Dum bene se gesserit. As long as he, she or it behaves well....

from contractual texts

Ximinez	Stop. Stop there! Stop there. Whew! Our chief weapon is surprise, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
Fang	You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. My old man said follow the...
Biggles	That's enough. (to Lady Mountback) Now, how do you plead?
Lady Mountback	We're innocent.
Ximinez	Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER'
Biggles	We'll soon change your mind about that!
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DIABOLICAL ACTING'

Monty Python

 

 

"Recruiting" Azais had many advantages. Not only was she talented at oiling a female body, a wonderful thing only to be recommended, but better, I didn't have to exterminate several families and I gained access to the information network of higher society through her. I was very pleased by that fact, killing was necessary yes, but mostly wasteful. And information is always delicious. Even though I learned large parts already through my other feeders, it is always helpful to get confirmations, background or contrary messages. The contradictory messages were especially stimulating. I could rank or score each piece of information and assign it to the informant. In time, I would be able to distinguish quite well how to treat a news item and the producer. Of course, I treated each source exactly the same in terms of compensation. No need to scare the wrong people. Even false information has it´s worth. Azais was a very interesting prey. I decided to feed her the findings from my other sources and see what she did with them. Maybe I could even make her the head of my intelligence service. At least if she proved herself in the job and was suited to advanced indoctrination. But I had a good feeling about Azais, and I don't mean the feeling between my thighs. At least not only.

 

Somehow I was keen to see her reaction when I showed her the trick with my Enigma. Well, maybe not the Enigma itself, the results would be enough for my purposes for now. The intricacies and details of artistry within an intelligence agency, specifically my intelligence agency could wait until I was sure of her loyalty.

 

It was a wonderful sight to see so many women, willing and eager to serve me. It had been about a month since the housewarming of my dinky little beauty temple that I could see a definite upswing in the motivation of my slaves. It helped tremendously that everyone could see that when my girls wore collars, it was because they wanted to. Mostly inside the house or when they wanted to show off. The collar had become something of a status symbol. Like expensive jewelry or something like that. Also that they could take the chokers off on their own contributed to everyone believing I would release them if they met the few conditions I set. Amazing what kind of motivation someone can develop when there is only one goal to achieve. Even if, as here, it was not complete freedom. It was an exchange in a way. One prison for another. And I won't deny it just because there was no yoke to be seen didn't mean they were no longer in my net. They had the freedom I gave them. And their illusions. The key was they liked it now or would be learning it in time.

 

It is undeniably morally and ethically reprehensible to use mind control. So what? I am of the opinion that when necessity speaks, morals and ethics sit at the children's table. For me there is no reason to turn the other cheek. I am not a fucking savior. Whoever comes to me with ethics and morals, I penetrate them to death with philosophy: No one who lives with others in a community is free from constraints. Only who is alone, is really free. Also I am not free in this world, too. The so-called gods have carefully, ok maybe not too carefully,  chosen the cards we have received and then distributed them. When I say my slaves are better off than anyone else, that is both a truth and a rationalization. Absolutely correct. One does not exclude the other. Just because I'm right doesn't mean you have to like it. But if I let myself be deterred by these trivialities, I would never get anything done. And so I have several thousands who are motivated to trade one yoke for another yoke. Every month, each of my "hires" went through at least a week of my "training". Successfully, from their point of view as well as from mine. And slowly but surely there were more and more.

 

What puzzled me were the rather enormous numbers of slaves sold to me from Nagronde. It was a majority of demi-humans in the beginning, but it turned more and more towards humans. I got unbelievable quantities of orphans from Nagronde virtually free delivered. It even went so far that I had to prioritize the highway to Nagronde, and I specially equipped my rest houses with shelters and food. I was making large loans to this country and yet my income outweighed my cash flow. I was aware of this discrepancy but ignored it. At least until Mariette presented me with an "excited" message from my bank. One of the loans of my "money changers" and "loan sharks" had burst. And suddenly I was the owner of a larger number of islands. The borrower apologized profusely about the fact that the repayment had burst and we would like to take possession of the security offered for the loan. My "loan shark" who had made the deal was close to tears. But I simply gave the order to classify the customer as a risk and to demand a higher security for the next loan. The collateral was to include both land and people who would be used as slaves for at least a year before their release.

