and returned the favor by licking the juicy wet essence from her dripping lips. Agni then took to sucking on her lips long and hard, right over the clitoral hood. The result was that Abeni was now finding it difficult to contain her whimpers of excitement.
The eroticism continued for the next forty minutes or so. Eventually Agni reached her limit, completely drained of her energy from cumming so many times. The trio of women lay nude in the dim dusk light, Agni falling asleep again from the ordeal.
Back in the campsite clearing Kitai’s “comforting” of Katrin had also reached an orgasmic conclusion. The two slept in each other’s arms, both for warmth and comfort. Once more, into peaceful sleep Agni drifted. All in all she’d only managed to get about seven hours of sleep in the last 30-35 hours, thus she felt much overdue for rest.
Unfortunately...restful sleep was not to be had.
“Agni. Agni. Agni!” Katrin’s voice awoke Agni with a start, largely due to the urgency in Katrin’s tone.
“Wake up. Agni, wake up, it's an emergency. They took our stuff!”
Can't say i'm surprised Abeni and her cohorts would steal their stuff. She definitely seemed like that sort of bit*h
what I'm surprised about is that Purscha would go along with it. especially because I pegged her to be smart, and it's never smart to piss off someone who can mind control you. what are they gonna do if mc isn't the forgiving type and they wind up meeting again?
Raped and robbed.
LOL. It was consensual though.
@DreamOfRen was it? Felt more like her skills kicking in.
@DreamOfRen still raped, it was not consensual as someone not in control of their actions can't give consent, not to mention that the MC didn't even initiate it and was forced into it. By your logic you can just drug someone then rape them then its consensual.
@ChickenSoup Nah, it more like if target at some point stopped resisting and somewhat participating in the act(purely instinctivly\body reaction) - it's consensual by author logic.
@ChickenSoup Nah. It wasn't rape.
@DreamOfRen It was rape. Whether or not the people involved 'liked it' doesn't matter. it's the fact that no consent was given at the beginning of things that makes it rape.
Forcing yourself on someone, even if they end up 'liking it' later on during the act is rape.
The fact that they ended up 'liking it' only mitigates the emotional and mental harm it would have done to them. it doesn't change the fact that it was rape.
That being said. Aside from the rapey stuff, this story has been interesting so far. If the rapey stuff stops happening, this story will improve quite a bit.
@DreamOfRen She got tricked and pushed down and said stop or get off me 3 times, her hands were being held by 2 combat classes, how is this not rape..
@WeezyF7 Honestly, that's a good question. That i don't recall ever seeing a good answer to, even in the comment chains that Dreams of Ren deleted.
That being said, i know that Dreams of Ren's stance on this all is a hard 'this wasn't rape' and a hard 'the writer's word is law in regards to a story'.
@DreamOfRen i still say you should add the 'dubious consent' tag to your story at the very least. If you want to stop seeing comments like the one above this.
@DreamOfRen Quite true
@DreamOfRen Even if it genuinely wasn't rape, it definitely came off as rape-y for a large number of readers. Assuming it wasn't rape, that may mean the part where they did the deed was poorly communicated in your writing.
@Luftwaffles27 Screen capping this just in case it gets deleted.
@Luftwaffles27 Not at all. It wasn't poorly communicated. An entire chapter prefacing Agni's ability to opt out isn't specifically telling the reader.
But then again, leaving some things to imagination are necessary.
@Amias_1990 Yes, plz capture all the comments that mention r*pe and add them to your collection of things Ren stole from you.
You did get an answer, you just didn't like the one you got.
1) Agni could compel herself free if she so desired. I spent a whole chapter previous illustrating this much.
2) If she truly wanted to stop the encounter -- she would have. She didn't, because she got into it. The arguement that she was "Taken advantage of because of her emotions" is a moot point. She was experiencing erratic lust for several chapters beforehand. No one made mention of it until the Abeni encounter, despite the fact that Agni attacked Abeni first. Abeni also objected to being pounced on. However, in Abeni's case her main gripe was that she prefers to be in control -- not that it was unwanted.
3) There have been better instances of forced activity that no one mentioned because --reasons. Why not?
4) For reasons which I won't reveal, related to development of the fiction and characters -- I said so.
I'm not obligated to spoil my story to sate curiosity -- just take my word for it. There are good reasons behind Abeni's behavior.
@DreamOfRen 1: Which chapter was that again? My chromebook broke down recently, and i've also been on a binge of Yandere stories as of late (some of which include Rape in their tags, although i haven't reached the point involving it in them yet) and such a chapter, if it occured slips my mind.
