Sam and Meri successfully get up off their tired asses and swiftly move to throw a Returner at Pimpington’s unconscious body. He disappears, and the Return Gate’s sound rings out in the other room, followed by the sound of several Catfolk hissing at him.

“One more room, girls,” I do my best to motivate the two of them, but I’m running on empty. I hardly have much pep left for myself, let alone enough to share with the girls. “Don’t forget to take Pimpington’s sword. I can’t think of a better trophy to commemorate our victory here today.” Besides a certain head maid, who I really need to get out of my mind.

Sam groans, picking up the magical rapier where she dropped it. “Sure... oh?” As she’s on the floor, she notices something else and picks it up before I have a chance to zoom in and see what it was. Her hand was blocking the view as she took it, and I’m much too tired to care.

As the Princess rises, she grunts and begins fanning herself. “Can we take our armor off and send ‘em back to the Guild? I’m fuckin’ dying over here...”

“I shouldn’t have to explain why that’s a bad idea, Princess. It’d be shitty if there was a threat in the last room, but we can’t rule it out.”

More groaning, athough I’m sympathetic. “I just wanna take this shit off already...!!” Sam complains, sweating and sweating all the while.

“Master’s right, it’d be bad to take our armor off... Let’s get this done with, Sam... we just gotta check the chamber out and see where what the situation is like...” Meri stifles a yawn and moves in to wrap her arm around Sam’s shoulder. Sam reciprocates the gesture. Together, the two help each other up the stairs, pass Pimpington’s throne, and enter the last room arm in arm like the weary sisters they are.

In the deepest depths of the Pimpfort lies a large, D-shaped chamber. Most of the room is one gigantic mattress large enough that it could be mistaken for a small building. A mountain of pillows leading upwards lies at the bottom of this mattress, serving as a stairway to ascend the towering structure of softness. On each side of the stairway is a white, half-drawn silky canopy sheet that falls from the ceiling and sways gently from a small breeze pouring through the dungeon.

“What the fuck?” Sam looks up at the mattress fort in awe, making doubly sure she’s not hallucinating. “You don’t think all the Beastgirls are up there, do you Boss?”

“I can’t get a good angle on it with Taskmaster. You’ll have to climb it and find out.”

“Um... do you really think this is safe?” Meri takes a nervous step onto the pillow staircase, plopping her foot down to test the stability.

“It’s safer than another round with Pimpington,” I offer.

“Fair...” The brunette blushes and begins ascending together with Sam. Neither girl finds it difficult to climb, so they walk up the strange stairway of soft pillows with ease.

Once they reach the top, they’re greeted with two sights that stand out right away. In the center of the giant mattress lies a small mountain of even more fancy, ornate pillows. Atop this platform lies one last treasure chest, causing Sam’s eyes to light up as soon as she sees it.

Her time has finally come, and she’s already itching to crack that bad boy open.

The other thing that’s readily apparent at a glance is over a hundred beast girls laying around the mattress top, each tucked in with a comfy blanket and a luxurious pillow.

“Aww...! So cuuuuute!!” Meri instantly melts, but then reality hits her. “Um, h-how are we going to get them all home? And are we taking them to the Guild or to the Besthal Pet Shop?”

I kept saying we’d figure it out when we got there, but I still haven’t figured out a good answer now that we’re here. “I’d assume the Pet Shop, it’s not like anyone else in Dewhurst is after the Beastgirls... but there might be a roving butcher or two, so... Snow’s in the other room, I’ll ask when she returns.”

“Forget about that for a minute. Can I FINALLY go open my treasure chest?” Sam has a sudden resurgence in energy. She’s eager to get her new Goddess-gifted toy, especially since she was shafted the entire dungeon until now.

“Well, it’s not like they’re about to wake up any time soon. You might as well.” I smile as soon as I see the abundant joy my permission gives the Princess.

“Heck yesssss!" Sam starts running towards the raised platform of pillows with reckless abandon but falls over and starts inhaling through her teeth. “FUCK- CRAMP! CRAAAAAAAMP!” She holds onto her injured leg for dear life, hugging it and wincing on repeat.

I try not to laugh at the exhausted Princess’s exaggerated suffering, but it’s hard not to smirk... “Meri, do Her Highness a favor, please. Bring it down for her. Oh, and don’t forget to poke it, either.”

“Alright, Master! Sorry, Sam...” Meri scooches past the pained adventurer and hops onto the raised pillows. She pokes the ordinary-looking treasure box with her buckler’s sword. Thankfully, Luxy is not enough of a cunt to have made the treasure chest after the boss into a trap. No mimic here.

