Day after day after day. And yet not a single minute of reprieve had been granted to me. 

Trapped in my own mind by an evil god, Aentaerope, I’ve been repeatedly forced to relieve that one fateful day in Beroea. 

“How long has it been?” I wondered. “I’ve lost count at this point, but we must have passed the one hundred mark a while back.”

But what scared me wasn’t the mental fatigue, it was how desensitized I’ve become. The first twenty or so experiences had shook me to the core. Yet now, I feel like the slaughter inflicted by me was little more than an everyday sight. Well, it was essentially an everyday sight at this point. 

“Hey, do you get hungry, sleepy, or anything like that?” I asked Aentaeropein a bored tone. 

“No, not at all,” the being replied casually. “Though I’d like to experience that, so hand over your body.”

“Subtle as ever,” I sneered. “Maybe this is the reason why you don’t get to visit the mortal plane much.”

“Well I’m also not the most popular patron,” it answered with surprising honesty. “Most mortals tend not to find a chaos deity to be very helpful. While others can promise immortality or domination over others, I can only really provide destruction.”

“You need to sell yourself better then,” I laughed. “Calling it destruction is too blunt. Perhaps the ability to reshape the world?”

While it would seem that I’m getting a bit too cozy with this entity, I have my own reason. This casual atmosphere in my head is one of the few things keeping me sane at this point. And it also helps distract me from the real world. 

A few days back, or at least days measured in reliving my past, I had ended up thinking about Sekh and Minerva. And I miss them, I really do miss them. If anything, I just want to be able to come back and see them again. But thinking about them only made me more likely to give in to Aentaerope. 

It seems fate truly has a sense of humor. Forcing me to relive the horror that I caused. All the while being unable to enjoy the new life I made for myself. 

“Say Aentaerope, do you believe in fate?”

“No. I don’t have any siblings who’s in charge of such a thing. So it shouldn’t be real. If things seem like they are the product of fate, it’s due to the careful planning of someone, a coincidence, or a combination of both.”

“Right, you’re a god of chaos. Clearly you have a bias against things preceding in an orderly fashion.”

“And you’re a mortal.”

“That’s your whole argument?”

“It works doesn’t it? Because can you honestly claim that you understand matters of the divine and the greater workings of the world?”

“I can’t. But you’re not really the most reliable god on such things either. You did say that you spend most of your time trying to cause chaos while waiting for a mortal vessel. I’m honestly surprised the other gods didn’t rein you in more.”

“They tried. I’m just good at slipping through their grasp.”

Oddly, I was now the one taking initiative to start conversations. Guess I’ll mentally mark that down as another achievement. 

Despite our seemingly friendly disposition towards one another, we were still in a war of sorts. Neither of us had spoken about it, but it was clear that we both knew. In the background, there was something of a tugging feeling, the location of which I couldn’t pin down. And based on what I’ve read, this must be my soul trying to push out Aentaerope. 

However, I have the feeling that Aentaerope’s nagging isn’t just for naught. Perhaps there’s power in me giving up verbally. And while I can’t say for certain, I have no intentions of taking risks. So for now, I just wait until my soul expels Aentaerope or my body gives out.

Still, the fact that my consciousness is persisting means that my body must still be in a stable state. And although time supposedly goes by differently in your own consciousness, this indicates that the people outside still have hope. As for where and how my body is being kept, I think they’re treating me well. 

Like the many days before, I continued to be trapped within the unending loop of my experience in Beroea. But the most notable thing was the increasingly strong feedback from my soul. When I first got trapped, it could barely be felt. But now it had risen to the point that it was almost a choking feeling. 

Clearly Aentaerope had noticed as well because he had become increasingly persistent with his nagging. Despite this, he was still friendly as ever, or as friendly as someone trying to seize control of my body could be. 

“Hey hero, are you holding up well?” it suddenly asked while I was just restarting the scene in Beroea. 

“I’d be doing better if you didn’t put me through this,” I groaned. “Can’t you let me watch some different memories?”

“Well that’s good to hear,” the being chuckled almost forebodingly. 

For a couple more rewinds, I didn’t quite understand what it meant. 

But then I felt it. A pressure that threatened to tear my soul apart. I was not the only one to suffer from however. While I could feel my very essence being ripping, the world around me began to distort. 

Suddenly, I was jerked from my view of Beroea and thrown back into the void. There, I realized that Aentaerope was no longer visible. 