Azais had solved the puzzle in the meantime. The pope needed gold. For his personal purposes and for reasons of state. Meant gold for a war. Or wars, I do not care how many wars he decide to fight. The nuncio in Mitoran was not on good terms as his father's bastard, and I gained valuable insight into the personality of His Holiness Pope Anturius the Third of the Holy Empire of Nargonde. In the Christian context, his mortal sin would be vanity. In my context, a delicacy to be exploited. It happened that Percyval was in the pocket of Cheval, so to speak, and as nuncio was only too willing to follow both the calls of the Vatican, that is, the Pope, and mine. Percyval was only too eager to follow Cheval's and my wishes, as long as I took Cheval before his eyes he was the proverbial clay in our hands. He was a strangely twisted man. His kink, I wouldn't say appealed to me or even impressed me, was remarkable. A good dash of submissiveness mixed with masochism and voyeurism garnished with a healthy dose of cuck and slight hints of denial. His growing up and his relationship with his papal father had at least skewed his sexual proclivities quite a bit. From what I gathered he was remarkably sane. His last fantasy was something really warped. As a school principal, I punished his two "daughters" for their poor academic performance by putting them both over my knee one after the other and performing an intense spanking as corporal punishment. Cheval, as a bad mother who did not have her "daughters" under control, was tied naked over the buck and taken by me. It seemed somehow fitting to me, at that moment, that his "daughters" should give him a blowjob in the process. It was already somewhat disturbing how much the played incest turned him on. The two "daughters" were sisters, hookers in advanced training on dominance and submission. For both it was something like practical lessons. A psychiatrist or therapist would probably have the greatest pleasure in Percy, at least after the first shock would be overcome. But, to come back to the point, it was clear to me that the treaties that the Church had concluded were not worth the paper they were written on. But I can do many things with this documents. Even if they are not paper but parchment. The Pope speculated, based on what I had been told, that the bank would classify any lands as encumbrances. And a bank would not pump additional gold into a burden. Well, a bank might not. I was not a bank. The islands were interesting, not far from my future territory. I would only need a few ships and sailors. A navy, so to speak.

 

Maybe there was even coffee there? My coffee addiction ... No, I can stop anytime. Immediately.

 

Getting back to necessity, I needed a name. Well, not really need, but somehow I couldn't keep calling my subordinates just "the girls." As cute and appropriate as that was. My girls deserved a name. A good name and not a fake name like the Meritocracy of German Nation. As cool as that sounded. As it always is with names, whether it's baby names, nations or street names, it's never easy. And it always takes a while to find the right one. In the end, only one name remained.

 

In one book, or rather in a whole series of books - if I think about it, it must have been a shelf meter of books - various groups and organizations were described. Two of them had always been my favorites. They were opposite to each other but still one. Like the sides of a coin. Both consisted only of women and possessed characteristics that I wanted to see in my girls. One group was the Bene Gesserit or sometimes called the Reverend Mothers. Political. Sly. Profound. Calculating. Wait-and-see. Strategic. The other group were the Honored Madres. Violent. Deadly. Seductive. Decisive. Tactical. It took me time to decide, both groups had a good name.

 

Pragmatism won out. The essence that made both organizations, what held them together at their core. The metal that makes the coin. Something simple, memorable and comprehensive.

 

The Sisterhood.

 

I'm not above adopting something if it works. My girls will all be sisters. And I'll be their mommy. Damn this thought made me horny.

 

My schools and training facilities were doing splendidly. So well, in fact, that I started making the printing press cause I needed learning material in quantity. The first pieces I planned to print were school books and manuals. A little ahead of time but that was not too inconvenient. The early spread might come in handy for me later. It was annoying, however, that I had to push paper production as well. What passed for paper here was only conditionally suitable for printing. The sawmill became more useful again.

 

The Autobahns were very popular. They were fast, convenient and safe. Well, they were not free. But there was always quick help if there were accidents. There was always accommodation nearby and the possibility to send messages. The merchants and the trade guild were delighted. Among the nobles, through whose fiefdoms the Autobahns passed, or the remaining brigands, my Autobahns were not only greeted with jubilation. The nobles were happy about the increased trade, but not happy about not sharing in the revenue. Most of the time it was enough for the trade guild to tell them that if they tried to interfere with us, the guild and me, they would end up in a trade ban. But it was also certain that there would be at least one idiot who was too stupid to see the signs of the times. For this case a Darwin event was necessary willy-nilly. Among the remaining gangs, due to the now rare caravans on the old roads, a certain restlessness due to low income set in. Customs, well aware of the normal modus operandi of gangs and their identities, kept order in an inimitable manner. Enlistment by recruitment, conscription by enslavement, promotion by breathtaking or simply expulsion. Yes, the additional bounty for each "won" employee provided some incentive for my customs officers to be aggressive and determined in their approach. Admittedly. Complaining at a high level runs in the blood of Germans. Better to be happy.

