For Tai Long, eminent First Prince of the kingdom of Sui, his downfall started the exact moment he oh-so-unknowingly lowered his royal buttocks onto the lush seat cushion in his luxurious private sedan. The instant the cushion compressed under his weight, the needles buried within poked straight out and created a constellation of painful holes on the prince’s noble posterior.

“Aaahhhhhhh!”

The prince’s miserable shriek pierced the sky above, not unlike the needles that just pierced his bottom. His scream startled the birds perched in the forests on either side of the road into fearfully taking flight. The prince’s private guard present outside the sedan jolted and hurried to their master’s side.

“Your Royal Highness, what happened?!”

“Did Your Highness hurt yourself?”

“Someone check to see that there’s no one from the empire left behind who could have done this!”

“All make way, I bring medicine for the prince!” said the medic as he bustled forward. Twitching up a curtain and peeking into the sedan, he spoke, “Your Highness, please show me where you have been injured and I’ll apply the healing poultice for you.”

Standing hunched inside the small space, his hands clutching his esteemed buttocks, the prince’s face had gone purplish-red from fury and embarrassment. Snarling a fierce “Get out, all of you!” he snatched the box with the poultice from of the medic’s hands and kicked him out.

The medic’s face was a mixture of confusion and enlightenment. As the rest of the guard congregated around him to ask about the prince’s condition, the medic shared in a whisper, “It seems the prince has hurt his posterior somehow and…his buttocks have swelled a size or two larger.”

All their minds flashed to the image of their prince waddling around, the seat of his pants strained beyond limits, while his inordinately giant buttocks jiggled with every step.

“Pffft!”

Stifled laughter sounded, and the prince who had just exited his sedan after applying the medicine witnessed it with a darkening expression. His already displeased mood turned livid. “What are you all doing?! You dare laugh behind your superior’s back?!”

The guard immediately quietened with fear and bowed their heads, chorusing respectfully, “We wouldn’t dare, Your Highness!”

The prince huffed angrily and pointed to the sedan with an imperious swing of his hand. “Burn the cushion within that has injured me so along with the things it has been hiding inside! I want everything that dared to hurt me to disappear within the next minute, do you understand?”

His people leapt to do his bidding and quickly dragged out the offending cushion, glancing curiously at the sharply glinting needles poking out.

“Your Highness, you can’t!” The medic rushed to dissuade him. “We don’t know what the needles were coated with to have such an…unexpected effect so quickly. We need samples.”

“Shut up!” Tai Long was too high on his rage and humiliation to listen to reason. “I say burn it all to ash, so burn it! Or I’ll have you take its place in the pyre instead!” As someone who was unused to weathering blows to his dignity, when faced with such an insult to his pride, his impulsiveness threw his intelligence straight out the window.

Knowing that the prince’s threats were not for show, no one dared say a word more as the cushion and needles were set on fire.

The prince watched it burn with dark eyes, wishing it was the scoundrels who planned such an affront to his person who were burning instead. It was no matter, he already guessed it was that empire’s Great General Ning Wei who had orchestrated this, so it was only a matter of time before he had his revenge! How dare that despicable man not only insult him severely with his words, but even plan such an atrocity! He would pay for it!

Tai Long finished grandly swearing vengeance to himself and turned to face his now-cushion-less sedan. When he thought of having to place his swollen and tender backside onto the hard wooden seat, he almost whimpered. Weighing his dignity against the sheer physical pain he would have to face if he sat down, the prince was forced to make a choice.

And that is how on the rest of the trip back to Sui’s capital, in addition to the four men carrying the sedan, there were now two more people firmly holding down the curtains on either side. The function of these two curtain holders was simple—to prevent others from seeing the infamous first prince having to kneel in the sedan with his venerable posterior in all its swollen glory sticking up into the air to avoid putting pressure on it.

Returning to his residence, the prince lay down on his stomach on the bed and freed his buttocks with relief from the stringent confines of his pants that had been growing tighter by the minute.

Now that his body was in such an unsightly condition, with even the underside of his genitals so swollen and painful, there was no way he could vent his frustrations by bedding his recent favorite lovers. He needed to get himself healed as soon as possible!

Just then, letting out a sweet meow, his black cat, Xiao-Ji, padded over on soft paws. The gold token hanging from the red rope around its neck swayed along with its graceful gait. The cat leapt onto the bed to greet him with a gentle head butt and surveyed the prince. Noticing his swollen posterior, Xiao-Ji twitched its whiskers curiously and came over to gently press a paw onto a reddened buttock.

Tai Long gave out a low, wretched groan in agony.

A manservant had just entered the room to announce that the bath his master usually preferred to take after travel had been prepared, but he froze, both at being blinded by those bare, glowing red buttocks of his master, and at the expectation of animal abuse due to the cat’s casual insolence.

But Tai Long merely reached back to gently pull the cat up and away from his injury and buried his face in the soft, well groomed fur of its back. “Xiao-Ji,” he murmured to it. “You’re supposed to make me feel better, not make it worse. Just stay here obediently and comfort me.”

The cat butted its head against the prince’s jaw and purred trustingly, full of subtle feline affection.

The manservant gulped as if he was the one who had evaded death.

After the entire ordeal of chasing Yan Yixuan around in the forest for weeks—though he had only been giving directions from the sedan—combined with his recent ordeal, the prince was exhausted. He lazily beckoned the manservant closer and said, “If the bath is ready, add some healing herbs to it before bringing it in. Ah, and notify the royal physicians that I am in urgent need of their service.”

The manservant bowed and left.