“S-so you’re...not even able t-to maintain your powers?” I forced out through the agony I was enduring. 

“Y-yeah, something...like that,” a voice resounded in my head. “Well...I’ll have your...body soon e-enough.”

So this is what they meant by conflict of souls. Just a contest of willpower to see who can last longer as their souls rip each other apart. 

It felt like an eternity. What must have only been a few hours was solely pain. Only the agony of my soul clashing with Aentaerope’s existence kept me company. 

I want to give up. I want to die. I just want the pain to stop. But this was my chance to finally win. Just a little longer and I could escape. Just a little longer and I could see everyone again. 

That’s what I kept thinking. Just a little more, just a little more. 

Perhaps it wouldn’t stop and my body would just give out from this. Still, I would have my respite either way, whether it was in life or death. I just had to win against this bastard. 

“L-looks like...I’m the victor,” the voice in my head suddenly laughed. 

No, this must be a ploy to discourage me. I’m still here feeling the pain of our souls clashing, so I can’t have lost. Not yet. 

“Bold words from someone about to lose,” I sneered at the invisible entity. “Well, cope as hard as you’d like. It’s not going to change anything at this rate.”

Minutes passed. Then maybe half an hour. Suffice to say, neither Aentaerope nor I had a good grasp of our battle.

Then without warning, the void around me collapsed. 

Instead of finding myself back in Beroea, I was now in a cell that I’ve never seen before.

It was a moderately sized stone prison cell with metal bars, though the room was well kept and the bed was of the highest quality. The clothing I wore was also different from my memories, a comfortable set of cotton clothes instead of armor. 

In order to see my surroundings, I tried to pull my body off from the bed. What I didn’t expect was to fall face first onto the stone floor due to weakness of my body. 

“Fuck, that hurt,” I groaned after barely avoiding crushing my nose. 

Suddenly, two heavily armed guardsmen stormed into the room, their eyes wide with shock. 

“Quick, tell the commander that he’s woken up. And bring a priest so we can check on his condition.”

Since their faces were covered by a veil of chainmail, I couldn’t tell if these were men that I know. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how long has it been since the battle at the Mizrael estates?” I asked while pulling myself back onto the bed. 

“Two weeks sir,” the soldier who stayed answered. 

Hearing this, I breathed a sigh of relief. Since the flow of time is different in the place I was trapped in, there was the possibility that I could wake up years later. And I didn’t want to think about how things might change during that time. 

Shortly after, Gallus and Gregorius entered the room with an entourage of troops and a priestess of Sol. 

Unsurprisingly, Gregorius and the troops approached me with their weapons ready as the priestess began to set up her equipment. Of course their wariness was justified, since I could very well have been supplanted by a malevolent deity that was now using my memory to deceive others. 

“So can you tell me what happened while I was out?” I asked no one in particular. 

Naturally Gallus was the one to speak up. 

“We managed to suppress the rebels with little difficulty even after you were taken out. After that we took you back to Damask and put you in this cell to wait out the possession process. Apart from that, things are holding up quite well in the city, especially thanks to your Bureau manager.”

“That’s great,” I remarked. “Well I assume that you’ll be following a certain procedure to ascertain that I’m not under the control of a malign deity.”

Smiling apologetically, Gallus nodded. 

“We’ll still have to keep you in this cell for a few days just to make sure. And after that, you’ll be under heightened surveillance for a time.”

“Fine by me,” I replied cheerfully. “I-I’m just glad to be back.”

“As are we,” Gregorius remarked, though his spear seemed to hold a different opinion. 

Once the priestess was done, she motioned for me to come over and sit down next to her. Despite the ring of soldiers around me, I calmly plopped down on the chair and waited for the priestess to conduct her magic. 

“He’s clear,” the priestess announced after twenty or thirty minutes of checking. 

Clearly everyone was relieved because the tension dissipated a bit. Nonetheless, Gregorius motioned for them to stay on guard since the magical check had been proven to not be completely accurate. 

After some waiting, Zeph, Minerva, and Sekh arrived. When they entered the room, all of them were looking at me as though a miracle had happened. Well, a miracle really did happen. 

Without warning, Sekh pounced on me, rubbing her face against my chest. Minerva followed right after and I found myself squeezed between the two of them, both of them sobbing quietly. 

In response I began to pat both of them on the head, a tired smile now on my face. 

