As soon as I let out those words, I noticed a slight knit in his brows and nose bridge. Creating a depth within his skin, it wasn’t a look of anger or rage. It was more like….. He was star-stricken.

 

“Where did you know that name? Who informed you that?” That caught me by wonder, his voice wasn’t as still as usual. 

 

“So you do recognize them!” I let out a gasp of cackles.

 

“Why didn’t you answer me back then? When I asked you about that certain group? Moreover, why did you sound so startled, dad?” I countered back

 

“I never told you that name, Alphonse. So that’s the sole reason you cross the borders in order to find out about it,”

 

“You haven’t answered my question. Odd for a man who always provided answers to issues he got from anyone who questioned him,” I cut him off, drawing my brows together suspiciously at him.

 

“Why did you always avoid talking about that Mafia Family, dad? Does it have something to do with ours? Or something you want to leave behind?”

 

Dad was speechless, staggered by the assumptions I gave him. I knew there was something behind all of it.

 

“Enough! That’s none of your business, Alphonse. You shouldn’t stick your nose up where it doesn’t belong,” It was all he could reply, making my blood boil more to why he was being so secretive about it.

 

“Regarding how much we can make by having that intel, dad. Their pieces of information are invaluable, they are like animals who have gone extinct. People from the underground would have traded everything just to get their hands for it!” 

 

“Then let me ask you this. If your intentions are only focused on collecting those intels, why kill one of the Caporeigmes? And why from THAT Family?”

 

This time, he caught me dumb.

 

“I had planned to only do that.... which was how it was supposed to go,” I explained

 

“Did you bring along any of your crewmen?” Dad asked 

 

“No, sir. It’s me all alone, you know I don’t like getting them involved in personal businesses,” I turned my gaze away from him and stared down at the bedsheet taking the shape of straightened legs, a more robust shape on my left leg.

 

“Go on,” Dad replied with a calm voice while he crossed his arms. 

 

Here goes nothing...

 

“Yeah, I was sneaking into their territory that night. Cause I heard it from the winds of the underground community that the Flammia Family has secret information about the disappearance of the Mississipi Family’s Godfather. It might be because they are involved with it,” 

 

“Disappearance? Was that the only information you want to know about that Family?” Dad added, still crossing his arms as he listened to my story.

 

“Not sure if that’s the only thing I want, if there’s more, I would’ve taken it. Which is why I planned to improvise on the idea, I need to hear anything that is about them. Even if it was just a small chunk of information, I wouldn’t let it slip away. I was trailing behind some of their men at an alleyway, waiting for the chance to eavesdrop on their conversation,” I explained, remembering the sensation I felt that night, the tension as I sneak away from their sight.

 

“And lucky me, they were just talking about it over while they smoke some shit. I did manage to get some intel from eavesdropping, but I made one fatal mistake. Maybe you already grasped the other reason I didn’t answer your call?” I turned my pupils towards him, not moving my head whatsoever as I waited for him to answer.

 

“You forgot to turn your phone off, didn’t you?” He replied as he unraveled his arms to the sides, not sounding so surprised.

 

“Exactly, knew you would figure it out once I told you my account,” As expected of my quick-witted pops, Lenna did inherit his quick observant features alright.

 

”And that’s how you got discovered by them, right?” He added, knowing the outcome of that matter.

 

“Yeah…. And just then when I turned around. Next thing I knew, I was being blocked by that goddamn Caporeigme. Gun aimed at my head, while there are heavy steps following up behind my back.  Leaving them to know who I am is a threat both to me and our Family. So I did the only thing to ensure my identity a secret-”

 

“By shooting him dead in the head? That wasn’t a solutio-”

 

“I WAS IN A PANIC, OKAY?! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT THAT EXACT MOMENT! BEING IN A TIGHT SITUATION IS RIGID FOR ME, DAD!” I cut him off short, knowing he would lecture me endlessly if I didn’t interfere.

 

“It’s either I annihilate the only one who saw my face or let those people recognize me and declare a turf-war between us. It was too late to make rational decisions knowing in a matter of seconds that I could either run away alive or end up being shot in the head first.” 

 

The whole situation had no easy way out for me, it was like a double-edged sword. You either got back alive or dead. Of course, there would be something following up the moment I let my guard down.

 

“Obviously, either way, thinking about it again….. I should have known better not to do that….. As you said, I shouldn’t sneak my ass up in some intel just because you won’t answer my questions….” I lowered down my voice, images of what happened last night kept playing over and over in my head. 

 

Especially Lenna’s face…..