 

Wherever available, the trade guild began to use my messaging to inquire about prices or place orders. Mort and Kul were enthusiastic customers. And it helped that I gave them a special tariff. Both of them insistently asked if I would not be willing to expand the network of my Autobahns and messaging routes to other countries faster. I am such a generous person, on the condition that both the Trade Guild and the Adventurers Guild support me in this, I was gladly willing to make this sacrifice. The exchange between the branches of the respective guilds were growing more and more. It is a delight to be able to lend a helping hand.

 

"My Mistress, you look so wonderfully happy when you smile like this. May I be of service to you?" Mariette, my sweet and eager minion. But of course you may.

 

My army, no - the military arm of the Sisterhood, was slowly taking shape. An unexpected side effect of using mind control during lessons in magic was that the Japanese words were copied remarkably accurately. It was probably due to the way I started the lessons. Each student was expected to follow and learn the material thoroughly. In any case, the result was that all of them had a good selection of magic countermeasures and a few sneaky tricks to attack with. While the main focus was on non-lethal applications, after all, a prisoner I can interrogate and then subsequently enslave and turn over, a knife rammed into the body in the right place was sufficient for anything below a proper military confrontation. And my hope was to avoid this form of violence as long as I could.

 

Did I mention that each sister had now mastered the heartbeat locator and the invisible trick? My own little quip on the subject was better, but keeping an ace or two up my sleeve couldn't hurt. Maybe my lieutenants slash wifes.

 

 

Electricity was slow to spread. Argh. Of course, I don't mean how fast electricity moves inside a wire. How many people had access to electricity and used it. There weren't many of those. I was at the top and then nothing came for a long, very long, damn long time. Unfortunately, "a damn long time" was the first incident of conflict. It made me want to tear my hair out that it was, of all things, smartphone charging that led to a rift. Fateful. I hate fate, especially when the script is rigged against me.

 

The boys among the heroes were pissed. At me. Because their smartphones ran out of juice but the female heroes didn't have the slightest problem. The seven of them demanded ultimately to have access to power. Why didn't they just come over? I had no idea. Which was a problem in itself. My network in the palace was pretty thin. Apparently it didn't occur to anyone to just give their smartphones to the girls either? If they didn't want to just come along. Enku-kun checked in with me regularly and there were always one or two of her classmates in her company. While I had a pretty good idea of what the heroes were capable of, scary enough for me, there was a lot I was missing. Where I was sure, everything that did not lead to a fight I could handle. Not knowing who was pulling the strings in the background was driving me a little kooky.  And I didn't mean the cookie between my legs.¹I had a pun here in the original German. "Jemanden auf den Keks gehen" (to annoy someone) and "mein Plätzchen essen"(eat my cookie). Keks and Plätzchen means the same. Unfortunately, I found nothing comparable until I came across kooky and cookie. Hope you like.

 

I could just ask Enko-kun to find out more. Or, I could ask Enko-kun to organize a conversation between me and the boys. Being given responsibility increases one's self-esteem. Not only among girls, this is true for boys as well. I didn't care where or when. Whether at my place or in the palace, or even in a completely different place was all the same. The presence of Sadanobu-kun required some consideration. As long as I was smart, his ability should not be dangerous to me. Truth was one thing, but self-righteousness made me more uncomfortable. It was no help to me that I felt I was worrying unnecessarily. Sucks.

 

Thinking about the dwarves was not really a workaround. Throinain had let it be known that the Steiger was willing to make the deal, but he wanted to talk to me about something else before we sealed everything with a good ole' handshake. To a marriage I would say categorically no. Then I could make out with the tree-hugging elves right away. Throinain looked a little unhappy when I told him I didn't care as long as I got what I wanted AND didn't have to get married. His expression was downright alarmed after I told him I already had fifteen other companions. Unnecessary complications are undesirable for me.

 

No, distracting myself was not an option.

 

Except that it was an option after all. After all, what use is a communication network if you don't use it? Therefore, I would like to tell you a true fairy tale to pass the time.

 

 

