16. Luke
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The melodic sounds of music coming from the TV wakes Lucca up in the middle of the night. It was then that he realizes that he had fallen asleep unaware of when or how but he was in the bed with Caleb by his side. One of Caleb’s arm is wrapped around his chest. Surprisingly, he is not panicked being in the position. He feels safe. He looks to his right to see Caleb’s face close up. Caleb looks calm in his sleep.

 

Why don’t you take the pillow and suffocate him?

 

The voice in his mind spoke. He blinks his eyes twice, trying to reorganize his thoughts.

 

Wouldn’t it be amazing to watch him suffer as he dies?

 

Again. The voice. That familiar voice. Slightly, almost invisibly, Lucca smiles knowingly to himself. He then pushes Caleb’s arm away softly as he rises up from the bed. He looks over at the clock on the table by his side. It was 11 p.m. at night. He is surprised that it was still early because when he woke up just now, he thought that it was probably around 2 a.m. but it appears that he is wrong. It’s starting to make sense now. He has had episodes of time loss lately. It was not a common occurrence but it’s enough to give him some kind of certainty.

 

“Caleb!” Lucca called, pulling Caleb’s shirt roughly. “I’m hungry,” he complained.

 

Caleb opens his eyes lazily as his hand quickly catches Lucca by the wrist. He pulls Lucca closer to him. Their eyes locked for a while before a smile creeps on Caleb’s face. “You’re so pretty,” he then simply complimented Lucca. Lucca’s face flushed red before pulling himself away immediately. It was then that he thought to himself that if Caleb dies, he won’t be able to see that stupid smile on Caleb’s face anymore nor hear him say stupid things like that again. His heart feels warm.

 

Don’t be stupid.

 

The voice spoke again. Lucca almost screams ‘shut up’ in his head but instead, he pretends that he didn’t hear it. “I’m hungry, Caleb. Let’s go eat?” He asked politely. It was partly because he feels pity for Caleb because he knows deep inside him that he is cursed. He is cursed to cause pain to everyone around him. He knows that one day, Caleb might suffer as well because of this choice that he had made to flee with him. He knows that this is all temporary. All the warmness. All the cheekiness. One day, he has to say goodbye to Caleb. He must find his own path and leave it all behind. Or maybe, just maybe… run back to papa.

 

By the time that Lucca was still lost in his thoughts, Caleb is already up from the bed and got himself ready. He saw something inside of Lucca’s backpack that was of course wasn’t packed by him in the first place. It was Luke’s plan to run away. It was Luke who had packed Lucca’s bag. He takes out the stuffed toy out of Lucca’s backpack. It was old and dirty. The fabric had hardened over time. “A teddy bear?” He asked. “Why would you pack this?”

 

“Why would you pack it? I wonder as well. Because I’m not the one who pack my bag,” Lucca answered almost annoyed by the question. He is sure that he didn’t. But nearly as soon as he answers, he realizes something. He snatches the teddy bear away from Caleb’s hand and looks at it, feeling bitter. “Luke,” he then announced. And he turns to look into Caleb’s eyes who seems just as surprised as he is. “It was Luke,” he declared.

 

“Who’s Luke?” Caleb asked him, pretending not to be familiar with the name. He himself is surprised to hear Lucca spoke of the name aloud. All this while, he thought that Lucca had no idea of his other half but it seems that he is wrong. What else is that devilish Luke is hiding, he has no idea.

 

Lucca then only smiles at Caleb, sitting down on the bed, trying to calm himself down. “This teddy bear,” he indicated. “His name is Luke. He was my guardian angel,” he said. “Mama gave it to me and told me that it will protect me from harm. But then when I was sent to the institution, I didn’t bring it with me and I was informed by Dr. Neilson, my psychiatrist, that I have DID. And my other identity is Luke,” he informed. “He suspected that it was Luke who killed mama. Not me. Something like that. But I’m not sure. I don’t quite remember. His theory is that I both projected and introjected Luke as part of my own identity to protect myself due to the trauma that I had experienced.”

 

Caleb sits by Lucca’s side on the bed carefully, pondering on whether he should let Lucca know about his encounter with Luke or not. It was certain that Luke doesn’t want Lucca to know but… he is not sure of what he will do. “Have you ever met him? I mean…like you know…talk to him or something? This Luke guy?” He asked. 

 

Lucca didn’t answer. Instead, he only looks at Caleb with his eyes narrowed fill with suspicion. “Well, have you?” he then asked, nearly malicious in his manner.

 

Caleb only laughs at the question. Out of nervousness. He felt accused. “No,” he then answered. Simply. The key to lying is to keep it simple. And he didn’t elaborate. He only looks back at Lucca, playing dumb.

 

It was then that Lucca started to laugh. It was a slow and calculated laughter. Almost as if he is mocking someone with his laughter and that was when Caleb realizes that… “Luke?” he called.

 

“Yes,” he answered.

 

“You diabolical son of a bitch,” Caleb cursed. Part of him is relief but the other part is terrified. For Luke to be able to impersonate Lucca up to that point really fucks up his mind. He now would not be sure of when Lucca is really Lucca or when Lucca is actually Luke.

 

Luke laughs again. Pretending to be Lucca was fun. He wanted to test it out, on whether he can trust Caleb or not and it appears that Caleb is trustworthy after all. “Oh well, Caleb boy, I’m famished. Let’s go out for dinner, shall we?”

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