<p.o.v Anderson Sachiko>

I just left my beloved's home, where I had forced a tryst on her brother. Covered in his cum I'm hoping his sister will now willingly hold me, embrace me, maybe even… 

I did this for love. But, while doing so, I had to be reminded of my painful past, of how unforgivable a person I am. My son… My beautiful baby boy, Mirai…

I seek forgiveness, for I am a horrible person. I fell in love once before and it made me a horrible woman, it was with an older man while I was in my first year in highschool. 

Hachi Kimura was his name. Black hair that was permanently greased back, always wearing bright red, white, or green suits. He had this dangerous air about him, but possessed a beautiful face. A really strong man with a chiseled square jaw.  He was 2 meters tall and built well, built like a house, and being near him made it feel like a safe 'house'.

After he met me he said:

"I don't want you to lose friends just because of me, bring them along if they'd like."

Just like that he begun always take me and my friends out telling us:

"Anything for my Sachi-chan."

...That was his answer for any request I made.

The way he'd say my name, always gave me thrills. We'd go wherever we wanted, do whatever we wanted, act however we wanted.

Me and my friends were from an all-girls school, so with this man treating us and taking us out, we felt like we had a leg up on the other girls in our class. So, it was only natural that he'd expect things from us.

It was hard in the beginning, but we got used to it. Then he'd take us out to meet other friends of his. The girls knew that I was in love so they offered more often to play with his associates. 

One day, me and my girls got outta hand with a karaoke receptionist because she wouldn't let us drink. Our parents found out and we were forced to separate from each other and that man.

I did the former, not the latter.

At first it was only me sneaking out to see him. Until one day I became pregnant.  As nervous as I was to tell him, I was equally thrilled. The way he'd always say, get pregnant with my child or this will definitely knock you up. I thought he would be happy to find out...

So, when I told him I was pregnant… he denied it.

When I proved beyond a doubt I was pregnant, and told him that the baby was his... He called me a liar, and beat me. 

"How can it be mine? With all the men you've fucked?"

At the time, the only one I’d slept with was him.  I told him this and I promised him it was the truth.  When we got a paternity test, it confirmed my words.

That’s when hell that became my life had started. 

I had hoped he'd marry me, so I told my family.  They spoke with Kimura and it turned into a heated argument.  Kimura refused to marry me and by the end of it, I was given a choice.  Abort the baby, or try to live with that man.

I chose him. 

Once I moved into that small apartment with him I became a punching bag. He'd beat me for not making breakfast on time, or in too much a timely manner. He'd bring women home and would beat me to show them what would happen if they refused his advances.

As my belly grew bigger, he started giving me pills to take.  And after I'd get loopy from them, he'd have me drink alcohol.

The pills I later found out, were heroin. He was trying to force a miscarriage through drug use. 

Being a part of his "family," he had rules to live by. He couldn't directly kill his unborn child. But, if the mother was negligent, that's a whole different story.

My horrible life continued, until Sasuke was born.

Kimura no longer stayed with us permanently anymore, just coming by from time to time only to beat me and ravage my body. 

He'd leave blaming the crying baby, or the stench in the apartment.

Over time, I started blaming Sasuke for his father not being around. Since the age of two, I'd beat him everyday just for making noise.

As Kimura’s visits grew more scarce, my beatings to Sasuke grew more severe. Sasuke had fresh welts, bruises, and cigarette burns on his body as a daily occurrence at my unstable hands. As time went by, nothing had changed.

Until I became pregnant again.

Still beating Sasuke as I was still being beaten by Kimura, this was the cycle of my life.

But when my second child was born four months early, I had a dream. A dream of a better future. I held my baby and saw that future.

Mirai. Is what I called my premature baby. 

I remembered hoping that he wouldn't die due to being born premature, then immediately abandoning him while I was getting high.

As much as I wanted a better future, things only got worse for us.

Kimura stopped coming by completely by then, and the personal hell I granted to Sasuke increased. 

How this boy managed to survive this long amazes me as I look back on it.