Once upon a time, long, long ago, on a road in a land far, far away, there was a group full of brave, just, sincere, generous and pious Inquisitors. Sent to find the evil and wicked and deliver them to the righteous retribution of the gods. These amiable Inquisitors were no less than ten handsome men dressed in splendid robes and ten beautiful but pious women who assisted them. As pure in spirit as their bodies were pure from lust. They had set out on the arduous journey surrounded by their loyal, heavily armed and armored knights who called themselves paladins of the true and supreme God. There were no less than twenty of them, accompanied only by their hard-working squires, who helped the brave paladins to care for their steeds and relieved them of all the little worries and troubles so that they could go about their important task of protecting the selfless Inquisitors and carrying out the judgment in the name of their God without distraction. It happened at this time that their most beneficent and wise religious leader, His Holiness Pope Anturius the Third, of the Holy Empire of Nargonde, sent the Inquisitors on an immensely important quest. A quest to find the repulsive evil in the realm of the nasty and brutal King of Mitoran. There were very dark and sinister rumors going around. Of an evil that was conjured up in the north. In the lands of Mitoran where the shadows grow. Devils in the form of young people. Outwardly pretty to look at, but inside foul to the bone. A horror waiting to strike like a murderous wave of dread upon the faithful people of the Church and the Holy Empire of Nargonde. It was terrible to imagine what fate the people would have to suffer if the Inquisition did not sacrifice itself selflessly to oppose the calamity. At first, the group rejoiced with joy, their arduous journey shining with happiness, as they found a miraculously straight and easy path to follow that would lead them to their divinely destined destination. But the first trouble lurked not far away, only a few kilometers after they had blessed Mitoran soil with their righteous and holy presence, in the form of a rogue-looking and acting troop of bandits. In gloating voices, these wretches demanded an incredible fortune for the use of the trail in the name of the cruel Witch of the North, Laura the Usurer. An affront to the deeply ascetic Inquisitors. They could not squander the gold of the impoverished faithful for such frivolous things as road tolls. The peaceful but brave paladins shooed away this cowardly, lowly rabble with a stern look. The rascals, jumping away from the splendidly approaching war horses, fled in wild disintegration along the road. To the great joy of all, there was a meager lodging with delicious rations, soft beds and splendid baths just a few hours' journey later. Truly their God had blessed this quest.²IDK, is the wording in a way that sounds like a fairy tale? Hope so.

 

 

The fucking assholes had refused to pay the toll and attack my employees. What filthy sons of bitches. I hang the pigs on the nearest gallows as a deterrent and slit their bellies so that the guts hang down!

 

Well, I was a little upset.

 

And so it came to pass that the cruel Witch of the North, Laura the Usurer, swung herself up on her roaring, stinking monster called "Beach Buggy" and with two of the abominations set to restraining our Inquisitors, who were under the protection of the one true God, from their just and holy task of ...

 

Why beach buggy? Ah, maybe I should have mentioned it, my parents were categorically against giving me a car for my 16th birthday. Crap. A heavy blow for me. I wanted a ride, come what may, fuck what my parents thought. A girl is only young once! Bugger. As a gift or buy it myself was unfortunately denied me. But I was determined and I was not stupid. And I knew someone who knew someone. This someone was an older car mechanic with a large workshop well equipped with tools. The guy was a genius when it came to vehicles of all kinds. Always two of them. No more, no less. A master and a student. And the master took me under his wing and guided me to build my own little beach buggy. We chose what we wanted to build. We welded the frame. Built on parts we could build ourselves. We welded, assembled, screwed, painted, wired and connected the individual parts to my little wolf.

 

The Fight Wolf S4 1500 4x4, brand self-made. Unfortunately without road approval. It was a disgrace. But the registration authority wanted an outrageously high fee for the technical safety inspection. In Mitoran and on Mitonde? Fuck you TÜV!³TÜV = Technische Überwachungsverein. A German organization that technically inspects whether machines, devices, buildings and, among other things, cars. Famous and infamous at the same time. As a company, TÜV has a good international reputation. At least until in Brazil, a dam approved by the TÜV broke. Current findings indicate that although there were major concerns, massive pressure was exerted to issue the permit. To hell with the fucking registration! YEAAAAHHAA!

 

Without power limit the car was like a little pig on the slope that wanted to be driven out. And to hell with it, what the heck had I built a Autobahn for if I wasn't going to fucking use it?

 

The kids were shrieking gleefully like they were on a roller coaster in the back seats and Mariette ... well, was a little green in the face. No idea why, it definitely wasn't due to my driving. Word of honor. Scout's Honor!

Apparently I had built enough of my buggy independently to be considered by the system to be of my own manufacture. Not a superweapon - but if that wasn't really nice and comfortable, what was? Ok, I had to promise to take everyone for a spin. It was a great feeling to drive with 120 Km/h through the landscape. You know the saying about how you can tell if you're a happy motorcycle or beach buggy rider? That's right, by the flies between their teeth.

 

Taking Enko-kun and Sadanobu-kun along was somehow easier than I had thought. Enko had simply pulled Sadanobu along with her and dragged him into the buggy when I had asked. Under the envious looks of the rest of the heroes. Therefore the promise to make a joyride with everyone.

 

The wild ride was great, even Mariette, after throwing up the second time, could at some point appreciate the fly-by of the landscape and the overtaking of the snail-slow caravans. In short - my mood was pretty darn good. My libido was at peak revs and if I hadn't had two minors in the back seat, Mariette could have experienced the joys of outdoor sex. If I had a dick, a blowjob at 100 would be worth a thought too.