“Hey, you two are real, right?”

Sekh’s face rose from my chest, her eyes all watery and snot running out of her nose. 

“Of course we’re real. Azel...is something wrong? You’re back right? Right?”

To my side, Minerva looked at me with a hopeful gaze as well. 

“Yeah, it really is me,” I answered. “Sorry, after being stuck in my own mind for so long, coming back to reality is still a bit jarring for me. Honestly, it feels like a dream.”

“It’s not,” Minerva assured me, her voice choking from emotion. “It’s not a dream, even if it seems like it is.”

For a while, the three of us silently embraced one another, just reveling in the presence of one another.

When I looked up, I saw Zeph and the other people in the room just waiting patiently, though the soldiers and priestess had left. 

“Don’t worry about us,” Zeph told me warmly. “Just enjoy your reunion with those two now. We can wait.”

Taking her advice, I returned to hugging Sekh and Minerva until they were fully satisfied. 

After returning to my seat in the cell, I motioned for everyone else to find somewhere to sit or stand. From there, I began to recall my account of what happened after I passed out. 

When I got to telling them about reliving my forgotten memories in Beroea, a deathly silence covered the room. Even after I finished my story, everyone just sat there with pained expressions. 

“Azel, I-I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you,” Sekh suddenly sobbed before rushing over to hug me again. “If-if I was better, you wouldn’t have to go through all of this.”

“It’s really not your fault,” I assured her. “There was absolutely nothing you could do there. And...maybe it was for the best that I got to see what happened in Beroea.”

A long silence ensued after I spoke, everyone giving me worried looks, which I tried to brush off with a light smile.

“Uh, I know this is a bit off topic, but have you developed any magical ability?” Zeph asked me after some more time. 

Right, that’s the main benefit from surviving a possession: the chance to develop abnormal magical abilities. Well, I was a bit too concerned with actually leaving in one piece so it hadn’t really crossed my mind. 

“Don’t know,” I replied with an easy grin. “We’ll find out later.”

As I spoke, Sekh nuzzled against me, possibly to make sure that I didn’t disappear again. 

“What matters is that you’re back.”

Everyone else seemed to hold a similar sentiment. In fact, I saw Justin, Irene, and Gaius peek their heads out from behind the door. Most likely they had held back to not damage the atmosphere in the room. 

“I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but you’ll have to stay in that cell for a few days while we monitor you,” Gallus brought up. “Of course we’ll allow visitors but we’d like to keep you here since it’s safer than the Bureau.”

Grinning slightly, I sighed. 

“Yeah, I understand the procedure. Just make sure to bring me some food soon. Well, I’ll have to start slow by drinking water first, but I’d like my meal eventually.”

After Gaius nodded in confirmation, Minerva went back over to me and we returned to the three way hug. 

“Azel, you’re also prohibited from working while you recover. Anyone that lets him do otherwise will have to deal with me.”

While I am happy that Sekh and Minerva are being really intimate with me, I’d prefer that my soul wasn’t almost ripped from my body in the process. 

“So is it possible for me to train while I’m being monitored?” I asked.

“You’re not allowed near weapons for safety purposes,” Gaius told me. “But we can allow you to exercise during that time.”

“Good enough,” I remarked. “I don’t think anything has atrophied yet, but I do feel like shit.”

A short while later, I asked for everyone to leave except for Sekh and Minerva so I could have a heart to heart with them.

By now, Sekh had wiped her face clean and was now gently patting my back. 

“Azel, you can let it out now.”

While Minerva didn’t quite understand, Sekh knew why I had asked everyone to leave. 

“Let me borrow your shoulder,” I requested Sekh. “Just for a bit.”

Smiling warmly, Sekh laid my face onto her shoulder and began to stroke the top of my head. With my face on Sekh’s shoulder, a gentle trickle of tears began to stream down my face. 

“I felt like I was going to die alone in my mind. But now...now I’m back.”

Squeezing me tighter, Sekh planted a light kiss on my cheek. 

“Thanks for not giving up, no matter how hard it was.”

As I was busy burying my face into Sekh, I felt a rather luscious sensation press itself on my back. 

“Azel, if you need anything, I’m always here for you.”

“Th-thanks,” I replied, my voice muffled by Sekh’s shoulder. 

For a while longer, I let my tears flow out while sinking into their embrace. Though after recovering, I smiled at them like nothing had happened. 

