Eric woke up feeling… off. He couldn’t quite place what was wrong with his immediate environment, but something definitely wasn’t right. There was a bird chirping nearby, but that wasn’t too far out of the ordinary. He lived on the outskirts of town, so small critters making noise was something he was used to. It was a little warmer than expected. Maybe his heater had kicked on at the wrong time.
His room definitely smelled different, that he was sure of. While he wasn’t the dirtiest person he knew, he often skipped a day or two of showering, so smelling like sweat in his third-floor apartment room was a semi-regular occurrence. He was a live-in author and gamer, so this was only to be expected. But now, he smelled… earth. Earth, plants, and even a little bit of rain. Did he leave his window open last night? It was possible.
The bird chirped again, a little louder now, and he pushed himself up by the hands. He was too tired to realize that the surface under his ground wasn’t cloth, but dirt. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand, he blinked his eyes open and looked around. It was then that his new surroundings were obvious. He was in the middle of a forest, on a packed dirt path.
“What?” He asked stupidly, trying to piece everything together. “Where am I?”
This wasn’t even the forest close to his home, he realized. The trees he was used to were spruce and birch. Here, the trees looked more like oak, though their trunks were much wider. It was also warm, as he’d noticed earlier. Much warmer than it should be in the middle of an Alaskan winter. The mere thought of what he’d have experienced waking up in an Alaskan forest made him rub his arms. He frowned, feeling not a bare chest like he’d fallen asleep in.
He looked down and realized that he was wearing a white cloth tunic. An actual tunic, like the kind they wore in medieval times, complete with a white cloth belt holding it closed. The breeches he was wearing were white as well, save for where they were stained with dirt. They were cinched at the waist and ankles and were actually quite comfortable.
New Quest A New World You awake in a strange new area, unsure of how you got here. Maybe looking around is a good idea. Objective: Find the nearest waypoint. (Optional: Collect a Shard) Reward: 50xp, 10cp |
The text window appeared before him without warning, and he jumped back with a cry of shock. Then, realizing that he wasn’t under attack, he forced himself to calm down and read what it said. A quest? What was this supposed to be, some kind of video game? Was there a character sheet too? He snorted with laughter then jumped again, as that very thing appeared before him. It had four tabs: Basic Information, Equipment & Treasure, Combat Information, and Abilities. He looked at Basic Information, and another screen appeared.
[Basic Information] Name: Eric Breeden Age: 20 Likes: Fighting, Music Dislikes: Liars, Racism, Assholes in general |
Eric laughed as he saw the likes and dislikes sections. It was pretty spot-on, he had to admit. Still chuckling quietly, he wondered what the Class section was supposed to be for. Normally when you started playing as a character, the race and class would have already been decided. Apparently, his race was Outworlder, which he didn’t quite get. Shaking his head slightly, he turned his attention to the next tab.
Slot |
Item Name |
Effect |
Main Hand |
||
Offhand |
||
Armor |
Simple Cloth |
None |
Ring |
||
Ring |
||
Belt |
||
Earring |
||
Earring |
||
Necklace |
[Treasure] [Shards of Ahya] 0 [BANK] 0 GP [PP] 0 [GP] 0 [SP] 0 [CP] 0 Relic of Antiquity (No Value) Bedroll (1 Copper) Fire Kit (1 Copper) 10x Rations (No Value) |
Nothing important there, he decided. Next tab.
[Combat Information] Level: 1 Hit Points: 3 Physical Attack: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex) Magical Attack: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex) Physical Defense: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex) Magical Defense: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex) |
Stat |
Race |
Class |
Assigned |
Gear |
Misc |
Total |
Strength |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
Dexterity |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
Constitution |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
Magic |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
Intelligence |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
So a three in every stat, he thought. Even though this system was brand-new to him, he knew that was very weak. How did he get a class, then? And, of course, the second he really focused on the thought of a class, there was another window that appeared.
New Quest Getting Started You appear to be unarmed. Selecting a class and starting equipment would help. Objective: Choose a weapon. Reward: Starting Weapon, 50xp |
A flash of light and three bundles of cloth appeared on the ground in front of him. Curious, he reached out to touch the first. A text window appeared in front of him.
Would you like to loot? [Warrior] Rusty Longsword [Warrior] Simple Hide Shield |
There were too many windows popping up, he thought. He wondered if he could clear them. At the mere thought, all the windows, including the one about the sword and shield, disappeared. He breathed a sigh of relief since the faint humming from each window was starting to give him a headache. He still believed this was some kind of strange dream, which helped him think through it all rationally. He had a vested interest in lucid dreaming, and this was probably just one of those. He reached out for the second and third bundles.