 

But back to our brave, big-hearted visitors from Nagronde. The dirty scoundrels who want to bounce the toll.

 

Thanks to the message route, I was informed about the incidents before the group had even reached my first rest stop. My customs officers, employees of the rest stops and road workers were instructed not to take any risks, only to point out, if it was safe to do so, that a fee would have to be paid for the use of the road and that violations would be punished. I myself hurried in my vehicle to meet the Inquisitors. Losing customs officers and employees at this early stage was wasteful. And the customs consisted of former bandits who were not unfamiliar with violence but would be defeated by paladins and their squires. If not wisdom, then at least the instinct of self-preservation would ensure that no customs officer would voluntarily seek a senseless fight. As soon as all had learned the right "attitude" in their trainings, this would work better. For now, it just wasn't the right time or place. This was a case for the cruel Witch of the North, Laura the Usurer!

 

Oh, I forgot to mention, I had commissioned a set of gallows. Better to have some on hand and not need them than to need some and have to wait for them. And so, on our noble steed Rosinante, we rode bravely toward the Inquisition. Perhaps I should have told Enko-kun and Sadanobu-kun why I was making the journey. Ah, shucks.

 

I stopped for a pee break and passed on my knowledge. After all, Sadanobu-kun was predestined to reveal the intentions of the Inquisition. As long as he didn't open his mouth at the wrong moment, of course. The mood in the peanut gallery was a bit depressed after that. Understandable, given the prospect of a horde of religious fanatics wanting to see one burned at the stake. Growing up is not easy, revered Kouhai. Many an ugly truth awaits an adolescent.

The buggy as a ride was really hot. It was a hoot that the system only considered homegrown food and drinks. I would otherwise be swimming in home brewed coffee. The world is unfair. That's the ugly truth. Sigh.

 

Fortunately, it only took a little calculating and guessing which rest stop the Inquisitors would be heading to next for the night. My employees had not been thrilled to be honored to entertain such holy guests. Apparently, the Inquisition expected any hospitality and travel expenses to be waived due to their special assignment. Sad but unfortunately true. If the host nevertheless asked for his fee, they just laughed and the group simply moved on. When we arrived, I was already greeted with a warning message concerning carousers who were on the Autobahn. Number, appearance, names, direction - basically everything needed to give the group a warm welcome at their next stop. The innkeepers were delighted to see me and very pleased that I would take care of the problem myself. After all, it wasn't every day that the boss came by to check on things and lend a hand. Sadanobu-kun was pretty smart for his age. He suggested that he and Endo-kun help serve the guests who would soon be arriving. Meanwhile, I and Mariette could act as guests ourselves. Proudly, he explained, both Endo-kun and himself owned the appropriate attire. Cosplay costumes. I was a bit incredulous and asked for a demonstration. Um, so yeah, my jaw dropped and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. When they were both changed, Endo-kun was wearing a classic sexy maid costume. Mariette looked like she would walk over Endo-kun's dead body to wear the costume. Maybe it was in her blood? Mariette looked at me with those deliciously begging brown eyes. If I didn't want to risk disappointment, I had no choice. What else could I do? I asked Endo-kun for the pattern and a picture of her in the dress. But when Sadanobu-kun stood in front of me in his Sebastian outfit as a butler, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. I chose the safe way. Sadanobu-kun and Endu-kun would act as my butler and maid. Both of them could never work in a place like this dressed like that. Much too conspicuous. Why I also asked Sadanobu-kun for the patterns and a shot I don't know. But I have to admit, both of them looked really good in their cosplay suits. But personally, I thought my uniform was much more appropriate. After all, I'm not playing a role here. In short, the stage was set. The only thing missing was the appearance of the Holy Inquisition.

 

As soon as our meal was ready, good timing I know, the door flew open and two paladins rushed into the taproom with their swords drawn. No idea what they had expected. The cruel Witch of the North? Both looked around the taproom and eyed us sharply before letting the remaining people in. My innkeepers were simultaneously bombarded with outrageous demands. The best rooms, the best food and drink - the whole range of requests that high-ranking and very important church people such as Inquisitors were entitled to expect when they graced a roadhouse with their presence. Other guests, like my humble self, only disturbed the picture. Of course I did not follow the request immediately to pack my things and to disappear. After all, I was still waiting for my meal. It would be an inexcusable waste to just let it go to waste when the cook had already gone to so much trouble. Of course, there was one who barked at me:

"Who are you wenches to disobey the command of a paladin in holy orders on the spot?"

Ah - wonderful cue, isn't it?

"I wasn't expecting some kind of Holy Inquisition here? Be off with you and don't disturb my appetite."

