I stifled a cry as I woke with a start. It was almost half past eight in the morning, and I'd just had that same nightmare again. I thought for a moment when I opened my eyes the crutches were back, leaning against the wall next to the bed as if the past two days never happened. My heart was pounding and I actually felt a little nauseous at the thought.

After taking a deep breath to try and calm down I was startled again by a voice and movement on the bed behind me.

"Rachel? Are you ok?" Naomi sounded sleepy, and I realized I must have woken her when I jolted awake from the dream.

I turned over to face her and replied, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. It was a nightmare."

She looked beautiful, even half-asleep with her long gorgeous brown hair sort of in a mess all around her face. She gave me a sad look as she asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's ok. Thanks though," I replied. I gave her a weak smile then apologized, "I have to get up. I have to be in town by eleven. I'll try and be quiet, so you can get some more sleep."

She watched as I slipped out of bed. I blushed slightly, I knew she was watching me as I walked naked from the bed to the bathroom. It was silly, she'd seen me naked last night too but we were both kind of drunk when that happened.

I closed the door behind me and tried to keep quiet as I used the toilet then got into the shower. This was my third morning and I hoped I'd be used to it by now, but no. It was still a novel experience, though it was slightly less freaky than the previous two times.

My thoughts wandered again as I showered. There were still strange feelings and emotions, but I was finally ready to accept that this body made me happy in a way guy-me's body never had. That body was just a thing, just a fact of life. I don't think I hated it as such, but I never really enjoyed it. I liked being Rachel. I was happier, and that gave me more self-confidence.

Guy-me existed, but I actually lived. I'd lived more in the last two days as a girl than I had in the last twenty years as a guy. Hell I probably smiled more in the past two days than I did in the previous twenty years.

Then it hit me as I was rinsing off. I finally understood what Skye meant about being a girl and not knowing it.

I was never a guy. I was always Rachel, I just didn't know it. I was stuck in a guy's body and I assumed that meant I had to be a guy, because I didn't know there were any other options. But as a guy I was never really happy, because it wasn't really me.

Now I finally understood who and what I was. The only thing missing was all the memories of my life as Rachel. Once I could remember my past, I'd be able to carry on with my life after this vacation was over.

Since I was still trying to keep quiet so Naomi could sleep, I skipped washing my hair so I wouldn't have to blow-dry it. I brushed it though and made sure it looked ok, then brushed my teeth before I finally emerged from the bathroom.

I got dressed as quietly as I could. I definitely needed to do some laundry soon but I figured I could leave it till tomorrow. I was running out of sexy undies so today was just a set of plain black cotton panties and a black sports bra. I went with the black skinny-jeans, and a tight red t-shirt.

I quickly did my make-up, then pulled on my boots and grabbed my purse and my jacket. I glanced at the bed and saw Naomi looked like she was asleep again, so I kept quiet as I slipped out the door and gently closed it behind me.

It was only about ten o'clock, I had time to get breakfast but I didn't really have much of an appetite. Partially because I was nervous about what would happen in town, and partially because I wished Naomi was here with me. It would have been silly to get her up out of bed for an early breakfast though, when I really couldn't take her with me to the occult store.

So I just had some toast with my coffee, as I sat there in the resort restaurant and tried not to let my anxiety get out of hand.

It was about a quarter to eleven when I slipped behind the wheel of my car. After I started it up I turned the radio up a little louder, in hopes that the up-beat music might help drown out my nerves. It did, and soon enough I was singing along with the tunes as I drove.

When I got to the town I skipped the scenic drive and just went straight to the parking lot near the store. I hurried from the car to the shop, and got there a few minutes early. I wound up pacing back and forth in front of the door, waiting for it to open.

I didn't have to wait too long. It was about two minutes before eleven when the lights all came on and the door was unlocked. I felt a pang of dismay when I saw who was there. It wasn't the teen, but it was another young woman. She couldn't have been older than twenty. She had platinum-blonde hair and was decked out all in black. Black dress, black shoes, the works. She even had a silver pentacle hanging around her neck by a black cord.

She gave me a friendly smile and said "Come on in hon. You must be Rachel, Skye told me to expect you today."

I frowned as I stepped past her into the store. The smell of incense nearly overpowered me again, and I almost didn't notice her locking the door behind me.

I blinked a few times and suppressed a cough, then asked "Are you Selene? You're the owner?"

She could probably hear the disbelief in my voice, but she just smiled as she moved back behind the counter. "That's right hon. I'm the owner of this establishment. Now I understand you had a bit of a mix-up with one of our spells?"

She had to be a couple years younger than myself, she looked way too young to be the owner. And the way she kept calling me 'hon' felt a little weird as well. It might have fit if she was an older woman, but it felt and sounded odd coming from someone who looked barely out of their teens.

As I moved to stand opposite her I noticed there was a small black cat on the counter this morning. It was curled up on a purple cushion to the right of the cash register, next to the windows. It was awake and was watching me, but otherwise it seemed content to just lay there.