 

“Now it’s my fault Lenna got involved in this fucked up mess. And marriage…. MARRIAGE?! She willingly threw her life just like that for my sake?! Even if I’m better dead to atone for it…. why does she have to be so stubborn?” I shakingly gripped the bedsheets with guilt, it hurts to imagine what she has to go through….

 

An unsettling silence enveloped the two of us, it was frightening…. No answers, no shouts, nothing… it was like I’m once again trapped in my own dark void… Swirling down any of my sanity until there’s nothing left but “him” to appear again.

 

“I fucked it all up… I fucked up Lenny’s life….. I fucked this whole family up…. I should have been dead… I-I….. I can’t fix this…. N-not now…. Nor ever…. I’m a disappointment and mistake, aren’t I?” I let out a ghastly chuckle in the end, covering my face with my palms, and gripped the sides of my hair with quivering hands.

 

“So do whatever you want with me, pops… banning me from this family is the most sensible punishment… Or you could just terminate me right here…. And if that’s so…. so be it… I deserve it...” I muttered hopelessly with my voice shaking, letting dad choose what happens to me next. 

 

Smiling bittersweetly as I thought of Lenny’s cute smile in my head. My precious lil sis, ruined just because of me…. It’s all my fault she has to face the consequences…. I slowly released my grasp from my hair, stuck between my fingers are strands of my Red-Auburn hair.

 

“Just… one thing, dad….. Don’t let Lenny see me getting punished…” Feeling a sharp pain in my heart as tears began to pool in my eyes.

 

“I don’t want her last memoir of me is by seeing her dumb big brother getting shot.….” I added pleadingly, wishing that Lenny isn’t eavesdropping on our conversation outside of the door.

 

“So go on… Do it….”

 

For several seconds, I didn’t get any reply or responses from dad. I was too ashamed to lift up my head to see his face. I’m done for….

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“Is that all you have to say?” A rather raspy voice called out, I quietly nodded in return to reply.

 

I shut my eyes tight as my body trembled in fear of what’s to come. A course of coldness flowed from the top of my head down to my fingertips. I can almost hear my heartbeat beating unrhythmically, jumping out of my chest if it could. I clenched my teeth when I heard a tap on the floor close to my right.

 

And what I got after that…. was unexpected

 

I expected to be held by the throat or a gun to my head… Or maybe thrown a bag filled with clothes for me to live with.

 

But instead, I felt a palm placing itself lightly on top of my head. I shot my eyes wide open, teardrops starting to fall unto the back of my fist and sheets.

 

“You’re my son, my kin, my flesh and blood... I would never do such things to my Family,” His words strung the silver linings of my heart.

 

As I slowly looked up, all that I could see was a small crook on the edge of his lips on his face. Emerald eyes looking down on me with sympathy filling them all.

 

“Even if you have messed up…. Everyone makes grave mistakes in their lives. Including ones that endangers people they value. In addition, I have sworn to myself and your mother, Alphonse...” He paused for a moment as he averted his gaze somewhere near my legs and looked back at me in the eyes

 

“Never will I ever abandon or disown my own family… especially my children,” He started stroking my hair with a soothing touch.

 

“Although I do admit that you’re quite reckless, dirty-mouthed, menacing, and even gruesome in many ways. Even more than myself back from the old days,” I looked down again letting out a low “oh”.

 

“....There was not a time when I have ever thought that you were a disappointment or a mistake… You are a blessing, both to me and your mother… You always prioritized your crew first rather than yourself…. You have admiration and honor for them all, lower or higher, older or younger, you entrusted your life in their hands... Something an ideal leader ought to have,” 

 

An abrupt thought clicked on my mind, those five!!

 

I lifted my head instantly towards him, “W-wait, pops! About my crew!! How are they?! Are they safe? Are they okay?” My heart thumped frantically as images of them ran through my head

 

“They are now at the infirmary. All thanks to you, none of them are fatally injured,” Dad whispered with sadness in his tone.

 

My heart leaped high with immeasurable relief, “Oh thank God! They’re fine… That’s great.. really great….” I spoke up with whispers of rejoice, making dad briefly chuckle.

 

“Sacrificing yourself for others' for their sake of sanctuary is an invaluable trait. Something that you get from building the bonds you made with them. It was never easy to maintain it, let alone creating your trust within it,” That statement made me lightly chuckle

 

“How would you know about that, pops?” I asked, smiling to myself quivering as teardrops landed on the sheets.

