In the next chamber, Nuwa is only allowed to attack with Casts, in other words, shooting arrows with Dao Strings attached. The one time she accidentally does not Cast, she takes damage and several of her snakes die. This is the consequence for violating Chaos’ penalty and the hurdle she has to overcome to unlock the blessing of improved ‘sync rate’, which better be worthwhile after having to deal with this penalty for three chambers.

Zagreus carefully focuses and dispatches his enemies in record time, even without his Zeus-blessed chain-lightning Cast. Nuwa benefits from having no aggro until she attacks, so she mainly picks off enemies one at a time when her brother looks like he cannot handle any more. She is at less than half health and is suffering a headache, so she does not trust her aim as much as before. Zagreus shoots down the last enemy with a spear throw. “Wait!” He says nervously to Nuwa while he recalls the Eternal Spear, “Let’s make a plan depending on which God’s orb drops.”

Nuwa reassures him, “I know, Big Bro Zag. I won’t be reckless.”

A divine pink orb spawns at the center of the chamber. The siblings approach the orb and trade glances with each other. Nuwa mutters, “There’s no real plan for Mistress Aphrodite, is there?”

Zagreus leans on the Eternal Spear, a habit he seems to have picked up from Achilles, and offers, “Other than being careful not to anger her, I guess not?”

Nuwa snickers and reminds Zagreus, “You’re the one who made her mad last time. I’m her precious disciple!”

Narrowing his eyes, Zagreus notes, “I’m not sure about that.. I get the feeling that there were a lot of passive-aggressive vibes coming at you from her.”

“Bro..” Nuwa argues, “I think you’re being silly. No one has disliked me at first impression.”

It then clicks in her mind. “My [Induced Good Impression] ability does not work on people this strong!”

Zagreus looks at her with confusion. Nuwa shakes her head with a self-deprecating laugh, “..You’re right. She might not like me. I don’t remember the last time that people disliked me at first impression.”

Zagreus reminds her, “Isn’t it obvious? You are as hot as her and now you plan to have sex with Ares and Dionysus. You’ll practically be her archenemy once she finds out.”

Nuwa’s mouth gapes in shock, but she eventually grits her teeth with resolve. She cannot let that future happen to Zina! Even if Aphrodite goes after her for real, she trusts that her daddy or Mother Nyx will protect her until she is strong enough to protect herself. Taking a moment to calm down, Nuwa pulls out the [Divine Font] and sits it on the ground next to the orb.

Zagreus places his palm on the glowing orb and says, “In the name of Hades.. Olympus, I accept this message!”

The orb bursts into a divine projection of Aphrodite snickering seductively. The [Divine Font] collects much of the power that bursts out of the orb through its lid, which closes when it’s done.  The opening for the wick connects the leftover divine power from the orb back to the bare feet of the floating Aphrodite, who cheerfully says, “Hello again, dearest! Oh, what a wonderful artifact. I suppose this lets us spend much more time together. Ufufuu.”

Zagreus smiles humbly and admits, “Well, it’s not mine.”

Aphrodite ignores this while floating over to him to glue her nude body to his clothed, injury-riddled body. She whispers into his ear, “We can even go.. all.. the.. way.”

Zagreus feels the Dao Strings patching up his body vibrate excitedly as they assist Aphrodite in building his arousal, causing him to involuntarily tremble.

‘These two vixens will be the death of me.. but I suppose I’d welcome such a death. Much better than getting put down by Meg.’

Zagreus wraps his arm politely around Aphrodite’s waist, who coos enthusiastically at his boldness and also senses the Dao Strings of Sex within him. She can already imagine sex with the godling feeling as good as her sessions with Dionysus, if he has a dozen more of those strings inside him. This reminds her of the danger of the Dao as well. There’s no avoiding that Daoists are always the most powerful beings among those at similar soul tiers.

Nuwa had been standing awkwardly at the side watching Aphrodite cozy up on her man even more brazenly than last time. She cannot deny she is pissed, but she understands that there would be a major double standard if she actually brought up any of those complaints. So she bottles up her jealousy and tries to get a handle on what Aphrodite actually thinks of her.

Aphrodite looks over at Nuwa casually and her smile droops when she sees the damage her disciple had suffered, most of which had been at the hands of Chaos. She absolutely hates violence against women, unless it’s her teaching a wench a lesson. “Oh, look at you, you poor, poor thing, you're hurt! Though, let me see if I can make it better.”

