Aperio looked at the pastry Maria had pointed out. The small, golden squares looked fairly unassuming; just another treat. If she would have been her old self, she would have stuffed herself with the food present, everything in front of her a delicacy reserved for her former masters. Now, though, it was just a thing, neither her body nor her mind yearning for the food.
A touch of her magic brought two of the pastries to her hand, one of which she quickly passed to the girl in her arms. Maria happily took the pastry, immediately eating it. It felt cold in her hand, a quick glance at the plate through her aura confirming that a tiny bit of mana was coursing through it. Neat.
Aperio had to actively stop herself from frowning at the sounds she heard, the mortal body continuing to surprise her with the disgusting noises it could produce. "And what is this?"
"Berrelem!" the girl exclaimed, as if the name alone would answer everything.
"I am not familiar with a pastry of that name. Where is it from?"
Maria furrowed her brows as she tried to answer the question of her Goddess, a task that was seemingly not quite within her grasp. One of the servants noticed her predicament and, after hesitating for a moment, stepped closer to the Goddess and the girl.
"It hails from a city with the same name on Spicor, my Lady," the servant said, polity bowing even though Aperio had her back turned to him. "In essence it is a small cake filled with various fruits or berries. It is said that Elves find it particularly delightful due to the magical nature of most of its ingredients."
"Thank you," Aperio said as she turned around to face the servant. "But you do not have to bow before addressing me."
The man did not reply, instead moving away as fast as he could without appearing to be improper. I am not scary. The smile that still remained on her face after Maria's antics vanished with the thought, and as a result when the servant looked back and saw that the Goddess was no longer as happy as before, he hastened his departure. They are just scaring themselves at this point.
Aperio had done nothing but turn around and face him, all while holding Maria in one arm and having a small pastry in her other. Flee from the dessert demon!
The All-Mother chuckled at the thought, humour probably her best choice to deal with the issue. After a slight shake of her head, the small pastry vanished into her mouth.
There was no explosion of taste or even a note of happiness as she ate the piece of food. Aperio could pick out the flavours and texture of the berrelem, but there was simply no joy in consuming it. Is there even a food I will enjoy?
Perhaps not needing to eat also took away the pleasure she usually felt at having a meal. Or I was only happy for food because it was the first meal in days…
Aperio let out another sigh as she turned back to face the table. "I think I have had enough."
"But you only had one?" Maria asked, looking at her Goddess with lightly creased brows. "Did you not like it?"
"It tastes fine; I simply do not find much enjoyment in food anymore," the All-Mother replied, letting her eyes wander over the assorted foods. "I do not need to eat, either."
"What do you like?"
Aperio tilted her head ever-so-slightly at the question. "I enjoy being with my friends, using my magic. Exploring. Nothing truly extraordinary." Makes it even weirder that everyone is so scared…
The girl shifted a little in the arms of her Goddess, trying to get a better view of her. Maria's eyes wandered over Aperio's face, seemingly trying to find something off. "Do you like to create?"
"I do," Aperio replied, gesturing with her free hand to her dress. "I made most of this. Though, it is not quite done yet." Still feels inadequate. Maybe I really should add some armour?
"Is that why it's so soft?" Maria asked.
"Perhaps. It is weaved with thread made of my mana. I do not know how it would feel to a mortal." Something I should have probably thought about before.
Her mana was vastly different from that of mortals, and even other deities. Assuming that it would not do something to mortals was probably a foolish idea. Does that count for my feathers, too?
She had given Brenia one, a part of herself. Aperio had not given it much thought at the time, just a simple gesture that might make a child happy. Now though, the All-Mother had some second thoughts. If something made from her mana might already hold special properties, what would a piece of herself do?
"Can you make me one too?" Maria asked, taking the winged Goddess from her thoughts.
"Once you are a bit older, perhaps," Aperio replied, very gently ruffling the girl's hair again. "I also have quite a lot to do right now. As soon as Laelia and your father are done, I will have to leave."
"I thought a Goddess can do what she wants," the girl pouted.
"There is nobody forcing me to do something if you mean that," Aperio said. "But there is also nobody else who could do it."
Maria leaned a little closer at the words, lowering her voice as she spoke. "Do you have to remove more Gods?"
"No," Aperio replied, her voice equally quiet. "I have to remember."
Laelia turned ever-so-slightly at her words — despite her voice being barely a whisper, her Scion had obviously heard what she had said. Aperio simply let out an almost silent sigh. For reasons not quite clear to her, she found it easier to tell Maria of her troubles than someone who might actually be able to help.
"Remember what?" Maria asked, quite eager to find out what the All-Mother might have forgotten.