I do have memory issues tho, so i admit that that could be a possible reason as to why i don't remember.
2: I can see part of your point on this one. The erratic lust makes certain scenarios less.. questionable. I may have to reread this chapter and the one before it to re-evaluate my stance on them. But... i still stand by my view that there have been multiple occasions in this story that classify as 'dubious consent' at the very least.
Additionally, the robbery is a clear indication that Abeni took advantage of Agni in SOME way at the very least.
3:I'm pretty sure i mentioned at least one of those instances (and other things like the bullying in a certain chapter) in other comments of mine. Unfortunately i have no way of finding every comment i've made.
So. is it that No one brought them up, or that you deleted all of the comments that did?
4: Given how you handle criticism on this matter (having deleted comments and such. Censorship of criticism is never the right call) and seem to have refused to heed my past advice to add the 'Dubious Consent' tag to this story. I'm not sure if the eventual in story explanations you are hinting at happening will show 'good reason' for what Abeni is doing.
And in my opinion, there is no 'good reason' for theft. Only potential 'mitigating circumstances'. That being said, i'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt here and wait things out.
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5 (New point): I think the fact that you keep getting people who think that certain scenes were rape (whether those thoughts are justified or not) and that so few people in comparision seem to be siding with your stance on this is an indicator that you might need to take a more introspective look at things.
Maybe ask yourself why this keeps on happening? And why so many people seem to have missed or not gotten the 'hints' and 'proof' you placed in the story about these things? If this many people are commenting about it, it has to he something deeper than just 'people being idiots' or 'people being too sensitive' and all.
If this many people are seeing things that you didn't intend for them to see and interpreting things in a way you never intended (and even highly disagree with) then there has to be some level of miscommunication in the way the story was written itself. However small or big that may be.
I say this with no intent of insulting you. Honestly, drama in the comment sections aside, i've really enjoyed the parts of this story that i've read. But I honestly think that your writing could get even better if you came to understand the deeper issues behind this whole situation, and learned how to better communicate things in the story in the way that you intended them to come across.
Your writing is entertaining, but there are areas you can improve in. (No one is perfect at anything, though. and i'm confident that if you put in the effort, you could find a way to better communicate things in your story in a way that doesn't give the readers an undesired impression of things)
The only issue here is that where the author draws the line doesn't match where some readers draw the line. And then there's pointless arguing over the semantics of it.
But eh, who cares.
There's no issue that it's in the story. The story's fine as is.
Tho if there really is a disconnect between what the author intended and how the reader interprets it. Well. Uh. Dunno how to make the text crystal clear and explicit.
@Amias_1990 That's a lot to unpack.
I'm...really not obligated to explain my choices any further, especially when I've done so dozens of times to various people at this point.
Without exception they just believe what they *want* rather than what *is*.
They try to justify it with definitions of what "rape" actually is. But at the core of the problem, they just don't like Abeni as a character. That's fine, but that's not where the issue lies. If you're going to say it was rape, that's false.
The difference between your opinion and my own is that, I wrote the chapter and know how it was *meant* to be interpreted. The fun thing about any entertainment is that people interpret things differently.
So yes, you can interpret it as rape if that's what you have to do to process it. But there really is no ambiguity. I'm explaining to you, and everyone else how Agni *actually* took it. Room for discussion on the chapter, sure -- but room for discussion about whether it's rape? No. Because it wasn't and Agni didn't see or feel it to be as such. Furthermore, I know that for a fact, because she's my character and I wrote the scene. I realize that may be an abrasive thought to some, to be presented with the official word that crushes their ideas -- but that's just what it is. It's what happened. *shrug*.
On the subject of deleting messages:
There's one of me and hundreds of readers. It's counter productive to devote precious time and energy re-explaining points exact to my first, second and third explanations. Nothing has changed, literally. I've told people from the beginning that it wasn't rape, and why. I've even told them that it's not rape because it's not a rape scene. It doesn't matter, because they strongly feel a certain way about it. That doesn't make them right though. I delete messages because it's simply not up for debate at this point and anything further is a waste of time. If you're going to double down on your feelings about it fine, but reality contradicts that.
The only other option is to ignore people who mention this entirely. But, I know some people are. The second I do that they just keep escalating to get a response (or inboxing me, etc). Which leaves option 1, just remove them altogether. Problem solved!
Of course, this could all be rectified if you/they just stopped trying to argue with me and accept what I'm saying as well........