As soon as the prince was done with his herbal bath, the physicians were rushed in and told of his painfully engorged buttocks and the inflamed underside of his private regions.

One of the physicians rubbed between his brows and asked, “Your Highness, may we request that you have someone get the offending cushion and needles? We will need to take samples of the toxin from them before we can develop an antidote, since this appears to be some new creation.”

The prince huffed. “What makes you think the objects that have wounded me so would have been allowed to continue existing?” Upon being asked such a thing, his temper that had been smoothed away by his return to home and the company of his beloved cat threatened to flare up again.

The physicians stroked their white beards and sighed or shook their heads. This was not good. How were they supposed to develop a treatment for this now?

A young, black-bearded physician hesitantly suggested, “Then Your Highness, will you please allow us a look at your, uh, honorable posterior so that we can try and extract what toxins remain in the original needle pricks?”

The older physicians froze at the outrageously bold proposition while the prince slowly turned to face the black-bearded physician. “What did you say?”

The physician gulped and looked down as if trying to study the prince’s backside. “Uh…please show us your buttocks? It would be best if you bent over.”

Having already grown too sensitive to anything that sounded remotely disrespectful or humiliating due to his ordeal with Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei, the prince burst into violence and fiercely kicked out the physicians, yelling, “You dare! You dare to ask such a thing of this prince! Get out before I have you bent over and shove your medicine boxes up your ‘honorable posteriors’!”

The physicians fled in disgrace, fury twitching their droopy moustaches and stringy beards.

These royal physicians were learned old men who had earned names for themselves as the best in their craft. They had their own pride and influence in the palace and thus refused to treat this unreasonably ill-mannered prince until he apologized.

Since he refused to bend, both literally and figuratively, the prince had to instead call for other lesser known physicians from outside the palace walls to treat him. But without any samples of the original poison, the physicians could make no significant progress. The prince was thus stuck in his chambers, unwilling to resign himself to walking the palace’s halls with his giant, bouncing butt and inviting ridicule upon himself.

To add to Tai Long’s problems, a month after his return, the Zhishi Empress sent over a strongly worded missive to the royal court outlining the first prince’s various misdeeds against the empire’s emissary—the Duke Yan who was a close friend of the empress’s—that she sent to their kingdom in good faith. Attached to the missive was also proof of the prince’s malicious intentions, attested to by one of his guard captains, amongst other testimonies. The empress demanded a suitable explanation and hinted at all the ways the imperial court wanted to be compensated.

When this missive was read out loud in the royal court, it kicked up a furor that was no lesser than the current size of the prince’s enlarged buttocks.

To appease both the royal court and the empress, the king of Sui officially kicked First Prince Tai Long out of the line of succession in punishment, thus removing his claim to the throne. The prince was to also be confined to his quarters to reflect deeply upon his wrongdoings.

With his ambitions thus crushed and the throne he had been ardently striving for his whole life suddenly placed out of reach, the first prince was maddened with fury and hatred. As a pampered prince who has never had to manage his own emotions or face too big a setback, the prince was left unable to handle it and gave in to his impulsiveness once again. Riding his emotions, he heaped abuse onto his guard, pushing the blame of failure and his injury onto their lack of skills. Those that were unwilling to take his unreasonable scoldings and punishments lying down tried to stand up to him, but were whipped in return and thrown out.

Tensions and dissatisfaction against their master ran high, for the prince’s people had already had to put up with plenty till now.

In a ridiculous series of developments, they been assigned to hunt down a blameless young man just because he was unwilling to get into the old king’s or the first prince’s bed. For that they were forced to trek through the wilderness even as their master sat in his prissy little sedan and complained about how his luxurious life wasn’t luxurious enough. Then they had to fight the empire’s hardened troops and faced bitter defeat and injury at their hands. And the prince’s guard wasn’t even supposed to be specialized in any of this!

In the end, after seeing how even the Duke Yan who was on the enemy’s side understood this but their own prince didn’t, their loyalties had grown strained. That, added to the current situation of having to face blame and punishments unfairly, caused many of the prince’s guard to present their resignations and walk away.

The prince had not expected this turn of events.

Till now, he had never had to court anyone’s favor except his father’s. Combined with how he was used to being obeyed unconditionally without needing to convince anyone of his point of view, it meant that he never tried to exercise empathy and lacked insight into people in general.

All this led to Tai Long receiving an unpleasant surprise in the form of his people’s abandonment of him this time when they had just borne with him before.

Those that the prince once thought he could use and throw away as he pleased, those that had once given themselves to his service in return for the money and prestige he presented them, those people whose loyalty he took for granted as his due, all of them actually chose to leave him now of all times when his ego was already beaten and bruised, and it set him off even more.

Not knowing how else to retain them and angry at them for making him feel at a loss like this, the prince was overcome with his impulses once more. He screamed and shouted that if anyone whose families were in his employ left, he would viciously torture and execute their family members. In this despicable way, he managed to keep a few unwilling guards. The fact that these people were forced to serve him despite their own anger or animosity towards him only made the prince feel more powerful and in control after everything, satisfying his trampled ego somewhat.

The entire time he was confined to his residence, the prince resented Yan Yixuan for catching his eye and setting off the series of events that ended in his current sorry plight. And he hated Ning Wei even deeply for his prank that ended up with his humiliation, which in turn ignited his anger and caused him to push away his guard in the first place.

After he was left to simmer in his thoughts for a few months, the prince was eventually let out of confinement once the king deduced that the imperial court’s dissatisfaction must have subsided. By now, Tai Long’s inflamed nether regions had also returned to normal, except for the slight puffiness in his buttocks that only he seemed to notice with his paranoid observation.

