Play this to get the feels, thanksies!!

Also

Lenna POV

“I hope you enjoy your stay along with your husband, My Lady. Have a splendid night,” The hotel hostess personally bowed at the door, closing the room door quietly as I stood there bamboozled by what had happened.

It all went so quick, at least I get to say my goodbyes to dad and the others from our family. Including Adrian… God why was it so difficult to get him out of my mind today? Al couldn’t let his eyes off me when dad pulled him back earlier, that goes the same for Kalem too. 

After the reception had ended, I was escorted by some of the hotel maids to this room. While for Alvar, he was called in by the Godfather and was excused… and I thought he was going to be considerate to at least walk with me to our room. Although, now that I think about it more, it’s better if he wasn’t the one escorting me.

I was standing there wearing my thin tank top and cotton shorts. Twisting the edges of my combed long hair, wondering how this night is supposed to go down. I began to pace myself throughout the spacious yet luxurious hotel room with riches transmitting from every piece of furniture and objects in it. 

Then my legs took my tired body to the master bedroom, which is connected from the main living room by a door archway. Sneaking in to wander my eyes around the velvet sheets of the bed as petals of roses were scattered on top of it. Resting my palm against the archway’s smooth wooden sides.

Feeling somewhat disturbing the longer I stare into the bed, knowing what is supposed to happen on a newlyweds' first night together. Thinking about the feeling of my body being touched in every corner by someone I barely know is sickening. 

It jogged up a part of my memory which replays in my head as whispers engulfed my ears. Gripping the cloth near my chest tightly as my mind transpires the King-sized hotel bed into the one that came from my room back at the mansion. Relinquishing a spine-tingling scene that I wanted to get out of my head permanently if I could.

.

.

.

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“Come on, babe. It’s going to make you feel good too, I promise I’ll be gentle,” A young man’s voice ripped through my ears as he hovered above me.

“B-but we shouldn’t do this at all, I’m… not ready to do that kind of thing yet,” I replied, balling my fist cowardly on top of my clothed chest.

The man’s face turned grim and he slowly closed the distance between our faces, “So you’re not going to do it? Not for me? Your OWN boyfriend?”

“I-I’m just saying that I’m not ready for this yet. Not that I don’t want to do it with you in the futur-”

“I can’t believe it, I thought we had something special,” He scoffed as he pulled his body back up, picking up the hoodie he tossed on the floor earlier.

I lifted my agitated body up and scaredly stared at him, “Wait, where are you going?” He then glanced at me as he tugged the cloth enveloping his upper body.

“Back to my place, my mood is just off,” He continued to strut towards the bedroom door while I catched up to him and linked his arm around mine.

“But you promised we would go on a date after this, right?”

Right after I said that, he pulled his arm from my grasp and stared down at me with a dissatisfied glare. And at that moment, his words and expression imprinted itself on my mind forever.

“You have always been like this, ruining my mood every single fucking time when I just wanted to bond with you. Couples do these things to get to know each other better, and you just have to GO ON and deny it,” His voice increased, clenching his jaws at me.

He swiftly cornered me as his face hovered mine

“So do what you want, I’m leaving this place,” 

.

.

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I took in a quick intake of air as the memory ended, covering my face with my palms feeling devastated. Why can’t I just forget about this? 

A few days after that conversation, I found out that he had cheated on me with another girl when I was hanging out with Julia. And the moment my eyes watched as he smiled as he had never even smiled before towards that girl. And that got me thinking…

Was it my fault that he goes to another girl than me? What if I gave in to him that night? What would it be like for me? Was I really the victim here? No matter how I look into it, it's just fucked up, that guy's an asshole anyway. I wish the young me from 4 years ago wouldn't mope over that guy dumping her.

Still, since then.... anything that involves people trying to get closer to me because of my appearance… Made me relieve that memory yet again, and disgust towards them… and myself…

I don't even know how I should react considering this is my first night with Alvar... God, I hate just by thinking of it. The sensation is just unsettling... Okay, keep it together, Lenna. You can't let this guy have a way with your body like how that asshole's going to in the past.

I walked over to the bed and sat by the edge to calm myself down. Looking down at my thighs and the linings where my shorts drew the line over the cloth and my skin. Tracing the cotton shorts with my fingers gently but nervously as I waited for any signs of life to come around. Remembering the faces that everyone made before they returned to the South region.

Especially Al's and Kalem's warm hug... I'm going to miss it so much...

The mere thought of wanting to feel their arms around me was enough to run the waterworks on my eyes. Wishing that this whole ordeal was just a nightmare and woke up to either Al or Kalem to comfort me. And after calming me down, Kalem would sneakily bring some sweets from the kitchen for me to chow down.

We would just chat and laugh until I could go back to sleep in peace again... And maybe Al would just tuck himself next to me so that I won't have any more nightmares. With Kalem probably joining into bundle up together in the end.

