23: Stunning Stone

Mayor Greg’s view

I regret it. I regret watching. That… that was not meant for a human to see. Every time I think about what I saw, I just get a splitting headache. I really need to not think about that.

Okay, so now there’s a giant slab of stone standing in a clearing in the nearby forest. This slab of stone is apparently intelligent, and will be expanding into the ground to construct water pipes… and I need to stop trying to make sense of what I saw when this slab of stone the size of a house wall came out of Lae. Gah, objects don’t move like that!

“Are you going to be okay?” Lae’s concern is touching, but considering she caused the problem…

“I should be okay. I just need to forget what I saw.”

“Sorry about that. Even I don’t exactly understand how the physics of that worked. It was like watching an escher painting in real life.”

...I’m just going to ignore the fact that I have no idea what she’s talking about. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know after what I just saw.

“Ahem, so, what do I call this, um, stone?” 

The color of the bottom portion of the stone changed from grey to black, and then I hear this loud booming deep voice say: “Call me James.”

Then the rest of the slab changed appearance to that of a beautiful picture… except it was moving! It looked like a painting of a naked man surrounded by naked women, except there were enough movements to make it look real! I thought it was my eyes playing tricks on me at first, but then the man spoke again.

“You want infrastructure? Not only will I build plumbing, I’ll build the internet! Prepare for the best porn delivery system ever made!”

Now I’m even more confused. What is internet? What is porn? 

“I’m pretty sure there’s more to the internet than just porn!” Lae’s assertion was answered with a sudden change in what was shown on the surface of James.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBDCq6Q8k2E

I have no idea what I just watched. So, I turned to Lae, and asked: “What’s porn?”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t Lae who answered me, but James, with his booming voice. “Glad you asked. Let me show you!”

I do not have words for what I was shown. Women and vaginas and dicks and men, but mostly just their dicks… 

…

Lae’s view

Seeing that Greg had become non-responsive after James began his montage of porn, I was a little worried. “James, you really need to tone things down. The people of this world aren’t ready yet for such an in depth display of your porn collection. How did you get such a collection anyway?”

“Ah, when making my character for this new life, I chose to preserve my entire porn collection! Choosing an inanimate object as my body freed up a ton of points to spend on other abilities.”

“I do hope you aren’t planning to add to your collection by spying on people.”

“Oh no no no! I’m going to hire them. Making porn and playing porn can generate DP! I can simply offer services in exchange!”

… I’m getting a little worried about this. Is every monster I summon going to have a weird personality? Wait, Annabelle isn’t weird, and she was the first one I summoned… except I haven’t seen her much since then. She’s always busy. Providing therapy to people in their dreams must be a really time consuming job.

I was originally thinking I’d end up with something like a monstrous dryad that would have a main body and an avatar, and spent plenty of DP on providing options for whomever was summoned, but instead I get a giant slab of stone that turned itself into a giant TV and plans to distribute porn to everyone. I suppose a communication network would be good though, and if James can create computers, that’d be nice.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright stuck in one place like this?”

“You kidding? I’ve got full on hallucinogenic VR here!”

“What do you mean by ‘hallucinogenic’?”

“Oh, well, I basically use hallucination magic on myself to make me experience my virtual world creations displayed on screen as if I’m really in them. I can’t do it to anyone else at this time.” James’ words worried me a little.

“Are you going to create and spread VR porn?” 

“Of course!”

… I think I’ve created a monster. A porn monster. One that will devour the lives of many as they fall into addiction and hedonism. I’d be a little more worried about this if I thought it was something that would occur anytime soon. As it is, I can probably put this in my “deal with it later” list. Like that army I hear is out there hunting monsters… I still have no idea what I’m going to do about that when they return.

In the meantime, I should take Greg home, and make sure someone is able to take care of him. He’s clearly having trouble processing everything he’s seen today.

…

Greg’s view

I… I’m home?

“Are you alright? You’ve been in a daze all day. This is the first time you’ve looked at me properly today.”

My lovely fiance, Nora was looking at me with concern. “Sorry, I… I saw strange things. It’s a lot to try and take in. I think I still need time.”

“I hope you get better soon. Eat some porridge and get some sleep. I’ll check in on you tomorrow morning, okay?”

“Yeah, thank you.”