"Quite a few things; none of which should be discussed openly." While she might be fine telling Maria of her rather rampant memory loss, the same was not true for everyone else in the room. Laelia was, of course, the exception. "I have been gone for a long while, after all."
"But, don't you know everything?"
Aperio stifled a laugh at the words of her youngest follower. The notion of someone truly knowing everything was quite silly to the All-Mother herself. Even the System that was omnipresent on Verenier — part of every living being — did not reach every world that existed. The only one that could, potentially, know everything likely was herself, but she had no desire to, nor did Aperio think it was entirely possible.
"Nobody knows everything, Maria," Aperio replied, very carefully poking the girl’s head. "Just like nobody is truly omnipotent. I cannot make a stone that is too heavy for me to lift, for example." Unless I don't count my magic as 'lifting'.
The girl frowned at her Goddess' reply but did not push further, likely knowing that Aperio would not be forthcoming with more information. Neither would she get a chance as Laelia and Geshton moved away from the map, causing Aperio to turn around and face them.
"You have finished?"
"Yes," Laelia replied. "Finding a route that satisfied Lord Terenyk's requirement for both secrecy and defensibility was harder than I thought."
"The Gods responsible might be gone," Geshton said, "but that doesn't mean the people who followed them will lay down their arms. I expect a war to come soon."
"A war for what?" Aperio asked.
"Revenge for the murder of their Gods, of course," Lord Terenyk replied. "I do not know how a divine feels about such things, but most mortals won't take it lying down.
"Some will be thankful, of course," he continued, folding the map and handing it to a waiting servant. "Vigil, Inanis, and Natio were all in favour of slavery—"
Further words were cut off by a surge of Aperio's aura. The pulse cracked the stone beneath her feet, and tiny arcs of mana danced across the feathers of her flared wings. "You are telling me that slavers will start a war to bring back the traitors? Enslave more?!"
Nobody responded to her question. A few of the servants had been knocked unconscious by the brief flare of Aperio's aura, their stronger colleagues already tending to them. The All-Mother paid them little mind as she narrowed her eyes at the Lord of the house, the confidence he had displayed just moments before melting away with each breath he took.
"Let them come — I will kill them all." Her last words were laced with far more of her power than usual, forcing Lord Terenyk to his knees and causing Laelia to take a slight step back.
A small hand on her cheek caused the arcs dancing across her wings to cease and Aperio to look down at the girl in her arms. Maria did not seem to be affected by either her voice or the flare of her aura, the girl's eyes darting from side to side as she tried to figure out what had upset her Goddess as much as it did.
"You hate them, don't you?" Laelia asked, her question attracting the gaze of her Goddess. "Vigil. Inanis. Everyone who enslaves. Why? Isn't everyone more bound to your will than you theirs?"
The All-Mother did not reply. Instead, Aperio closed her eyes and let a sliver of her Void flow around her, the soothing touch of the nothing doing more to calm her than a breath ever could. Being compared to slaving scum — even in passing — caused every fiber of her being to want to smite the heretic who had done so.
Despite her power, she had done her best to not force her will on mortals; even when she wanted to. She had taken every chance she could to remind everyone that they were free to go — to choose what they wanted to do.
Even the times she inadvertently influenced someone's life, Aperio had tried to right the wrong she had brought. That she blessed Maria and Caethya in the way she had still vexed her; would give her sleepless nights if her body still had need for them.
Aperio took a breath of the nothing flowing from her Void and opened her eyes, a small fraction of her mind making sure the emptiness steered clear of Maria.
"You cannot begin to understand how much I despise them. How much the mere idea that someone might support such a thing grates on my soul." If I even have one.
"Is this why you came back?" Maria asked, removing her hand from the Goddess' cheek.
"It is a consequence more so than the reason," Aperio replied, shifting her weight to the other leg as a small flex of her mental muscles repaired the floor she had broken and another, tiny, part of her mind checked up on every mortal in the room. "There is a lot you do not know."
Luckily, her outburst had not seriously harmed anyone present. The servants that had fallen to the ground only had slight bruises that the tiniest touch of her magic healed in a breath. That it had even happened was of course not good, her lack of control over her own emotions a flaw she would like to eradicate just as she had both Vigil and Inanis.
"No matter," Aperio continued, cutting any further questions short. "What we have come for is done and I have other things to take care of. Preparing for a war, apparently, if Lord Terenyk is correct."
With her words, a portal formed in front of the door that would usually lead into the hallway beyond. Very gently, Aperio set down her youngest follower, spreading her wings for balance as she lowered herself to meet Maria's eyes. "If you need my help, pray. If I do not reply, ask Caethya to ask for you, alright?"