……

………

…. 

Our routine continued through the years and it led to one evening that was no different to any other.

As I beat my seven-year old Sasuke unconscious one night, I finally made my move to Mirai. He was so used to the cries and yelling, he could sleep through it soundly. So, I crept to his room, and stood over his body with a pillow in my hand.

*sniffle* *sniffle* *sniffle*

Mirai started crying in his sleep.

"Mama!... help…. Mama!"

Mama…? I'm... his mama…? What the hell am I about to do!?

I broke down, collapsed onto my knees, shoved that pillow in my own face, and cried.

My body that was defiled, my mind that was warped, my heart that was shattered because of that man, all tried to tell me something that day.

It's time to heal now.

I laid down with Mirai and tried to comfort him.

…..

……..

….

This was the start of a new chapter in my life. I never had to work before, because Kimura’s "family" paid for the apartment.  But, I wanted a job, because I had to become a better mom.

Nowhere would hire me.

I looked like a strung out junkie so who could blame them.

So I decided that in order to change my life, I have to change myself first.  I'd take the kids to play with me at the park while I worked out. I had also tried to get them to make friends.

Sasuke is beating any kid that gets close to Mirai? Isn't that too much? I'll scold him at home later.  I have to correct the behavior that I instilled in him.

It took a year for me to fully quit drinking. I had to wean myself off bit by bit. The drugs were easier to quit...financially, but it took a three-months span of time for me to stop offering my body to get them.

Sasuke became resentful with my new change. As if seeing me at a weak enough point to now attack me. He says hateful things to me whenever he is able… but,

I deserved it, so I let it go.

I had finally managed to land a job as a security guard at a nearby mall, so I can earn more money for my family.  I could now buy them better clothes and better food… Something was wrong however,  as Sasuke forced me to buy girl’s clothes in Mirai’s size, saying he'll show the bruises he'll give himself to the cops and have him and Mirai taken away if I don’t. 

Sasuke would have Mirai dress as a girl at home. Threatening me if I ever tried to stop it. I was at a complete loss at what to do…. I created this problem!  Was all I could think of as I cried. I hope this is just a phase... I hope we can get stronger together.

When Sasuke became eleven, he grew to an astounding height.  I still was larger by a good margin, but the growth spurt he had was still impressive. I unfortunately, had not tike.tombe amazed by this as he felt it was good enough time to pay me back. After yelling at me because dinner was hot…  He hit me.

I didn't know what to do. With everything I did to him over the years, how do I scold him now? So, I accepted the beatings as repentance.

After a year of increasing violence, the beatings seemed to not be enough anymore, and at age twelve, Sasuke had raped me. 

How was this child so strong to hold me down!?

It was as if his strength was fueled by rage! This became a daily thing that we would do now, and as disgusting as it sounds, I started to enjoy my punishment with my son. I even hoped maybe he could still love me even, if it's only like this.

However, that was not the case.

Sasuke developed the ability to produce semen later that year… and I thought I was pregnant.

I hoped he'd be finally happy, that he'd want this family to be happy, that something would click finally in him… I was wrong.

"If you have a girl, then I'll replace you with her, fucking old hag, and if its a boy I'll just replace Mirai."

Those words shook my whole world. Staying won't help him any and I’ll only lose my baby.  But, how can I be pregnant and take care of Mirai alone? Without an answer… That night… I ran away.

I left Mirai thinking Sasuke won't hurt him and I ran, ran away.

Since that day, I have sent money to the house, coming from my paychecks and I managed to get my own place with what I had left.

I was tired of men at this point in my life.

My son, his father, the drug dealers, all the men that took advantage of me. I wanted to become stronger. I needed to become stronger, I no longer wanted to be taken advantage of.

I worked out more often, but with a new goal. Strength training, endurance training, Krav maga, and jiu jitsu. I never wanted to be a victim again.

I wanted to see my sons again but something inside kept saying, I'm not strong enough, I'm not strong enough. 

I was only making excuses.