As soon as he was released, the prince visited the king under the pretense of offering his gratitude for his father’s forgiveness and expressing his remorse for having troubled his father through his actions.

When the prince was done expertly plumping up his father’s good impression towards him, he finally started on the main reason he visited. “Speaking of the great heights you’ve led our kingdom to, Royal Father, I can’t help but think about how certain people seem unable to respect a great nation as ours despite its flourishing under your rule.”

The pleased expression the king had been wearing turned to a frown. “What do you mean?”

The prince bowed his head as if reluctant to answer and said, “I refer to how the empire’s general dared to encroach into our territory recently without going through proper procedures, as if he’s looking down on our holy kingdom. But then again, he is only a boor who doesn’t understand his place, not knowing that you could easily have him punished for his offense against you.”

While Tai Long wanted to get Yan Yixuan into hot water with his father as well, he knew better than to bring up the name of the person due to whom he had offended the empire right now. On the other hand, considering how much power the general must hold in his hands now after his victorious return as a war hero, the empress must have grown wary of him. She must be looking for a reason to get rid of him and eliminate a threat before it grew any further. The general’s intimate closeness to the influential Duke Yan wouldn’t reassure her any either.

His father must realize this too. He must know that if he truly took offense with that Ning Wei for the way he crossed the border with troops and dealt with him in retaliation, the empress might even thank him for it. Of course, as someone with a grudge against Ning Wei, Tai Long would also benefit from it.

However, the prince didn’t expect to have touched his father’s sore spot despite all attempts to go around it.

Laughing angrily as he understood what the prince was trying to instigate him to do, the king sneered, “Oh yes, let me just send people over to grab the war hero of the empire, our allied country’s great general, who is also living with the official you just offended and put us all into hot water to obtain, shall I?”

With all the good feelings the prince engendered during the conversation thus thoroughly wiped, the king kicked the prince out furiously and locked him up in his residence again. Nursing his once-again-painful behind that had received a lovingly heavy kiss from the king’s boot, the prince grew frustrated and angry at his father as well.

His father was the one who had wrenched away his position as a potential heir! He lost his chance to be at the very top of the kingdom, with everything in his control and everyone at his disposal. It was not just Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei’s fault, but also his stupid father who bent so easily under a small gesture of disapproval from the empress like her faithful minion. How could he ruin his own son’s future like this?! Didn’t his father know he’d only gone after Yan Yixuan to obtain the young duke for him?! Wasn’t his father clear of the main reason why he wanted the throne in the first place?! After a life full of running around to fulfill every wish and whim of his father’s, all to seek his approval in the form of being crowned as the heir, this was how he was treated in the end?!

And so, feeling abandoned by his father, the prince stewed in his self-feeding hatred and ideas of vengeance that grew bolder and bolder.

This time when the prince was freed from confinement, he tucked away all his true thoughts neatly before he went to thank his father for his amnesty. Knowing that his father’s vigilance must have risen against him, Tai Long claimed to have discovered a newfound devotion to their god and requested to be freed of courtly matters so he could visit the various temples in the capital.

The king did not believe that this dissolute and ambitious son of his had suddenly reached religious enlightenment. But thinking that this must be Tai Long’s pragmatic way of accepting his wrongs and stepping away from the court to show with actions that he wouldn’t act out, the king agreed.

From then on, the prince did as he said and toured the various temples and acted like a man reborn to piousness. As months passed like this, the king’s wariness against him gradually relaxed.

That was why, when the prince made it known that he wanted to go on a pilgrimage and pay homage at all the major temples scattered around the kingdom, no one suspected a thing.

Using this ruse, the prince took his guards with him to slip out of his father’s purview and stealthily journeyed to Xie, the nation the empire had recently won a war against. He decided to put up with the heartbreak of leaving his dear cat Xiao-Ji behind, knowing that as a supposed divine messenger, Xiao-Ji would have a better life free of worries in the palace than if it was brought with him onto this rocky and uncertain path.

Without his beloved cat to occupy the gentlest part of his heart, the prince turned ruthless. On their way to Xie, Tai Long warned the guards beforehand that even if he wasn’t in the line of succession now, he was still favored enough that if anything happened to him, the king would investigate, then punish the guard’s families for their failings at looking after his son. Though dissatisfied, the remaining members of the prince’s guard could only suppress it and obey him.

Journeying to Xie’s capital, the prince used his identity to obtain a meeting with its ruler.

As the two men sat opposite to each other and finished with formalities and polite small talk, Tai Long proposed to Xie’s ruler, “I want Xie to help me gain the kingdom of Sui’s throne by arranging for a coup to kill its king and all heir candidates. In return, once I am enthroned, I will lend you my kingdom’s armies and resources so you can take back what you lost to the empire during the war.”

Xie’s ruler leaned back thoughtfully. After a few moments, he tried to convey his disbelief at that possibility by saying, “All these years, my nation has exhausted itself, using up all the talented tacticians and warriors we could muster in the war. Yet all we succeeded in doing was dragging the war for this long without gaining a single bit of territory or advantage, instead losing soldiers in droves and depleting our economy and resources. Yet Your Highness says you can help us overcome that?”

Unskilled in reading people as he was, the prince did not sense the incredulity in that statement and instead took it as a sign of the other man’s dissatisfaction with the empire and their loss. The prince brightened and stated, “Yes, so I hope you will accept my proposal and show the empire that they will not win a second time.”