Despite responding with a decisive nod, the worry in Maria's eyes never vanished. That the girl cared was nice, in a way, but also brought a sense of unease to Aperio's mind. She very much wanted that her friends cared, but neither did she want to be their cause of worry. A burden. It only lasted for a moment, however, as Aperio stood back up to her full height and Maria quickly made her way to her father.
Laelia said a few words to Lord Terenyk that Aperio did not understand, the language of the Humans still not something she had learned, before she stepped away to wait for her Goddess in front of the portal.
The All-Mother narrowed her eyes slightly as she shifted her gaze between the two Humans, not quite sure if she should start worrying about the loyalty of her Scion or not. Despite knowing that it was unlikely, the tiny voice in the back of her head would not be quiet, constantly reminding her that Laelia was a mortal — was flawed.
I really need that book, Aperio thought with a slight shake of her head. A single step closed the distance between herself and the portal, the casual display of her magic not scaring the people present as it had Adam. A few of the servants gave the tear in reality some worried looks, but none of them seemed particularly concerned about her tiny bit of teleportation. Perhaps there is a skill for that?
Laelia needed no prompting to step through the portal, offering a slight bow before she did so. Aperio simply offered a small wave to Maria before leaving herself, the portal closing behind her.
Before anyone in the small room in the house of healing could speak, Aperio raised her hand. "Caethya, do you have the book on the Human language?"
"Yes," she replied, quickly producing a thick, leather-bound book from a black rift that had opened in front of her.
An unneeded flick of Aperio's wrist let the book appear in her hand, a part of her mind immediately dedicating itself to not accidentally breaking it. "Thank you."
Very carefully, the All-Mother leafed through the freshly acquired book, tilting her head ever-so-slightly at the rather simple drawings of various species talking to each other with little bubbles above their heads. Not wanting to start learning the language right then and there, Aperio shut the book and let it vanish into her Void.
"Do you plan on telling us what exactly is going on, Aperio?" Laelia asked, letting herself fall into a free chair.
When she's around people she knows, her confidence is back. The All-Mother did not count Adam, the Human seemingly not bothering her Scion or anyone else. Except me…
That he had fallen out of a literal hole in reality did not sit well with her, especially since she knew that her System had made it. Just not why it had done so.
"I do wish to tell you," Aperio finally replied. "But neither do I know how to do so nor has there been time in which to reflect upon the matter. If you want to leave, you are free to do so. I think I have made it abundantly clear how I stand on free will."
"You did. But..." Laelia sighed, her voice trailing off as she simply stared at the All-Mother for a moment, unable to find the words that would reflect her thoughts.
"You have to understand that you aren't alone, Mother," Ferio said as Laelia continued to remain quiet. "I have told you countless times already, but you continue to march ahead on your own. I know how this feels and I know that it is not the way. Cannot be the way."
"I was alone during much worse than this," Aperio snapped, focusing on her daughter. "You know nothing."
Despite being shown the care she had longed for, she could hear the voice at the back of her mind growing ever louder at the audacity of everyone around her. How could they belittle her? Assume she needed help? She was the Creator of everything! She made their puny lives possible. How dare they assume they knew how she felt?! Knew anything?
"You weren't there," Aperio said, her voice filling every corner of the room, the mana imbued in it causing the crystal lights to shine bright for a moment before they shattered.
"You waited. Unacting. Hoping that time would solve your problem." A tear in the fabric of reality widened with each word the All-Mother spoke, the blinding white light that shone within casting the room in apparent darkness with its brilliance.
"Behold what waiting got you," Aperio began. Tiny bands of the white light started to flow from the rift, wrapping themselves around their mistress. "What betrayal made me."
Her weapon settled comfortably into her waiting hand. Around her hips, waist, chest, collarbones and shoulders coiled multiple strips of bright white, and as the seconds passed they settled into loops. Their brightness dimmed to a shining silver as the separate armoured bands came into being to protect her entire torso, from hip to shoulder joints.
Aperio did not know — nor care — how she formed the armour or why she had bothered. All she wanted was to show her daughter what her time as a slave had taught her. No connections — no weakness.
"You did not raise Gods only for them to betray you; cast you down to life as a slave!" She spat the words, the mortals in the room visibly recoiling as the mana washed over them. "None of you know my pain."
With a quiet clank, the last of her mana-forged armour set itself into place, wings spreading behind the All-Mother as the light from the tear flooded the room and turned the world an all-consuming, blinding white. A few last words echoed through the room as Aperio vanished, a few of her feathers slowly drifting towards the ground.
"None of you will stop me from exacting my revenge."
Aperio definitely needs help...