Would you like to loot? [Rogue] Chipped Bow x1 [Rogue] Rusty Dagger x1 |
Would you like to loot? [Mage] Worn Staff x1 [Mage] Spellbook x1 |
The classes were pretty bland, he thought to himself. Maybe they were only the starting classes. Would he have to unlock more classes by completing achievements? Or was it prestige-based, where delving further into one class would reveal more powerful or useful archetypes? Either option was fine, as long as the class system didn’t stop here. Still, he told himself, this was a dream, so he wasn’t likely to make it that far anyway.
He liked the idea of magic, even of using stealth to make some epic sneaky kills, but if he was being honest, he preferred the idea of a sword and shield. Well, just the sword. But it seemed the shield was included whether he wanted or not, so he might as well take it. He reached out for the first bundle again and accepted the items. All three bundles disappeared from view once he’d made his choice, and a faint ding sounded in the back of his mind. Curious, he brought up his Combat Information window again.
[Combat Information] Level: 1 Hit Points: 3/3 Attack: 15 (11 Strength, 4 Half Dexterity) Defense: 15 (11 Constitution, 4 Half Dexterity) |
Stat |
Race |
Class |
Assigned |
Gear |
Misc |
Total |
Strength |
3 |
8 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
11 |
Dexterity |
3 |
5 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
8 |
Constitution |
3 |
8 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
11 |
Magic |
3 |
2 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
5 |
Intelligence |
3 |
2 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
5 |
That was cool, he thought. Not a bad spread of stats for a warrior, either. The shield had appeared slung over his back by a simple leather strap, and the sword was on a leather belt at his side. He drew the sword, noting curiously how light it seemed in his hand, and gave it a few experimental swings. It felt like he’d been using the weapon his whole life.
He sheathed the sword and focused his attention on his surroundings. There had been a quest mentioned, he remembered. Find the nearest waypoint, with an optional objective of finding a shard? He had no idea what the shard was about, but the waypoint bit sounded pretty self-explanatory. Video games used waypoints all the time, either for temporary tracking, or even teleportation across vast distances.
Looking around, he noticed again that he had woken up on a dirt path. Since he hadn’t moved, it was easy to see that the path seemed to lead further into the trees in both directions. Well, if he was still in this dream, might as well explore, right? He chose a direction at random and started walking. He was glad his clothing was so light because the heat of the day had become even more intense as he’d sat there, trying to figure out what this dream was about.
It didn’t take him long to see that the forest was thinning, as if he’d reached the edge. The path was a pretty direct one, and it had only turned once or twice before bringing him to what he wanted. Glancing up at the sky, he could make out the beaming sun, the source of all that miserable heat. He could also make out the faint silhouettes of two other celestial bodies in the sky. Wait. Two moons?
Quest Complete A New World You awake in a strange new area, unsure of how you got here. Maybe looking around is a good idea. Objective: Find the nearest waypoint. (Optional: Collect a Shard) Reward: 50xp, 10cp |
He looked down in surprise at the ding and saw a large stone altar, perhaps four feet high and three feet wide. There was a small stone basin at the center, and it was filled with water. It didn’t look or smell like anything but water, and as he dipped a finger in, it didn’t taste off. He shrugged, and dunked his entire face in, practically inhaling the water as he chugged it down. It felt amazing against his face in this heat, and when he finally pulled away, a lot of it splashed onto his clothing, drenching him.
“Whoo, that’s good stuff,” he said between heavy breaths. “Wonder why this dream came to me? Still, could be worse, like a nightmare. Can’t complain.”
He wiped his face dry with the sleeve of his tunic and took another moment to survey his surroundings. The forest had opened onto wide plains, with waist-high grass growing as far as he could see. The path continued out of the forest and winding its way through the plains, but he lost sight of it after a few feet, thanks to the tall grass. He heaved a sigh and sat himself down at the side of the altar. This was an interesting dream to be sure, but he wished he could move on to something less unpleasant. Or he could wake up, he thought with a laugh. Why couldn’t he just sleep like a normal person?
[WARNING] You cannot rest while in combat. |
well the choice of weapon was to be expected...
Was it? I tried to keep it ambiguous.
I won't lie, the first chapter doesn't grab me. You're basically handing us an info dump on Eric before giving us much reason to sympathize with him.
The text itself is clean and clear, which is good, but it's inefficient.
Take this bit.
The text window appeared before him without warning, and he jumped back with a cry of shock. Then, realizing that he wasn't under attack, he forced himself to calm down and read what it said.