The Shield Maiden retracts her blade into her shield and picks up the box, taking it back to the cramping Princess. Sam eagerly snaps it away like a child waiting to unwrap a gift they’ve been begging their parent for all year long. “Let’s see what ya got for me, you damn Goddess! Gonna take an awful lot to get on my good side, but...”

Sam cracks the wooden lid open and immediately gasps. Reaching her hand into the wooden box, she grabs hold of something and slowly pulls it out. “Yep, this... this’ll do...” She blushes as her eyes begin twinkling. Sam takes out an ornate sword much, much bigger than the box could conceivably hold.

The blade is similar to her old one in that it still has a red hilt with gold trim and detailing, but any comparisons past that are an insult to her new weapon. This sword is one of the most impressive artistry displays I’ve ever seen on a tool for battle. Holding it aloft draws all eyes on its magnificence, and it seems to sparkle in the dim light of the Pimpfort.

“Well, that’s convenient.” I raise an eyebrow as I try to downplay my reaction. Did Luxy plan to give her this sword beforehand or is it a response to her sword being broken? Probably just a coincidence. By the sound of things, it doesn’t seem like the Goddess will be able to intervene very much for a while.

Admiring it from every angle, the young Princess lets out a dreamy sigh. “It’s everything I ever wanted...” Sam responds in a daze, her face nothing but smiles to the point where she almost looks like her loopy self from not even an hour ago.

Meri is no less impressed, but she has a noticeably different reaction to the weapon than we do. “It’s so pretty...! But... it kinda looks familiar. I can’t quite put my finger on why t-though...”

I squint my eyes and think aloud, “Now that you mention it, it does look rather distinct... does it look familiar to you, Sam?”

“Of course, it looks familiar. It’s my baby...” Sam hugs it like a mother cradling her child from the cold. “Do you think it’s magic?!” Her eyes somehow find a way to twinkle even more as she considers the possibility.

“Probably, but Zutiria isn’t here to appraise it. You’ll have to wait a few days for her to wake up or for Opal to get back from Dawnstead.”

“Hey, wait a second...” Meri bends over and looks in the treasure chest before pulling out a second piece of loot. In her hands, she holds a tiny wooden box that has the letters ‘GM’ emblazoned upon it. “This one must be for you!”

Huh. I wasn’t expecting anything for myself. “I’ll have a look at it sometime tomorrow,” I let out a yawn and briefly take my glasses off to rub the crust from my tired eyes. “We have a more pressing matter to attend to, anyway...”

Sam slings her new sword into her the strap on the back of her armor. She finds it fits like a dream, then Sam and grunts as Meri helps her to her feet. They look around at the endless number of sleeping Beastgirls scattered around the large chamber. As cute as they are, we need to find a way to get them home...

“H-How are we gonna take them all back to the Pet Shop...? Me and Sam are... um...” Meri yawns an adorable, squeaky yawn and blushes.

“Yeah, Boss... I’d rather go cuddle up to some of them and take a long, LONG ass nap if I’m honest.”

“When aren’t you honest?” Meri giggles.

“I’ll remember that,” Sam squints her eyes playfully, no doubt plotting some sort of sexual revenge.

“E-Eh?!” The Shield Maiden shies away from her bratty, vindictive Guildmate.

“Give me a few minutes to think about it... I’m sure I’ll... ah... figure out something... probably.” This was one hastily planned rescue, even I admit. There’s really not much I have in mind that could help us out...

The office door opens behind me, and I turn to face Snow, who gives me a polite, yet cold curtsy. It’s a strange sight, having a maid give you a curtsy while wearing a black tracksuit. “Guild Myaster, we’re doing taking care of the pimp. Even though you said it wasn’t necessary, his wounds have been treated, and he’s being held in thorough bondage as per your request.”

“Already? That was fast...” I move the screens out of the way to get a better look at Snow.

“Cherry and I had help, nyaa. You have several guests waiting to see you. Shall I let them into your office?”

“...Guests?”

Before I can question further, I hear the sound of a woman’s heels clacking against the hallway’s wooden floor. A familiar, deep voice calls out to me as Snow moves out of the way to let the approaching figure in.

“Honestly, Dear... I’m gone for five fucking days- just five- and upon my return, there’s a giant castle made of golden penises taking up a third of the city. Not only that, but that very same castle’s owner is tied up in your storage closet. A storage closet that I might add is not filled with useful items for adventurers, no, but instead is now apparently home to enough sex toys to fill the holes of every woman in the Realm and then some.” Opal crosses her arms and lets out a sigh before cocking her hip to the side and giving me a warm, motherly smile. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but I shouldn’t be surprised at this point.”