Welcome to the Charlotte Family

Chapter 1: No Consequences

 

Being robbed, stabbed, then left to die in my own home is not how I expected how my life would turn out. In truth, I never did. At least they didn’t rape me or anything as I died; thank god necrophilia is rare. I already cursed them to hell, I don’t know how I could’ve made it worse. Oh yeah…I killed three of them first before I died. Huh, I guess I did okay

 

25 years old, Michelin Star Chef at one of those fancy restaurants in Las Vegas blah blah blah, yes that’s me. I had my life perfectly planned out ahead of me, until those bastards broke in and took away my life...goddammit I barely graduated college and got my license! It’s only been a single year since I actually got a job too! Just before I was promoted as well. Well, at least I don’t have to worry about that Master’s degree now.

 

As I lost myself to the darkness, expecting nothing more, I woke up to...well, it was still nothing but I knew something was there. Something I can’t explain.

 

Me: Could you tell me my situation now please? Am I going to be judged, or is that already done? Reincarnation, or perhaps a drink at the Lethe to wipe away my memories?

 

??: Sarcasm even in death?

 

Me: This isn’t sarcasm. It’s being real and I know I’m dead. If I know that even Houdini failed to return back, then what chance do I have? I’m just accepting whatever awaits me.

 

??: Good answer. Well the truth is, you can say you are one of the lucky bunch.

 

Me: No thanks. I’d rather pass. Normally reincarnation brings around their own rounds of suffering and trouble. Not a Buddhist but citing their words, I’d rather be free of suffering by exiting the reincarnation cycle as a whole you see?

 

??: Call it whatever you want, but I like to call it Netflix Premium, Your Life Edition.

 

Me: Should be called Stalker’s Edition. You know...this sounds a lot like the hunger games? Maybe you should just send me on the normal way and get someone else.

 

??: Look, it’s no use lying to me. Inside, you were bored with your normal life. No excitement in it at all. All you did was cook the same dishes everyday when you are a Star Chef at heart. Your talent with the knife and sword. That’s not something to call ‘Talent’. It’s called a fucking miracle. Heck, you could’ve set up those Guiness World Records should you have tried.

 

Me: I fail to see how that makes a point. I’d rather just rest and enjoy the oblivion or something. I don’t like being hurt physically or emotionally. I don’t give a flying fuck about anyone that I don’t care about. Also, I won’t lie that my talent with the knife is pretty good…but why would I take that as an ‘ok’ card to receive another painful life? I was literally just murdered.

 

??: Let’s see… From what I know, there’s not much holding you back in this world though. Well, from your memories you hated your parents…my my… My condolences for your shitty luck for an abusive and alcoholic parents.

 

Whatever this guy was, he was starting to get on my nerves. Why couldn’t he just wipe me from existence and be done with it? Obliteration sounded pretty good right now. I wouldn’t exist but that also meant no more suffering, ever.

 

??: Obliteration isn’t as good as you think it is. You might think that now but that soul of yours has gone through thousands of lives, you simply can’t recall it. Erasing it from existence is a punishment only for the worst of the worst...of course there’s also eternal torture but going there…that takes some serious talent in a bad way.

 

Me: Okay, whatever; let’s get on with what you want to talk about now. It’s about...hmm, entertainment. I’m guessing I’m the toy?

 

??: Yes

 

Me: Compensation?

 

??: I can just force you to do it you know?

 

Me: if you were really like that, then you wouldn't have brought me to meet you in the first place. A truly sadistic god would have dropped me off with no explanation. Also, should you do that I swear that my first conscious action would be committing suicide. So what do I get?

 

??: You do whatever you want. Cheats of all kinds, any world, whatever. I’ll just see how it turns out.

 

Me: Great, I want to be you. You can just watch me be you.

 

??: I know, but no. I refuse, now try something that is more like the typical Isekai.

 

*sigh* these super powerful dimensional beings never giving others their own level of power. I mean, I understand being that if I ever have the opportunity I would do the exact same thing. Still, it was worth a try.

