My meditation skill endurance was getting better, but after it starts falling apart due to big shock, it’s just impossible to stop the shut down, you can only slow it down. I quickly moved closer to the nest for safety just in case. I barely passed the line of tree roots, when it finally wore off, and I braced myself for impact.

(“Huh”)(“Nothing happened”)(“Yey! Life is good after all!”)

(“YOU.. I mean I FOOL!”)(“NOO now we are DOOMED”)(“Like snakelings on chinese wet market”)(“press F, for flag!”)

“SsSssSSsssss”

Of course, as always… the delayed side effects of people being in my mind, causes me anguish. I do still need to do that, as whenever I stopped blocking my thoughts, an echo would form inside the mind, causing havoc, but still... ARghhhh!

I tried to take a deep breath to calm down and… I can’t breathe?! What is going on! My gills are not opening! Why…

… gills?

I’m a snake. A SNAKE damn it! Stupid fish! Stupid dreams of swimming!

I’m pretty sure I didn’t see this when I checked my status just after ending the dreamscapades… So scope can show mental conditions, but only when you become aware of them? Does it lie about your mental state if you strongly believe something? Would a drunk, insisting on being sober, see their condition as sober? I should take a mental note to test those things later. (“Time to invent notebooks!”)(“I have no thumbs, and I must invent!”).

This is a bad sign. I can also feel that these mental conditions are not everything that is wrong, I just can’t pinpoint what exactly is happening.

But back to the pressing matters… Mana. It seems to be the solution to my problems. It seems that I have to form a complete core to start using it.. But I have no idea how to do that! Mother does seem to have one… so does my sky-evolved sister. But I don’t believe I have time to wait until my molting… Is there another way?

As far as I can sense, this world seems to consist of 

1. a) physical realm- relatively similar to my old life's reality 
2. b) mana and magic- a kind of living energy, permeating a big part of the world. Possibly part of the physical realm? Is there even a distinction, apart from my understanding? 
3. c) minds oceans- as in my old life, related to brains and physicality, but apparently more than just a side effect of bodily chemistry?
4. d) souls- can be seen, skill calls them souls (though maybe it lies?), seems to be related to mind, body, and mana

My brief observations of life and death (especially death), strongly suggest that they are all strongly interconnected. There are most likely even more aspects of the world that I just don’t have the ability to sense. So what can I use to deal with my mental disability?

My body- I can run away from everyone! (“Hikikomori were right!”) Very useful, alas, I need to eat. Also, I don’t want to spend however many years I have ahead of me eternally alone.

My mind - I can use it to think of solutions, but It’s exactly its weakness that puts me in this position. Strengthening it is vital in solving this problem, but it's only part of it.

Mana - It is the most likely solution but it might arrive too late. I might be wrong, but I strongly suspect that the first molting is important, and any problems not solved before then, will follow you for a long, loong time.

Soul - they exist?

(“What about the gecko?”)(“Gecko seemed to burn part of its soul for some strength,,”)
Yeah.. that’s what it seemed like… but how the hell do you use your soul to do anything? Also I’m not sure if using up my soul is a good idea, especially due to the whole “being a reincarnated person” thing. It also didn’t seem to help the gecko much. And is there any way to “replenish” soul energy? Or is it like cutting off your tail to run away from the predator? (“Would explain why gecko could do it”)

Or maybe I could use my soul to control my mana somehow? Damn it, so many questions and yet so little time… no other choice. I have to go to sleep, and try sneaking into the lunar knights dream again…

I have questions, and it’s time to fish for some answers.

Reisinling

This whole chapter originally was supposed to be only a note before the next dream... but then it expanded into 2 pages of text. Well, it seems to be the theme of my writing.