At this point, I was already shaking and letting out streams of tears. I strongly sniffed and started to wipe them away with my palms. Swiping hand in hand as more tears came by, while ache is surrounding my entire body. Clenching my teeth was not the best move to make. The overwhelming pressure in between my teeth just wanted to spew more tears of my heart's grief.

I brought it upon myself, agreeing to marry Alvar in order to save Al's life before mine. But what's a girl like me going to do if she were to lose someone whom she holds dearly? Not to mention I wasn't even there to say goodbye to my mom in the past...

In the middle of the quiet and lukewarm room, I suddenly heard a beep and the sound of an opening door coming from the living room. My body flinched, letting my sniffles to be overcome by fear and adrenaline. I quickly wiped off the remaining tears and straightened my back up. And as soon as I did that, I heard the door's click as it seemed to be closed.

Heavy steps of someone's footing could be heard getting closer and closer. Holding my breath in silence as I saw a figure making way through the living room.

And there he is... Alvar... loosing up his hair tie and lets his strands of pristine white hair flow down his shoulders. His white blazer got ridden off, leaving him with his white vest and black shirt on. Looping the Vermillion colored tie to hang around his shoulders, tucked under his collars.

I was truly lost at words... How can he look so sophisticated yet refined when I was clearly opposing the idea of taking any interest in him. He's a cold-blooded and emotionless man who doesn't even hesitate to take one's life... T-that means... If I denied his request to have intercourse... Would he threaten me? Pointing a gun against my head just like he did to Al? Or his hands around my neck as it slowly squeezes my air duct?

No no no, I can't let him do what he wants with my body... although... I hope he doesn't rush into it immediately when I'm unprepared... 

With that thought, I have yet to realize that I was tracing the crook of my neck with my left fingers. Once I did, I let out a gasp, causing myself to grab my left hand in an instant. Alvar's head lifted up in surprise and flinched, his upper body tensed up as he rotated his body towards the source of the noise.

My eyes then caught his' as he turned his gaze towards the bedroom. There was a profound silence between us, staring at each other with wide eyes.  It was not long until it was broken by him clearing his throat profoundly.

"You're already here," he spoke up, walking over to the bedroom tensely.

I hesitantly nodded, "Y-yeah," I replied, averting my gaze down from his eyes to his waist to avoid the pressure his aura gives me.

Another awkward silence came over us both. Engaging me to apprehensively balled my fist on top of my thighs and bit my lower lip. I was glancing at him over the seconds we were not letting out any sound.

My heart is beating too wild as if the adrenaline of being frightened is pumping through my blood. The only choice I'm given is to surrender to him in bed. Although, my inner will would beg to differ with the choice I was given.

Suddenly, as if some force halted my eyes up to his face, I was gazing into his uneasy face. His Amber pupils were turning left and right before his eye movements stopped at a specific spot on his right. He tilted his head a bit in that direction and is peering at something. I decided to quietly follow where his gaze lands. It was far beyond my left so I have to rotate my upper body in order to see it clearly.

The next thing I knew, I was staring right at a stone statue on top of a medium-height Greek column. Standing at the corner of the room, having its lifeless marbling black eyes catching both me and Alvar in sight.

A statue of a young and beautiful woman wearing a Greek robe as she carries a pot in her arms. Sitting on top of something that her long robes are covering with her legs folded by the knees and swayed to the right. her long flowing curly hair covered her shoulders as a circlet decorated her head.

Caught in confusion, I'm clearly developing some weird sensations around my body. As if the statue's eyes were not so dead at all. When I was about to ask Alvar any questions, I heard steps going closer to where I was sitting.

I instinctively turned my body around and saw that he was standing right before me with an empty gaze.

"Stand up," He demanded, straining an invisible knife against my throat.

I quickly obliged and stood up as fast as my legs can spring me up. Putting pressure on the tip of my toes in order to prevent myself from falling towards. My heart is racing up high as he began to close the distance between us. Unnerving as it looks, he once again glanced at the statue on the corner.

Waiting for his next act, I was preparing myself for the fate I'm put in tonight. It took a good few seconds before his eyes turned back to stare down at mine. Then he averted his gaze downwards from my eyes. I didn't even want to follow his eyes as I would have know where he would be staring at.

I clamped my mouth and eyes shut tight, clenching my fist. My body trembled with fear, as a sigh came forward from Alvar's lips.

"Hey," a whisper came to my ears, a softer tone than what I heard earlier.

I slowly opened my eyes and lifted up my face. I was met with a pair of petrifying pupils laying themselves upon me.  Unmatched with the tone of his voice a few seconds ago.

"Yes?" I replied

"... I know that you won't fancy what I'm about to do next. However, bear it with me for a moment," He mentioned with a deep husky voice.

Before I could apprehend the situation, he swiftly wrapped his right arm across my back and pulled my body against his. Embracing me tight within his arms forcefully, preventing me from not being able to struggle furthermore.

"Forgive me,"