To make matters worse, the pregnancy came to be a false positive…

Apparently, with all the drugs I've done, my fertility rate dropped significantly. I now have an estimated 1/1000 chance to have a baby.

Just fitting for a horrible mother.

My depression hit an all time low. Everyday I just went through the motions.

Work, train, sleep.

Work, train, sleep.

Work, train, sleep.

I was a security guard at a mall for a few years. In our break room we had a few weights so we didn't over indulge on energy inducing snacks (like doughnuts), we kept it lean and I had impressive gains. With my experience and job performance, I was offered a new position from an outside employer. The benefits were slightly better but the pay was DOUBLE.  I signed up in a heartbeat. So, I began working at 

Medcore Mental Institute 

It’s rather tame from what I'm used to, but also much more strict. I work in the ALL FEMALE ward, and nothing outta place really happens here.

Getting paid for doing nothing.

Is what I initially thought, anyway. Over time, however, I realized how much we actually do by sticking to the rules and guidelines as we do it. 

Structure 

It’s the most necessary component in assessing, testing, and qualifying most mental health cases, and we had it in spades.

While working for two years, I was absolutely settled in my routine. 

Until a transferee came in.

Apparently it was a special case, a very special case.

Tomaki Himeno, 16 years old.  Charged with assault, use of lethal force, and well... the attempted murder charge was dropped apparently.

Why would it still be on her file if it was dropped?

The victim didn't press charges against Himeno, but from what a witness had said and what the police had seen, she was caught pretty much red-handed. She was gonna get 18 months of juvenile detention, however, her mental health deteriorated. Medically she's fine but... psychologically?

A danger to herself and others… thats why the attempted murder redacted was still listed.

So she's here for some psych treatment.  After three months, her guardians can sign her out as having time served, ...if she has good behavior.

Well, that was the paperwork. She's on her way via private transport so I have to greet her, check her in, and give a minor assessment. (I'm not a doctor, its only a standard physical.)

It took about 20 minutes after I arrived at the front of our facility, about 200 meters of road straight down led to a gate opening up for a vehicle to enter.

Driving up to me I direct it to the patient drop off area.

"I'll take it from here, boys." I said, so they didn't get out of the transport truck.

Opening the backdoor, I'm greeted by a mess of wild hair hanging over a pair of knees.

Looks like she's the only transfer today.

"Rise and shine, time to check in." I say, while knocking on the floor of the truck.

The girl’s figure slowly gets up, and walks to the end of the truck, staying hunched over until she hops down to the pavement and she looks up at me.

She’s TALL… She has to be at least 175cm… I'm 182cm myself after all.

Those were my first thoughts until I looked at her eyes.

*Doki*

Dark eyes, but as she looks up at me, the sun hits them revealing a dark bluish-purple. What seemed like messy hair falls to her chest like cascading water, her pale skin is on the verge of beauty and sickly. Her aligned jaw, pointed chin, and suckable lips all combine into a picture perfect ensemble.

She's currently wearing a light blue jumper from the detention hall because her original clothes were used as evidence.

"T-T-TOMAKI-SAN!" 

She stands at attention like I'm a drill instructor.

I said that way too loud! Damnit! I’m done with men, but I never thought of women as attractive. Well, attractive yes, but not sexually… wait, sexually? Am I already wanting to… With this little girl? Well, I was pregnant at a younger age… wait! Damnit brain, don't justify it!

*ahem*

"Tomaki-san, today is your first day here at MMI. I am Anderson Sachiko, I will be your guide."

"I am Tomaki Himeno, I will be in your care from today." She bowed.

Such manners, despite her incarceration!

I guide Tomaki-san into the facility and show her around. 

The recreation area held multiple circular tables for card games or group discussions. There is also an art area with canvases but you can only finger paint there for safety reasons. There are chess tables as well but supervision is needed to play.

The showers in the female ward are just 20 by 10 meter open white-tile areas with shower heads poking out of the wall every 1 ½ meters. No privacy, all bathing is done in groups.

