DetectiveRed

Cw self-hate, internalised transphobia and mild body horror. This chapter is a doozy but I like it. Im sad i couldnt incorporate swooping in Maggie's move set, maybe next time.

Everything was ruined. Things were finally starting to look up. I had friends. For once people didn’t think I was weird or creepy or annoying, and I’d ruined it. I tried to get more than I deserved, I asked for too much and everything fell apart. As it should have.

“Angie,” Clay started. It didn’t matter what they were going to say. I was stuck in a body I didn’t deserve. They were probably going to try and comfort me, but what would be the point in that when the others would probably see me as a freak, or just a girl Justin. I didn’t want to be a girl version of my old self. I wanted to be someone else.

“Astrus, teleport me back to the park,” I shouted. I was going to scare people by yelling, but I didn’t care. I was going to yell, I was going to be a monster regardless, so why keep trying to be quiet? I was going to go back to my original body and then I was going to give up on all this friendship stuff. It wasn’t for people like me. 

The park appeared around me. It was a surprise to see that everything was where we left it. It felt like so much time had passed since I was playing basketball happily and freaking out over getting called cute, but it was only a couple of hours ago. The table we’d been using hadn’t even been cleaned up, which was helpful. It meant there should be a half drunk can of the soda there. I’d throw away this fantasy. I’d go back to being normal, and all I had to do was take a drink. I held the can like it was the most precious and awful thing on the planet. Part of me wanted to throw it, just enjoy living the beautiful lie that was Angelica, but the rest of me knew it would never work. I’d always be a fake. I brought it up to my lips and said a quiet farewell to the body that had given me such a brief sense of completeness, then chugged it as quick as I could.

“Angie, stop!” Clay shouted. But it was already too late, there was nothing left and any second my body would start changing.

“I am Justin!” I shouted, except it wasn’t my voice. My throat was swelling. I could feel it; how had the others dealt with this? I guess they didn't, they just passed out. I couldn’t breathe. Was I suffocating, was this how I was going to die?

“Are you okay?” they asked. 

“I’m fine.” My voice boomed through the park. It had been so quiet before. Where was everyone? My airways opened and I took a deep breath. Who knew breathing could sound masculine? 

“You are not fine, you need to morph.”

I wanted to respond, but all I could do was scream. A series of snapping and popping sounds were destroying my ability to hear. They were coming from inside of me. Was my face changing? I didn’t even feel anything close to this last time, why did it hurt so much now? Then the itching started, my chin and upper lips were unbearably itchy, but my arm wouldn’t respond to the command to scratch. They looked like they had been through a medieval rack, they were longer than they should be. How had I not noticed? What was happening?

“Astrus, can you force her to morph?” Clay’s muffled pleading broke through the ringing left behind by the pops and cracks. 

My legs gave out as they started cracking and as my insides started screaming at me to just listen to Clay. If I morphed it would be over, all this pain would be gone, but I’d be a girl again. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t allow myself to get caught up in that dream. Did the others feel like their insides were being scooped out when this was happening to them?

“Angie, please listen to me and morph.”

It wasn’t meant to hurt this much. Why was going back to normal so painful? Why did every part of me look so wrong? Why was I turning into a monster?

“You’re going to go into shock if you don’t morph. There’s a reason everyone else was unconscious.” 

“I don’t care,” I screamed. That seemed like the only thing I could do now. I heard their communicator, but it was hard to make out what they were saying. My skin was burning, and my arms were developing patterns where the skin was becoming taut. 

“Gold, you need to morph. There’s a new monster, and everyone else is unconscious or unable to morph. We can turn you back to normal after. You just need to say your morphing call.”

------

“Astrus, you can’t be serious about sending her in. I could hear her screaming.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s the only way,” he said. What was he thinking?

“No it isn’t. I’ll go help Clay.”

“If you morph, you’ll be out until your body finishes changing.”

“Then I’ll fight unmorphed. I’m not risking my teammates again, Astrus, and I’m not making her fight.”

“You’ll get hurt if you try and fight unmorphed. Your reflexes aren’t what they usually are, Joanne.”

“That’s not stopping you from sending her in, while she’s exhausted? Why are you willing to put her in harm's way but not me?” I’d never seen them look this tired. Maybe I was being unreasonable, but I’d already hurt my friends enough. I didn’t want to risk it. 

“What I’m about to say, stays between us, okay, Joanne? It’s because if you put yourself in danger right now, Gold --”

“Her name’s Angelica.”

