I'm lying in my bed.
Eyes wide open!
The reason?
Simple, I had just no good experiences with anything related to sleep recently.
At least I could convince my mother not to stay nearby while I do so.
Honestly, it wasn't so difficult after the last time.
But now I am here, trying to sleep and at the same time to stay awake.
Stupid paradox!

That is to say, I don't feel tired.
I often mentioned that I overcame this condition, but never it came so clear that this isn't a natural state than now, after a whole day that elapsed without the slightest urge to sleep.
Or rather three days, if you take into account that I was rather occupied during these times with traversing the nightmarescape and saving mother.
Like this, it comes clear why I would like to dodge this issue.

Nonetheless, alone the atmosphere of lying in my bed is kind of a commitment that I will sleep.
And I really have no idea what I should do else.
It's not like I want to take a nightly stroll with all these monsters out there.
And making through would bother mum, aside from the fact that it is certainly no human behavior.
So eventually I close my eyes!

And am back in my horror world!
God, this necklace thing never gets old.
And for some reason, I teleported directly in front of one of the towers.
The planet I stand on is slightly orange and above me, the next one appears to be yellow.
Who even comes up with this?

I recall that according to Zika probably one of these so-called outer gods might be responsible for my condition.
And if it is like this, there is a high chance it is the same who owns this place.
Because seriously, this place looks so artificial.
You simply know it's made up and not natural.

On the other side, I start to doubt if existence itself is natural in the first place.
According to most religions, even my own was created.
And I am really not in the position to call any of them liars.
So likely this place has an owner.
And I am directly inside his domain.
It could also be just a random dream, but with so many planets I doubt it a little.

Maybe I could start a talk with this entity, but as afraid Zika is of them this might be an act of madness.
Personally, I cannot imagine anything good coming from this.
However, I'm driven here, which could be because it's the origin of most of the demons I consist of.
Yet I have no positive relationship with this place.

At this moment, I realize something.
I am here at one of the towers.
And this is another planet.
That means this tower is not the same I climbed last time.
And as far I know their entrances are guarded by...

 

"Stomp"

 

Yep!
A demon.
Again this unsettling large grin carved directly into the face.
This aura of maliciousness is certainly unsettling.
And I have really no idea how to handle this situation
At least I could try to talk.
They appeared to be more intelligent to me than the other monsters.
Even if most of it might be for the sake of sadism.
However, as I am no killer and don't want to stir things up here I try.

 

"C-can we talk this out? I really don't want to do anything to you! I can just leave! Really, there is no need for this!" (I)

 

Like as an answer the grin grows deeper and his claw somehow grows into some kind of blade, made of red and dirty black contents.

 

"Please, I don't want to kill you! This won't end well for you!" (I)

 

"Swish"

 

Maybe I overestimated its intelligence or maybe it simply doesn't take me full or has no intention to listen after doing this job for quite some time, or it has heard what I did to the others.
Anyways, it starts to slash at me.
I'm barely able to dodge.
Whatever is up with this thing, it must also make it faster and stronger than you would normally believe is possible.

 

"I really don't want to do this!!!" (I)

 

It's unsettling how quiet this thing stays, but what is even more of an issue is that I can basically feel the malice.
While I didn't expect hospitality, this presence is literally a physical sensation and my body begins to react to it.

 

"Swish"

 

It keeps striking after me and this time it was really difficult to get away.
Yet there was a sudden increase in speed on my side.
A look down confirms it.
I have my panther paws, greatly accelerating my jumping abilities.

 

"Goddamnit you stupid thing! Stop it or your soul will be crushed!" (I)

 

It wasn't intended to sound this intimidating on my side and surely I didn't want to threaten it.
In fact, this is just exactly what is going to happen if it doesn't stop now.
I am gradually losing control over my body.
Not in a sense that I am possessed and an unknown force takes over my mind.
It is more like the reflex when you put your hand into a fire and something tells you you have to retract it fast.
Yet this time the reflex is not saying "retract", but instead "make this annoying inconvenience vanish!"
And I really have no more leeway to endure it.

 

"NO ONE DARES TO DEFY ME!!!" (demon)

 

It can speak!?

 

"When you can talk then just stop this! Before it ends badly!" (I)

 

But its attacks just grow more furious with that, making my inner stirring even worse.

