311 – Aoko Ryuusei – [Highway Robbery V] Messing around to unwind (END)
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The screen dimmed, turning dark. And when it returned, the city had turned to daytime, leaving Aoko standing on the sidewalk in front of a hospital.

The game screen had changed to show her standing there in third person, while her perspective camera looked she was having a videochat with the viewers.

[joyfulWasp] XD Queen actually died!
[spiritedBuck] Quick! Are you still alive in real life?
[Zilfallion] So if you die in the game, you *don't* die in real life

Aoko looked around and then groaned. "Goddammit. I *just* got my car back in real life and you bastards blow it up in the game. This is why I can't have nice things. Freaking just like my subordinates used to be..."

[forsakenWildfowl] Nani?
[cruelMeerkat] Wait. So was Aoko really a sect leader or something?
[eagerOrange] *GASP* Are you the Drag-On Queen?!

Aoko scratched her hair and then spun around, looking at her surroundings. "And I don't know where the hell I am in the game either. Tch." She shook her head and then waved her hand in front of her. "Let's see... There."

A phone plopped down in front of her. As it did, the camera feed showing her face moved to match the phone.

[similarLard] That's cool!
[pridefulCake] More evidence that John's a time traveler.
[importedMallard] What is- I don't even... HOW?!

[zestyLlama] Eeey. That's the new jPhone!
[guiltyCardinal] Queen's living it large, huh?
[worriedOtter] No wonder she's playing 'Highway Robbery...'

[MIRAIZ 🔧] <GoldenOrca: 250 USD> run script: spawn BMW

A shadow flickered, covering Aoko's body.

"Hm?" She looked up and then cursed before diving out of the way. "@#[email protected]#! Orca, you bastard!"

A black BMW landed right where Aoko had just been standing, bouncing against the ground a bit after it landed.

Aoko glared at the phone and then said, "That's it. I'm turning this off until I figure out how it works." After saying that, Aoko reached out to tap the camera.

[crushedPepper] No!
[enviousOcelot] But the funnies!
[monswoon] Memes! They're the DNA of the soul! You can't take it away from us!

Aoko's feed blinked out, leaving just the third person view of her standing in front of the BMW. "There." She walked over and leaned against the side of the car, scrolling through her phone. "What the hell did Titor do when he updated this place anyway?"

[Hana Homura Ch. 🔧] Lots of fun stuff, Aneue!
[Alfi Titor Ch. 🔧] XD Uncle Titor made it so the chat can interact a lot, didn't he?

[vengefulQuiche] Praise Lord Titor, King of Trolls
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <StraightGarbage: 25K yen> THERE WILL BE BLOOD
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <Automated Message> @StraightGarbage Error. Scripts are temporarily disabled. Your account has been credited the funds used. Please try another command.
[StraightGarbage] Aw... Wait. Another command...?
[GoldenOrca] @StraightGarbage You should read the documentation
[MIRAIZ <M?] <GoldenOrca: 100 USD> :alfi_confession:


A soft and hesitant female voice.

Aoko froze and then looked up. When she did, she flinched and jumped off the car. "A-A-Alfi?! What the hell are you doing here?"

Right. It was Alfi. But it wasn't just Alfi. It was Alfi wearing a frilly white blouse and dress combo, paired with a lacy hat and pink boots. Like she was dressed for a date.

[scornfulBuck] OOOHHH.
[finickyRat] YO! No one said Alfi's gift was integrated already!
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <Anumi-kun: 100 USD> <Automated Message> 100 USD has been credited to <ADMIN: Titor>

[selfishRaisins] We can give money directly?!
[affectedDoughnut] Holy crap. The MIRAIZ app is crazier than I thought...
[gleefulFalcon] The gift shop is open now! :sparkleeyes:

Aoko glanced at her phone and then shook her head. "You bastards-"

"U-Um..." Alfi spoke up again and then reached up, tugging on the collar of her blouse. "I-It's a bit embarrassing, but..."

