Book 6 Chapter 22
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Joan took a slow, deep breath. She could do this. It wasn’t that hard. In fact, it was easy. A child could have done it.

Well, she was a child. Kind of. No. She was a teenage girl. And also a thousand year old person. Something. It didn’t matter. She just had to reach out and knock on the door.

Wait, was she a teenager? Yes. No. Yes. She was. Probably. She didn’t know. How old was she? She should go back to her room and try to figure that out, even though she was sure there was no definitive way to really know now.

NO! Joan shook her head and took another deep breath. She could do this. She HAD to do this. She couldn’t hide from it forever, no matter how scared she was. Only cowards hid from such things. But it wasn’t for her, was it? She was--

“You know, you can knock,” Neia said from behind her. “Imp isn’t an entirely timid doe, she won’t shatter unless you barge into the room.”

Joan barely suppressed a shriek and whipped around to see the fake Neia behind her. No, the real Neia. But the one she thought was a fake and not the one she knew. “I-I wasn’t--”

“Frantically working up the courage to talk to her?” Neia asked. “We were just about to have lunch, did you care to join us?”

“Lunch?” Joan asked before she realized that Neia was carrying something in her hands. A small wooden board with little slices of meat and bread on it.

“I made it myself, with supervision of course,” Neia said. “It’s safe for humans, I assure you.”

“Uhhhh…” Joan said, blinking a few times.

“I know I’m gorgeous and should be used to the staring, but I have my glamour suppressed right now,” Neia said before motioning to the metal band sealed around her wrist. “Along with all my other magic. So do try to stop staring. If you’re going to find out your sudden adoration of the female form, though? Maybe find someone a little closer to your age to ogle.” She then reached out and knocked on the door. “Imp! It’s me! I brought a visitor!”

“Do I have to?” Imp’s voice came from the other side.

Joan pulled back slightly and felt a sharp pain in her heart. “No,” she said quickly before taking a step back. It was a bad idea. She shouldn’t have come here. She’d already caused them enough trouble, she didn’t want to add to it.

“Yes,” Neia said with a roll of her eyes. “Open up.”

Slowly the door opened a crack and Joan couldn’t help but cringe at the smell and darkness that emanated from within. The room itself had windows, but they were covered by blankets and it looked like a wardrobe had been shoved in front of them. It took her a few moments to realize that the strange pile in front of the doors wasn’t a mess of laundry, it was Imp wrapped in blankets.

“Damn,” Neia said before giving a soft sigh. “What did I tell you?”

“There was too much light,” Imp said softly.

“Nobody is going to break into your window here,” Neia said before shaking her head. “What’s that smell? Come on, help me uncover that window so we can air this place out a bit.”

“But if it’s open--”

“The light and fresh air will do you some good,” Neia said. “Now come help me with this. Our hosts aren’t going to be very welcome to us staying here if they have to burn the bedding every week.”

Imp, very nervously, made her way to the opposite side of the room to help Neia shove the wardrobe aside and pull the blankets she’d stuffed into the slats out of the window.

Joan felt her stomach turn a little when she saw Imp sitting down on her bed, bundled up so tightly in the bedding that only her face could be seen.

“Imp, what am I going to do with you?” Neia asked. “Take that off, nothing here is going to hurt you.”

“But what about her?” Imp asked before pointing a finger at Joan.

Joan struggled to suppress the urge to cry. It wasn’t Imp’s fault, there was no way she could know who she was. The fear was probably perfectly natural.

“She’s one of the good ones,” Neia said in a soothing tone. “Like Myrin. You like Myrin, right? So come out. Just for a little bit, okay?”

Very timidly, Imp pulled the blankets off herself. “Sorry,” Joan said softly. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“You were the one who found me,” Imp said accusingly.

“Fortunately,” Neia said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t know what your plan was. Did you really think you’d be able to haul me away under the eyes of the Chosen? I’m just grateful it was her and not one of the others. Most of the people there would have torn you apart just for existing.”

Imp lowered her eyes before slowly reaching out and grabbing one of the small piles of meat and bread. Rather than biting it, she nervously picked at it, dropping little crumbs onto the ground. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Joan said.