 

"STOP! I cannot..." (I)

 

"Swish"

 

At this moment another swing of that blade goes for me.
I jump again backward, but suddenly midswing it grows longer, supposedly through some demon power.
Because of this sudden change, I cannot escape.

 

"Skshh"

 

Petrified I stare.
At my cut-off arm!

 

"Why?! Why did you do this?!" (I)

"No more running!!!" (demon)

"No... No more running!" (Iori)

 

This sounded darker than I'd like.
But honestly, it is dark.
Not because I've got badly injured.
I don't even feel any pain and distressingly there is no blood, just some crawling.
The true reason is, I can still feel the arm.
Not phantom pain, regret, or how it regrows.
I mean I can literally feel that cut-off thing that lies there on the ground between this monster's feet.
And I've lost control.

Like this, it explodes.
Not in a wave which would just rush over us, but as an endless stream.
Black tendrils grow in steadily increasing numbers, all of them aimed at this monster.
While the demon can cut some of them down they are immediately replaced by ten times the amount.
The outcome is clear.
He soon gets overwhelmed, pinned down, and is completely overgrown.

My arm already healed back and is again attached to my shoulder like before.
I haven't even noticed how it happened.
But truly, this sight in front of me was a little distracting.
Even more, as I am somehow aware of every little thing that happens in there.
And while we are at distressing impressions, this accumulation now somehow grew something like teeth or nails and other sharp stuff in there.
And now it starts to spin!

I cannot see inside, but total physical awareness isn't any better.
I truly didn't want to experience this feeling.
While being shredded surely is no pleasant experience, I never intended to learn how it is to be the shredder.
Disturbing is an understatement.

It only takes a moment and the demon is taken apart.
And in front of me lies now a large horror-shredder-calamity.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! It doesn't want to... right?
I-it starts to move in my direction!
It wants to merge!!!

No, forget it!
This was traumatizing enough!
I am out!

 

"Back home, back home, back home!" (I)

 

With directed will and image, as well as some experience, I find myself a moment later back in my room.
I certainly had enough horror now.
And honestly, despite the really freaking experience on my side, I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for that demon.
In fact, I would go as far and say it was suicide.
It's not like I've asked him to chop off my arm.
That is the equivalent of pulling the splint of a hand grenade and then keeping it in the hand.

This was seriously traumatizing, but I have already so much on my list.
However, with all I've been through I'm worried I might grow numb to this kind of stuff.
I really don't want to become such an outer god of the kind Zika fears.
I want to stay myself.
And to ensure that I have to think like a human.
And normal humans, without deteriorated mentality, simply don't creepily devour things with monsterlike...
I don't even know how to call what I have!

So as things are like this at the moment, I should from now on absolutely make sure to avoid getting into situations that force me to react like this.
And that means I will from now on abstain from entering this special nightmare realm, no matter what.

But this leaves me with a problem.
Whenever I sleep I get somehow pulled to this place.
As I said, maybe this happens because all the demons in me came from there.
Some kind of homesickness?
Urgh, creepy!

I have to find a way around that.
At the moment I am back at home, but it's not like I could or would want to spend the whole night desperately trying to keep myself occupied.
Mum works part-time so it really wouldn't be fair on my side to risk waking her up.
But sleeping is bad as well as I just learned.
With this, I have eliminated sleeping and staying awake here overnight and for sure I won't go out there to all the nightly ghosts.

Then what is left?
I am seriously at a loss.
If I would just have a place to go.
A place of my own where I won't get bothered by all these terrible things that are waiting to come at me.

Sigh!
I have an idea!
Or rather Zika had.
Yet I wonder if this really would be a good one.
I could go... to me.

I mean Zika said I have something like an ongoing dream inside me that I can control.
And if I dwell in my dreams, then isn't this kinda like sleeping?
It could maybe be the solution I was looking for.
So I decide to give it a try.

But before I get started, I grab myself a watch.
I am not so stupid to believe there wouldn't be issues with keeping track of the time.
On the other side, this way of thought could be flawed if time runs there differently.
Yet it's the only precaution I could come up with.

I place myself on my bed and start to think about this special place.
How it is inside me.
How I am linked to it.
How I could get there.
Concentrating hard, I press my mind to visit there.
But for some reason, I cannot notice any reaction.
After a while, I still cannot perceive anything happening at all, so that I exasperated open my eyes.

And am there!