“Ah, I feel better now. Thanks you two.”

Pouting slightly, Sekh poked me on my cheek. 

“You know you don’t have to hold it in so much.”

“Yeah, sorry Sekh,” I said with an easy grin. “I’ll rely more on you from now on.”

The next three days, I spent my time relaxing in my very comfortable cell as required by procedure. During that time, the priestess would regularly do checks on me to determine if there was any change regarding my soul.

It’s also interesting to note that the ritual she conducted isn’t really considered magic. It would be much closer to sending a message to the gods and asking them to help, which most rituals are. Though the pathway from our plane to the heavenly plane makes the ritual not particularly reliable. And the gods only help when one of their own had caused problems on our plane. In the case that we asked them for assistance with one of our own problems, we would receive absolutely no help. 

During the time in my cell, I mostly focused on exercising as well as testing the possibility that I developed magic. While I was well on my way to making a physical recovery, I have no clue whether I can use magic or not. As of now, I’m leaning towards the latter. 

The person that visited me the most was Sekh, who came to bring food and keep me company. Apart from her, Minerva always came to eat dinner with me and we would talk until it was time to sleep. The other people I know also came, though nowhere near as much as my two lovers, probably because they didn’t want to interfere with the atmosphere. 

Once the three days were over, I was allowed to go back to the Bureau, though I still had to get checked by the priestess. But at the very least, I got to return to the comforts of my home. Well, things actually started to become too comfortable. 

The very first night that I got back to the Bureau, I went to bed with Sekh like usual. And deviating from the norm, I saw Minerva just stroll into our bedroom with her nightgown on. 

“Oh I forgot to tell you that she’s sleeping with us tonight,” Sekh said casually before yanking me down onto the bed. 

“Is there even enough room for the three of us?” I asked. 

“If there’s not enough space then I’ll just sleep on top of you,” Sekh told me with a cheerful grin. 

“Quick, Minerva, take up as much space as you can,” I told the newcomer in our bedroom. 

“I-I just wanted some time with you,” Minerva said while blushing slightly. “Besides, we’ve done this before. A few times.”

“A few times is far too little, don’t you think?” I teased Minerva, causing her to look away shyly. “So let’s change that, one night at a time.”

Without waiting for her response, I grabbed Minerva’s hand and pulled her into my embrace, Minerva squirming all the while. 

So for the first time, at least to my knowledge, the three of us were sleeping in the same bed with each other. And compared to the last three person bed incident, Minerva was far more onboard with this than Zeph. Though the reason was rather obvious. 

But despite having my two beloved people sleeping beside me, I had the worst nightmare possible.

Once again, I was pulled back to that day in Beroea. And although I had lived it plenty of times before, this time felt fresh for some reason. 

Even though it was nowhere near as realistic as the illusion created by Aentaerope, I woke up breathing rapidly and covered in sweat. 

Looking around under the faint moonlight, I saw that both Sekh and Minerva were sound asleep. Taking advantage of this, I slipped through their grasp to go out for some fresh air. 

Yet when I came back to the first floor from my walk, I found Minerva waiting for me with a concerned look on her face.

“Azel...is something wrong?”

Rubbing the back of my head, I smiled apologetically. 

“Sorry, I had a nightmare so I went for a short walk.”

“Nightmare?” Minerva asked worriedly. “Was it that?” 

“Yeah,” I answered. “It’s really annoying how it’s embedded in my mind now.”

Walking over to me, Minerva clasped one arm around my shoulder while brushing my cheek with the other. 

“I actually decided to look into the incident just recently. And after what I learned, there’s no way that I can believe that you’re at fault. More importantly, I promise I’ll stand by your side no matter what."

Smiling wryly, I cupped Minerva’s cheeks and pulled her into a deep kiss. 

“Since when did you become so good with words?” I teased her, causing her to redden. “You know, if you say something like that you’ll have to take responsibility.”

“R-responsibility?” she stammered awkwardly. 

“Yup,” I replied energetically before taking her hand and leading her towards the stairs. 

When we were on the third floor, I pulled Minerva aside into one of the Bureau’s meeting rooms. 

Looking around nervously, Minerva tried to determine why I had changed our course of direction. 

Instead of replying, I continued to lead her until I found a nice room with a beautiful moonlit view. There, I turned around with my back to the window and flashed a bright smile at Minerva. 

“I love you. I absolutely love you.”