I don't feel Eric's surprise here. You diluted the sensation with a large amount of unnecessary, passive language. Your writing is strong enough to build the same image with Eric yelping as the window pops up. As written, it feels like I have to sift through a bunch of sand to get your gold.
That's a super interesting insight, and I'm glad you followed up from the forum post. I'll have to weigh this in my mind for a bit, but you make a lot of good points.
Yes stories like this always present the option of a mage then say f*ck NO! So i say the same to this story!!!
You had the option to continue on to other stories without being this vulgar?
@C_P_Tuck i'm sorry if i offended you but your story was exiting and i tried reading it some more but warrior mc is like caveman to me so dropped it on ch 4 i left the comment in the hopes of you ( a writer ) thinking of getting your attention in the hopes of making a mage mc story like this and i thought that comments draw attention to a story? i will delete the comment if i misunderstood scribblehub in that way ( thought all commends push up the ranking ) like its enjoyable so i want people to pay attention to your story ( in the hopes of you making more of them ) but i have a mental blockade for warriors and i am really sorry for taking it out on you if the story was trash i wold show no reaction at all that is why it hurts my mage mc
@adrad555 I mean, I get the thought process. But Eric just ain't a mage lol.
u want a mage, go read Tome of the Body. Misleading title in that sense.
Physical Attack: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex)
Magical Attack: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex)
Physical Defense: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex)
Magical Defense: 0 (0 Strength, 0 Half Dex)
if i'm reading this right the only stat that matters is strength as it provide bonus to all equivalent to it value, the next best stat is dextery but it only gives half the bonus of strength.
This can't be right.
This tiny part of the system is outdated. I have updated it to be more concise in future chapters.
Ooh! That's the chapter I've been waiting since yesterday! Looks at the clock that show 16 minutes past midnight. Well, two days ago.
[Outsider] race? Looks pretty buff. Idk if +3 to all stats is that incredible, though.
And I wonder what those GP, SP, PP and CP stand for? Gold points, spell/skill/silver points, pepper points and copper/class points? Well, let's see that in the next chapter!
Outsiders are pretty buff, but that's by design. Technically, it's a race created solely by Samuel Bragg. It's 3 in everything, where a normal human has 2 in everything, so that they're not only varied enough to do anything, but also strong to give them a little boost at the start. It's a minuscule difference at higher levels, but makes a great deal of difference at the start. I'm actually rolling everything for attacks and defense for this story, and I can assure you it's an important buff.
Also, the P in PP, GP, SP, and CP stands for "pieces". As in platinum pieces, gold pieces, silver pieces, and copper pieces. So sorry, I thought that meaning would be obvious to everyone. I kind of take it for granted that I've played D&D for nearly 19 years haha.
@C_P_Tuck Lol, I didn't expect you to roll on a story plot. :D Neat idea, though.
And yes, I thought they could be money, but it was much more plausible that SP would have been skill points. Idk, not a pure D&D anyway. :)
In what little games I had played, we always had money in GP, and silver and copper coins were like cents to GP. E.g. 49 of each coin type would have been 49 PP and 49.4949 GP. Platinums are rare, yes. :D
@Xobotun My money system, much like D&D, is a decimal system. I'll break it down in GP (Gold) for each one so everyone understands the currency exchange.
PP=100 GP
GP= 1 GP
SP = .10 GP
CP .100 GP
Platinum is 100 gold instead of 10 because I grew up with a much older system and it stuck in my head. Plus, the idea of getting platinum coins is to ease up on the burden of gold.
Oh also, I don't roll on plot. Just attacks and defense. So if my simulated battle results in Eric's death, then he dies.
@C_P_Tuck Well, I had to look up, as I was completely sure it was 1:100 ratio in 3.5e. Nope, it is really 1:10. I guess we were playing some local homebrew then. :D
And now there is some kind of electrum coins. Sounds like heresy.
@C_P_Tuck By the way, how is his health pool size determined? It was 3 at 11 constitution and got to 4 at 14. I'd say 14 should give +2 skill modifier, and with even rolling 1d4 for HP, he should have been with 5 HP at very least.
Though having level cap at 100 makes D&D rules I barely remember even less applicable. :D
@Xobotun So I promise to make a doc explaining the various stats of the character sheet soon.
HP is 3 + Level/5 + CON/5
At level 1 he doesn't get the buff from level, but he has at least 10 con, so he has +2. So 5 total. Sometimes I'm bound to make a mistake, but I'll catch it sooner or later.
@Xobotun Electrum is just stupid. It's half a plat. So dumb, not to mention unnecessary. I've never seen a competent DM use EP...