As instructed, the innkeepers spread the word that I was an ambassador. It was one thing to throw a woman or even a noblewoman out of an inn, but with an ambassador, even if she was female, things looked a bit different. Diplomatic entanglements could have unexpected consequences, after all, diplomats spoke a completely different language. It was also extremely regrettable that I had already reserved and paid for virtually the entire food supply, i.e. the one with the high quality, for me and my table. But the cook would certainly be able to prepare a good meal from the rest. The Inquisitors did not look happy. I, of course, was generous as always.

"Why doesn't the Holy Inquisition from Nagronde join me at my table? Perhaps the leader of your paladins has time to join us as well? My table certainly has room."

When one is invited so politely, even the Inquisition cannot say no.

After all, according to their own statements, they had to be poor as church mice. A warm meal for free would be just adequate.

 

The introduction on the part of the Inquisition began with His Reverence, went over His Excellency up to finally His Eminence. The entire range of church ranks was represented at my table.

 

"Well, what does the Holy Inquisition bring to Mitoran? The summoning of the heroes, too? King Edward seems to be in dire need of some help in defending his realm, at least from what I've been able to observe so far. Would you like another drink, Your Eminence?"

Why beat around the bush? It wasn't much of a secret, after all.

 

"Lady Ambassador, to what extent are you aware of a heroic summoning?" the Cardinal replied to me.

 

"Now, now, Your Eminence, it was to be expected after the other paladin and the priestess failed so gloriously. When the two were enslaved they sang like canaries. That the Inquisition is now sending a whole squad is no big surprise. After all, what would a whole contingent of Inquisitors want to investigate in a country like Mitoran? No, no, I'm sure you're concerned with summoning the heroes."

I couldn't think of any other reason, if not for the heroes, the Inquisition would have no reason to be here. There was certainly enough to do at home.

 

"Well, Lady Ambassador, it may be true that there are certain rumors. And the Inquisition investigates rumors to avoid the faithful coming to harm. There is only one true God and the blasphemy of paying homage to false gods must be punished!"

Blasphemy? Normally, the Inquisition only deals with heresy, i.e. heretics, but if blasphemy was also involved, magic or the "wrong" kind of magic could also be the trigger for an investigation by the Inquisition.

 

"The Inquisition always takes the initiative where it is considered necessary by the Church and where the circumstances are met. As I said, I am not surprised. Whereby I must say, I have never understood the meaning. As a woman, I simply lack the deeper knowledge and understanding why invoking heroes is so blasphemous. Is it really necessary to burn these heroes at the stake like witches? Aren't there other ways? But what do I know, I'm just a woman. Udne, bring us some more of what passes for wine here."

It was a bit mean of me to let Endu-kun walk through the line of paladins and squires in her outfit. Guaranteed there was someone or someones who couldn't keep their hands to themselves. But it wouldn't hurt if Endu-kun learned from personal experience how the church and its people operated. If it got out of hand, I was close by. My butler "Sebastian" was slightly horrified to be groped by various Inquisitors and paladins. Probably a whole new life experience. Boy Love. "Sebastian", however, was not inclined to give in to the desires of strange men.

 

"Gentlemen Inquisitors and Paladins, I know my servants are exquisite to look at, after all that was the reason they were hired into my service, but I would ask you not to disturb them while they are working."

One of the paladins asked curiously, "And after work?" Opportunities should always be seized, shouldn't they?

"Well my handsome paladin, that depends, you understand good staff of this quality is hard to find. As long as it ends without injury I'm sure you can have fun." I was not so sure that an appropriate attempt by the paladin, would not result in serious, if not fatal injury on his side. Endu-kun told me some frightening things about what she was capable of.

 

"Your Eminence, before we were interrupted, you were about to expose to me the blasphemy and heresy of hero summoning. I must say, your explanations are fascinating, even riveting. Please continue."

The expositions and explanations were a bunch of balderdash, to say the least. In the end, it boiled down to, my God is the best, the greatest, and anyway. Anything that ran counter to their religious beliefs had to be converted or wiped out. Basically, it is quite incomprehensible to me why the other gods did not intervene. Maybe it was just a game of who could get the most fanatics. The fact was, hero summoning was a problem. The heroes had to die because they came from a "wrong" god. It didn't help that my two present heroes had seen the gods themselves.

It is always a shame when knowledge replaces faith. At least for organizations that based their power on blind faith. Truly a shame.

 

For my two kouhai, the experience of why and how they were to be promoted from life to death was not a pleasant one. It was perhaps a bit mean of me to tempt the Inquisitors to more and more detailed descriptions. However, the performances were really quite entertaining. Perhaps I shouldn't have been quietly humming "Glory, glory hallelujah" in English and mixing it with "Gory gory what a helluva way to die" Gory Gory with lyrics either. Endu-kun turned slightly green, while "Sebastian," staying true to his role as butler, just looked at me indignantly. Oops.