 

“Experience, I have many of them. And it was not entirely your fault that Lenna’s life is… disrupted,” Dad added

 

“I know that you both love each other very much as siblings. And I know… that if one of you is to be endangered, the other will do anything to save the other. Lenna chose to save your life, because she couldn’t bear it if she were to see you, her own brother getting executed in front of her own eyes. Not after how that bastard demonstrated an execution while she was standing there nervously. Saying to her face with a casual tone that it would happen to you if she declines,” 

 

I could see the disturbance in his face, as well as balling his right fist with discomfort. I could feel the same, how dare he dirtied Lenny’s mind with murder…. In front of her naive eyes…. I would never forgive him….

 

“However, setting that aside, she still chose your life over hers. Would she finally be free if the life she saved last night… asked for a death sentence in return? What would she feel about that?” Dad mentioned lamentably, his eyes contained unspoken sorrow within them.

 

Dad’s not completely wrong, I cared about Lenny so much… I would sacrifice myself for her. And she would do the same for me… Right, why should I even be thinking of this right now? What matters is that Lenny’s not hurt, but to be engaged to that Grim Reaper…

 

Adrie… 

 

“I know, I won’t mention it again…. But what about Adrie?” I replied with a crestfallen voice, biting down at my lip, slightly sensing some metallic taste on my tongue

 

“Adrian...” Dad didn’t say anything after he mumbled out my best buddy’s name.

 

“He’s the one who’s supposed to be marrying her…. And he lost his chance all because of me… I-I…. I….” The words I wanted to let out from the deep were set aside when my tears intensified.

 

Instead of words, streams of salty liquids covered beneath my eyes, soaking my cheeks, lips, and chin wet. Bending my body down tremblingly, the pressure of orbiting guilt began to drag my soul down. 

 

I gripped the sheets discomfortly with my hands, thinking of how much Adrian would be disappointed in myself. To ruin his long time dream to achieve Lenna’s heart. To be able to become husband and wife in the future….

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“Woah, so you really, REALLY like Lenna, Adrie?!” I innocently yelped as Adrian quickly shut my mouth with his palms.

 

His whole face was turning red and fumes could come out from his ears.

 

“SHHH!! Not so loud, Alphonse!” I was being shushed by this 10-year-old boy who's a year younger than me.

 

“Just!.. Keep this a secret between us, alright? I don’t want her to know….” Adrie looked like he was on the verge of crying his ass off. He let go of my mouth as freed me from light suffocation 

 

“And whatcha gonna do about it?” I asked

 

“Huh? What do you mean?” He asked while his left hand hold on to his right arm.

 

“I mean if you have a lovey-dovey crush on someone. You gotta tell them someday right?” I shrugged off my shoulders at him.

 

“AND NOT TO MENTION MY OWN LIL SIS!!” I yelled out loud before I got stomped on the foot by him.

 

“O-OW!!”

 

“I already told you to keep it low!” He perturbedly whispered to me

 

“Kay, okay… But you’re gonna confess to her one day right? Why not now?”

 

“It’s just….. Thinking about it again… Maybe I will….. Some other time-”

 

“Some other time?! Adrie, you’re about to fucking leave abroad tomorrow! Only God knows when the heck you’re gonna be back! Or even be able to come back here!! C’mon, Imma take you to Lenny right now!!” I snatched his wrist and started to drag him down through my room.

 

Just before I reached the door, I felt a heavier weight on my right hand. When I turned to look, I saw Adrian pulling back his body with his eyes sealed close. Grimacing with a little huff of distress to get himself away from my grip.

 

“A-Alphonse! Stop it! I don’t want to disturb her! I-it’s already night time,” Adrie struggled as he tried to release my hand from his wrist

 

“Don’t be such a wuss, Adrie. Whether you wake her up or not, she has to hear what you feel for her!”

 

“I SAID STOP IT, ALPHONSE!!” Adrian grabbed my ear with his free hand and pulled it back until I let out a scream.

 

“OW! OW! OW! CUT IT OUT! CUT IT OUT, ADRIE!” I whined, hissing while trying to free myself from his grip. For a timid boy, his grip is something else.

 

“YOU LET GO FIRST!!!” Adrian shyly yelped, tightening his grip on my ear.

 

"NO YOU LET GO FIRST, ADRIE!!"

 

Both of us unexpectedly released our grasp at the same time. Making us both stumble back and fall backwards on our butts. And there we were, two kiddos fighting like typical kids. Sitting down on the floor while I rubbed my butt, trying to hold the pain seeping through it.

 

“I… I don’t want to tell her now, Alphonse… because…. Because...” As he stuttered, I looked at him and saw the glimpse of maturity within his glassy Violet eyes.

 

“I-I WANT TO PROOF TO LENNA THAT I’M RELIABLE TO HER! THE SUITABLE MAN TO STAY BY HER SIDE,” Adrie confessed his true intentions right there, leaving me speechless as I held on to my bottom.

