Loki nudged the door open and came in, arms full, and kicked it closed with a foot. The kitten yawned on the back of the large curved sofa that took up a chunk of the living room, and did the stretching thing, claws extended, earning a terrifying glare from Tore which was promptly ignored. 

“Morning,” Loki said to nobody in particular and dumped the large box on the table. It was filled mostly with groceries and a few rounds of ammunition. Shopping for a mercenary was a strange business, but at least it built familiarity with the area, the currency, and the various fruit-and-gun-salespeople.

“Good morning,” Tore responded with a wave, and went back to cleaning her weapon. Over time, Loki had realized that Tore’s hammer was more than just a rocket-propelled block of steel, something that had become evident the first time she had demonstrated her daily ritual of dismantling and reassembling it. The mechanics on the inside consisted of a lot of suspension and inertial dampening, containing what was essentially a small missile pod and fuel for the posterior booster. If necessary, the hammer could be shoulder mounted and fire off a barrage of rockets that could turn most things into a fine mist, and then turn that fine mist into a fine, very dispersed mist. Not that Loki had ever seen it in action.

“How are you doing?”

“I am doing good, thank y--” Another glare. “You are talking to the cat.”

“Yes,” Loki said with a playful little smile, kneeling down next to the furball. “How are you doing, little one? Caught anything yet?” The cat responded with a little yawn and proceeded to headbutt the bridge of Loki’s nose. “Gosh, you’ve gotten big. How are the boosters taking?”

“Good, as far as diagnostics say,” Tore said. “No way to know for certain until we get some cranial development. But I have high hopes. It seems to be happy, anyway.”

“They,” Loki corrected while scratching the satisfied cat under the chin. Tore looked up and raised her eyebrows.

“Hmm?”

“If they’re going to be developing sapience, they’re going to have an identity. Calling them an ‘it’ is dehumanizing.”

“They are not human,” Tore said matter-of-factly, “but I see your point. You are still wanting to wait with naming until they have reached neural maturity?” Loki nodded and picked the little creature up.

“Yeah. They deserve to pick a name. And then they can let us know how they feel about pronouns, too.” Loki perched the kitten on a shoulder pad, where they immediately sat down, blinking slowly. The ease with which the cat had gotten used to their new life and environment had been staggering. 

“Why do you care so much about these things?” Tore asked, and Loki could feel her paying rapt attention. Tore was not one to waste words, and she was much more in tune with Loki’s feelings than she let on. It was frustrating, sometimes. She wasn’t asking dismissively. The answer, of course, was elaborate.

Because I have friends, out there, who have taught me that these things matter, Loki thought. Because I chose my own name and because of how good that felt, and I want to share that with someone right now. A pause. Because I don’t know what pronouns I want to use for myself anymore. Because I’m confused, and scared, and I don’t know what to think. 

“Because it matters,” Loki said succinctly, and Tore nodded before looking back at her disassembled weapon. It needed a name, Loki felt, but Tore hadn’t seen the point, and had not seen the humour in naming it ‘Mjölnir’. 

“It is just a weapon,” Tore had said. “It needs no name. Names are for people, not things.” Which was fair enough. Still, would have been good. Before Loki walked out on the balcony and Tore held up a hand. 

“Before you head out there,” Tore said, “Remember that I want you to get warmed up. We are hunting tonight.” Loki nodded. Not that there would’ve been any way to forget; Tore had been talking about it for weeks. A bounty worth their time had shown up on the radar. They’d have to go down a few floors, into the low sixties, but Tore had decided they were going to take the contract. Loki nodded, then paused at the door leading to the small roof terrace, turning back to her. 

“Hey, Tore?”

“Hmm?”

“What pronouns do you use? When you talk about me?” Tore paused for a moment, thinking, then went back to scrubbing out her weapon. 

“I do not talk about you,” she said, but Loki could see the little smile playing on her lips. “You are the only person in my life, Loki. You know that.” Loki couldn’t help but grin.

“And I’m the luckiest girl in the world. But you know what I mean.”

“I do. I feel like you are asking me a different question,” Tore said, and blew some air through a barrel before beginning to reassemble the construction. “I prefer if you ask me the question, Loki. I am not good at talking in circles.”

“Look… It feels weird to be a guy when I look like… this,” Loki finally managed, and leaned against the wall. 

“Do you want to look different?” Tore finally got up and walked over, making eye contact in that way that made Loki feel very vulnerable. Mumbling was the only option.

“...no.”

With a hand on Loki’s cheek, Tore made eye contact. “Then is looking like this the problem, or is it being a man?” she asked.

“I don’t want to answer that question,” Loki said. “I’m scared.”

“There is nothing to be scared of here, pup. I am not going to bite.” She paused and smirked softly. “Much.” Loki’s eyes grew a little wider, and Tore slowly closed the distance. “If… if you…” Tore’s voice was softer than what Loki was used to. Vulnerable, uncertain. Insecurity was a rare sight when it came to the large mercenary. “If you want to be a woman, Loki…” her voice trailed off, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Their bodies were close together, now. When had that happened? The other woman felt larger, despite the both of them being the same size. It felt like Loki was looking up at her.

“Yeah?” 

“I could show you,” Tore finally said. “If you want to.” 

“I--” Loki said, and a lot of thoughts happened at the same time. A lot of them weren’t very nice thoughts. They’d been a long time coming, but that didn’t make them any more fun to have. But they were necessary thoughts.

Malcolm, Loki thought, was miserable. I was miserable. I’m… not, now. That was a big step forward already. How big of a step was too big? How far do I -want- to take this. And then, with that realization of ‘want’, the penny dropped, the curtain fell, and the bomb went off. Background noise became foreground music.