[Alfi Titor Ch. 🔧] NOOOOOOOOOO! You meanies! Aoko! I don't mean it! Don't listen!
[Hana Homura Ch. 🔧] OMG. I need to remember this...
[finickyRat] Um. @Titor This is cool and all, but isn't John going to be pissed...?
[John Smith ✓🔧] I am. Titor will be out of commission for a while.
[Ultimaterror] RIP Titor

Aoko took a step back. When she did, she bumped into the BMW. Glancing back at Alfi, her eyes started spinning and actual steam started appearing over her head. Her face turned a bright red and she stammered, "W-W-What are you s-s-saying? No, I-I told you to wait downstairs with Sis, right? Why are you up here?!"

"W-Well..." Alfi hesitated, turning a bright red. And then she took a deep breath and nodded. "I love you! There! I said it!" After that, she spun around and ran off, dissolving into golden light.

Aoko froze for a moment. And then she keeled over, eyes spinning. After that, the screen dimmed again, replaced with a single line of text.


[wakefulTeal] XD
[mercifulPudding] I'm dead!
[alertChile] SHEEESH

[needyPaella] A-Alfi! Calm down!
[Hana Homura Ch. 🔧] I'll be back. Onee-chan just locked herself in the bathroom- Aaand she's screaming out of embarrassment.
[asian_steven] It looks like the emotional damage went both ways, haha

[GoldenOrca] Um.
[Alfis_Knight] @GoldenOrca May the lord have mercy on your soul because you have committed a grave sin against our Goddess today.
[peskyCurlew] Crowd control was a mistake.
[Alfis_Paladin] @GoldenOrca Friend! You should let us know when you're in Japan again! We know a great sushi restaurant!
[Kornuptiko] :sweat: The Alfis are scary.
[Ohana_dayo] I thought *we* were overprotective...

[Rhea Davinki Ch. 🔧] Now I'm motivated!
[Miya Musashi Ch. 🔧] Love really makes people different, huh?
[zestyRice] @Miya Musashi Ch. 100%

[guiltySardines] So like... are we gonna wait here for a whole Aoko as Queen recovers?
[cockyDoves] It can't be *that* long. Can it?
[forsakenCamel] Queen *is* the Queen of delayed streams as well...

Just then, a gasp echoed.

The dimmed screen came back and showed Aoko standing in front of her car, holding her heart. At the same time, her body was blinking in and out of existence.

"T-That was dangerous. I think I just saw my mom..."

[cockyDoves] Isn't Queen's mom dead...?
[loreowl] So a direct confession is enough to reach the golden gates...
[Anumi-kun] @loreowl Alfi lore thread when?
[mellowHare] Alfinite is dangerous in raw form...
[sincereRat] Even the Dragon Queen can't resist the perfect android, huh?

Aoko shook her head. As she did, her body stopped blinking in and out.

It looked like her cellphone had fallen to the ground when she collapsed, so Aoko reached over to pick that up. When she did, the right side of the video screen rippled before popping up with a video chat showing Aoko's flushed face. She pointed at the screen and said, "You bastards! That was a cheapshot! I don't know who did it, but-"

[yearningTortoise] GoldenOrca
[solemnCardinal] It was Orca-san
[excludedLeopard] Our resident Oil Prince
[FailureFox] 100% GoldenOrca
[StraightGarbage] Yep. All that guy's fault.
[GoldenOrca] @StraightGarbage Et tu?!

Aoko blinked and then crossed one arm under her chest, glaring at the screen. "Orca, you bastard. And here I was starting to think you were alright."

[GoldenOrca] orz
[truthfulDunbird] Serves you right, you Oil Prince
[cruelPaella] Yeah! Money can't buy respect!
[GoldenOrca] I've been tricked, bamboozled, framed! This is a plot to ruin my good name!
[FailureFox] @GoldenOrca Stop with the rhyming. It's cringe.
[jetstreamsamuel] @FailureFox Based
[FailureFox] @jetstreamsamuel KYS
[jetstreamsamuel] :dies of cringe:

Aoko reached up to fix her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. "Whatever. I guess this is Titor's fault for being such a troll. I need to yell at him about that... No, I should go tell Ama-chan. She'll rein him in."

[ardentDinosaur] Ama-chan?
[amusedDunbird] Wait. Is Titor married too?
[worldlyMare] You mean that hot babe helping at the Expo is that cringelords wife?!

