I sat stunned as his words sank in. I didn't know what to say, or even what to think.

"I'm sorry," he added. "It's nothing personal."

That insincere little twist of the knife immediately focused my thoughts and crystallized my mind.

"Bullshit Frank!" I glared at him and fought to keep my voice level. "Of course it's personal! You know damn well I'm on vacation next week. First time off in over a year, and you couldn't wait two goddamn weeks till I was back? You had to do it now."

Frank winced but he kept his expression neutral. He shook his head slightly and raised his hands in a little 'helpless' gesture, "It wasn't my decision. It came straight from corporate in Atlanta. It was out of my hands."

I was still glaring as I retorted "Don't give me that crap! That's exactly the sort of thing you and Harvey swore would never ever happen when you two sold out. You told everyone, any decisions about staff would stay right here. Then six months ago Harvey left, and now you're just a messenger boy."

Frank sighed, but he didn't try and argue. He shrugged, "I'm sorry. You'll get the standard severance package, and your group medical's good till the end of the year. Don't make me call security, ok? Just clear out your desk and leave your badge with the front desk on your way out."

I grit my teeth and bit back a few more angry comments. If I'd said what was really on my mind I'd definitely be getting the walk of shame with security.

I didn't even slam the door behind me as I left Frank's office. After twenty-five years, after helping build this company up from nothing, they were kicking me to the curb. I didn't believe Frank's bullshit about it being out of his hands. I had no doubt getting me off the payroll now meant a fatter bonus for him at the end of the year.

It was all short-sighted, short-term nonsense. Harvey was the real genius. I wasn't even sure if they got rid of him or he saw the direction the company was heading and left on his own. But with him gone back in March and me out now, I gave them another six months tops before the whole business was circling the drain.

I grabbed a box on the way back to my office, then got started loading it up. It wouldn't take long, I didn't actually have much in the way of personal things here.

There were a few little mementos, a couple industry recognition awards I'd won over the years, and a few old reference manuals I'd kept from way back. I took down all my pictures of Claire and carefully put them in the box. And I also took all the pens and notepads, just because. Then I turned and walked away.

As I made my way out through the front foyer I dropped my badge on the receptionist's desk and said "Take care of yourself, Mary. Goodness knows the company won't."

"Good luck mister Turnbull," Mary replied sadly as I left.

And with that I was done. I put my stuff in the trunk of my car and pulled away from work for the last time.

Rather than head straight home I wound up just driving around aimlessly for a while. I had no idea what I was going to tell Claire.

I wasn't sure what to do about our vacation plans either. The hotel was already paid for and I was pretty sure I wouldn't get that money back if I tried to cancel now. That would be over a thousand dollars down the drain. But if we went, then we'd be out of pocket even more on all the other incidental expenses. Gas, restaurant meals every day, and all the other things that came up along the way.

Eventually I came to a decision. I wouldn't tell Claire anything yet, and we'd go on the trip. That son-of-a-bitch Frank begged me to work through the summer to get that last big job finished ahead of schedule, so Claire and I postponed our summer trip. We were supposed to celebrate her nineteenth birthday in June. Our trip next week was to make up for that, and I couldn't disappoint her twice in a row.

Of course I'd have to tell her eventually, but I'd leave it till afterwards, when we got back. No point spoiling her fun too.

Thinking about her brought up another concern. Frank said my group medical was good till the end of the year. That was three and a half months away, but come January we'd be on our own. I had no idea how much Claire's meds would cost us after that. Right now the group plan covered it all since Claire was still listed as my dependent.

The coverage let me carry her on my policy until she turned twenty-five, and we figured she'd get everything done and squared away with her transition by the time she was twenty-two.

My stomach twisted as I thought about how to break that news to her. At least we had till the end of the year. I'd have to find out if we could maybe stock up on her meds, if her doctor or the pharmacy would be sympathetic and let us build up a little cache of them while we could.

And in the meantime I'd be trying to find myself more work.

On the one hand I had a few months to find a job that either had a good medical plan or paid well enough that we didn't need the insurance. I had a good reputation, two and a half decades of experience, and I had friends and contacts in the industry.

On the other hand I was almost fifty, most of the processing plants in this business had moved overseas, and the economy wasn't doing all that great. If I couldn't find anything in the same industry, I'd basically be starting over from scratch.

As I finally pulled into the driveway, I made another decision. If it came down to it, I'd just start pulling money out of my retirement fund to cover her medical expenses. After everything else that had gone against her, I wasn't going to let this be another blow to my daughter. She'd had to deal with more than enough already. I wouldn't let this hit her too.

I took a few deep breaths to make sure I was calm, to try and put on a happy face and just focus on spending the next ten days with my daughter, enjoying our vacation.

• • • • •

"Hey dad?" Claire asked. I recognized that tone, it meant she either had bad news, or she was going to ask a difficult question.

It was the first day of our trip, we'd been on the road just under two hours, and we were at least another forty-five minutes away from our destination. So whatever it was she wanted to talk about, I wouldn't be able to get out of it for some time.

