"How can you still doubt this?" Claire asked quietly. "She knew stuff about us that she couldn't have known any other way. And she did the thing with the door, unlocked it by waving at it? And the biggest one, her entire appearance changed twice, right in front of us!"

I sighed but shook my head "I don't know hon? It's just unbelievable. The whole thing. It's impossible. You know there's no such thing as magic. There has to be another explanation."

We were having dinner, in a quiet booth at the back of a small restaurant. I was still sort of shaken by the whole encounter in that shop, and I'm sure my daughter was too. But where I was trying to stay rational and cautious, Claire seemed ready to believe the whole experience was real.

She frowned at me, "It has to be real. Nobody else in the world but me knew your name, or that you're trans. Even if the door thing was somehow faked, like remote control or something, there's no way to explain how she changed her age."

"I don't have the answers Claire," I sighed again. "I just know it can't be magic."

"Why not?" There was frustration in her voice now. "We both just witnessed a bunch of impossible stuff. Why are you so opposed to taking a chance on finding out it's for real?"

I shook my head slowly and ate some more of my dinner. I wasn't sure how to put it into words. Maybe I just wasn't sure how I felt about the whole thing. She was right, it seemed impossible. Maybe it all came down to the fact that I was too old to believe in magic or miracles.

Claire kept watching me, but she ate a bit as well.

After a few minutes she finally asked, "It's because you're scared, isn't it?"

I frowned at her, "What do you mean?"

"You're scared it'll turn out to be real," she replied quietly. "She was right, about you refusing to do anything for yourself. Refusing to accept any help for yourself. I think this scares you because if it turns out to be true, you won't have any more excuses to ignore your own needs and your own happiness."

As much as I wanted to deny that, her words hit a little too close to home. I found myself looking down at my food, unable to even meet her gaze at that moment. I just ate a bit more in silence after that, but I tried to look thoughtful, like I was considering what she'd just said.

We both ate quietly for a few more minutes. Eventually the silence was broken once again by Claire.

"Hey Clover?" she said softly. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be yourself."

I felt a little flutter through my stomach. She'd said my name a few times in the past few days, but that was just using it as a word. This was the first time she'd actually used it to address me. Though I knew she'd have been calling me that all along if I hadn't told her not to.

My cheeks coloured slightly and I kept my eyes down on my dinner as I replied softly, "This isn't the best place to have this conversation, hon. And I asked you not to call me that."

"I know you did." She kept her voice down as she spoke, and her eyes were still on me even though I wasn't able to face her. "But now I think you were wrong when you asked me not to use your name. You didn't complain or argue when Selene called you Clover."

She took a breath, then stated "You don't have to wait until my life is perfect before you start working on your own life. Because if you do, it's never going to happen. Life's never perfect Clover. That's just an excuse for you to keep putting your own happiness on hold, to avoid addressing your own needs."

I shook my head, "Claire please... We can talk about this later, in private."

"No." She was still keeping her voice down, she wasn't making a scene but she seemed determined not to let me get out of the conversation. "We're on vacation, we're two hundred kilometers from home, nobody here knows us. Nobody's listening to us talk, nobody cares what we're saying."

I sighed again, but I didn't know what else to day.

After a few seconds Claire said softly, "Clover... Dad. Look at me?"

I slowly looked up from my food, pulled my eyes up from the table, and almost reluctantly met her gaze. She'd been watching me the whole time, probably studying my face, my expressions. I could see the worry in her eyes, but also the determination.

I recognized that look from a few years back, when she came out to Janice and I. She was worried we'd react negatively, but determined to go through with it. Even if it meant we kicked her out of the house or disowned her or whatever. Now she was giving me that same look again, but this time it wasn't for herself. Now she was focused on me.

"Clover," she said in a quiet but firm voice. "You've spent the past three years worrying about me and my life and my happiness. I appreciate that, I can't put into words how much that's meant to me. But now that I know you're ignoring your own needs, sacrificing your own happiness... I can't let you keep doing that."

She took a deep breath then continued, "For three years you've been the best dad anyone could ever want. Now it's time to try being the best Clover you can be. Whether that means being my mum, or being my sister, or just being my best friend... Whatever it means, we can figure it out together. Let's go back tomorrow to see Selene again, and let's find out the details of this offer of hers."

Claire gave me a compassionate smile and added, "Whether or not we end up taking the offer, whether or not magic is real, we're going to stop ignoring your needs. From now on we're doing all this together, ok? You're Clover, you're a girl, and you deserve to be happy. And I'm going to help you get there. We can help each other."

I continued to stare at her after she stopped talking. I stayed quiet for now, I didn't know what to say. My emotions were churning though. I felt so many things all at once, it was almost overwhelming. I recognized pride, fear, happiness, and joy swirling around together within me.