@Amias_1990
As far as my writing, this entire fiction is raw, written in one sitting per chapter usually with little to no revision (most times I don't even use a spell or grammar checker). I think it's pretty obvious that my writing isn't perfect or that it could be revamped in various places. But then again, I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm not even trying to improve. I'm just working on something I find entertaining, and I hope others enjoy it as well. The improvement will come from doing, in this instance improving my ability to write better in single takes.
I've ghost written a few light novels for others & novels under other pen names for myself. I'm aware of the process of book revision and editing. I'm also aware that most writers, due to insecurities would never dare post a single chapter unrevised or unedited publicly. Most authors I know often times spend weeks or months agonizing over their books dozens of times until everything is perfect.
When you say things like that, I sort of wonder if you actually know how much effort is required to be a "great" writer as opposed to an "acceptable" one. I think it's pretty easy to criticize sometimes if you are lacking the experience and knowledge behind a craft.
My point in saying this is, you don't really have an accurate judgement as to what my real skillset or writing capability is like by reading this -- so mentioning it seems a bit pointless. Even my most recent light novel was written in under a week (60,000 words , condensed to 42,000). That rate is insane if you ask any other authors, who regularly spend months to years on their projects.
In short --you can only judge it based on what you read here. The main reason I don't accept grammar, literary or other critiques are due to those facts. This is simply how I prefer to work. It allows me to create content that's beneficial to me and readers. I'm seeming to notice a trend where people just *assume* you're ignorant if you don't adhere to how *they* would run the show. That's a very unfortunate (and kind of selfish) way of thinking.
For something to be "acceptable" actually, you'd need to go over the entire work at least 5-6 times. 1 time for grammar check. 1 time for spelling errors. 1 time to rephrase, rewrite or present certain things in a better way. 1 time loud read. 1-2 more times to catch any final errors. That's incredibly time consuming, in fact it's one of the most time consuming aspects of writing.
I'll get around to revamping and reposting all these chapters in due time. Eventually. I won't be rushed on that front nor as to how I tell my stories. I've pretty much got the entire outline thought out at this point and I'm happy with the current pace.
@DreamOfRen Author you'r wrong in the head? Where was it consensual?
@DreamOfRen Hey its a story better its a fantasy story people who can't make a différence between fiction and real are idiots or psychopathe who believes everything done is alright since a STORY of Fiction told them it was alright tough y could be wrong im not smart after all x)
@DreamOfRen I know this is an old chapter but I wanted to add my opinion to this.
When Agni wend down on Abeni I think because of Albeni's character and attitude it made people accept it more easily.
When Abeni and Purshca trapped Agni it did feel a bit more rapey from how it happened, Agni was led away by Purscha to help Abeni go fight, during the scene she was held down by someone stronger than her, while she could have used her compel skill either she didn't because she didn't feel she needed to or she didn't think of it, it is a new skill and she hasn't had it for that long or used it that much.
In my opinion Agni was shocked by the situation and fought it but probably would have been into it if she would have been approached regularly, Agni's response to it was “Abeni… I’m serious. I’m not in the mood..” , which sounds like she might be in the mood at a different time or situation, “If you want us to stop..then make us..” Purscha said" Purscha even reminded Agni about it, Agni wasn't lost to het lust at this point if she was really against it she could have stopped it.
I think Abeni probably wanted it done like this because of Agni going down on her the other night and making her submit, the author has already mentioned that Abeni has a class focused on domination on the battlefield but it seems to affect her personality so this was probably more than revenge, seems more like a way to regain her dom position in her own mind.
I do think that Purscha going along with it was a little out of character, her character isn't really defined yet but so far she has stopped Abeni from picking on Agni more than once, Agni commented on Purscha's boots being traditional rogue attire so i wonder if Purscha gets exp for stealing otherwise the stealing is a low blow.
@seekingsatisfaction That's the author's, weak, justification that it's not rape because she had the ability to make them stop at some point. This is like saying it's not rape if you face f*** someone and they don't bite you because they had the ability to make it stop and didn't do anything. She was attacked and she was sexually assaulted and raped with her explicitly telling them to stop multiple times. That sh*t is rape.
Then author justifies it when she gets all drugged up on lust, that's not in her control, and enjoys it and author says enjoying it means it's not rape.
The MC definitely started raping the other girl because she told her no. I'm sure less people said things because she was a horrible person but it doesn't change that this story is getting super rapey super fast.
@Cypresslb I agree, I like to take the authors opinion on it since they wrote it so they should know what they were trying to convey but it could just be poorly written scenes to get their vision to the reader.