I glanced at her and asked, "Yeah, what's on your mind hon?"

She hesitated, then asked "Tell me the truth, please? Did mom leave because of me?"

Damn. I knew this was going to come up sooner or later. I'd hoped for later. Honestly I'd hoped for never, but later was more realistic.

I took a deep breath, then let out a deep sigh. "Honey, no. I promise you, she didn't leave because of you."

Claire gave me a sad look, "I'm sure it was a factor though. Right?"

My stomach was doing flip-flops as I wondered how best to get out of this conversation. Janice was a pretty good mother, and a pretty good wife. When Claire came out though, it definitely changed things. That wasn't what drove Janice away, but it was a catalyst.

I replied, "It was a lot of things sweetheart. At the end of the day, it came down to differences between your mom and me that we just couldn't reconcile. It wasn't your fault. Please don't think it was, please don't blame yourself."

She was quiet for now, and when I glanced at her I saw the thoughtful frown on her face. She wasn't through with this topic yet, she was just working out her next move.

After a minute or two she asked, "Was it because you're so supportive? I know mom wanted me to wait. Maybe she was hoping it was just a 'phase' or whatever. I remember she even tried to blame it on the internet or something, she said people were influencing me."

I sighed again and tried to keep my voice level. My heart was racing though. "Like I said Claire, it was a lot of things."

"Please dad?" she sounded almost pleading now. "I need to know. I need to know what it really was, so I know it wasn't because of me."

I took another deep breath then nodded slowly. I kept my eyes on the road but I said softly "Ok honey. Just give me a minute, and be patient because this isn't an easy topic?"

"Ok dad," she sounded nervous, and I could see out of the corner of my eye she was watching me, and she looked worried.

I knew this would come sooner or later. I just hoped she wouldn't react as badly as Janice did. Logically I knew she wouldn't. I was sure Claire of all people would understand. She might be upset I'd kept it from her for so long though.

It took me another minute or two to get my nerves under control before I finally started talking. I kept my voice as level as I could, I tried to sound calm and quiet and relaxed. Well, that last one's probably a lie. Odds are I sounded anything but relaxed.

"Three years ago when you came out to your mother and me, it was a big shock. I'm sure you remember we were both floored. It led to a lot of soul searching in both of us. Your mom... She fell back on that religious stuff she was raised with. And uh, I don't like to speak badly of your mother but we both know how that went. For me though, I guess I tried to put myself in your shoes? I tried to think about what it was like for you, what sorts of things you were going through."

I took another deep breath and continued, "A lot of the stuff you talked about... To be honest Claire, the things you described really hit home for me. Some of it hit hard. It got me asking myself some very difficult questions, and shed new light on some thoughts and feelings I'd been ignoring most of my life."

My hands were sweating a bit now and my heart was racing as I got to the end. "I wound up questioning who I really was, wondering if I was really the man I thought I was. I started questioning my gender. And in the end, I came up with the same answers you did hon."

I glanced at her, but she was silent. She was staring straight ahead now at the road before us. She looked a little shocked, a little pale. She probably looked like I did three years ago when this conversation played out the other way around.

I gulped slightly, "When I tried to talk with your mother about it, she shut me down. Shut me out. That's... That was when it began. It wasn't you coming out, and it wasn't because I was behind you a hundred percent. It was because I tried to come out to her as well."

Finally I sighed, "We argued a few times. In the end I agreed to... Not forget about it, I guess I agreed to stay in the closet. To keep our family together. That wasn't enough for her though, and I think in the end she decided she needed to get out."

Claire was still quiet, but when I glanced at her again I could see tears in her eyes.

After another minute or two she asked "So you're trans? Why didn't you tell me before? Why keep it secret so long?"

"Like I said sweetheart, your mother shut me down. I kept quiet for the good of our family."

After a moment I added, "Things were chaotic at work too, the company was going through that take-over at the time and we were under a lot of scrutiny by the folks in the USA. I didn't want to risk rocking the boat there. Especially since I had you on my benefits plan."

I glanced at her again and gave her what I hoped was a supportive smile, "Anyways don't worry about me hon. I'm here to look out for you, that's how it works. Parents look after their kids, not vice-versa."

She wiped her eyes and sighed "I really want to give you a hug right now, but you're driving."

I smiled and reached over, and we held hands for a while.

I gave hers a gentle squeeze, "We're almost there. Once we get into the hotel and get settled, we can hug and talk more when I'm not focused on driving."

"Ok dad," she replied. "Um, is it ok to keep calling you dad? Do you want me to call you something else? And what about pronouns?"

That brought a blush to my face, "I'm... I don't even know how to answer that hon. You're only the second person I've ever told, and it didn't go so well the first time."

"Have you picked a new name?" she asked. "You don't have to tell me what it is if you don't want, I'm just curious if you've picked one."

I felt my cheeks burning a little brighter as I smiled. I nodded, "Yes, I've thought about names. And I have picked one. I'm not sure I'm ready yet to share it though."

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