Xie’s ruler gave him a long look, then sighed when he realized his dissuasion didn’t catch on. Well, he had already tried to spare this young man, so this prince would have only himself to blame for delivering himself to be used.

Acting like he was considering the prince’s suggestion, the ruler sank into contemplation for a few minutes, then asked someone to grind some ink and wrote up a pact. The pact detailed the prince’s intent to share troops and resources the moment Xie successfully helped him kill his father and all his potential heirs.

“Your Highness,” the ruler said. “Please sign this so I can have some assurance that you will truly keep your end of the bargain. After all, we will have to be the ones to make the first move by helping you gain Sui’s throne. Once our part is done and you get what you want, what can guarantee that you won’t go back on our agreement if it’s only verbal?”

The prince naturally understood the logic behind it, and pleased that the ruler had all but agreed, he quickly affixed his personal seal to the document to show his sincerity.

Xie’s ruler smiled. “Thank you, Your Highness. Now that I have proof of your promise, I will have to ask for a few days in which I can convene my court to discuss your proposal in detail. An alliance with a future king is, after all, a very big matter.”

His wounded pride now stroked in the right way, Tai Long was pleased and dignifiedly agreed. The prince and his people were then taken to their new accommodations and settled in.

After the prince left, Xie’s ruler called for a trustworthy messenger to swiftly deliver the agreement the prince stamped along with a personally written letter explaining the circumstances. The receiver of this package would be the empress.

The ruler’s reasoning for selling the prince out was simple.

Xie had already lost so miserably in the war that their fighting power was now negligible. Not to mention that the main reason the kingdom of Sui itself had allied with the empire, offering to generously share resources with it, was because Sui was afraid of the battle prowess the empire exhibited during the war. As Sui witnessed the empire win with glory, it must have decided that it was much weaker and couldn’t afford coming under the empire’s sights. After all, its abundant resources but not-as-skilled soldiers would make it the next juicy target if the empire wanted new territory. And so, Sui preemptively offered an alliance.

As it was now, even if the meek Sui and the weakened Xie combined their forces, they would still be defeated by the empire without doubt. Not to mention, though the prince offered Sui’s resources after he won, it was fact that the empire was sharing resources with Xie right this moment. The empire’s help was much more concrete than the prince’s unconfirmed offers of aid in the vague future.

But if it was only that, Xie’s ruler would have just ignored or sent the prince away to show Xie’s neutrality and avoid offending either side. The ruler in fact had another reason in doing this, and that was to make it up to Ning Guang and Ning Wei.

Back during the war, it had been a necessary strategic move to hold Ning Guang as a war prisoner, along with capturing Ning Wei later, and attempt to extract what secrets they could. But in the current times of peace, those actions would only invite the empire’s dissatisfaction. Maybe giving them a heads-up that they were being targeted by Sui’s first prince would negate some of that bad blood between them. After all, Xie’s ruler had already heard of what all this infamous first prince of Sui had done.

Now that the ruler had turned in the person who had tried to capture the current general’s lover, he hoped Ning Wei, and the empire as an extension, would feel a bit more kindly towards Xie.

↢∘●∘↣

A few days later in the imperial palace’s study, the empress quickly scanned the missive that had just arrived from Xie. When she reached the end, she stood up and banged a hand on the table, demanding, “Go bring Duke Yan to me! There is an important matter that has to be discussed.”

The scrawny old eunuch by her side startled and scurried towards the door, then almost collided with the imperial consort as she entered the study. Surprisingly, the consort was followed by Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei.

“Duke Yan arrived at the palace gates and expressed that he was here to discuss some missive from Xie you just received. It sounded very important so I brought him and the general directly to you,” the consort explained.

The empress’s surprised gaze bored into the young man. “Xiao-Yan, how did you know to come at this exact time?”

Beside her, the eunuch cleared his throat and censured, “Your Majesty, calling an official of the court by such an informal address is inappropri―”

“Tch, enough. Eunuch Gan, you may leave,” the empress said, annoyed by his usual lecturing.

Eunuch Gan’s dignified old mien looked like it would crack at any second and spill a waterfall of tears. “B-But Your Majesty…”

The empress waved a hand impatiently. “We have something confidential to discuss with our faithful subjects. Go.”

Glancing at her with a wronged look, the eunuch almost pouted as he drifted out like a lifeless ghost.

Yan Yixuan chuckled and shook his head sympathetically. “I know he’s too set in the old ways, but you still bully him too much, Sister Nuo.”

“So you say while acting informal and defying his wishes,” the empress returned. She pressed again, “Why are you here so coincidentally, Xiao-Yan?”

Yan Yixuan gave her a beaming smile. “My spy among your people informed me of the missive, of course. By the time Xie’s messenger made it through the many layers of guards and inspections to you, I had already made it here.”

The empress scowled and swore before saying, “I’ll find your damned spy sooner or later.”

Yan Yixuan grinned. “We’ll see about that. But first, may I ask what that missive contains and why you were looking for me?”

The empress motioned for him and the general to sit down and took her own place behind the desk. The consort left to rest after having just returned from a trying foray outside.

The empress briefly explained how the prince attempted to solicit Xie’s help in seizing Sui’s throne in return for Sui allying with Xie against the empire. Reaching the end, the empress sighed, “Though you already warned me that the prince might make a move against you, I didn’t expect him to take this route. From everything I’ve seen of that prince, I can’t decide if he’s clever or stupid.”

Yan Yixuan played with an indulgent Ning Wei’s hand and shrugged. “He’s both.”

Ning Wei offered his input, “From what I’ve seen, he’s largely stupid. Why else would he have lost so easily even though he was trying to capture you in his own territory and with greater numbers on his side?”