“I think we both do,” Neia said with a small chuckle. “Frankly, this has all turned out far better than I expected. Most would have killed her on the spot. You, on the other hand, seem more protective of the small thing than me. I don’t see many who look at demons like that.”

“I’m told I’m quite the unique child,” Joan said before taking a small step into the room. She coughed a little at the smell, struggling to resist the urge to cover her mouth.

“Maybe burning all the bedding at this point would be a mercy,” Neia said. “Imp, do try to pick up after yourself a bit better. I can’t be here to take care of you all the time.”

“I don’t… I’m not hungry,” Imp said softly.

“Yes, you are,” Neia said. “Don’t starve yourself. We’ve talked about this.”

Imp gave a soft sigh before nervously putting the food to her mouth. She hesitated for a moment, as if expecting it to disappear, before stuffed it fully into her mouth. Joan couldn’t help but smile at the way her cheeks were bulging like a squirrels.

“See?” Neia said. “I’m sorry, she’s got quite the history.”

“I imagine,” Joan said softly.

“Though, I imagine you do as well,” Neia said.

“I really don’t,” Joan said. “I just… well. I don’t have one I can share.”

“Not like I’m in any position to ask,” Neia said. “But that illusion I put you under, it’s not easy to break. Yet you did it in a few seconds. I’d love to know how.”

“Seconds?” Joan asked. “It felt like minutes.”

“It was fast,” Neia said. “Very fast. So… how?”

“I’ve been under it before,” Joan said. “I knew how to break it.”

“And you just did it?” Neia asked, letting out a low whistle. “You’re a lot tougher than you look.”

“I’m told that a lot,” Joan said softly.

“Maybe I should have tried to make an illusion of Imp here,” Neia said. “You can’t ever seem to get your eyes off her. I think she might be a bit older than you too, though.”

“What?” Joan asked before scarlet filled her cheeks. “I wasn’t, I wouldn’t, no, I never, I should go,” Joan said before frantically turning to leave.

“You can leave if you like,” Neia said. “But you don’t need to be scared of us. We’re bound and tamed, more or less. Korgron made sure of that. So long as we’re safe, well, I don’t see a reason to rebel. I’m sure you’ve heard all kinds of nasty rumors about me, but I assure you they’re all lies.”

Joan paused for a moment, one foot already back outside the room. “I’ve heard a lot of rumors about you,” she said. “None of them were nice. I doubt any of them were ever true.”

“Oh, I’m sure some of them are,” Neia said with a light snicker. “I’m probably what most would consider soulless. And I’m certainly damned.”

“Neia,” Imp said softly. “I didn’t--”

“Calm down, Imp,” Neia said in a soothing tone. “It’s a joke. Nobody who took more than a few seconds to get to know you could ever see you as some embodiment of… well, anything they say. I promise.”

“She’s right,” Joan said softly. “You’re not… neither of you are soulless or damned. You’re just not what they expect. What they demand.”

“People always demand what they want though, don’t they?” Neia asked. “Maybe if they scream it enough times, they truly can make us some terrible soulless, damned duo. Can’t they, little Imp?”

“I don’t care if I’m soulless,” Imp said softly.

“I… I need to go,” Joan said before storming off down the hall, leaving the pair. Her stomach was doing little turns and try as she might, she couldn’t get it to stop.

She wanted to know more about what happened to Imp, why she was like this. Why those two were so close. What happened to them. Why had Myrin taken the place of Neia.

But she couldn’t. Not now. She wasn’t sure if she ever could. Why did it hurt so much? Why was it every time Imp pulled away from her, hid from her, she felt like a knife was twisting in her stomach? Why did she feel like she’d failed her so terribly? She wished she could claim it was just more missing memories, but she didn’t think it was.

Joan would likely never know what happened. Why this all came about. She’d likely never know if Imp had been okay in those other lives. If she could have protected her better. She didn’t know why that all hurt so much, but it did.

Joan lightly reached up and smacked her cheeks a few times, trying to shake off that feeling. She was going to go see if Qakog and Searle were still sparring. At the very least she could take some delight in watching them fight for her approval.

That mental image made her pause and her cheeks turn bright red once again. That was certainly NOT a heroic thought to have.

 

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