I was falling... All the way down from the 15th story. As I was falling it felt like time slowed down...

Everything felt so... calm. I couldn't hear anything, my hearing was muffled. I could see my own reflection in the windows as I was falling and I could see Kiyomi in her angel form looking down towards me. She was smiling, like she was making fun of me, unmoving... 

Just before I got to the 3rd story time resumed normally and I died...?

As soon as I died I found myself in a strange place. It was pure black all around me, seemingly endless. I was naked but I didn't feel anything. The ground below me was pure black so I reached down and my hand went through the place I was standing. Strange, how am I standing? I looked around and I saw a small white orb, slowly floating towards me. When I touched it, the darkness warped around me. It was showing me a memory, a memory of my family. My last memory with my 'family'. It was me, a 11 year old child, in the kitchen. 

"SHE'S NOT HUMAN! SHE'S A DEVIL! SHE'S THE ONE WHO KILLED HER! YOUR MOTHER MASA! SHE KILLED HER!" Yelled my father. He was telling me Kana killed our mother. I thought he had gone crazy.

Kana walked slowly into the kitchen, tears streaming down her face. 

I was scared and confused. I never heard my dad yell so loud, not even when my mother died in front of us in a mass shooting. Why was Kana crying? I had so many questions. As soon as dad saw Kana he started shaking, either in anger or fear. He dashed towards Kana. His big hands about to reach Kana. She screeched. "ONII-CHAN! HEWP" Choking on her own tears, she tried to run away from his big hands. He grabbed her and started choking her. I tried hitting my dad, begging him to stop. "DAD! DAD! PLEASE! PLEASE STOP!" But he simply shoved me out of the way, hitting me onto the pantry. His looked like a madman. At that point, I wasn't thinking straight.

It all happened so suddenly. One day we were a happy, mostly normal family and in the next moment it was chaos. Scared after seeing his eyes, I grabbed the closest thing to me. It was a kitchen knife. 

I had to do this, I told myself. It had to be done, dad was going to kill my sister. I had no other choice. As all these thoughts went through my head, with both hands on the handle I thrust the blade towards him. The knife going straight through the back of his head, instantly killing him. However, I didn't stop. I don't know what had happened to me, I was so scared, so confused, I felt disconnected. I thrusted the knife into him. Again and again and again. I wasn't even thinking, everything felt like it was separated from me. It felt like I was alone, slowly drifting away where everyone would forget me. My body started to feel numb.

I wanted to feel. Feel something, anything! So I kept on thrusting the knife into him, bloodying myself more and more with each stab. His head was fully exposed, bits of brain and muscle on the ground. Blood piling up in a pool below his lifeless body. I swallowed my own tears and dad's blood by accident, the metallic and a salty taste mixing in my mouth. Eventually I missed the lifeless body with my teary eyes mixed with blood and stabbed myself then fell on top of my fathers body. I was breathless, using all my stamina needlessly stabbing him. I didn't know what to do. I felt as if I was going to disappear. My consciousness, slowly drifting away.

I realized, this was when she had me in her grasp. Kana wanted me to kill him, to feel broken. To feel like I was the one who did something wrong.

But... why me? Why me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? 

As I was going crazy, the memory faded into small light particles, melting into the darkness. "Is this hell?" I questioned. Does the devil just want me to see how much I've done wrong, how stupid I really was. To laugh at me? My father was right, Kana was a devil. She ruined my life. She killed my mother and made me kill my father. No... Am I just blaming someone else for my actions? No... It was her fault... Right?

I don't know anymore. I just wanted to lose consciousness and never wake up again. But as if the world was making fun of me, the endless, black abyss of nothing started to crack. A golden, white light taking over and quickly expanding to engulf the darkness. There, Kiyomi appeared. Fully naked in her angel form, showing me her perfect body. With that same smile on her face.

"Come, let's go back." She said as she held out her hand.

"Where?"

"Back to earth of course, we wouldn't want you to stay in here forever would we?"

"No... Leave me alone, let me die. I JUST WANT TO DIE YOU BITCH!"

"My my, hasn't our little Masa grown, talking back and yelling like that... You know you can't escape from me even if you die right? I'll be waiting in heaven for you anyways, Ma. Sa. Kun~"

"NO, LET ME DIE, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

" I have a duty to make sure every human lives a fulfilling life and doesn't end up here forever. Oh, and it doesn't matter if you die again. You'll end up here again anyways and I'll just revive you again, and again, and again! It isn't until you truly live out your entire life will you go to heaven and live with me, forever~! So let's go now! Or I'll use force, but we don't want that now do we Masa-kun?"

I... I had no escape, there was no way for me to die peacefully. I give up I thought to myself as my body went limp. Falling into Kiyomi's arms.

"Now, now. That's a good boy. I'll make sure you live your life to the fullest so we can be together, forever! Ouu~ it makes me so happy just thinking about it!" 

But... Why me? What's the reason they want me? I don't care. No, I do care. But I don't know... It's not like it matters. I won't be able to rest even if I die... My consciousness fading away in her soft embrace...

Heya, the people working on my lawn cut one of the wires so we had to wait to get that fixed so I couldn't write or anything. but now I'm back and still very tired! Fun...

Anyways next chapter is probably gonna have NSFW material so skip it if you want to. Thanks for reading and give my novel a rating so I know how it is in your eyes. For me right now it's a 3 out of 5 I guess... Feedback is appreciated, cya.

The man with no plan,

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