CHAPTER 12:

TAKING STUFF FROM BANDITS IS MATHEMATICALLY PROVEN TO BE NOT STEALING

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Meanwhile, the schoolgirls - I mean bandits, had changed subject, to Steve's relief. 

"Do you guys know a story of a ghost who haunts this forest?" The bearded man said in an eerie tone, while leaning close to the fire which shone up his face in an unnatural and unsettling way.

"In the same village that the girl Steve's been trying to woo, about fifteen years ago lived a girl named Elisa Quiet, also the same age as her… Or she would have been, if she was still alive. You see, her father and mother died in a fire when she had only just turned three, leaving her an orphan. Luckily, she was later adopted by a middle aged couple, and she was given a loving family… At least, that's what the outsiders say.

"For the couple were clever, yes, very clever, at hiding what they were truly doing behind the curtain of that house. Everyday you would see them walk around the village, hand in hand with Elisa, smiling gently. Even Elisa always smiled ear to ear when she was with them. That's how they were hidden, so very well from the onlookers. Now, do you know what "they" were? Yes, "they" were the bruises. Bruises that were as large as a man's fist all over her baody, one layer of faric behind Elisa's clean clothes. And bald spots, covered by her lovely pink cloche.

"And if one went near their house at night and listened closely, one would hear "sounds". "Sounds" of things being thrown, of dishes being broken, of voices seemingly from the most vile monsters, screaming and screeching. But never the voice of a child.

"For you see, Elisa was too young to understand. That the hands that threw furniture at her, that dove into her stomach, that poured water into her nose, that ripped her hair off by the bundle, were those of monsters that had taken human form. No, she thought those were the way her adoptive parents showed their love. For that was what those wretched creatures had taught her, drilled into her mind, before tearing her life apart. And even after all that, Elisa still smiled, because she was "loved".

"Until one day, Elisa disappeared, never to be found again. No one knew where she went, but nobody asked, because everyone knew where she went. The night before, their neighbors spotted the couple sneaking out into the forest at midnight, the same one we're in right now, carrying a bag the size of a small child. Everyone believed that was the last time they'd ever seen Elisa Quiet.

"But oh, so wrong they were. Because Elisa's still living, wandering the forest. And if one ever walks this place at midnight, she will appear before them and ask: "Do you want my love?"

"If you say no, then she will become sad and run away, leaving you in the forest… forever, unable to find a way back out, just like her. If you say yes, she will become happy, and give you her love. The kind of "love" she was taught, that is. And soon, your maimed body will be found at the edge of the forest, purple from bruises and blue from a lack of blood, as a little girl's chuckles are heard nearby."

At this point, all the bandits were leaning so close to one another and the fire, that they might turn into grilled skewers at any moment. Nobody moved, save for Steve who was slightly trembling and sweating. "Th... that's just something you made up. A ghost story to try and scare us, and I'm not buying it."

Seeing that, the bearded bandit smiled mischievously and added another line. "Sure, it might just be something I came up with for fun. But what if it was true? What if this is something that happens all the time, and all over the world there are children who wander the lost realm, hurt and cold, trying to find love just like Elisa? What if… she's behind you right now~"

"AHHHHHH!!!" Immediately, Steve felt something touching his back and inadvertently screamed. He jumped out of the spot he was sitting, sweating buckets. Still screaming, he snapped his body around, and found the hand of the bandit with a mustache hovering around the point where he felt the touch earlier. His scream faded as quick as it began.

"You bitch!" He yelled, his face as red as an apple. As he did, the other three bandits collectively laughed at him. 

"Little Steve is scared", they mocked.

"I'm not scared! It's basic human instinct to be surprised when encountering an unexpected event! The link between being surprised and being scared is non-existent!" Steve yelled, talking so quickly he could beat Eminen in a one on one rap battle. 

"Yeah, then why are your glasses so foggy I can't even see your eyes behind them?" Their boss sneered.

It was at this point that Steve realized he couldn't see very well in front of him. He took off his glasses, and found their lenses as white as snow. So he frantically rubbed them on his shirt beneath the armor. "This... I'm sweating because I'm hot, not because I'm scared!" He made another excuse.

"But we're in a forest. At night. Which means it's currently cold."

"Well, maybe not to you! I'm sensitive to heat, okay? A-Anyway, I  gotta take a piss, so I'm going." Steve put the glasses back on and tried to leave.

"Pissed your pants cause you're scared?" One of the bandits laughed.

"No, I need to because of the ale, you dumbass!" He yelled one last time, before briskly walking away from the fire and disappearing from their view.

"Watch out or Elisa's ghost might get you!" The bandits called after him as a last attempt to spook Steve further.

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"They really are teenage girls on a sleepover, aren't they?" Really. love stories, ghost stories and casual banters, it didn't feel like I was watching some bandits at all.

But that didn't mean I was just going to leave. Childish as they were behaving, I still remember what they discussed earlier, about their spoils and what they've done to acquire them. They were still bandits through and through, someone who stole from others.

Which meant if I caught them and handed them over to authority, I'd get a lot of money. Not to mention I could take what they had for myself. Fufufufufu.

What? What do you mean that's stealing you swine? Right, since you're obviously so stupid, let me educate you on why that is absolutely not the case.

Alright, so stealing is the opposite of giving, right? 

And giving is positive, that means stealing is negative, okay? 

The bandits steal from people, indicating that they're doing something negative right, you with me? 

So when I steal from them, it means that I'm doing something negative to the bandits, and double negative means positive, so that's why it's perfectly okay to take stuff from bandits.

Understood? Good. Now shut up, be a good boy, go sit in the corner and let the adult do their job.

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