I also felt embarrassed, as I tried to wipe some tears away as inconspicuously as I could.

As I stared across the table at Claire and her words slowly sank in, I realized in that moment that my little girl had grown up. It wasn't that she just grew up at that moment. She'd been growing up all along, especially over the past three years. That was the moment though when I finally noticed it. She'd always be my daughter, but she was much more than a vulnerable trans girl who needed her dad to shelter her and protect her.

I suddenly understood that for the past three years she'd been growing up right before my eyes, and I'd been too busy trying to look after her to even see it. I always knew she was brave, now I knew she was smart, determined, empathic, and caring too. I also recognized a little of myself in her. She had that fierce willingness within her, to move Heaven and Earth for someone she cared about.

I wound up using my napkin to wipe my eyes again as more tears threatened to burst forth as the next realization hit me.

After nineteen years of being her father, being her dad, of being the one doing the protecting and sheltering and making the difficult decisions, I was being relieved of those responsibilities. Claire was stepping up and taking over. And I knew I couldn't stop her. She was the one who had experience with this stuff. And she was braver and stronger than I'd ever been.

There was one last revelation that struck me right at the end, and with it came another little surge of tears. Claire wasn't going to let me devote all my energy to her any longer, because she wanted me to spend it on myself. She'd been trying to tell me that for days now, and it only just sank in now. I was allowed to be myself. And I was allowed to be happy.

Claire waited quietly for me to calm down again. I didn't even have to say anything, I was sure she could see the whole thing play out in my eyes and the expression on my face. It took another few minutes, but eventually the tears subsided and my emotions started to settle down.

Eventually I was calmed down enough, and she said softly "Maybe you getting laid off last week wasn't a setback or a negative thing after all. Maybe it's the thing that finally set you free. Now that you don't have those work obligations anymore, you don't have to worry about what your bosses or co-workers think of you, you're finally free to start being yourself."

I sniffed slightly, and blushed at my public display of emotions. Clover or not, I still had to get past almost fifty years of being told that wasn't acceptable behaviour for a 'guy'.

I finally replied, "Maybe you're right hon, but money's still going to be a factor. My group benefits are only good till the end of the year. And my severance will only last us till March."

Claire nodded, "I know. I don't have all the answers right now. Nobody ever has all the answers. We can't let that hold us back though. Sometimes we just have to take that leap into the unknown, and trust that we'll land on our feet. Even if it's scary, and even if sometimes we stumble and fall. As long as we get back up again and keep going, we'll be fine in the long run."

Once again she had that determination in her eyes and in her voice.

I took a few deep breaths, then picked up my glass and drained it of cola.

Finally I looked at her again and asked quietly, "So... What do we do next? Where do we go from here?"

She looked thoughtful for a few moments and had a sip of her own soda. Then in a confident voice she replied, "After we're done with dinner, we'll go back to the hotel and if you're up for it we can continue the rest of this conversation in private."

After a brief pause she added, "In the morning, we'll get up a little early so we can be at breakfast by nine. And we'll be at the door to Selene's shop for ten o'clock sharp, so we can meet with her before she gets busy. We're going to find out all the details of this offer of hers. Then together we'll make a decision. And after that, we'll see where it takes us."

We were both quiet again for a few minutes, and we wound up finishing our dinner in silence. As we waited for the waiter to come back and collect the dishes, Claire looked at me and asked "How are you doing?"

I sighed as I thought about it. After a few moments I looked back at her and nodded, "Better. Thank you hon."

She continued watching me closely, and asked softly "Are you ready to be Clover? Is that who you want to be?"

I wasn't expecting her to ask that. Especially after everything we'd just been talking about. Even thinking back to the shop, Selene never asked what to call me. And since then, Claire started using my chosen name as well despite me telling her not to. Now she was asking.

My cheeks coloured once more and I was tempted to say no. I had a feeling if I told her to go back to calling me 'dad' she would. She might even abandon the whole idea of pursuing this magic stuff, if I said I wasn't ready or didn't want to be Clover.

I felt another surge of emotions and had to blink back tears once more. I took a deep breath and forced myself to say it, albeit quietly. "Yes hon. My name is Clover, and I'm a girl. That's what I want. Thank you for asking."

She gave me a warm smile, "You're welcome. I'm glad you're ready to be yourself."

A moment later the waiter was standing by the table and I suddenly felt very embarrassed and awkward. As he gathered up our plates he asked, "Can I interest either of you folks in some coffee or desert?"

"Absolutely!" Claire replied with a wide grin. She wound up ordering us both coffee, along with a slice of chocolate fudge cake to share.

She didn't have to say it, but I knew she thought the two of us needed to celebrate.

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