“It wasn’t actually that easy to win against him,” Yan Yixuan said, his gaze still on the strong fingers of his beloved’s hand. The younger man’s fingertip sensually traced the vee between two of Ning Wei’s fingers.

The general suppressed a shudder and closed his tingling fingers. His voice was husky as he said, “Oh? But looking at it objectively, you suffered no losses while the prince seems to have taken quite the hit.”

Yan Yixuan smiled, pleased at getting a reaction out of his husband from his fondling. “That’s indeed so, but if you think about it carefully, if not for the first prince owing me a favor, I might not have been able to get out of that situation so cleanly.”

The empress huffed. “From what I heard, if not for that prince’s cat unintentionally drawing you into the range of that landslide, or perhaps even being the cause of it, you wouldn’t have gotten into that situation in the first place. It is only fitting that the favor you earned by finding that cat ended up saving you.”

Yan Yixuan laughed softly. “That is also true. But the prince’s planning cannot be overlooked.

“First, he used his familiarity with his kingdom to convince you to let him search for me after the landslide, thus giving him an aboveground means to hunt for me. He then split his people into many teams and put pressure on my group, even sending out scouts to fill in the gaps. He thus took advantage of my lowered vigilance due to my assumption that he was only looking for me stealthily, since it led me to expect more careful movements and smaller numbers from him.

“Just when my group thought we had cleverly evaded him, we ran into one of his other groups that had been instructed to keep watch on the path we were most likely to take to the empire. If not for the general’s lieutenants waiting at the side and springing out at the right time… Well, I could have gotten out somehow, but it’s unknown how many of the bandits would have had to sacrifice their lives in the process.

“The biggest miscalculations the prince made was expecting things from his people above their capabilities and not realizing that his plans might meet resistance from reality, since people seldom react exactly as reason dictated. And so, the moment Ning Wei and his people entered the fray, the plans he’d woven already showed holes. Not to mention, no matter how trained and elite his guard was, there is only so much they can do to act the part of soldiers and scouts when they have no training in that respect. He also failed to manage his people’s mental state throughout the situation due to sheer disregard.

“In short, he is a good enough strategist but a terrible commander, and it ended up playing to our favor. If he didn’t have these flaws, I’m afraid we would not have had such an easy time returning to the empire.”

Ning Wei frowned and took one of the younger man’s hands in his own. “Was it really that close? If I had been a little late or didn’t bring as many people, then…”

Yan Yixuan smiled at him reassuringly. “Don’t think of that, Ah-Wei. I and the others made it out safely in the end, that’s what matters.”

The empress folded her arms and leaned back. “When you put it that way, Xiao-Yan, that prince does seem like he has some brains up there. But it runs contrary to the idiocy he has been exhibiting recently according to my people’s reports from Sui.”

Ning Wei tilted his head as he thought back to his confrontation with the prince. “Could it be that the reason he acted so stupidly with me was because he lost his cool after you delivered a blow to his pride by slipping his grasp?”

Smiling appreciatively, Yan Yixuan stroked his husband’s cheek and praised, “My Ah-Wei’s as intuitive as always.”

The general smiled warmly, leaning into his touch.

The empress rolled her eyes and brought the topic back on track. “So, what you’re saying is that Sui’s first prince can manage to muster up some intelligence, but all that flies away when his pride is stepped on?”

Yan Yixuan shrugged. “In the state he is in currently, yes. He must usually restrain it so it isn’t very obvious, but the events since my visit to Sui will have rained blows on that self control again and again until it broke quite thoroughly, inciting this spade of bad decision making. He doesn’t seem very adept at exerting any more control over his pride than that.

“It does make sense if you think about how he leads a life where he rarely has to deal with disobedience or insults to his pride. He might not know how to retain his reason when his ego is pricked continuously. It explains why, though he knew his father was attempting to court me, he couldn’t help but also feel the need to make me submit to him after I beat down his arrogant self one too many times.”

The empress shook her head and sighed. “Xiao-Yan, why do you always attract the attention of the deranged ones? First it was your elder half-brother and now this prince.”

Yan Yixuan grinned. “Maybe they just can’t resist my charm.”

“Mn, and you certainly can’t be blamed for being such a charming little fox,” Ning Wei immediately added in his support.

The young man smiled up at his husband with pink cheeks while the general gave him a doting look.

The empress massaged her forehead. How much more dog food would she have to bear with before they could end this discussion? “So,” she began, interrupting the lovebirds. “Putting all this aside, what are we going to do about that prince?”

Yan Yixuan turned to her. “Well, since he is planning on inciting others to move against our empire, why don’t we invite him for a chat and have him explain himself to us?”

The empress’s eyebrows rose with interest. “Oh?”

“And in the meantime,” the young man continued with a glint in his eyes, “we can notify Sui’s king about his son’s uncharitable thoughts towards not only their allied country but his own family, then see how far the king will go to protect his own interests.”

The empress laughed. “Very well, I will see it done.”

“Once the prince is brought here,” Ning Wei asked, “what are you planning to do with him?”

Yan Yixuan narrowed his eyes, his smile thinning. “Now that depends on the prince’s performance.”

After that ominous statement, the three people put their heads together to decide which method they would use to ‘invite’ the prince over. In the end, it was Ning Wei’s simple suggestion that was agreed on, mostly due to Yan Yixuan’s support of whatever his beloved said. Unheeding of the empress’s wails of “But that’s so straightforward it’s not fun at all!” the plan was set in motion.