 

Admittedly, it was both morbid curiosity and malicious glee on my part when I expressed my interest in witches. I could now simply claim that the Inquisition resorted to the same methods as in "Malleus maleficarum" the so-called "Hexenhammer" by Heinrich Kramer. Well, honestly, there is no Heinrich Kramer here and therefore the "Hexenhammer" was never written. It is also commonly wrong to believe that the Hexenhammer contains meticulous descriptions of torture. In reality, there are only superficial references. Only when torture is to be used is explained with precision. As a novel, this crude work of justification has only a very limited entertainment value. In my opinion, Kramer was only interested in keeping his job as an Inquisitor. Seriously, what are you supposed to think of a guy who derives the Latin "femina" from "fides" and "minus"? Less faith? Are you still up for it?

 

For horror and snuff fans, the almost graphic descriptions of what happened to witches in this world was a truly visceral experience. Sadly, my tastes were a bit different. Hearing how best to slowly lower witches and warlocks into boiling water or force-feed them with manure to get a voluntary confession had a strange aftertaste. Smashing all the bones in the body with a rod or severing individual limbs one by one, on the other hand, was almost trivially classical. It's true, the Inquisition is not for the faint-hearted.

Mariette signaled to me that the preparations were complete. It had taken some effort to bring in enough of my customs officers. With not quite 150 armed men, there were not as many fighters available as I had hoped, paladins were not to be underestimated in battle. But there should be enough to keep anyone from escaping when the inevitable end came. The sign from Mariette told me my support had arrived and was at a comfortable distance from us. All non-relevant people as well as the horses were under control. I only had to worry about the ten Inquisitors with their paladins.

"I cannot imagine how it would be possible for paladins to stand against heroes. Oh, I don't doubt the firm faith written all over your faces, but what I've heard of the heroes' abilities doesn't bode well for your brave troops, Captain. You wouldn't be willing to demonstrate your skills, by any chance? As it happens, I know where we can find a witch. Would you gentlemen care to prove your valor to me in front of the door?"
Yes, yes, I know I'm cheating. True, the buildings of my roadhouses were much sturdier than the wood and mud houses more common here. But it would be pretty stupid of me to fight inside.

Did I say "me?" If I created incorrect expectations by that wrong choice of words, I am very sorry. What I was supposed to say was, my kouhai would take care of the Inquisition. It was instructive to watch.

"Where is the witch, Lady Ambassador? Take us to her!" the captain of the paladins demanded of me. Best I tell the truth?

"It is possible that I have not been completely honest with you, honored gentlemen. It is possible that I have confused the number and designation. I think there were two. And they were heroes instead of a witch. I'm uncomfortable with that now. Endu-kun, Sadanobu-kun, I think the gentlemen from the Inquisition would like to talk to both of you. Please keep the damage to the buildings to a minimum." I stood a little apart from the chosen arena and let things take their course. It wasn't my fight, after all. Kind of?

 

It was a - memorable - sight. Two Japanese teenagers, in a butler and a maid costume, standing lonely in the middle, surrounded by angry grown men in armor and swords. In a western, I would immediately think of noon. High noon! "Do not forsake me, oh, my darling." High Noon

Regrettably, I couldn't think of a suitable samurai movie.

 

The bravest, or the most impatient - no one will ever know, of the paladins charged at Endu-kun, ripping his sword from its sheath. Only to run into Sadanobu-kun's fist and rest on the ground spitting blood. I have to hand it to him, he didn't fall out of character. His movement was true to style, precise and ... deadly. In the tense silence, the cough became first a gasp then a rattle, and in the end there was nothing at all. I had not seen magic or any particular martial art being used. Probably simple superiority by status points. Endu-kun pulled a very sharp looking katana sword out of nowhere, meaning out of her inventory. She stood frontally at first, holding the katana in front of her with both hands, the tip pointing slightly toward an opponent. However, she changed position with her left foot forward and turned slightly to the right. The sword now raised. I have no idea, but it was probably kenjiutsu or kendo somehow. And of course came the typical chuunibyou remark, "You're facing me now." Shucks, the poor paladin that was meant she cut up with two wonderful quick spins.

 

Lying in the dirt with two losses, the captain ordered a joint attack. From then on it was two heroes against 18 paladins plus ten Inquisitors from the cheap seats. A wild mess. Does anyone happen to have any popcorn? No? Crap.

<Increased body speed> <Increased accuracy> <Increased punch power> <Increased dodge value> "Sebastian" went for melee boosts.

<Sacred Barrier> echoed back in chorus from the paladins.