??: I would complain about your statement but I’ll give you a good reason. Now listen to me; it’s not that I don’t want to make a being as powerful as I am, but it’s rather that I quite literally cannot. Omnipotence is something predetermined and there will only ever be seven. Also, you’re very different from the last two I’ve seen. Those twins...yeah, they’re still doing well.

 

Me: So I’m not the only member of your toy collection.

 

??: Other than you, it’s only been them for the last eternity. They’ve finally awakened where even I can’t always spy on them like I’ve used to. Honestly, they feel like my daughters in a way, since I’ve been with them for so long. Got to say, I’m proud of them. Don’t know how they managed to do it so quickly, keeping an eye of an omnipotent being off of them.

 

Me: So...they managed to become these higher plane beings or whatever?

 

??: Yes, why, you want to try that too? Let me just say this first though. For you, it’s impossible.

 

Me: Honestly, no. Immortality sounds more like a curse to me than not. Resting forever sounds like a good way to go. Until then, doing whatever the heck I like. By the way, if I die, what’ll happen to me?

 

??: What do you want to happen?

 

Me: Nothing. Just erase me completely. No consequences, no judgement...just end it. Actually, scratch that, I might want to come back here for a final farewell. Who knows how different I’ll be in whatever amount of time I’ll die.

 

??: Good choice. The twins were also kind of like that. They used to have these frequent existential crisis moments. Kind of funny really, if you take out the consideration that they’re more than a hundred thousand years old now.

 

Me: *whistles* That was a pretty long time ago then.

 

??: Let’s get back to the topic of me staying entertained. Now give me the name of the World you want to go to.

 

Me: ... One Piece.

 

??: What is it with all this One Piece, the other girls said that too. Is it really that fun and all? All I see are Pirates fighting to get a treasure and the Marines trying to kill them all.

 

Me: Say syke right now! One Piece is a Masterpiece that will last throughout the ages!

 

??: Jeez, alright. Well, I guess you’re going to be very different from them so I probably won’t be watching the same show on rerun

 

Me: Fine then. Tell me how they did it so I can make sure not to follow in their footsteps.

 

??: Let’s just say they had a very strong view of justice.

 

Me: Ewww...in that world? Where’s the fun in that?! If you live in a world like that, you should do whatever you wish to do! Kill who you want to! Embrace the freedom you get to have in that world.

 

??: Wanted to say the same thing a couple of times...until they convinced Akainu on their view.

 

Me: Holy Shit...now that’s talent.

 

??: I know. But you’re going to be different right?

 

Me: Well, I’m going to assume I’ll be going to a different world than they are, right?

 

??: Yes, it’ll be a parallel One Piece World. Only Canon since most of the other films were pretty shit in my opinion.

 

I glared at him

 

??: Fine. I’ll admit that Stampede and Strong world wasn’t all that bad.

 

I glared at him so more

 

??: What?

 

Me: *sigh* whatever.

 

??: Any cheats? What do you want.

 

Me: I’m basically going into a world that kills for breakfast and people that can literally destroy the world. What do you think? I don’t want to go in there with a mind of a 25 year old girl.

 

??: That’s basically {Calm Mind}, sure, I guess. Basically it’ll allow you to keep your calm and think straight. Added benefits are you are quite impossible to attack with any mental attacks or the kind. Basically, there’s an impenetrable barrier around your mind.

 

Me: I don’t want a physical body that will hold me back. So...could you give me a body with unlimited potential? So I can continue to grow always? That also means regeneration by the way. I’d like to keep all of my body parts and my senses.

 

??: Want some Conqueror’s Haki with that as well?

 

Me: You make it sound as if it’s fries, but yes please. I wouldn’t miss out on such a convenient ability. Also, when I said a body that won’t hold me back, I wish to be able to consume more Devil Fruits.

 

??: You seriously going to chug those balls?

 

Me: No, but if I ever eat one, then I am in danger. It’s kind of like a poison that has a hundred percent kill rate, isn’t that right? I don’t want to die just because someone put a grind up devil fruit in my soup or something when I already ate one.