And that was why a few days later, the empire’s agents in Xie received a task to approach the prince’s guards and see if they were susceptible to bribes. If they weren’t, the agents could just incapacitate them and kidnap the prince, but that might lead to some unwanted disturbance. Though they were told that Xie was on their side in this matter, it wouldn’t do for their identities as agents to be exposed after all the time they had spent undercover. And so, they approached the guards with equal parts preparedness and apprehension.

But to the agents’ astonishment, once the guards heard that the first prince would be out of commission after this, they immediately agreed. After all, once the king heard how the first prince was trying to kill him, he would surely not punish the guards for their betrayal. In fact, the king might even reward them for getting rid of this treacherous son who meant him harm. But more than that, the guards couldn’t hold back their hope that once the prince was gone, they would finally have a chance to be free of his manipulation using threats against their families.

The next day, Tai Long was told that Xie’s ruler sought his presence in a secret villa near Xie’s border. It was claimed to be to discuss the impending alliance between the prince and Xie with the ruler and his closest confidants from the court. The unsuspecting prince agreed and set off to the border on a carriage surrounded by his guards.

By the time the prince realized that they were traveling farther than warranted and were headed into the empire, it was already too late.

The guards whose paths he had once cut off so they wouldn’t leave him had now in turn cut off all his routes of retreat. They had barred the doors and windows from outside when he wasn’t paying attention, and since he had been specifically asked to not carry any weapons to the meeting, he wasn’t wearing his ornamental sword or trusty knife either. Even if he attempted to force his way out barehanded, his martial arts were nowhere near as good as these trained and elite guards, not to mention that he was only one man against an entire group of such elites.

With no way out, Tai Long could only wait in the carriage with aggravation at the betrayal and dread at his unknown fate churning his stomach.

When the carriage stopped, the prince put away all his doubts and fears and donned stoicism like a mask. He was dragged out by guards liveried in the imperial palace’s colors as his own guards watched uncaringly. He was then taken through a side passage before being deposited at the center of a large sitting room.

The prince stumbled to a halt and studied the people before him.

The woman he guessed was the empress sat facing him on an understatedly luxurious couch. The woman beside the empress must be a concubine or consort of some sort. Settled on a couch perpendicular to theirs were Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei.

The empress spoke up first. “First Prince Tai Long of Sui, we have been awaiting your arrival. Since our subjects here are more acquainted with you than us, we shall let them do the honors of welcoming you.”

Tai Long gave the empress a cautious and uncomfortable glance, then directed looks of loathing at Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei. He should have known it would be these two meddling in his affairs again! That damn ruler of Xie must have sold him out to the empire!

Unmindful of his hostility, Yan Yixuan dutifully greeted, “It’s been a while, Your Highness. I want to ask if you’ve been well, but it’s obvious that things have been a tad difficult for you since we last saw each other.”

Tai Long’s hands clenched into fists. He tried to hit back by saying, “It’s certainly been a long time, Duke Yan, and it seems neither of us is the same now. You look to have fattened from the last time we met.”

Rather than feeling insulted as he expected, Yan Yixuan instead smiled, pleased. “Is that so? It must be because my husband pampers me so much.”

The prince startled. “Husband?!”

They actually married? Flimsy claims of love aside, he hadn’t expected that these two, who were each a fearsome demon in their own right, would actually bind themselves to each other like this. Or was it actually a political marriage? It must be.

As one would expect, a dunderhead in empathy like the prince naturally didn’t understand the extent of this lovestruck couple’s affections.

Yan Yixuan nodded and answered with some smugness, “Yes, we’re married. I hope Your Highness doesn’t blame us for not inviting you to our wedding.”

Tai Long sneered. “A cunning official and an aggressive general getting together must have been quite a sight to see. I sure hope your marriage will be able to last despite all your differences.”

What was so good about that Ning Wei? He was nothing but a glorified soldier! And his mouth was so sharp that he doubted anyone could even kiss him without getting their lips sliced up. He wanted to see how long a courtier could tolerate staying with such a brutish man.

However, Yan Yixuan naturally interpreted the prince’s words in the way he wanted and replied happily, “Thank you for your blessings. We are certainly determined to live out our lives together.”

The prince almost choked. Thank you? Thank you?! What was he being thanked for? He had just cursed them to split up soon, damn it!

At the side, Ning Wei was hiding his smile behind a hand while the empress’s eyes danced with mirth. She elbowed her consort and whispered, “Quick, have someone bring me my melon seeds. Things are getting entertaining.”

Letting out a longsuffering sigh, the consort called for a servant and the empress was soon munching on shelled melon seeds while spectating gleefully.

Recovering from his speechlessness, the prince turned his gaze to Ning Wei. “It seems you’re quite the happy couple. But what has become of you, General? Tsk, tsk. Your words showed such a lack of restraint the last time we crossed paths, yet you’ve been as still and silent as a statue now that you’re a married man.”

The general blinked slowly as an easygoing smile spread on his lips. “Since I married into my husband’s household to be nothing more than an ornamental trophy wife, it’s only proper that I sit by his side silently and look pretty in the background.”

“……” Tai Long struggled to bite out a sarcastic retort, “How obedient. It seems you have quite the husband for you to fall all over yourself just to please him.”

Ning Wei agreed cheerfully, “Indeed. He’s not only handsome and accomplished, he’s also loving and satisfies me in all kinds of ways. I have to admit that you had good taste when you set your eyes on him. Too bad for you that I’ve already tied him to my side.”