Sadanobu-kun mainly dodged his attackers, only striking when an opportunity for a good hit presented itself "KYAAAA".

Since the barrier was up, the victim, well the hit ones, did not die immediately. But at least a <Holy Healing> could now be heard coughing.

My Combat Maid slashed through a couple of Paladins, at least until she learned the simple truth: You don't block a European-style two-handed sword with a katana!

The subsequent CLING with which the broken blade hit the ground sounded pitiful even to my ears. But what do I know, I would have simply shot them all or mauled them with a chainsaw.

Without her sword, the maid was no less dangerous. An <ICE TAP> caused considerable stomach churning in one belly.

As uplifting as the fight was to watch, somehow I was already hoping for some "specials".

"Sebastian! Kill the men that get past me!" - "un!" Ahemm, was that a quote?

As a team, they both functioned well. Endu-kun would strike first and Sadanobu-kun would finish off the already stricken victim. Or they swapped roles.

<DESTROY THE ENEMIES OF THE ONE TRUE GOD! RAIN OF HOLY FIRE!>

Woah! Thousands of drops of fire rained down. Impressive.

<SHIELD> <REFLECTION>.

Ok, not quite as impressive.

<ARCTIC STORM>.

Uuhhhh. That's one Inquisitor frozen into a pillar of ice.

<SHATTERING BLOW>

Oops - now the Inquisitor is ice chunk shish kebab? Ugh. Despicable.

<SHADOW STRIKE> <DIVINE CLOAK> <STEP TO THE MARK> <HEALING OF THE BELIEVER>

It was obvious that the heroes had an advantage as far as magic was concerned. The Inquisition was no match for them and their advantage of greater numbers was none.

<FIRE OF THE MAGNIFICENT> <FAST STEP> <COURAGE OF DESPAIR> <RUSH> <ESCAPE STEP> <SLIDING SHADOW> <RIGHTEOUS ANGER>

The exchange of blows between the groups did not stop, due to the facts that one after another of the paladins fell and died on the ground, victory was probably only a matter of time.

When two Inquisitors fell victim to the heroes' combinations in quick succession, I could see a crack in the ranks of the zealots. The magic became noticeably more desperate. Finally.

<DIVINE LIGHT DESTROY THE ABOMINATION!> <NEPOSTE'S BLESSING PROTECT US> <ETERNAL PURGATORY>.

Quite big screen cinema!

 

 

After half an hour, the fight was finally over. Only two of the Inquisitors and one of the paladins had tried to escape and had run into the arms of the waiting customs. It was an easy game for the customs. The remnants of the Inquisition did not escape with their lives.

 

From my point of view, it was instructive to see how both parties tried to kill each other. What was shameful was how long it had taken my kouhai to win. Well, maybe heroes were bound to deliver a particularly appealing fight.

 

Nevertheless, the fight left me with an ambivalent feeling. Well, I had seen the abilities of both sides with my own eyes. But it was unsatisfactory. No real advanced understanding. The divine assistance was disappointingly weak. Was that really all there was, or were there still aces up my sleeve? My Kouhai did not definitely give the impression of reaching their limits throughout the battle. What was worrisome in any case was the high status values. In a fair fight, I would have a hard time holding my own.

 

After the successful resolution, I left the bodies hanging next to the Autobahn. With signs telling what toll and fare dodgers would face if they used my Autobahn without paying. The squires went into customs or became road workers, depending on their talent. The priestesses would accompany me back to Nuldur. Every single one, wherever the journey went was enslaved. Goes without saying, doesn't it?

 

The return trip was smooth. Pulling a trailer with slaves certainly did not increase the performance of my buggy. As promised, after our arrival, I took everyone for a spin and as a highlight, of course, we sped along the Autobahn. The rush of speed is always something special. Although there were exceptions. Some were much more content to tour the sights instead of speeding wildly through the area.

 

I also found out exactly what the problem was with the power for the smartphones. Apparently there was a certain court wizard who painted my hatred of men in the blackest of colors. My hint to ask the girls what had really happened to Michaele and why, led to great laughter. My promise, everyone was allowed to charge his smartphone at any time as long as it was not at night time, was well received by the heroes.

 

In the end, even though this time I was still able to patch the tear with a band-aid, the discord always grew from a starting point. Inevitable.

At least I had shown the heroes a flag to think about. Someone was after them solely for religious reasons and Edward wanted to use them as a military. In case they hadn't realized that yet. It should be a sufficient sidetrack.

The basic willingness of the two adolescents to kill was also of concern. Normally, one would not expect this behavior.

 

 

Another point that had to be considered. Rushing behind my back was not in itself a reason to kill someone. But it was enough to give him more attention. And everyone likes attention.