The cafeteria consists of 4-seat circular tables scattered around an open room with a food-plate assembly line format.

Finally, her room, it’s a 3 meter by 3 meter cubicle with a bed along with a metal toilet and sink. There are no bars, only a plexi-glass wall and door as the only entrance and exit. The bed is a single in size mattress resting on a metal bed frame with metal barred head boards on both sides.

"This is where you’ll be staying. I'll give you a quick check up now.  Afterwards, please rest until it's time for dinner."

"Thank you." She bows then enters her room.

I follow after her with her new pair of clothing. I put my hypo-allergenic gloves on as she strips.

She stands there, naked as the day she was born. Veins in her feet stopping at her ankles, her calves have no fat or jiggle to them, as she moves her toes they flex. Her thighs are thick but semi bulky.

With how skinny she is she has no thigh gap.

Her pubic area is semi-defined, a small patch of hair rests above her pussy….

"Are you gonna touch it?" Tomaki-san asked.

"N-n-no!" She caught me staring at her pussy didn't she!? 

"Act-actually, I was taken aback from you taking off your bottoms. You were checked when leaving the detention center a-a-and i’m only cleared for quick physicals."

"I apologize for showing you something unsightly." She bows and begins to reach for her old clothes.

"N-n-n-no its not, it’s not unsightly, and you have new clothes anyway, let's just finish up with this." My eyes going from her face to abs, her hair is covering her tits, but her deeply lined 6-pack is on full display. 

Fuck me.

I quickly finish the exam, and leave her cell.

……..

……….

……………

Over the course of the next couple months, Himeno turned 17 and I began to question the reason that Tomaki-san was sent here. I had seen no signs of volatile behavior or self harm since she arrieved. 

Until one day...

The plexi-glass doors absorb a lot of sound from the patients, in case they begin screaming and that potentially starts riling up the other patients. 

Even with these precautions in place as I did my rounds, I could still hear a certain sound. I walked closer to investigate. I kept getting closer to it until the noise became a voice…. And the voice was saying:

"Haruto …...Haruto …...Haruto

 Haruto …..Haruto…… Haruto

...Haruto." 

Haruto?

My investigation eventually led me to Himeno's room. My face immediately flushed and I ducked to the stone wall in between Himeno's cell and that of another patient. I lurched forward and glanced back into the cell.

Himeno was completely topless facing my direction grinding on her metal headboard. She still had her pants on. It wasn't fully lights out time yet. Some hallways were still lit, so everything was visible to me.

"Ohhhh fuck~!" I thought while I bit my lip.

I stared as she grinded the metal bar. One arm holding the straddled bar, one hand on her ample breast, as she grinds the bar slowly and deeply her abdominal muscles flex with each motion, revealing a deep cut 6-pack. Her breathing is getting only more raspy as she continues to yell out that name.

Her arm exposing its muscles as she grinds forward and it relaxes as she pulls back. Her deep grinding motions captivated my eyes. My nipples hardened as I saw her abuse her c-size breasts. Her rhythmic motion had me hypnotized. I began to play with myself over my uniform.

Feeling myself getting too wet, I excused myself immediately. Rushing to my office, I locked my door.

Not noticing all the while that Himeno's gaze was cast exactly at my previous location.

……

………

…..

I avoided Himeno for a week after that incident. All I could think of was her working my face the way she worked that pole. I didn't need a conflict at work, but every time I turned around, it was as if she was looking at me.

I’m doing a round in the cafeteria, in the sea of patients in their orange jumpsuits. (jumpsuit colors are changed each season to reduce melancholy and monotony.)

Where I see Tomaki-san already putting her gaze upon me.

How does her glare make my knees so weak? Her eyes…

Why am I so drawn to them?

*CRACK!* I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard a loud sound.

"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP." A hoarse voice yells out.

In my vision, a big girl in an orange jumpsuit is swinging away at Himeno with a cafeteria chair! I radioed for backup immediately.

It’s Agitated Agatha… fucking hell!