Tai Long, “……”

What the fuck was he trying to say by bringing that up now of all times?! Did the general think he still had the mind to care about chasing after the duke in his current situation?! And where the fuck had this man’s usually sharp tongue gone? Had that duke swallowed it down while they were kissing, or was the general restraining himself so as to not offend the empress? No, that wasn’t even the point! Why did their conversation seem to have derailed in a strange direction from the very beginning?!

No, wait, could it be that…this couple was actually flaunting in front of him?! Was it possible that they had truly married for something as unreliable and impractical as love?!

And so, after being bombarded by a full course of dog food, the prince belatedly reached enlightenment.

Breaking him out of his daze, Yan Yixuan snapped open his fan to hide his face and said with pretend-shyness, “You’ve both been complimenting me one after another… You should stop before I blush.” He then advised the prince, “Your Highness, if you directed such compliments towards those you court, you would have a much higher chance of winning their favor than through stalking and chasing them through a forest.”

Tai Long puffed up with anger, “You―!” It was at this time that his eyes finished comprehending the cloyingly sweet inscription displayed on the fan. He felt blinded.

There was no doubt! This couple was indeed showing off to him!

Deciding not to give them any more chance to shove their dog food down his throat, the prince directly addressed the empress, “Your Majesty, we have indulged in small talk long enough. Before we start discussing the reason I was brought here, let me just remind you that no matter what accusations or rumors you have heard of me, it does not change the fact that I am the first prince of Sui, a nation allied to yours. No matter what I did or did not do, it should be left to my kingdom to judge or punish me. I assure you that they will provide you with a satisfactory explanation to clear away whatever doubts you have.”

His first priority now should be to escape from the empire’s hands. As for how to face his father after running away from the palace, he’d deal with that later.

“Even if we wish to do that, we’re afraid it is impossible now,” the empress stated. “Though we have been referring to you as a prince all this while out of courtesy, we are afraid you can no longer be called that. After your father, the king of Sui, learned of your attempt to conspire against us with our neighbors in Xie, he was greatly saddened and disappointed. He has already disowned you and struck your name from the royal family’s registry. All your assets have also been seized by the royal palace under the king’s orders.” Leaning forward, the empress said, “This is the judgment and punishment from your kingdom you requested, Mister Tai.”

Tai Long staggered back, his expression stricken. “W-What? How can such a thing be possible?! No, Father wouldn’t do that to me due to mere hearsay…”

“I’m afraid it’s true,” Yan Yixuan spoke. He took out the missive sent from Xie, along with the pact that served as proof of his attempted collusion with Xie. The young man went on, “The seal on this pact was confirmed to be yours and serves as proof of your intentions, so the king’s decision was not based on mere hearsay. To maintain good relations with the empire, the king gave you up to be tried for your crimes against the empire.”

Tai Long’s entire world collapsed. His chest felt too tight and his mind went blank.

Wait…what did this mean? He no longer had a home? He no longer had anything left for him in his homeland? He had nothing to his name except the clothes on his back? What could he do without money? How was he supposed to live without being able to pay for a house, food, clothes, servants, and guards?!

Abruptly cut off from everything he knew, he felt off-balance, utterly insignificant, and alone, like a powerless speck of dust that even the slightest blow of wind could pick up and toss around freely.

The suddenness of it all crashed into him and his legs threatened to give out. But Tai Long refused to let his knees bend and held himself stiffly.

With eyes widened and shoulders drawn up defensively, he finally pushed words out through his tight throat, “Your Majesty, what are you planning to do with me?”

The empress watched him curiously. “We have granted the right to decide your fate to our loyal subjects. They were the ones who were inconvenienced the most by you.”

Tai Long gritted his teeth and turned defiantly to Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei, substituting anger for strength. “I suppose now that you have me in your hands, you’re going to torture me for vengeance. But don’t think I’ll break that easily!”

Yan Yixuan smiled, amused. Did he think everyone was like him?

Beside him, Ning Wei raised a brow. “For a coward who is said to scurry behind his guard to hide at the first hint of trouble, you seemed to have some backbone at least.”

The aforementioned backbone stiffened in outrage as Tai Long declared, “No matter what you do to me, no matter what manner of gruesome and twisted torments you put me through, I will not yield!”

He was done having his pride constantly battered and bruised! Now that he was left with nothing, he had to protect his pride at least with all he had!

Yan Yixuan let out a soft laugh and drawled, “I would love to not disappoint your very low expectations of my hospitality and invite you to stay at my fun little dungeon, but all your compliments earlier have managed to put me in a good mood today. In return, I will simply grant you the status of a commoner and leave you with a means to make a living. Who knows, it might teach you some interesting lessons. You will, of course, have to be under the supervision of someone we trust.”

Tai Long’s eyes rounded with disbelief.

Ning Wei rubbed his chin and spoke to his husband, “After what you said about his intelligence, I don’t want to risk putting him anywhere he can do serious harm. So he can’t enlist as a soldier under me or serve in the palace under the empress. It will allow him too much nearness to important people and things.”

The empress had resumed eating her melon seeds and hummed in agreement. “Just use someone you know who works in a less sensitive place.”

The general frowned. “Father is in no condition to be overseeing anyone. And Master Jin has his hands full with teaching his students and looking out for Father. Jian Lan is already retired and has vulnerable children living with him, so I’d hate to trouble him with this.”

Crunching another seed, the empress suggested, “Why not let him stay at the Yan household’s main residence and under your Steward Ruan’s gentle guidance?”

Ning Wei almost snorted at that. The only ones Ruan Shu was gentle with was Yan Yixuan, his sister Yan Yiwen, and his niece Lin Meihui. Towards someone like Tai Long who had bothered Yan Yixuan so much, Ruan Shu would be a right devil.