Squish them! Show them the wrath of the All Mother. Smite the ungrateful cretins!
well, I'd say it's ferio's fault this time for being too forceful, Aperio literally mentioned a few sentences previously that she wants to tell them about her past, but she doesn't know how, and that she didn't have enough time to reflect on it
Indeed.
I'm getting kinda tired of her extreme mood swings ever other chapter, thought she had worked through the the worst of it during her last outburst but here we go again.
@Gurkamajskorn if you dont adress or fix the issue, naturally the symptoms of the problem wont disapear, i find the way shes acting very realistic and apropriate considering everything
@Prometheus The symptoms are forced. Its like all those tropes in media about women being emotional and its disappointing and forced plot.
@coldpyr0 i draw parallels with ptsd, which is a issue men get to experience more with them being the bulk of most millitaries or depression
Neither are issues that heal fast or easaly, nor should be taken lightly
@Prometheus The problem is that the author is taking it lightly. She has already expressed a desire to accept help AND shown numerous times that acting like they know causes issues yet the author insists on walking this circle every chapter. They are deliberately ham-stringing the characters and irrationally making them repeat the same emotional plot every time. It only takes once or twice after a negative reaction for people to wise up and stop acting like they know and instead just support the person and not lecture them about KNOWING what they went through or need. These characters are becoming one dimensional because the author refuses to let the emotional plot progress naturally.
@coldpyr0 cant say that i agree
@coldpyr0 Emotions can't be resolved through will alone. Just wanting to accept the help doesn't mean you can. It's a bit repetitive yes, but it's how emotions work. They're never neat and tidy.
@Death_Threat_Collector I don't think you read my comment. Most of the problem is that the idiots around the MC are stunted and emotionally dead because the author is forcing them to be so to keep smacking us across the face with enough emotional context to bring the dead back to life. The author has zero clue how to be subtle or write naturally, this is obvious given how the MC can clearly see their emotional and mental blocks and can do absolutely nothing to stop them. She keeps whining to herself about her problems and then refuses to actively work on fixing them, she ONLY complains. REAL characters aren't able to freely identify their problems, that is why they are problems and why real-life has whole professions around talking to people about your issues so you can learn what they ACTUALLY are instead of just how they make you feel. This is forced through the supporting cast constantly saying the sh*t that triggers the MC and the MC only ever being triggered and never trying to help themselves. Nothing is forcing her to constantly move around and make excuses to ignore these issues, she just complains about them and finds another thing to do to avoid them instead of sitting the f*ck down and actually doing nothing but introspection. The character is 1 dimensional, they have EMOTIONS and nothing else. No actual driving force, just avoiding distractions. No actual goal, just always running. It is boring for an MC and it would be frustrating/impossible to tolerate in a real person let alone a fiction you need to keep me interested to read. Every person has a limit in the number of emotions they can handle on behalf of another, and I get enough of that sh*t from real-life relationships so I don't need more of the type that makes for a shitty friend here in my free time hobby. All good if you enjoy it, but you can't deny that the majority of this novel could be cut out and the reader would miss practically no story beats or major plot points. It is a power fantasy with an emotionally unstable toddler as the MC, and that is draining and just plain boring to read.
@coldpyr0 So THAT'S WHY! No, this story isn't a power fantasy, it's a slice of life story about someone with trauma and memory loss and a side of power fantasy. From the very get go this story hasn't cared much about actual strength outside of ranking the power levels. If you want a power fantasy go read some shonen battle series, there's plenty out there and you don't need gods for that. Hell a god protagonist almost always makes it inherently NOT power fantasy because it's nigh impossible to make a god protagonist low power enough to not make it look like they held back when there's a bit of a fight.
This story is none of that, sometimes a bit yea but really not. The MC has issues, recognizes them and tries to work through it, but that's exhausting mentally and boring to just read that and that alone. So she takes breaks and does other stuff because you can't just sit down and work through you're emotions and trauma like it's a job. Whenever she's pushed on the topics more than she's capable of handling she reacts badly, because that's how people work.
Recovery is a slow road and there's a thousand important things that demand MC's attention and it overwhelms her. It's well done overall, a bit strong off at times, it's a bit repetitive sure, but you can't expect the author to be perfect. A good story doesn't have JUST story beats and major plot points, that makes a boring read. If you think it's too slow paced, go find something faster, this is not the type of story that's for everyone. But that doesn't excuse just spouting off flat out untrue claims.
@Death_Threat_Collector I agree, mental issues are not resolved fast.
Training up muscels from a fat body would be easier than working though mental problems. You need to know a problem, then recinize when it happens, and then, only then you can try to change. AND CHANGE IS f*ckING HARD!! Every step in this process can take months or years. Our brains are not build for swift changes like that.