 

“A-and… in order to do that… I need to grow up… Study more… Learn about the outside world… become stronger physically and mentally… That’s why…. I don’t want to tell her now… I’m not fit for her yet….” Adrie shook his head, then lifted his head with his brows knitted together.

 

He looked at me with an emblazing glare, something that he rarely does for a soft boy like him. 

 

“But I assure you, once I get back, I’m going to change! For Lenny! I won’t be a cripple anymore! I swear to you, Alphonse...” He balled his right fist and slammed it against the top left side of his chest.

 

“I WILL TREAT HER THE BEST I COULD IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR PERMISSION! SO PLEASE, LET ME TRY TO COURT HER WHEN THE TIME COMES!” He let out a voice as strong as a Lion’s howl, filled with determination and honesty.

 

And from that moment, his perseverance won my approval, even though we’re still kids… I can see it in his eyes that he’s serious about it, no doubts. And he really did change, looks, fashion, manner, intellect... And in height. 

 

From a once timid and shy boy, he became a literal prince of a small kingdom. I mean… what the fuck… he even got the gorgeous elegant looks, the first time I saw him back here… He literally overcame all the previous boys that I had been with… I couldn't say that I haven't thought of an idea about asking him out...

 

But more importantly, he kept his commitment back then. Although he and Lenny are still in the friendzone, he still treated her like the queen she deserves to be. And in return, Lenna seems to be the closest to Adrie when it comes to terms of secrecy. Seeing them side by side made me feel everlasting comfort. To think that the only reason they couldn’t be together now is because of my feeble-minded self…

 

I was too foolish…. I doubt he would ever forgive me… All the time he had spent to improve himself for Lenna would be a loss by now… And…. To pound his frail heart like that so easily… I’m the one to blame...

 

Adrian… It’s better if you don’t see my face ever again… 

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Back to the night before the Wedding

I can feel Adrian’s gaze seeping itself through me, those profound Violet pupils are going nowhere else beside me. I stared down anxiously down at the sphere of ice in the half-empty glass of Whiskey in my right hand. Swirling it as if I was trying to give my focus to something else than what I just said earlier.

 

The guilty effect I have involving Adrie was weighing my shoulders down to the earth as I gripped the glass dreadfully.

 

“I suggest you go back to your home, Adrie. You have nothing to do with me here, not after what I had done. Just let me be, I won’t bother you by having you take me back to the mansion” I muttered indifferently, guilt still taking place deep in my body.

 

“Now go, move your ass along from here, Adrie. I won’t tell you twice,” I slightly lifted the glass in his direction as I’m going to take another sip of it.

 

I was about to put my lips on the edge of the ice-chilled glass when something took hold of my wrist. Holding it in place firmly, preventing the heavenly liquor to reach my mouth. Why can’t I just let my sorrow out in peace? It’s always Kalem who’s out there sniffing me out from this place. And not to mention involve the person who’s the least I wanna see at the moment.

 

I slackly and frustratedly looked over to WHO that veiny hand belongs to, hanging from the loose ends of his dark green trench coat. 

 

“Now you’re fairly being ridiculous, Alphonse...” A mutter reached my ear, not expecting him to reply with such a compassionate tone.

 

He guided my wrist as if I was led into some kind of daydream to the glass put down, and I simply followed his hand’s serenade. Leaving a light thud on the bottom of the glass as it lands on top of the cork-textured coaster on the booth.

 

“Let’s… chatter a bit before we go,” Adrian added with a whisper, letting go of my wrist carefully.

 

“I’m not going anywhere if you’re going to continue being unreasonable like this with me. Either we go back together or I make sure you’re not alone when this place closes its doors upon you,” He insisted, leaning his arms on the booth as he looked away from me.

 

“You don’t have to wait for me, I’m not worth it,” I shook my head, unhanding the glass as I took a glance at the side of his face.

 

“I insist… Alphonse” Adrie pressured his voice.

 

“Still, why? I’m the one who has made a disastrous mistake… Don’t you even feel the slightest resentment against me? ” 

 

“No, I don’t….” Adrian replied almost immediately

 

“In fact, the moment when that Blonde Caporeigme was asked to escort Lenna to the San Angela harbors...” He took a pause as I anticipated his answer in return.

 

Adrian deliberately gave me a deep sigh out of his lips.

 

“I already knew the outcome….”

 

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Surprise! Surprise! I decided to upload this chapter now cause I have time to spare. Since the pre-made script has been far longer than the latest chapter, I decided that I should upload a chapter. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Read and fav my chapters for future ones! Thanks for reading!