11. Gutted
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My appetite came back about two days after Lily fed, which was more or less the same as my girlfriends' situation. And the three of us got back into our usual routine fairly easily, despite how much had changed and everything that happened over the winter break.

The last few days before classes resumed we were all fairly busy again. On the one hand we were catching up on our assignments and getting ready to head back to class, and on the other hand we were making arrangements and plans for Susan's house.

She spoke with Troy's dad and he came out to meet us and see the place on the last Friday of our break.

Mr. Goranov was a nice guy, he was a few inches taller than Troy and kept himself in pretty good shape despite being into his late forties or early fifties. He seemed to know his stuff too, and I didn't get any bad vibes from the guy. He knew we were friends of Troy's, and I got the sense that he was supportive of his son.

He didn't seem bothered by the fact that Sue and Melissa and I were a threesome or that we were all queer either, which was nice. And finally when we got to talking numbers and estimates, I got the feeling he was being fair and not trying to take advantage of us.

We spent a few hours at Sue's house that day with Mr. Goranov, he took all kinds of notes and measurements and stuff, and by the end of the day the three of us made the decision to go ahead with the home refurb / overhaul.

We had the money, thanks to Lily dipping into the accounts she seized from Verothilas, and with luck the three of us would be able to move back into Susan's place during the March break.

The next day we rented some storage space and a moving van, and packed up everything in the house Susan wanted to keep. Anything left behind would be thrown out when the place was gutted.

Back when I helped Melissa move out of her parents' place I was the weak one, but this time I got to show off my demonic strength. It was pretty cool and kind of funny. I was the smallest of the three of us, but I could single-handedly lift and carry stuff that Melissa and Susan had trouble moving together.

Still, neither of them complained and it meant we got the job done quickly and easily.

We also moved Sue's queen-sized bed over to our apartment, and my twin went into the storage unit. The bigger bed made my room feel a bit cramped, but the bed was way more comfortable with two or three of us in it. Sue and I could sleep together just fine, and all three of us could fit in it without anyone feeling squeezed.

On Monday Troy's dad got to work on the house. A big dumpster was left in the driveway, and over the next two weeks or so the interior would be completely stripped bare. Meanwhile Sue headed back to university while me and Melissa returned to college.

And that's where everything started going badly, in a big hurry.

I thought being part-demon would be really fun and cool, and it mostly was. I loved having my horns and my tail, even if I had to keep them invisible half the time. Being able to see in the dark was neat, but didn't actually make much of a difference in my life. And being stronger was nice, but I didn't hate being a weak girl. And it was convenient being able to pick up heavy things and open tight jars again.

What really started to hit me though, was that whole low-key mind-reading intuition thing.

It wasn't a problem when I was just finding out which contractors were trustworthy and which wanted to rip us off. And it didn't cause any problems at new years, getting a feel for how Sam and Troy would respond to learning about the demon and succubus stuff.

It wasn't even an issue just being out and doing stuff like getting groceries or whatever. It didn't seem to really come into effect unless I interacted with someone, like maybe if I ended up talking with the cashier at the grocery check-out or if I caught someone staring at me so I stared back.

But at college, in class, suddenly it was a whole different thing. And it wasn't good.

I did my best to ignore it, I tried to just focus on the assignments or my girlfriends or pretty much anything else, but it's like I couldn't escape it.

Now it was Wednesday evening and after just three days of classes my mood was at an all-time low.

Susan was out on business but Melissa was with me, and the two of us sat down on the sofa for dinner. We heated up some chicken nuggets and we both had vodka coolers. There was something on the TV but I wasn't paying attention to it.

I wasn't really eating either, by the time Melissa had polished off a half dozen nugs I'd eaten half of one and the rest of them were cold. My drink was all but untouched too.

My girlfriend took my plate and put it on the coffee table then wrapped an arm around me and asked "Mara what's wrong? Ever since we got back to class on Monday you've been getting quieter. I'm worried you're becoming depressed."

I sighed and leaned in against her, but instead of answering her question I asked "Back at xmas you told mom and Carol you could sort of read people? Like if they wanted sex, and what sort of stuff they liked?"

Melissa nodded slightly, "Yeah. I can't read you, if that's what you're worried about. And I never mentioned it before, because I didn't want you to get freaked out or upset or anything."

She added, "I've got better at it lately too, since we beat Verothilas? Like before it was just feelings and intuition, now I can get clearer images from people, more details..."

"Does that bother you, or upset you? Knowing that stuff about people?" I asked quietly. "Like, how do you deal with that?"

She sighed and seemed to think it over for a few moments, before she responded "At first, when it first started happening, I guess it did? It was in the summer, about a month before we started college. We'd be out somewhere, and I'd catch some guy looking at me, and suddenly I knew he wanted to bang me, and what he wanted to do to me."

After another sigh she added, "It was bad enough when it was like, cute guys, or guys our age. Getting that off creepy old grampa dudes and pimply teenage kids was even worse. And for a little while yeah, it bothered me."

