"Wha- what is this?!" (Random knight)
After the princess commanded us to give chase to Alcazar, I quickly snuck off to relieve myself behind a bush in the forest.

It was difficult to poo with all the explosions and loud sounds happening all around the forest...
All the foliage is dead in the nearby surroundings as well. So it took a lot longer to find a bush of some sort to hide behind.

When I eventually made my way back to regroup with the other knights...

"Ugh... I'm gonna vomit..." (Random knight)
All that was left of everyone was piles of half-melted armour and the intense stench of rotting flesh in the air.

"..."

Even the golden armour that should be beautifully adorned with gems that belonged to the princess was among the carnage.
All the gems are gone though, it looks like someone picked it clean...

"E- even the princess..." (Random knight)

I have to get out of here and back to the city to inform the royal family!

And I'd rather not stay here any longer anyway... I don't want to run into whoever did this...

I recall the princess mentioning Alcazar's name before I ran off to go relieve myself, so I'm assuming this was his doing.
Catching him by surprise at his old age was the only reason we managed to kill him when we ambushed him at his home.

If he's truly still alive and no longer burdened with old age, we're all doomed.

◇◆◇

 

I snuck around the forest and kept finding more and more bodies of my colleagues.

"E- everyone is dead..." (Random knight)

It looks like everyone was taken out with ease...

"..." (Random knight)

If I return as the only survivor, it's highly likely I'll be promoted.

I look at the corpse of one of my commanding officers.

"Even the higher-ranking noble knights got killed this easily... I don't want to die..." (Random knight)

What am I even doing here?

"S- screw this..." (Random knight)
I decided then and there that I'll run away from all this. I want to live.

I always dreamed of settling down in a nice and quiet town anyway.

After I made up my mind, I spent hours painstakingly burying everyone's body.
I used their armour as grave markers since the owner's name is engraved on the inside.

After I finished, I wiped my hands clean on my shirt and solemnly looked at my own armour marking a fake grave.

This grave now marks where my old life ended and my new life begins.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

 

I look at my beautiful wife who's holding my hand as I grip the reigns of our carriage tightly.

"What are you so nervous about honey?" (Wife)
My gorgeous goddess giggles at my restlessness.

We're on our way to the Royal Capital for a shopping trip.

It's been several years since that faithful day where my life was spared by a toilet break.

I haven't been back to the Royal Capital since. 

Instead of reporting back to the royal family, I fled to a quiet little farming village far away from any caverns.

There I met an enchanting angel who I'm now proud to call my wife.
I've spent my days in a blissful peaceful farming routine since.

Running away from a battlefield is a shameful act for a proud knight, but I'd rather be alive with shame than dead with pride.
I guess with that mindset I was never cut out for the knight lifestyle anyway.
I even sneezed when I was making my vows when I got knighted. They made me redo the entire ceremony that day... that's just one of many shameful un-knightly stories that I'll never tell my lovely wife.

Unfortunately, my wife has been begging me to go on a trip to the Royal Capital ever since our first anniversary.

She got fed up with my usual excuses for not wanting to visit the capital and now we're here, waiting in line in front of the city gates.

"Identification please." (Gate guard)

The previous elderly gate guard that I was friends with seems to have retired.
Fortunately, this new gate guard shows no signs of recognizing me.
If someone recognises me, there's bound to be severe punishment in store for me for defecting from the knight corps.

...I do recognize this new gate guard from somewhere though.

Isn't this the guy that used to guard the cavern near the Royal Capital?

Whilst I was worried about all sorts of things my wife skillfully exchanged some money for new identifications tablets with a smile on her face.

My stunning seductress looks excited to be visiting the capital.
She's been learning all she can from merchants that visit our farming town.
Learning how to identify yourself is one of the many things she coerced out of the visiting merchants.

◇◆◇

 

I continued looking over my shoulder, concerned that someone will recognise me.

"Honey look! There's an enormous clothing store! And they've even got a potion shop the size of a mansion!" (Wife)
Instinctively I feel a sense of unease when my wife points out the clothing store. We're going to be here for ages... 

The potion shop she was pointing at with glee, was the building that used to be home to the delvers guild.

That's odd, I figured those resourceful brutes would never run out of work. Did they relocate to a bigger building maybe?

"Let's go inside that clothing store first honey!" (Wife)

"O- oh... I'm just gonna have a look at that potion shop real quick first." (Random (former) knight)

She seemed slightly dissapointed, but her excitement quickly took the reigns as she nodded and gleefully ran into the clothing store.

Sigh...

I read the somewhat luxurious sign above the door of the potion shop. 
"Atelier Fortuna." (Random (former) knight) 

As I open the door, my eyes focused on the unmistakable sight of something that I hadn't seen in years, standing right behind the counter.

"Thank you for your purchase, please come again." (???)

"Wh- what!" (Random (former) knight)

I quickly close the shop door and back away from the windows of the shop so I'm out of sight from the people inside.

"H- how..." (Random (former) knight)

Behind the shop's counter was a person completely dressed in armour, casually ringing up an older woman that seemed to be purchasing a batch of potions.

But that armour... it's unmistakenly...
The exact same type of armour I used to wear. The distinct armour that was worn by my knight unit that got completely wiped out.

What is that doing here?

Was there another survivor like me? Is it a grave robber? Why are they wearing a full set of armour if they're just a shop clerk?

Dozens of questions rushed through my mind. For a while, I wondered if I should confront the potential grave robber.
After all, it must be a grave robber, I buried all my colleagues with my own hands. 
I didn't know all of them by name, but I counted all the chest plates that I put in front of each grave as a makeshift gravestone.
That's how I knew no one but me was left alive.

I eventually gave up on the idea of confronting the odd shop clerk. After all, what right do I have to chastise them?
My life as a knight was over the day I dug my own fake grave and ran away from the battlefield.

"..." (Random (former) knight)

"Are you okay sir?" (Civilian)
A concerned citizen that saw my panicked look as I was hiding next to the shop's window asked if I was alright.

"Huh? O- oh... th- these prices are outrages, haha..." (Random (former) knight)
I pretended to be a country bumpkin that was in shock from the prices inside the store.

"Haha! You must be talking about the lightning in a bottle! You could buy several mansions with that kind of money!" (Civilian)
The random civilian that was trying to comfort me seemed to gleefully make his own conclusion about why I looked so terrified though.

Huh? Lightning in a bottle?