"Hm? Yeah." Aoko nodded and said, "Don't know what she sees in the guy, but Ama-chan's definitely with Titor. She has the patient of a goddamn saint too with what she puts up with." Aoko looked around and said, "But forget about that. What the heck am I going to do now? I wanted to drive around a bit, but now I'm not in the mood for it..."

[MIRAIZ 🔧] <[shamefulRuffs]: 250 USD> run script: spawn cyborgs
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <[curiousSalt]: 250 EUR> run script: spawn Gojilla
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <Automated Message> Error. 'Gojilla' is undefined. Spawning 'Kaijuu' instead.
[emptyRat] Ahahaha. So the crowd control works when Queen has the phone, huh?
[mischievousmonkey] You smart magnificent overseas bastards. Let me in on this.
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <mischievousmonkey: 25k yen> run script: set wanted max; explosions; kamikaze marshmallows

A giant roar in the distance. Shortly after, a towering dinosaur appeared in a flicker of golden sparks.

Golden lightning struck all around Aoko, turning into dozens of armored cyborgs wielding swords.

Police sirens echoed in the distance, followed by explosions as the building started collapsing all around.

And then, falling from the sky, giant marshmallows started plummeting towards the earth, erupting in explosions of white goop.

Aoko slowly lowered her phone, staring at the chaos around her. As she did, her left eye started twitching. "This was supposed to be a fun stream. This was supposed to be me driving, drifting, doing cool tricks. Ha. Haha."

[Anumi-kun] Um.
[vengefulQuiche] I... think Queen's about to snap.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Aoko threw her head back and laughed, tossing her phone to the side.

The video chat feed filled with static before shutting off.

[pleasedFalcon] HOLY CRAP!
[dearWeaver] SHE'S SNAPPED!

The cyborgs started closing in on Aoko, raising their swords. At the same time, helicopters started approaching, aiming turrets at Aoko.

She grinned. As she did, azure flames started flowing around her, forming horns and leathery wings. Not only that, but a glittering blue katana showed up in her right hand while the sapphire SMG from earlier showed up in her left.

"Mira-chan. Turn off the gore inhibitors."

[Play: Bury the Light/Eurobeat Remix]

[superiorTermite] OH GOD! BOSS MUSIC!
[guiltyShads] Nononono! Mira-chan! Don't listen!
[holisticQuiche] AAAAHHH! John! Help! Aoko's self-destructing!
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <StraightGarbage: 100K yen> run script: clear queue
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <Automated Message> Error. Aoko Ryuusei has locked scripts.
[StraightGarbage] [email protected]#[email protected][email protected][email protected]
[FailureFox] @MIRAIZ Don't do it Mira-chan!
[MIRAIZ 🔧] <Automated Message> Request Acknowledged. Turning on 'Gore.'


The screen flashed red. When it did, the ragdolled people from the explosions and attacking cyborgs turned into a mosaic of red bits.

[grizzledHawk] Oh. It's still censored.
[truthfulRice] THANK GOD
[pitifulBaboon] Wait. It's censored for us, but isn't Aoko still seeing the uncensored...?


Screaming those words, Aoko flew forward, slashing her sword and spraying gunfire in every direction.

Most of the screen was a blurry mess, actively censored from the mindless violence. But Aoko wasn't.

Her manic laughing face. Blood splatters covering her cheeks while her eyes gleamed red.

Instead of a dragon, at that moment Aoko took on the appearance of a Demon Lord straight from hell.

Screams of mercy. People calling out for god. Even that kaijuu letting out pained screams as Aoko flew towards it and ripped it apart with her bare hands.

"Hahaha! Oh yeah. This is *way* better than just driving. Should have started with this. Ha. Hahahahahaha."

[ohana_dayo] ...So we agree, right guys?
[Hanas_bigbro] Y-Yeah. Let's not do this to Hana...
[Alfis_Knight] Ah. So the reason why Alfi-sama embraced Aoko is because she had fallen. I understand now. Sasuga, Alfi-sama.

[rational_rabbit] ...I need a new hobby.

Crowd control was a mistake.