Yan Yixuan shook his head and said, “The only accommodations open to him in my household are the dungeons.”

Ning Wei added his opinion, “I don’t want someone who tried to force or hurt my husband in our house, even if it was in the dungeons.”

The young man smiled at him, happy at the care.

The empress rolled her eyes and offered, “Then what about that brother-in-law of yours?”

Yan Yixuan and Ning Wei lapsed into thoughtful silence.

“It might work,” Ning Wei finally said.

The young man glanced at him. “There won’t be any danger?”

Ning Wei shrugged. “Not more than any other profession. Even if Brother-in-law can’t constantly keep an eye on him, there will always be others working nearby. He won’t be allowed to handle weapons alone so he won’t have a chance to tamper with them. The inventory is checked regularly and very thoroughly so he can’t secret any of it away. Since the war finished just last year, the regulations regarding military-related things are still pretty strict.”

Yan Yixuan turned to the empress and saw her shrug. “It’s your decision,” she said.

Since they all seemed to be in agreement, the young man turned to Tai Long and informed, “It seems your fate has been decided.”

Tai Long had been vigilantly watching them converse, trying to see if he could glean something of use from them. However, the more they discussed about him as if he wasn’t even here, the more he fumed, his anger building up silently.

Shooting an infuriated look at the young man, the former prince demanded, “What makes you think I will just bow my head and comply with your decision? What do you take me for to feel so assured of my obedience?” The more he started venting his boiling emotions, the angrier he became. Thinking about how the young man in front of him deciding his future now was the main reason for his current predicament, he couldn’t hold back his words anymore. “Yan Yixuan, all of this is your fault! You were the one who caused me to lose everything I had! And now you seek to humiliate me by making me a filthy peasant?! What gives you the right to play with my life?!”

Yan Yixuan’s smile was placid. “It’s not as outrageous as the right you thought you had when you hurt and forced people while in Sui’s palace.”

“What gives you the right to judge me for that?” Tai Long demanded. “What gives you the right to control me?! You and your general dragged me down to this, yet I am the one who has to pay!”

Knitting his fingers over his stomach and leaning back, Ning Wei looked at him, unimpressed. “What are you blaming us for? It was you who acted like a man who was so desperate to show off how big his dick is that he fucked himself in the ass with it to prove his point. That is to say, you delighted in your pride so much that you screwed yourself over with it, yet you blame us for it?”

Startled laughter burst out of Yan Yixuan while the empress almost choked on her melon seeds.

The consort rubbed the empress’s back while lightly chiding Ning Wei, “General, please keep your language in check lest you inadvertently kill this empire’s ruler.”

Ning Wei chuckled and executed an exaggerated bow, “Very well, I will obey the Imperial Consort’s command.”

Tai Long clamped his lips closed when faced with Ning Wei’s cutting tongue, wary of instigating it any further. Facing its potency once was more than enough for him!

Unwilling to deal with Ning Wei, he turned to Yan Yixuan and said with bitter hatred, “Duke Yan, I know you despise me. That’s why you are doing this. You must be very happy indeed now that you’ve succeeded in bringing me down to the point where you can push me around.”

Yan Yixuan sighed. “You keep accusing us for being the cause of your current situation, but I’m afraid that’s not how logic works. Every step taken to your downfall was by your own choice. You say I despise you, but that is untrue. I certainly don’t like you, but neither do I dislike you. I don’t feel any strong emotions towards you. All of your attempts before resulted in nothing more than a little trek through the forests for me, combined with gaining a new contingency of guards along the way, earning the loyalty of a friend, and getting the chance to buy some souvenirs for my beloved. Even our marriage proposal took place on my way back to my household from Sui, so I certainly benefited from it.

“However, you lost everything, and from what I’ve heard, it was mainly due to your sense of entitlement borne of your status, power, and money. I’m simply removing all that and giving you a chance to start anew as a commoner. As long as you work hard like the others, you will have food and shelter. If you manage to break away from the constraints of your pride, you might even gain friends and a spouse to enrich your life and make it fulfilling. Just like your downfall, everything that will happen from now on also depends completely on your choices. I have nothing to do with it.”

Tai Long was put in a daze by those words. All of his misfortunes were…his fault? No, it couldn’t be that. He didn’t want to believe it!

But before he could go on another bout of accusations, the empress put aside her bowl of melon seeds and pinned him with her gaze. “Enough of your blind finger-pointing. Mister Tai, you seem to think that we have to convince you to obey us. But you forget that you are nothing but our prisoner, a criminal who sought to harm the empire we cherish and was thus put in our hands to punish as we see fit. You cannot resist. You can either take our Official Yan’s mild penalty of starting your life over with your basic needs provided for, or you can choose our sentence of rotting in jail for the rest of your life. You choose.”

Tai Long wanted to scream, he wanted to rage, he wanted to do everything his impulsiveness urged him to do so he could feel some measure of maintaining his pride. But due to his experience with his late mother, he was never good at dealing with strong-willed women.

Struggling not to bow his head and avert his gaze, Tai Long spoke stiffly. “Very well, then. Do as you will.”

For now, he didn’t have a place to stay or money to buy food. He could have the empire provide it all for him and bide his time, waiting for an opportunity to turn it all around. This was him only taking a temporary step back so he could gain more in the future.

His acquiescence definitely wasn’t because he was suddenly reminded of his mother’s fingers gripping his child-self’s hair, staring into his fear-filled and teary face with maddened eyes.

Tai Long turned away from the empress, a remembered chill skittering down his spine.