“Angelica will be more reckless. She is fragile at the moment, and fragile people are more likely to try and sacrifice themselves. If you get hurt, she will throw herself at the problem. I have seen it too many times, Joanne, and I’m not losing any more kids because of heroic sacrifices.”

“She’s alright,” Clay said. Astrus’ glowing face returned to a more relaxed expression. He was right, she was reckless and Clay said she was alright which was a slight relief, but it didn’t make me any more comfortable sending her out to fight. “But after this fight, we need to talk to her properly.”

“Good work, Clay. I’ll patch you through to Joanne, she’ll be here to lead.” Astrus said. An image appeared on the screen behind him, a vending machine, branded with the same logo as the cans we had drank from. “It’s called Gender Vendor.”

“Do all of these things have stupid names?” Clay asked. 

“Joanne, you need to keep an eye on the battle. Be their eyes and make sure they don’t do anything stupid,” Then Astrus disappeared. Leaving me alone to watch my friends try and deal with this monster that had caused so much havoc.

“I guess they do,” I needed to keep calm and reply to Clay’s banter. “Ignore the Anemobots, go straight for the glass.”

“Whatever you say, commander.” 

On the screen Angie and Clay were circling the monster, while the Anemobots watched. Were the ‘bots waiting for an opportunity to stop them? Or were they just observing?  Their face’s betrayed nothing. They were more like masks than anything. I saw twitches coming from two of the bots behind Angie. 

“They are about to attack Angie. She needs to go in now. Clay, back her up.” I instructed. I tried to ignore the masculinity in my voice. I sounded like I was barking orders even while trying to be gentle. A life feeling like this could destroy someone. 

“Gold, go for it!” Clay shouted, as they pulled out their pistol and shot at the two bots that were ready to jump Gold. Perfect execution.

“Good job you two. Angie, try and find a weak point.”

“I’m Justin,” she murmured into her mic. She sounded like she was ready to cry. I wanted to pull her out of battle.

Gold responded wordlessly, her moves definitely quicker than they used to be. Was it because of her smaller size? After all that screaming she must have been exhausted, so how was she able to move so much faster? She started pounding the glass, her strikes more precise than when she’d fought Brain Drain. She was doing as I’d asked, but to no avail.

“Good luck, princess. This is acrylic,” the creature bellowed. 

“What do I do?” Angie asked. Hearing her voice louder was reassuring, it was a sweet sound, even while a little hoarse, but it was good to know there was no permanent damage.

“We are gonna have to shake it up a little.” Clay said. One liners were supposed to be the leader’s thing. 

“How much shaking does it take to make a can of soft drink explode, Clay?” I asked. Was this seriously the plan we were going with.

“We are about to find out.”

Gold got to one side of the creature and started pounding at its sides, and after jumping away from the bots attacking them, Clay got on the other side.  The creatures pupils rattled around like they were googly eyes. It would have been a lot more funny if I wasn’t so angry at the damn thing. 

“I’m gonna blow!” it shouted, as my friends jumped away from it.

 The pair landed as the explosion roared behind them. It wouldn’t be that easy. I knew it wouldn’t be. 

“Great job you two!” I said. I needed to reassure them. I waited for the creature to get up again, that’s how these fights always went. If I was able to get out there, I could help with Thorny, but that would require morphing. 

“Feast and rise again!” A voice from the sky shouted.

“Call your mechs.” I instructed.

I heard their mech calls, and the bay doors opening from behind me. This nightmare would soon be over.

“What do we do now? The only mechs we have are a bird and a kangaroo?” Angie asked. “It will fall over if I punch it.”

“Then knock it over, Angie.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Sorry not gonna happen.”

“Not the time you two.” Clay said.

“Just knock it over. Clay can Maggie peck?”

I heard a crash and looked up at the monitor. She knocked over the creature with one punch. what was with the protest, I refused to use any other name than the one she had chosen for herself. Not after earlier. Not after the third huge leadership screwup.

“They are a bird of course they can peck!”

“Peck out it’s glass.”

“But that didn’t do anything.”

“A peck is different from a punch. It’s like a hammer versus a pickaxe”

“Good point.”

The sound of scratching plastic rang through the command center. It was disgusting, but the creature was going to suffer for hurting my friends. 

“How are you doing this?” the creature screamed as it’s window cracked. 

“Angie, knock him on his front.”

“I’m not Angie!” she yelled as she kicked the thing over and an explosion enveloped the scene.