Alana is reluctant to let go of my arm. I have to pass her to Kierra, who expertly pries the slightly drunk blonde off me and scoops her up. Since they’ve been training together, they’ve gotten much closer. I don’t know if what they have is love but there is certainly a strong camaraderie there. And sexual tension. That’s thick enough between them that I could take a bite out of it.

To be fair, my wife inspires lust in just about anyone with any level of libido, no matter their relationship status or what they think they’re attracted to. It’s a rare person that can resist her charms. Alana didn’t stand a chance. More interesting is that Kierra is just as interested in her.

Alana is very desirable, despite what she thinks of herself though I think I’m getting through to her on that front, and Kierra is a sexual person. I never questioned that she would be up to joining the two of us. What surprises me a little is that they are intimate outside of me.

Kierra is a lovely savage, with a strong emphasis on the word savage. She can be soft and gentle, but she prefers and defaults to hard and violent in most areas of her life. The bedroom is a prime example, not an exception. Alana is strong, and growing stronger everyday under Kierra’s attentions, but she can’t handle the kind of face-in-the-dirt, ride-you-until-your back-breaks, rutting my elf craves.

Alana also isn’t a flower like Talia, the kind of lover Kierra’s culture demands she be gentle with. She wants to be a fighter. Which should mean that my elf treats her as roughly as she treats me. Yet, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t say she’s gentle but she’s certainly…patient. If there was ever a doubt that she’s making an effort to adjust to life in the human kingdom, her relationship with Alana serves as ample proof.

I smile at Jac before jumping onto the stage. Talia makes room for me center stage, stepping back. I look over the socializing crowd, contemplating the best way to capture everyone’s attention.

I settle for a faux roar, doing my best imitation of a titan. A normal person attempting such a thing would make a fool of themselves at best but no part of me is normal. Including my voice and my lungs. My roar, well. It doesn’t sound like a titan, but it is monstrous. And it does its job to hilarious effect.

The room jumps to attention. Many eyes glow with channeled mana as the experienced fighters in the room react to the perceived threat. The three most impressive responses are Jack, Alyssa’s scruffy hunter friend, Lane, her lackey, and Mouse-tail from the Temple group.

While the redheaded instructor has the standard response of scanning the room with a level-headed stare, the two men next to her are far more extreme. Jack drops his drink, Bell performing a miraculous slide to keep the glass from shattering, and produces two long knives from seemingly nowhere while crouching. He looks ready to pounce on something, displaying both a ferocity and agility I wouldn’t expect from his appearance.

I have no doubt that if I were standing next to him when I pulled my little stunt, I would have a few more holes. Maybe. He’s quick but I don’t know if he has what it takes to pierce my tough skin. He certainly would have tried.

Lane is similarly impressive in the opposite direction. Every other fighter in the room looks for the threat, ready to strike. Lane doesn’t bother. His first instinct is to step between me, the source of the sound, and Alyssa. He extends a hand and fire erupts from his palm, forming a shield.

Fire is the worst affinity when it comes to defense but it can serve as a deterrent. Really, it’s the thought that counts. And his first thought is to protect her. It’s heartwarming…and sad. So incredibly sad. The poor man’s love is practically overflowing but he doesn’t have a chance with her. Not so long as he remains as meek as a mouse.

Speaking of a mouse, Mouse-tail has the most dramatic response by far. She jumps, getting impressive air, with her tail sticking straight up. When she lands, she lowers herself nearly to the floor and scampers behind Shake, the largest of her friends. I understand that those of the Temple emulate beasts but that was the most rodent-like response I could have imagined. I almost feel bad for being amused by it. Almost.

I clap my hands, drawing everyone’s gaze to me. “Don’t worry, nothing’s trying to eat you.” I chuckle as the room settles down. Shoulders relax, Mouse-tail looks at me dubiously from around one of Shake’s thick arms, Lane drops his spell with an embarrassed flush after Alyssa smacks him on the back, and Jack straightens up while putting away his knives. Huh. Their sheathes are on his back, under his shirt. That’s one way to be discreet. I wonder if they chafe?

“While I intended to do nothing but drink and make merry tonight, several guests have asked for a demonstration of my more physical talents.”

“Oh, for the love of the saints!” Alyssa grumbles. “I swear, if this damn brat has an orgy in the middle of the fucking—"

“Nothing that fun,” I say, making the woman who thought her comment would go unnoticed scowl. “While I’m sure everyone would prefer I take off my clothes—" A piercing whistle draws my attention to Cloud, who smiles broadly. I waggle my fingers at her. “I am talking about demonstrating my strength and durability. And since this is a party, I’ve decided to make a game of it. I’m challenging everyone here to put me down for the count. Knock me out. Kill me. Whatever you got.”

“You cannot be serious,” Alyssa grumbles, this time much louder.

“Isn’t that…dangerous?” William asks, his voice only rising for a moment before he shyly curls in on himself. He’s not the only one who looks worried. There is also a concerning amount of excited smiles in the crowd. Including all the members of the Temple. They really are insane.

“A few of you may be concerned about using lethal force on your charming host. There is no need to fear. I am completely confident that you’re all going to fail. Completely.” That gets some people motivated to commit bodily harm. “And even if I’m wrong, there are two master-level healers in the building to save me. One of which is my wonderful wife, the strikingly beautiful elf over there who on top of being gorgeous has a pure physical affinity. Truly, the world isn’t fair.”

Kierra looks up from cuddling Alana and winks at me.

“She’s proved that someone dying isn’t enough to stop her from bringing them back so there’s no need for anyone to hold back. However, there are going to be some rules. To start, no large attacks. You’re going to be attacking me, not the house. Keep it contained, people.”

What else is a good idea? “We’re going to have to limit the attacks each person gets or we’ll be doing this all night. One at a time, wait your turns. And…I think that covers it. Gajin, give us something…” I gesture with my hands but it’s enough for my gardener to understand my meaning.

Perched on a short stool, he rubs his hands together before slapping his largest drum in a strong, steady beat. Geneva is the next to join in, playing her lute-like instrument angrily, which is not a word I’d ever thought I’d apply to music. Talia and Earl stay quiet, but I can feel their focus, telling me it’s only a matter of time before they join in.

I jump off the stage and make my way to the center of the room. “Bell, clear that wall.” The imp does as instructed, cooing at the crowd and shuffling them to the side. Giving the challengers ample room with no chance of anyone behind me getting caught in any crossfire as I stand in front of the empty wall. I shrug off my shirt and toss it toward Cloud, but Mouse-tail swipes it from her, once again showing off her impressive jumping ability. My eyebrows go up as she holds my shirt to her nose and breathes in hard enough that I can hear it, but that’s something for later.

“You never said what the winner gets,” Arthur calls out.

Damn!

“The winner gets a case full of any drink they fancy,” Kierra calls out, saving me. “If you do not care to drink it yourself, they are unique delicacies and you all can vouch for the taste. A case would be worth a small, or perhaps not so small, fortune.”

I clap my hands. “And with that, let’s begin. Who’s first?”