I woke up awful today. My anxiety continues to tremble my body. I'm never going to live this down. There was nothing I could when I had to face Heather yesterday. She look so stunned and shocked. What could I say? Nothing. I just froze in place. I don't even remember what happened after that.

What can I say to Heather the next time I see her? Even if she never speaks to me during the summer, we might bump into each other when we get back to school. In fact, will she tell everyone what happened? Did she tell her parents? I'm sure she did. My parents are probably going to get a phone call from them sometime soon.

In either case, this just proves things are messed up in my head. I better see the school psychologist soon.

I put on my clothes and go to the living room where my parents are waiting.

"Son," my mom greets me first, "looks like you are now okay. Looks like a nice, well rested night was all you needed, right? Look at you, all better and normal now."

"I'm a nervous wreck."

"Oh, don't say that. Here, have some chamomile tea."

"Honey, that's enough," my dad says.

"Don't you say anything!"

"Come on, son. Let's go before she brings that thing out."

We step outside and there was Nola, waiting for me.

"Once I go to the toilet with her, I'll be down." and my father proceeds to the car.

"Elon," she says, "are you going to the doctor?"

"Yeah."

"Is it because of me?"

"Don't blame yourself, Nola. It's just the way things are."

"Elon, can I come with you?"

"No, Nola. This is something I go to face. You'll have to see the doctor on your own as well."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

"Nola..." I give her a hug and even give her a kiss. She likes it when I do it, but this time it wasn't working. She still looked sad.

"I'll help you anyway I can, Elon."

"Thanks, Nola. For now, let's just use the toilet. Remember, don't drink anything but water until I come back."

"Okay. I'll do as you say."

I take her to my bathroom and afterwards, I head towards my dad, where we drive off to the school.

"Sorry about this, Son. I guess I should've stood up for you."

"What's done is done."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You really think you have a problem?"

"Yes, dad. You don't just go into a girl's bathroom full of women casually, you know."

"Aw, son, it's not that bad."

"I saw my date using the toilet. I may have to change schools, you know."

"Well, that's not going to happen. Don't worry, I'm sure she won't tell anyone."

"She might have told her parents. You might get a phone call."

"Oh... yeah. She might have. Okay, good looking out son. I wish your mother luck. Let her handle it. I'm going bowling with the guys."

And we just continue driving.

"Just relax, Mr. Peeper. You are free to tell me anything. But remember, this is just an evaluation. It can be used when you are going to seek professional help but I am just a school psychologist. Thjs is merely the start. So go on."

"Well, last night, I walked into a busy girl's bathroom without any problem."

"Ouch. That must have been embarrassing."

"More like mortifying. I literally can't remember half of the things that happened. I only recall entering and seeing my date on the toilet. I had no problem opening the stall. If only she locked it, that might have saved her the embarrassment."

"You've been doing this for all your life. You've been conditioned to have no problems entering the girl's bathroom. I'm not actually surprised."

"So what can I do?"

"Just answer my questions and I can give you a diagnosis. Let's start with Nola. Tell me something about her."

"She's been my friend since kindergarten. She's been so shy and socially isolated since then. She still is. I blame her parents. They did nothing to get her help. Now she's so meek, she's too afraid to be around anyone."

"Anyone except you? How did you meet her?"

"She was just standing outside the bathroom, too afraid of going in. I just wanted to inquire about her and she requested I go in with her. I agreed but don't recall why. I just went in with her. Then she told me to go into the stall. That's when I started to hesitate."

"This happened when you were in kindergarten?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting. Mind elaborating on that?"

"Elaborating?" In other words, she wants me to relive this.

....

...

...

Ugh... I don't want to.