Aphrodite blows a kiss at Nuwa, which appears at first to be a paltry gesture, until a pink heart exits her mouth when she blows outward. The cartoonish-pink heart expands until it is the size of Nuwa’s head and crashes into her chest, disappearing into her body with a cute *plink* sound. Nuwa is too close to Zagreus and Aphrodite to even think to avoid it. She recoils a step back upon impact and happily finds that most of her hair-snakes have revived.

Nuwa smiles gratefully at Aphrodite and says, “Thanks Mistress!”

Aphrodite smiles back, leans on Zagreus’ shoulder, and states, “You’re welcome, dearie. I’m glad you are keeping my lessons in mind. You did well figuring out how to heal your brother. Seeing as I still need enough power to provide a Boon to your brother, our time together is unfortunately at its end already.”

She glances down at the [Divine Font] and narrows her eyes before turning back to Nuwa and warning with the same bright smile as previously, “Don’t get any ideas.” Aphrodite bursts into a pink fog that forms a panel of three random Boons.

The siblings once again get cold sweat at the Goddess’ overt threat. Aphrodite apparently has some intuition into the function of the artifact and Nuwa’s intentions with it, or it could just be her paranoia talking for her. It is well known that Aphrodite is no stranger to lovers betraying her for convenience or whims. Nuwa coughs and suggests, “Never mind.. Let’s keep Ares and Dionysus off-limits as well, at least for now. I don’t want to antagonize Mistress Aphrodite so soon.”

Zagreus says, “Maybe that’s for the best sis.” and selects Dying Lament. This Boon makes each enemy he kills explode into a cloud of pink fog. This pink fog deals one-time damage to nearby enemies and inflicts the Weak curse on them as well. It’s a good Boon for killing large mobs of weak enemies.

Nuwa walks beside her brother and points to his engorged crotch with a cheeky grin, “Need any help with that?”

Zagreus freezes and looks down. He helplessly says, “Forget it, sis. I know you’re just being polite. This is bound to happen every time I meet Aphrodite. We should focus on maintaining progress.”

Nuwa’s grin fades back into serious resolution, “Big Bro Zag, I’m sorry. This is supposed to be a fun adventure.. but now Zina is in danger. I guess I just want to thank you for understanding.”

“There’s plenty of time to thank me once we’re strong enough.” concedes Zagreus, “Don’t worry about me. I’m alright if we only have sex when you need relief or my power.”

Nuwa hugs his arm where Aphrodite had been and rubs her body against him as if trying to rub her presence off him. “I love you so much, big brother.”

Zagreus blushes and chaindashes towards the next chamber in an attempt to re-enter combat to distract himself from how heated Nuwa’s adorable wholesomeness is making him.

~ ~ ~

Today, out of nowhere, the Hyuga household began celebrations for Naruto and Hinata’s marriage. This would have been no big deal had they not been discussing a law that they thought had been passed several weeks back, when in fact, there had been no such event in any paperwork or any surveillance record that Orochimaru had checked. He found the strange phenomenon so unswervingly interesting that he went straight to Tsunade to see if she still had her wits about her.

Standing in front of Naruto, he cannot even be bothered to conceal how interested he is in this matter before Tsunade. He pinches Naruto’s cheek, then he opens Naruto’s mouth with his fingers and pulls his tongue out to check. He suspects the involvement of the Throat chakra in this phenomenon, so he pulls painfully at Naruto’s tongue, trying to get a better look.

“Cut it out, Orochi. That’s disgusting.” says Tsunade from behind him. “There’s definitely something wrong with the boy, though.”

Orochimaru tsks and reluctantly lets go of Naruto’s tongue, who sucks it back into his mouth in extreme fear, which only gets worse when he hears what Tsunade says next. “Let’s bring them to your lab.”

Hinata begins to protest, “Hey! Even if you’re the Hokage, you can’t flout the law! Naruto wanted to fuck me here!”

Orochimaru raises his brows and notes the extremely awkward rationale for her argument. He asks her, “Why must you listen to Naruto when he asks you to have sex in abnormal places?”

Hinata replies in a matter-of-fact manner, “There is no abnormal place for me to have sex with Naruto.”

Orochimaru nods and continues, “Out of curiosity, if Naruto asked you to have sex outside in full view of the public, would you do it?”

Hinata tilts her head and replies, “What kind of silly question is that? It’s normal for me to-”

Naruto shouts with a shaky voice, “H-h-hinata! T-that’s enough. These two so-called leaders of Konoha are hindering our efforts to have sex, so we shouldn’t cooperate with them!”

Rearing his head up with excitement, Naruto knows his only chance to make it through this with the Ring is to delay as much as possible for help to arrive. The rest of the town believes it is normal for him to have sex with Hinata whenever he wants! Only those in the upper echelon, he assumes, are immune to the effects of the ring!

