Consultation 15.
"God, how do I eat a chocolate?"
“Are you stupid?” I started clicking my pen with my right hand in annoyance while I rested my face on the palm of my left hand. I looked at the loli across from me with a look best described as, ‘Are you here to waste my time?’
“I’m serious. I’m not stupid either.”
“You’re really serious right now?”
“Yes.” She had very earnest eyes that fully displayed her eagerness to learn.
“Look, you need to be this tall to receive life counseling from me.”
“I’m 24! What does my height have to do with this?”
“24? Is that the lie you wrote down on the form to get through screening?”
“I swear, it’s true! Look, here’s my driver’s license.”
“Tsk.” It was legit.
“You sure it’s not forged?”
“It’s real, I swear!”
“Haaaaah. Fine. I’m getting paid anyway I guess.”
“Let’s see, to eat chocolate you must first melt it down in a pot. Once you do that find a guy, push him down then restrain his limbs so he can’t run away. Rub his crotch a bit until it is solid in preparation to eat the chocolate. Dump the boiling hot chocolate on his dick to let it cool down. Once it solidifies you will have a chocolate banana. The next step is to open your mouth wide, insert the chocolate-covered banana into your mouth, and then...”
“What? Then what?” Her eyes were sparkling eager to learn how to eat chocolate.
I smiled sinisterly, “You bite down into it hard enough to tear a piece off.”
“Amazing!”
No way. Wait. I thought she was just pretending to be childish. She seriously looked like she’d eaten up every word I told her.
“Uh, by the way, I was kidding, that’s not how you eat chocolate.”
“What do you mean it’s not? Would God lie to me? You know, I don’t like… being lied to.” Scary. Her eyes were scary as hell.
“Uh… no I actually wasn’t lying.”
“Great, I’m going to go try eating some chocolate now. Bye bye.”
I squinted my eyes and slowly averted them to the side, not willing to watch the back of the departing monster with the childish appearance that I may or may not have unleashed upon men as a result of my awful advice.
This is not my fault. The world is to blame. It’s society’s fault. Definitely not mine. I didn’t do anything wrong here. I only did my job and gave out some shitty advice. It’s in my job description, okay?
ok he not only helps monsters, but also creates monsters
PS. White chocolate, as well as red chocolate in liquid state, spurted out when I tore it off.
Well done, you did it right then lol.
@KiraMinoru Ive been looking for the perfect mold to use for my chocolates and this chapter just enlightened me to find a vessel for me to pour the molten chocolate into and put the vessel inside a freezer. The soft elastic texture outside really gives out the best feeling as I took a bite with red chocolate oozing out of the edible chocolate mold each time I chew and to top it off the sweet taste of chocolate mixes up with the acidic taste that is inherently from the vessel I used.
@DonutEatingDoggo do i want to know what the vessel is?
God f*cked up this time. He f*cked up big time actually.
This sort of advice is like creating a canibalist.
As a god does he have any super natural combat powers?
His advice is clearly supernatural in the fact that it combats all these crazy waifus every day. But jokes aside, probably not. Unless someone gives a scenario with a question that forces such a power out of him.
@KiraMinoru How the hell will he defend himself against these crazy woman than? Also I’d like to request a scenario where a hot normal goddess walks in to see him for advices but immediately turns into a crazy yandre who falls in love with him at first site by the way I’m talking about the kinda that stabs people.
You monster!!!
you meant "plot description" , right?