I shuddered slightly but stayed quiet for now.

Melissa had a gulp of her drink then continued, "I figured out though, I realized those thoughts weren't really about me? Like none of those people knew me. They just saw me as an object, tits and ass, right? And the things they wanted to do, that wasn't *me* they were thinking of? It was their impression of me. It was some nameless girl they didn't know and didn't have to think about or care about. And once I understood that, it was like suddenly everything was better. Instead of that stuff upsetting or bothering me, it became kind of funny."

Her tone got brighter and she started smiling as she finished, "Like that stuff reflects on them, not me, right? Instead of being upset of what strangers thought of me, suddenly it's like I had an insight into how perverted everyone else is. And it's not all bad. Like some people have really sweet fantasies, or want to do really fun things. That's part of what I was telling you a month or so ago? Like I get to pick who I sleep with, and I know up front who'll be more fun."

With a naughty grin she added, "I've even learned some things too, like some people have way kinkier imaginations than I ever did."

That all sounded ok, and it definitely made me feel better about her and Susan having that sixth sense or whatever. I had a sip of my cooler then said, "I'm glad you got a handle on that stuff Melissa. How do you deal with it though, when it's not strangers? Like when it's people you know, or have to see all the time?"

Melissa replied, "It's still their fantasies, it's still on them not me. And I understand that there's a huge difference between the random thoughts and daydreams we all have, and what we actually do in reality. Like I won't name names, but someone I know thinks about burying their face in my tits every now and then? Except they'd never actually do that, because it's not a thing they'd really do. It's just a random thought that pops up for them. It's not a real reflection on them or me."

After another gulp of her cooler she asked, "What's brought this on? And why's it got you so down, Mara?"

I sighed and admitted, "I've started getting something like that. I first noticed it at new years. I kind of read Sam and Troy, all that stuff about how they'd react to us telling them the truth? Lily didn't tell me that, I got it directly from them. It's not like reading their mind or hearing their thoughts, but it's like an intuition or something? Same with the creepy contractor. And Troy's dad, I could tell he was ok and I knew he wasn't trying to cheat us."

Melissa's eyebrows crept up as I talked, then she asked "So you're getting this off everyone now?"

"Almost everyone," I replied. "Not you or Sue, and not Lily. But anyone I'm with for a few minutes, like people I interact with? And the last three days at class and stuff..."

I shuddered and sighed, "It's one thing to joke about half the class hating me. It's less funny finding out I'm right. And even worse finding out what the profs really think of me."

She pulled me closer into a hug, "Mara I'm sorry. Have you talked with Lily about this?"

"Not really," I replied quietly. "We talked briefly on new years, when I first noticed it. But like, she can read people's minds just by looking at them. This isn't like that, but it still tells me what people think of me. And..."

I gulped and whispered, "I'm terrified of what'll happen next time we visit my mom. I don't want to find out she secretly hates me or something. Or that she thinks I'm a monster. Or an idiot."

"Your mom doesn't hate you," Melissa stated firmly. "You know that Mara, she loves you."

"That doesn't mean she isn't disappointed in me," I half-whispered. "And she's not happy about me being part-demon. And I don't know what she thinks of you and me and Susan being together. And I don't want to know."

It really was like my biggest nightmare. The stuff I said to Lily that night, about how reading minds can ruin friendships and relationships and drive people crazy, it all felt like it was coming true. And I couldn't even read people's minds, I was just getting those intuition things.

Melissa sighed, "Ok but like I was just saying Mara? Everyone has random thoughts and imagination and stuff. And the profs and folks in class, they don't really know you. They just know the side of you they see when you're there. So whatever they're thinking, it isn't about the real you. It's on them, it's the version of you they have in their heads. It's not real, not really you."

I shook my head, "Except it is real. Like Professor Mills? I really like his class, I thought he liked me? But he thinks I'm a screw-up and he's convinced I'm going to flunk or drop out before the end of the second semester. And Professor Palmer, I thought he was laid-back but he actually hates me..."

She held me a little closer, "No Mara, it's not real. It's their impression of you, but that's not the real you. And whether Palmer hates you or not, I haven't seen him treat you any worse than he does me or any other student. As long as he treats you fairly and keeps his opinions out of it, it doesn't matter what he thinks. And Mills is wrong, you're not a screw-up and you're not going to flunk or drop out."

"But I really am a screw-up," I whispered. "I won't drop out, but I might flunk. You know I'm nowhere near as smart as you, I just barely scrape by."

Melissa shook her head, "All your grades measure is how good you are at doing school-work. They don't define you. They don't even really tell how well you'll do outside of school."

After pausing to give me a kiss she went on, "You're a kind, loving, compassionate person Mara. You're a wonderful friend who cares deeply about her friends and family. But for now, until you really understand and believe that about yourself, maybe you can talk to Lily, ask her to help you block this ability when it gets you down?"

I kissed her back and sighed, "Thanks Melissa. And I'll try talking to Lily again about it."

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