Agitated Agatha is a big woman even if she’s only 160cm. The rotund woman is shaped like a standing rectangle with crazy eyes embedded into a monkey’s face covered with a mop of red hair.

50% fat, 50% muscle, 50% mentally unhinged, and 100% prone to violence.  That’s a 250% chance of anyone having a bad day when she’s around.

Now, Himeno had dodged the initial swing that came at her back but was hit in the chest with a back swing of the chair. Skidding on the ground, she finally stopped after sliding for a couple meters. Agatha moving her large body toward her in a stampeding fashion.

"ALL-NIGHT-LONG-ITS-HARUTO-HARUTO-HARUTO! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!"

Her face is as red as her hair!

Trying to diffuse the situation, I try to break through to the front of the crowd. 

*BRRRRRRR* *BRRRRR*

The small sea of people are responding as I push through, while blowing on my whistle.

I look into the center and see Himeno in……. dogeza?

"I will be quieter from now on, I apologize!" She yelled trying to speak over the crowd with her face down.

Agatha’s only response was to hit Himeno's back with the cafeteria chair (made of metal and plastic but still heavy enough to be wielded like a club.)

"NOTQUIETER! SHUT UUUUUUUUPPPP!" Agatha continues to swing.

I'm getting closer, soon this will be over.

"FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKHARUTO!" Agatha swung the chair again.

*CLANG*

The plastic seat portion of the chair snaps as it connects with the ground, Himeno’s body no longer there. Shards of plastic were scattered in the area instead. 

Himeno dodged forward toward Agatha into a squatting position directly beneath her lunging body. Himeno struck hard at the inside of Agatha’s right knee, before jumping upward into a palm strike at Agatha' chin.

Agatha stepped back… and immediately fell onto her back, dropping the chair in the process.

Huh?? How could one strike put Agatha down?

"No! NOOOOOOO! STOP!" I yelled as Himeno picked up the broken chain and began to wail on Agatha's ribs as she struggled to get up.

"FUCK...MY.. HARUTO?!" *CLANG* "FUCK MY PRINCE!?" *BOOM* "WHO the FUCK are YOU TO SPEAK HI….." *thud*

I make it into the center. I tackled Himeno as soon as I made contact, she made no movement against me. On my person I have 3 tranquilizers, so I stick her with one. She didn't fight me off, we have a protocol in place, and she knows it.

I go back to Agatha who is hunched over in a semi-fetal position holding her ribs with one hand, and the other reaching for her leg. In her leg is a 9-inch piece of plastic that broke off from the chair. Blood is pooling out from the wound near her knee.

How fast are Himeno's hands?! When did she grab that?! Any higher up on Agatha’s leg, and she would have hit an artery!

I tranquilize Agatha as well. Backup clears the room, and everyone goes back to their cells.

Agatha and Himeno were taken to the infirmary and separated. Kept far apart from each other and I oversaw them both. I watched as Himeno laid unconscious on the infirmary bed.

Beautiful and strong…. How can you be so….

My hand reached out to move the hair from her eyes.

*clap*

Her hand clenched mine as her eyes shot open. Her glare holds no emotions, yet I can't look away.

What can make this woman so strong? How the fuck is she awake?!

A thought crossed my head as she squeezed my hand.

Almost enough to hurt, but that's scary when you think she's just a teen and I've been training

"C-c-can you tell me…. About Haruto?" I asked but I really didn't want to know. The question itself pinched me in my chest.

At my question her eyes softened to the level a kitten. Maybe more like a cougar. Her grip softened and she nodded enthusiastically.

This was the fucking worst and also best decision I've ever made.

For the next 3 hours Himeno, for the first time ever, smiled. I'll never forget how I wanted that smile to be for me, but I realized as she spoke about Haruto, that won't be possible. Another thing that hit me hard, was her attentiveness to her brother.

From when he was just a newborn, she was basically proud of him for simply breathing, like his very air alone was special to her. She was always amazed at how small something could be, while she was literally only 15cm larger. How, when he started walking, he'd never give up until he got it... that's how we all fucking learned! If we stopped before then, there would be no working adults!