“Yes,” she said. “I think I’d like that.” She let herself slump into Tore’s arms, realizing that this, too, was something she wanted, denying herself because of… reasons? Fear? Insecurity? But none of that, now. She was going to embrace who she was and try to find an outlet for the tidal wave of feelings that welled up from inside her. Loki thought of herself as a woman for the first time in her life, and before she knew it, she was sobbing in Tore’s arms, who had scooped her up like it was nothing and carried her to the sofa. 

“Your training,” Tore said, her voice straining a bit, “is paying off. You have gotten -hrm- heavy.” She sat down and Loki curled up against her. “How do you feel, little pup?”

“I’m okay,” Loki sniffed. “Sorry for collapsing when you were being all… y’know…” She let the words hang in the air, hoping the implication was going to carry it where it was supposed to go. 

“I think I would like to hear you say it,” Tore said, a smug little smile on her lips. Cruel.

“You know, all…” her voice grew quiet, almost a whisper, “flirty and dominant and hot.” Tore laughed quietly but happily, and ran her fingers through Loki’s hair. Oh. She barely avoided whimpering when Tore’s fingers stroked her scalp softly. 

“There is always time for me to be those things, pup,” she said, and smiled softly. “I think I will manage to find them again when the time comes.”

“When the time comes for what?”

“You are being deliberately obtuse, and it is very cute.” That got to her. Loki blushed. For the first time in her life, someone called her cute, and she was a six foot tall amazon now. ‘Cute’ was the last word she’d use to describe herself, but here she was, being flustered. How dare. Tore absentmindedly stroked Loki’s hair as she looked down at her. “You are a woman,” she said, slamming Loki with another sledgehammer of an emotional gut punch. “How does it feel?”

“It feels… I don’t know,” Loki said softly, and then again. “I don’t know. But I like it. I want to stay… here. I don’t want to look for another, like, body. One that looks like my old one.” She sighed, and closed her eyes when Tore ran a finger over her cheek, sending shivers down her spine. 

“Good,” Tore said. “For one thing, we cannot afford a new body. But there is a much more important reason.” Loki opened one eye to look up at her, and Tore grinned wolfishly at her. “I like you much better like this. Much prettier.”

“I mean, that’s just because you’re gorgeous,” Loki mumbled in response, and then her eyes shot open when she realized what she’d just said. Tore’s grin grew wider. 

“Yes,” she said. “I know, but I like to hear it from you anyway, pup.” Loki felt herself squirm in bashful embarrassment. Part of her wanted to hide her face in shame. The rest of her wanted to do… other things. 

“You’re still calling me pup,” she finally managed. “I thought you called me that because my old name didn’t fit me anymore.” Tore nodded softly, her fingers still drawing intricately soft patterns on Loki’s scalp.

“Would you like me to stop?” she asked, putting Loki on the spot for what felt like the hundredth time in as many seconds. 

“Well, no…” 

“Then I call you pup because you’re my pup,” Tore said. Loki blushed more and, ironically, mewled in soft protest. There were no pillows in reach to hide her face behind. She was being bullied. It was rude. “And you are very precious now that you know you are a woman, my Loki.” Putting out the fire with gasoline, if anything.

“Aaa.”

They sat like that for a bit, Loki trying to look at and then avoid looking at Tore’s eyes, which were fixed on her. The woman’s confident and calm expression was comforting, in a terrifying, heart-pounding kind of way. She had no idea how to deal with this, someone who could pick her up and hold her like that, and still made her feel safe. 

“I’ve been thinking about names,” she said, her mind bouncing from one end of the room to the other, trying to gather herself. Tore looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “Loki was a stopgap, I think. A name to let me explore myself. I’ve been wanting to try a different one for some time, but I wasn’t sure if... I want to keep it, don’t get me wrong. Loki, I mean. Maybe as a professional name, once we go to work together.” She chewed her lip.

“But?”

“I think I want another one. If I’m going to get to be a woman…” Tore interrupted her with a kiss to the forehead, indicating to her that, yes, she was. She blushed when the woman pulled away again. “A-anyway… I would like another name, then. A private one.”

“A name just for me? I am flattered, pup.”

“Hush, you. I mean one for those who get in close, yes.”

“Have you thought of one, yet?”

“There’s a few I like, but I want to try one out.”

“Let me make sure I understand,” Tore said, drawing little circles on her skin with fingers that were soft with care and rough with experience. “You would have two names, one as my… companion, and one for when you are vulnerable?”

“I think so.”

“It is a good idea. I am much the same.”

“Oh? You have another name? What is it?”

“Tssk, not like that, pup. You are going to have to earn it. What name have you been considering for yourself?” 

“I quite like the name Cassandra,” she said, not quite pouting at Tore’s carefully measured and secretive answer.

“It is a good name,” Tore said, and then just looked at her. Even with all of her confidence, the newly minted Cassandra could tell she was making an effort to hide the fact that she was breathing a little heavy.

“Tore,” she finally asked. Tore just nodded in response. Cass bit her bottom lip, thinking of how to phrase this. She felt like there was a certain way these things went, and she was more than a little confused. Not that she had a lot of experience here. She’d never been knowingly gay with a woman before. This was all uncharted territory for her. “Why…. hmmm… why haven’t you kissed me yet?” 

Tore’s laugh rang through the room like a song, a ballad to joy. “Because, pup, I only take things that are not mine when I am at work. You want something, I am afraid you will have to offer it freely.” 

“You monster,” Cassandra whispered. She lay there for what felt like another eternity while she figured out what she wanted to do. Finally, she pushed herself upright, and sat next to Tore for a moment, wringing her hands. A deep breath. Then, in one quick move, before her burst of confidence melted away, she put one leg over Tore’s lap, wrapped her arms around the woman’s neck, and kissed her.