I'm just a teddy bear, right? It's a teddy bear's job, nay, I say its divine duty to be squashed onto a little girl's silky soft chest.
 
There's nothing wrong with me enjoying my new calling.
 
...Right?
 
Anyway, on to the main show.
 
My little girl is hastily brushing her teeth.
It looks like she's in quite a hurry, but I'm not entirely sure why.
 
She did say something about an owner getting mad before.
 
Judging by the amount of brushes, this seems like a boarding school or perhaps an orphanage.  
Of course, such institutions could technically have an owner, but wouldn't they rather be called something like principal or director?
 
I'm beginning to have a bad feeling about this.
 
Could it be that....
 
Hold that thought.
 
 
Right now my owner is apparently facing a terrible dilemma.
 
She's shifting from one leg to the other and holding her free hand over her lower stomach while looking between the door and the toilet.
 
Seems like she has to go, but might run late if she does.
It truly is a question for the ages, one that I've been faced with many times over the years of my life.
 
Well, by now I don't think there will be any debates as to which option I'd prefer her to take.
 
And sure enough, after a few awkward moments she steps up to the toilet and makes a bowing gesture, pulling down her pants before sitting down on the bench that serves as a seat.  
 
I try to look down to get a glimpse of the promised land, but of course my head can't move and my field of vision is blocked by my big plushy snout.  
 
Oh, come on. My eyes are clearly just glass pearls, there's no way they serve any actual optical functions. I might as well just get 360° vision, right?
 
...
 
No?
 
I guess not.
 
 
Water is running constantly through a channel below the seats, making a sound like a small creek.
This place doesn't know about water conservation, huh?
 
 
And then... *pshhhh*
"Nh-"
 
I can hear the splashing of holy water.
And a cute voice coming from my owner as she continues to push me into her chest with one arm.

Aahhh this really is heaven after all.

...
 
While I'm absorbed in enjoyment of my owner's embrace, a tingling starts spreading through my chest.

Then abruptly...
-DONG-
I'm startled by a loud, low bell sound right next to my ears.
Ouch! Can we maybe turn it down a bit?
 
Suddenly words are forming in my mind. It's not like I'm actually hearing them... but I'm also not not-hearing them.

No, I don't expect that to make sense.
 
"New Trait Aquired: [Pervert]"
 
"Experience Threshold reached."
"Bear has reached Level 2."
"Gained one Skill Point."
"Do you want to select a new skill? Y/N"
 
Uh... what? Wait, pervert? More importantly...skill? Like in those shows where the protagonist is reborn into another world as a handsome hero?
 
"Do you want to select a new skill? Y/N"
 
Uhhm yes?
 
"Select Skill to aquire."
 
...
 
 
Do I... not get a list?
 
"Select Skill to aquire."
 
Alright, I get it.
 
I recall watching a show recently where somebody was faced with a similar problem.
And if I remember correctly, the answer was: 'Always pick Appraisal first.'  
 
And so I will.
 
"Skill gained: [Appraisal LV1]."
 
 
Alright, are we done here? Now let me get back to-
 
Too late.
 
Without me noticing, the girl had already finished washing her hands in the fountain and was running through the hallway towards the exit of the building.
 
 
Curses!
This skill better be damn useful.
 
I guess I'll try it out on myself.
 
Uh... Appraisal!

...
 
My mind goes blank before I see letters forming out of the white nothingness.
 
-Status-
------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Bear
Title: -  
Class: -
Gender: -
Race: Plush Toy
--------------------
Level: 2
Health: 5/5
Stamina: 0/0
Experience: 13/100
Focus: 10/10
Skill Points: 1
--------------------
-Effects-
None
--------------------
-Attributes-
Strength:     0

Dexterity:     0

Endurance:     0

Sorcery:     0

Charisma:     3

Faith:         -

--------------------
-Traits-
[Inanimate Object] Cannot move.
[Pervert] Gains experience through unconventional means.
--------------------
-Skills-
[Appraisal LV1]
------------------------------------------------------------  

 
That... doesn't look terribly good... does it?