Yes, I was jealous over a fucking baby that she described with so much passion. As she spoke though, another pain swelled inside of me. After 3 hours we finally covered the first year of Haruto’s life.

Yeah the year of eat, shit, sleep!

It was irking to hear the story of her brother with so much love. But it was beautiful, too.

When have I ever had the chance to hear the person I might have feelings for, speak with so much passion? Does this happen to everyone? Listening to words that fill their hearts and light their soul aflame?

More realization hit.

My boys… If I was even a small percentage of attentive as Tomaki-san is? How would they have grown instead? How come I haven’t had them on my mind, like Tomaki-san has her brother on her’s right now?

My heart as a mother ached.  All I do is send them money, but are they even taking care of themselves? I'm a horrible person. As that thought crossed my mind, the talking girl in front of me kept talking. 

I can't stop working hard, this must be fate. Fate must've brought Tomaki-san to me. She could be what I need. She's strong and beautiful, surely she can help me become stronger, for my boys.

…….

………..

………

……..

I kept Himeno in solitary (so her yells weren't heard anymore). Surprisingly, talking to her for each of my shifts about Haruto (her full on blood brother 100% confirmed) has lessened her nightly issues. Not by frequency, but duration.

Somedays, I avoided talking to Himeno about Haruto hoping she'd get pent up. Oh, She did… and then so did I.

My office needs incense.

Throughout the day I watch as Himeno does the same things over and over.

First, she'll tilt her bed long ways up against the wall. Take off her shirt and top, and use the metal headboards to do pull-ups. She pinches each nipples til her small tips are hard, jumps up to grab the bar and does different grips. Wide, short, and reverse…. 

Her abs are tight during every pull up, exposing her deeply defined abs(now a 7-pack). Every pull-up exposed her ripped back muscles, a single vein in each hardened bicep, the expansion of her teres minor and major(her wings), strings of muscles in her deltoid, hhaaaaahnnn. She does 200 a day.

Currently, I'm outside her cell playing with myself, as she does each exercise exposing herself for me. I've never asked for it, but when I did finally ask her about it, her words were:

"I wanted to talk to someone about my brother and you gave that to me, I wanted to give you something I thought you'd want."

She offered to stop if it bothered me but I declined. She allows me to play with myself when she works out.

I really meant ALLOWS ME. 

She had told me to ask permission each time before I started or she would keep her top on. Her reasoning for it was:

"Expecting something from someone is demanding and one-sided. Always asking means you respect my decisions, and that's the relationship I want with people I consider friends. If we were lovers, it would be different."

I'm blown away by the thought process of this teen and I was also happy she considered us friends. 

If I thought the way she did all that time ago…. Would my life be this way?

…..

………

………….

I snuck in time with Himeno for us to do some sparring. Besides the Agatha incident, which wasn't deemed her fault, she's been a model patient. 

I knew her movements were amazing but they were also a little rough. Whoever taught her to fight really was single minded, seek and destroy. That's not a bad thing, but it doesn't prepare you for the unexpected.

Also this gave me the chance to touch her body~

………

………….

………..

……………

She’s out of her fucking mind!

It’s been a year since she's been here. There has been no responsive letters from her brother, and all her calls are blocked.  She began talking to herself more often. She's become very strong since coming here and her mental state has made sparring impossible.

So this was the 'danger to self and others'

Himeno is NOT blinking and all she is doing is punching the wall of her cell in the same spot, her knuckles bleeding, and skin broken.

I’m afraid I'll see bone protruding out of her hands soon.

"DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME!?!?!?!" 

Are the only words she's speaking. I don't know what I can do, so for now I can only be there for her. With my tranquilizers.

……..

…………

……..

SHE IS REALLY FUCKING CRAZY!

It's been a few days and I have finally found out how to calm her down.

Her rampaging has gotten to the point that I had to hide her from the eyes of other guards or orderlies. During a rampage she vented out what she did to be arrested.

