My consciousness slowly swelled until finally the darkness that once claimed me was replaced with light.
Years of internet pop culture wanted me to believe I would see a bound Norwegian-looking prisoner in the back of an open carriage on a slowly snowing mountain upon opening my eyes.
Unfortunately, for my expectations, and my irises, the sight of a high noon sun greeted me on a clear summer's day.

"Ah, FOCK!"

A curse escaped my lips as I scrunch my eyes shut; trying, in vain, to block out the radiation that was blighting my rods and cones with its intensity.

"Wh-what happened?"

A voice sounding oddly like Darren's, but somehow feminine, sounded near, yet below me.
-Right I'm lying down that somewhat explains the origin-

I feel a weight press down on my upper right thigh, though what it IS, is somehow indistinct.
-I swear I was just wearing gyms shorts, I should be able to know what's touching me!-

Tilting my head downwards. I cautiously open my eyes to see Tah'Styr groggily propping herself up from a prone position between my legs, providing a great view of two dangling crimson globes, pressing her left hand onto my...-leather armor?...- covered thigh to support her.

"Darren?! What the fock?!"

I suddenly scuttle like a four-legged crab backwards from the asshole of a troll. The sudden jolt eliciting a feminine yelp of surprise from Darren as his impromptu crutch was wrenched out from under his supporting arm sending him, arms flailing, back down to holy Terra. His avatar's generous airbags cushioned the fall enough to prevent the face form scuffing up.
Heart pounding, I could feel the blood rush to my head, and other head. I may mentally know that she is a he IRL, but with how great the detail Myth-Land put into their models, AND Darren's Michelangelo-like touch when it comes to sculpting in the character creator; my monkey-brain, and lizard brain screamed in unison, "FOCK IT!". The only thing stopping me from making this situation worse is that the VR tech stops detailed tracking outside of the face and hands... or so I thought.
I stared down at my groin in an involuntary reflex to ensure that no camping will be done down under; yet, to both my relief, and severe horror there is thick leather preventing most of the deformation from occurring. -I. Do. NOT! Remember neither owning, nor putting on, any form of leather-plated pants. EVER!-

Two plus two started to slowly add up to four as I stared at my form-fitting fingerless leather gauntlets, only for it to become five when I added one still prone form of Fahkir, or Chris, to the equation.

"Whatthefock?", I breathed out.

My day is ruined, and my confusion is paramount. You see, unlike in those "Isekai" books of a few years back that were so popular, VR was not "Full dive" as it were, and unlike the VR "Goggles" of yester-years, we use a better "Fish-bowl" style to capture our face and bodies. Accompany that with the haptic gloves, and Omni-tread, capturing most of the player's movements was pretty detailed, just not fully detailed... Like right now.
Therefore, I started to tally up all the inconsistencies

1. Light so bright it can burn my retinas? Check.
2. Pain? Check.
3. New duds, who dis? Check.
4. The sense of touch? Check.
5. Sense of smell????. –Well, it does smell like daisies- Check.
6. Darren sounds more like Darena? A very weird check.
7. Chris? Unsure.
8... Why the fock are my ears feeling like they are being pinched, and why the fock does it feel like I have a whole body compression suit on? It's so tight that I am experiencing troubled breathing.
I quickly, and somehow expertly, unfasten the buckles all across my torso to enable proper breathing, then I pull down my hood. One-foot-long ears ending in points spring out from either side of my head, and start to bob to the movement of my head.
Out of all the things that are going on right now, this brought more anger than confusion to me.
I seethed.

"THEY TURNED ME INTO AH FOCKING KNIFE-EAR?... AH FOCKING SCOTTISH KNIFE-EAR?!"

Before my justified outburst occurred, and while I was having a serious moment of introspection, Darren had finally sat up, looked around a bit, and then was seen carefully prodding his avatar with a bewildered expression, most notably its funbags. At the sound of the overture of my outraged outburst, he listened then countered with his own.

"YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT ROUGH, THEY GOT RID OF MY DICK! AS IN THERE IS NOTHING THERE! GONE! VANISHED! DISA-"

"QUIET THE FUCK DOWN ASSHOLES; I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SHUT-EYE 'ERE!"

The prone form of Chris' avatar sat up a bit, and let out a mighty mouse’s roar. So much emotion was behind the roar that his... -or wait, hers?- New Yorker accent slipped out from its years of being overseas. Great another inconsistency to add to the ever-pilling list.
Chris started to get into a more comfortable position in the heavy armor, stopped halfway, and then shot straight up.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MY VOICE? WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE THIS? WHY THE FUCK CAN I FEEL THE ARMOR'S WEIGHT?"

He stopped mid rant then patted his crotch, then patted it more frantically with widening eyes hidden mostly behind a visor.

"AND WHERE'S MY FUCKING JOHNSON?!"

Indeed, getting a better look at Chris' avatar revealed that his once lustrous facial mane that could not be contained by his visored-barbute helmet was missing, replaced by an equally lustrous rear mane reaching his lower back in dual ginger braids. In addition, his shiny-steel cuirass was sporting two half spheres where his pectorals would be, albeit fairly shallow half spheres, and his cuisses jutted out a lot farther than I remember them doing. Even the flowery scrollwork that lined the plates somehow got more flowery. Adding all the hints again, I was left wondering why I was now the only male in our group.

"Oh shit, oh fuck! I think we got Isekaied guys."

Darren started to wring his hands; pacing back and forth, gnawing at his plump lower lip. It looks like the shouting has died down only to be replaced by hysterical breathing as the group slowly started to come to terms with their new situation, I included.
Chris fumbled with his chinstrap. Finally unbuckling it, he threw it to the ground with a labored breath, his hands firmly on his knees. It revealed a pair of misty emerald eyes, round face, thin lips, and an adorable button nose. He attempted to speak.

"*Inhale**exhale* I'm...*inhale**exhale* so... *inhale**exhale* screwed..."

I, on the other hand, was attempting to do the ol' "Wu-sha" Breathing technique to calm myself down. You know the whole fake meditation trick people tell you works to calm and center yourself. Hell I even did the following your breathing using the palms of your hands to "push" the air in and out. It only helped slightly.

"Darren... You're the weeb... You should know a lot about isekais... What can you tell the class?"

The mention of -fock it I'm gunna call it how I see it- her name, Darren stopped wringing her hands to cup her chin with a right while the left supported the elbow.

"Well... it honestly depends on which scenario we fall under. For starters, there is probably going to be some RPG aspect to it seeing as we were pulled from a game ourselves. Everyone try to bring up some part of your [menu]. If we can confirm that, other scenarios can be inferred by it."

Just as she instructed all three of us used our custom hand sign to open our GUI. Mine being a snap of my left hand, muffled by the leather covering them; Darren's, being the miming of opening a book; and finally Chris', with both hands' thumb and index outstretched in an "L" making an air camera.