 

??: Good point. I’m guessing you’re also going to ask for immunity from Seastone and water?

 

Me: Anything that is a fatal weakness, remove it please.

 

??: Your morals?

 

Me: Just leave enough. Living in a cursed world like that with morals will only make my life harder. I’d rather enjoy it through all the chaos. I don’t want to fall into a depression because I killed some pirates but I don’t want to become heartless. There should at least be a reason for why I continue to live, right?

 

??: You seriously need to hear yourself. You sound exactly like what a sadist would say.

 

Me: Whatever you say Genie. Can I get like a personal inventory like a gamers’. I figured that if I don’t get a Swamp Logia or a Devil Fruit like that, then I’ll have to carry all of my stuff and I’d rather not.

 

??: You’d be surprised at how much your wishes overlap with the twins at this point.

 

Me: If they mentioned everything I asked for, then they’re smart. They’re not taking any chances of their downfall or doom or defeat.

 

??: You didn’t ask for immortality

 

Me: I don’t want immortality, didn’t I say? Death should be a final resting place for me when life becomes meaningless.

 

??: Stop getting all philosophical.

 

Me: Fine, last wish. Make me a prodigy

 

??: As in?

 

Me: I don’t want to spend hours upon hours learning things I don’t want to. Just turn me into a genius never seen before so I can breeze through all of those things.

 

??: Very well. The things you ask for...they do defy the reality of the world you are about to go in. I’ll also give you a unique skill so you’ll go faster. It’s called Mimic. Anything you’ve seen…you can learn it instantly and copy it should it be possible for your body.

 

Me: …a unique skill. What do you mean should it be possible?

 

??: Let’s say a bird flies and you use mimic on it. You would instantly understand how the bird flies but your lack of wings would make you unable to copy it.

 

Me: Sure. Sounds about right.

 

??: Anything else?

 

Me: No. Just please make sure I’m not born into a slave of the Celestial Dragons or something like that. Life would really suck if that happened.

 

??: I’ll make sure. Just a word of warning though...right now you have a lot of bloodlust and anger, and that will guide you for some time. But there will be a moment when all of that anger you have built up collapses. You’ll yearn for peace once that day comes.

 

Me: Not a problem. I’ll just have fun until that day comes then.

 

??: Oh? Normally people challenge me when I say something like that...you’re quite an interesting one, little girl.

 

Me: I’m not dumb enough to not realize what this giant ball of light in front of me is capable of doing. If you’re doing something like this for fun then...you really are something akin to a god or more. I’ll take a wise word from someone who has probably seen others like me before.

 

??: Wise choice, once again. I guess this is farewell until...meh, until we meet again. Just a word of warning though...you do know you are emotionally insecure? You’ll have varying degrees of emotion for each person...like in an unstable way. Also, you’ll have to earn that freedom yourself.

 

I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye or ask what the fuck he meant with that last line as I was pulled back into the darkness. Usually, I embraced sleep but this time, something was different. Even when I was curled up into a fetal position, eyes closed shut, and something in front of me...this was uncomfortable.

 

I had a lot of space so it was not that, but rather it looked as if someone was peering into my soul and looking as if I was some kind of a product. Next thing I know, I was pulled in a direction and for the first time in this life, I saw light.

 

I remember being held by someone’s arms as I heard screaming in the background. Not the screams of a mother who was crying out in pain but...but more of a father who was being eaten alive by my own mother.

 

I opened my eyes to see...well, spots of color. My eyes couldn’t see clearly yet but I would recognize those teeth anywhere.

 

LinLin: Mamamamamama. Twin daughters is it? You were born first, so you will be Charlotte Pudding.

 

Then she turned to me where she saw my half opened eyes and smiled. It was a creepy smile that sent a shiver down my baby spine.

 

LinLin: And you will be Charlotte Syrup. Mamamama!!! Welcome to the Charlotte Family!

 

That was me. Charlotte Syrup; daughter of Charlotte LinLin of the Yonko Pirate Crew Big Mom. The 36th Daughter and 77th Child of the family.

…

Fuck my life