The victim refused to press charges, so no one knows the extent of what she's done! Fuck, do I know how to pick them… But also, I found it making her more attractive.

In said rant, I learned how to control her.

"DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME" The voice carries on again.

This time, she's headbutting a wall. So I used my new found cheat code.

*Ahem*

"Haruto will be sad if you hurt yourself~" I sang.

"DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU-ABANDON-ME-DID-YOU…….H..a..ruto? No no! NO! I'm sorry! I'm fine I'm fine!" She’s all smiles now, darting her eyes around her cell looking for Haruto. 

"Are you gonna be good?" I ask her.

"Yes!" She’s still looking around.

"Ok."

Like that, I got her to calm down very easily. Until it didn't.

Two months later, she's having a meeting with the board to determine her release, but with the way she's acting she might ruin it. She's sitting on the ground in her cell fully deflated. I'm standing by her food tray deposit so we can talk if she wants.

I want to be there for her so badly, but no matter how much I try to get close, there's only one person on her mind.

"....o...n..e.thi..ng.."

"What was that?" I asked her

"What’s the one thing… I can give you so you could get a letter to my brother?"

*DOKI* *DOKI*

"You want to trade yourself…. Just for a letter?" I'm upset at her suggestion, but I'm more upset at myself for how much I want it. "Does he really mean that much…..more to you." I clench my fist in frustration.

"Yes." Not a single hesitation.

"Fine….. don't regret this."

She had sent letters already and had memorized most of their contents. So she re-wrote the last two letters she sent him from memory, and wrote a new one. 

I tried convincing her that after all this time he's choosing not to respond, she should just forget about him.

"Sachiko-san, don't say anything else unnecessary or I’ll distance myself from you."

She didn't threaten me, but I still felt something like a killing intent.

I back-stepped into the conversation again.

"If it's not his fault, do you think there's a conspiracy or someone getting in the way!?"

I suggested something ridiculous, but Himeno's eyes widened. Her rage fills her cell. She takes another piece of paper and writes an extra note.

She knew what our agreement was when she wrote the letter, she said she had to "come clean" to Haruto before we do it.

She said she had to let him know she'll become sullied. I swear I didn't ask for much!

 When she was done we rolled the papers up and hid them in a small cigar cylinder. Now my part of the deal is like this

1. I get letters outside without being caught.

2. I use a personal service courier.

3. Detail that the letter ONLY can be received from Haruto.

What I got in return was.

1. Me and Himeno use first names.

2. She lets me kiss her.

3. She sticks the cigar cylinder in me during the kiss.

And so the plan went off without a hitch. We kissed… 

More like I kissed her, and she opened her mouth a little.

But as soon as she reached in my pants

I didn't want to make it too easy for her so it would last longer,

I came. I felt her fingers for a second and I came again.

Over a year and I got only this far.

Still more worth it than with a man.

The plan hit one more hiccup... I used the container of the letters for a couple days so I could use it to… um…… USE IT DAMNIT! 

……….

………….

When I finally sent it two days later Himeno was paranoid again. She knows about her release date and wanted to tell her brother. I felt at fault here so I offered a new solution.

I get a prepaid phone for her, and let her call me on my cell phone at her brother's home.

She instantly agreed. 

I requested this time for a naked hug, she refused… Getting desperate because I don't know how long I'll have her away from her brother… I suggested something ridiculous.

She agreed to it.

I take her brother cum on my body, and it's as if it's with this much participation then anything is fine. 

I'll get a little extra from him and hopefully I can barter with it.

……..

…….    

…………

Now I'm at home. Smelling like cum as I’m dressing up for work. Remembering how the semi-reunion of the siblings went… whether it’s wrong or not… that was love in a very pure and twisted form. But not twisted from pain, just from too much. It reminded me of my reunion as well…

Before I head out I take out my phone.

I sent a message.

Matriarchy --  Mirai, can we have tea sometime?

TRAPped --  I would love that, can you meet me at school tomorrow? I have friends I want you to meet.