Tsunade scoffs and orders Orochimaru, “Let’s go. I’ll bring Hinata.”

Hinata takes a combat stance, but Tsunade only has to exert her spiritual pressure to make her whole body freeze up. She wraps up Hinata with chakra string and slings her over the shoulder. The way Hinata’s hanging breasts sit atop Tsunade’s right boob is quite the lewd sight.

Orochimaru is too curious to discover Naruto’s secrets to even glance over. He ties up Naruto, not that he’s any threat with his slacker attitude towards shinobi training and one of his hands disabled. They start to leave the room amid Hinata’s angry smacktalk. “You boobmonster! Let go of me and my precious Naruto! We’re both virgins! That snakey guy is a known pedophile! Naruto can only lose his virginity to me!” Naruto pales at the thought of Orochimaru sticking it up his ass, but he stays otherwise silent.

While walking out of the office, Tsunade and Orochimaru notice the ANBU and receptionist looking at them with thinly veiled disapproval. Naruto senses the tense atmosphere and smiles deviously. He knows that this is not the right timing though. He has a feeling that those present are not strong enough to oppose Tsunade and Orochimaru even if they ganged up.

Tsunade snorts at the brainwashed plebs, then she knocks out the blabbering Hinata who has started to scream for help with a chop to her neck. They continue onward and the heads of those who they pass start to follow them. The onlookers, which include office workers, guards, and janitors all mutter their disapproval among themselves and shake their heads at the thought of the strongest of the town’s shinobi stooping to blatantly breaking the law and committing child abuse.

Orochimaru gives zero shits that the entire town hates him. That’s kind of how it always was since he abandoned all morals in the pursuit of knowledge. He looks around excitedly trying to understand more about this situation. Tsunade grows progressively more infuriated at what she thinks is a massive illusion jutsu cast upon what seems to be the entire town as she makes it out of the vicinity of the Hokage Tower.

She notices Hizashi and Fugaku walking together looking confused and calls out to them, “Hey! Over here.”

Hizashi looks relieved to spot Hinata in Tsunade’s arms even though she’s knocked out. “Lady Hokage, what’s going on? All of a sudden I am hearing from everyone that Hinata and Naruto have been betrothed in an obscene manner! I checked with my Byakugan for the influence of foreign chakra in my own brain and the others, but there was none. I’ve only found Fugaku who is similarly immune..”

The four of them look at each other with incredulity. An untraceable brainwashing has occurred on the entire town simultaneously and only the highest echelon of the town’s shinobi are immune! Somehow, an entirely normal day in Konoha with no sign of tailed beasts has become horrifying.

From his position of hanging over Orochimaru’s back, Naruto viciously smirks and shouts at the top of his lungs, “I WANT TO FUCK HINATA, BUT THEY WON’T LET ME!! HELP!” His shout carries in the wind and echoes across the town.

The four powerhouses are clearly taken aback by Naruto’s sudden shift from depressive silence to loud shouting. Their high positions in town are entrenched by their overwhelming strength, so they have no doubt that such a plea is both nonsensical and futile. Unexpectedly however, dozens of shinobi begin appearing on the roofs surrounding their position in a fancy square near the Hokage Tower. Orochimaru looks around and smiles with well-concealed fanaticism.

Kushina leaps down in front of them along with several Uzumaki elites. She crosses her arms with stifled anger and growls, “What’s going on, Tsunade? Why is my son tied up on Orochimaru’s shoulder? And my unconscious daughter-in-law on your shoulder? You may be the strongest, but that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like! I’m the only one allowed to abuse my son!”

Orochimaru notices that most people fail to notice Naruto on his shoulder until Kushina specifically points it out, despite the fact that most of them came here on his whim. ‘Puzzling.. What a delightful puzzle! What a mystery! Oh Kami, my first erection in years..!’

Tsunade looks like she’s just about ready to blow up and physically beat down everyone present, but Hizashi puts a hand on her shoulder and shakes his head. She stomps the ground with anger, causing long cracks to appear in the packed rock, and says, “It’s none of your business where I’m taking him! Why are you fuckers staring at me like that? What do you even want?!”

An elderly Uzumaki woman with an extremely solemn face steps forward by Kushina’s side and declares, “The law clearly states that if Naruto wants to have sex with Hinata, then you must allow it. If you prevent this from happening, you may traumatize little Naruto here and we may be deprived of his powerful progeny to fight off the tailed beasts in the future. We humbly request you release him.. or else.”

 

(A/N: I’m wtf’ing at my own plot O_O!)