I looked back at the blonde and blushed as I replied, "Um yeah. I guess that girl told you all about it?"

"She did," Selene nodded. She gave me a friendly smile and asked, "I understand you were looking for a way to reverse things? Skye said you were unhappy with the outcome, she had the impression you wanted to undo the spell entirely?"

My blush grew brighter as I shook my head. It was hard to admit it out loud, but I sort of half-whispered, "Actually no, I really want to keep it."

Her eyebrows raised slightly as she asked, "Is that so?"

I nodded, "I still need some help though? I'm not sure if that girl told you this part but I was uh, under the influence when I cast the spell?"

Selene had a sympathetic smile on her face now as she listened. "Skye mentioned that, yes. So tell me hon, what sort of help is it you're looking for?"

"I uh, don't remember anything of my past like this?" I wasn't even sure exactly how to explain it, and I still felt embarrassed about the whole thing which made it even harder. I lowered my voice further and said "I still remember the other life, up till Thursday morning when I woke up like this? I don't remember any details of my own life. I mean, my life as Rachel. I've been trying to piece it together and figure it out, but..."

I sighed and shook my head, "I don't know if I could fake my way through it with everything. Especially going back to university, I'm in a completely different program now?"

The blonde gave me an apologetic look and said "I'd love to help you hon. But the thing is, that wasn't your magic to use in the first place. It didn't belong to you."

I felt my heart skip a beat and my blood started to run cold. Suddenly those nightmares felt a lot more real, and I was scared they were going to come true. I'm sure she could hear the fear in my voice as I asked "Does that mean it's going to wear off? Or..."

My mouth went dry and I gulped, "Are you going to take it away from me?"

"Oh hon," she gave me a compassionate look and shook her head. "I would never try and take it from you. And it's not going to wear off, you don't have to worry about that either."

I breathed a deep sigh of relief when I heard that. "Thank you... I've been so scared this might all go away and I'd wind up back where I was."

She gave me another sad smile then said, "It does mean I can't really help you though. Because it wasn't your magic, and you haven't paid for it. And I'm sure you can imagine hon, spells like that don't come cheap."

"Oh... Right." I sighed. "So um, just how expensive is it? Maybe I could come up with the cash? I could sell my car, or get a loan or something."

Selene shook her head again, "Magic like that isn't something you can buy with money dear. The price is something else."

That sent another little pang of fear through me. I gulped, "You're going to take my soul?"

"What?" she actually looked shocked. "No! That'd be barbaric!"

She clarified, "I do trade in intangible things, but not souls. Spells like Verum Viam are expensive, but I know this wasn't your fault hon. You're the victim of a little mix-up, so I think we can perhaps come to some sort of arrangement?"

By now I was confused and my emotions were all over the place. "What then? What does it cost?"

Selene looked me up and down for a moment as if she were studying me, then asked "How about your depression? I can see you've grown and cultivated it for several years. It looks quite strong, and very resilient. You haven't touched it lately though, you haven't even looked at it in the past two days."

"You want my depression?" I asked, confused. "I don't understand. You want to be depressed?"

The blonde smiled and shook her head, "Oh it's not for me hon. But you'd be surprised what some clients want."

I sighed, "I don't understand. But if it means you'll help me then fine, you can have my depression."

She smiled again then crouched down behind the counter. I heard a drawer open and some shuffling, then she straightened up again and placed a thick old binder on the counter. As I watched, she flipped through countless pages till finding what looked like a photocopy of a type-written contract.

Selene turned the binder around so it faced me, and handed me a fancy-looking pen.

"Here you go hon. Just write and sign your name at the bottom there, and where it says 'todays date' put Wednesday's date instead. Best to back-date it to the point where you used the magic, to make sure there's no misunderstandings."

The pen was similar to the one from the spell, but with a gold nib instead. I automatically knew what to do with it, and poked it into my thumb. Once again there was no pain, just a gentle pinch. I wrote my name down at the bottom along with Wednesday's date, then I signed the contract in my own blood.

When it was done I looked up at her again and asked, "Now what?"

"That's all there is to it," she replied with another warm smile. "The magic is yours, and the memories will gradually appear through the rest of the day."

She added, "If you got them all at once you'd have a terrible headache, trust me."

It seemed a little anti-climactic, and I didn't really know what else to say. I finally just replied "Ok, um... Thank you."

Selene was still smiling at me as she replied "You're welcome hon. Now why don't you run along, go enjoy the rest of your vacation."

"Ok," I nodded slowly.

She walked me to the the door, and I was almost in a daze as I slowly made my way back to the parking lot. The whole experience suddenly felt surreal, almost dream-like.

I was ecstatic about one thing though. I knew the magic wasn't going to fade or disappear, I'd never have to go back to that place I was before.

By the time I slipped in behind the wheel of my car I was smiling again, and as soon as I started it up I was singing along with the tunes once more. It was a bright sunny day, the air was mild for mid-December, and I was eager to get back to the resort. I couldn't wait to hit the slopes again with Naomi.

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