Brief Breaking News: The Muffin Murderer
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Brief Breaking News! This is Noodler69 with the fastest news in on the net!

Folks, we’ve gotten wind of a serial PvP’er going by the username ‘Muffin Man’! From the one survivor who came across him, we’ve put together a description of this mass murderer: a cream white Wood Elf with curly golden hair and a pink button nose; he wears a blue, old-timey nightgown and walks around barefoot. If you see this Player, beware! Despite his innocent appearance, he’s killed over 123 Players already. Most of them were low-leveled scrubs but he’s managed to slaughter the mighty Karl, a level 69 [Axe Lord] with his devious muffins!

Thanks to the sacrificial efforts of many a search party, the Muffin Man’s general location has been narrowed down to the Shroom Caves region in Celumia! I urge any and all Myconid Players to take caution if they’re in the area. Unfortunately, they were unable to reveal his level or class. However, we believe it’s some obscure [Wizard] and [Farmer] mixture due to his Wood Elf background and magical abilities. We also estimate his class level to be, at the very least, the high eighties.

The streamer, Tinina23, has also encountered the Muffin Man. After her stunning defeat thanks to the hands of Flake and his raid party, she’s been working hard to improve her settlement. Even with her new and improved wall defenses, strengthened [Guards] and spells she’d managed to learn, she was unable to withstand the Muffin Man’s sinister baked goods. One of her viewers, however, recognized the skill he used to murder her as Granular Telekinesis, a skill used by level 30 [Wheat Wizards]. However, he also used Mass Dehydration to weaken the Myconid [Guards] stationed on the town wall. According to some skill experts, that’s a skill used by level 60 [Moisture Mages].

Speculation about the class of the Muffin Man will continue until someone with a good enough identification skill manages to survive his attack. This doesn’t seem likely in the near future, though.

Remember, if you’re under level 80, avoid the Shroom Cave region. If you have to venture there for any reason, protect yourself at all costs!

This has been Brief Breaking News with Mother’s Basement Studios! I’m off to change my bedsheets!

Check out my Discord to get pinged for updates and my Patreon for advanced chapters + exclusive content.

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