Prologue
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
. . . .
wait, why am I screaming? I open my eyes and see an office worker entirely in blue seated behind a desk. Blink. . . entirely various shades of blue including his head, 2 horns and all four hands, two of which are covering his ears.
He lowers his hands and asks "Are you done? Then we can get started." Now he picks up a tablet with one hand, focusing on it to read, while working the mouse and typing. "Good karma, decent morals, a driven oathkeeper, analytical mind. Hmmm, we have an opening for a Hero in Universe 6k2Ω5e‼r☺J3d▲▒2ßü♣♫kæ6sÿΦ's world h6Ü18rÇ9d..."
I cut him off "no hero stuff, not cut out for it." 'Also how did you pronounce that?'
'And as for morals, you must have a low standard. My first rule is the golden one; do to others as you want them do to you. But my second rule is 'eye for an eye', just haven't had much need for it.'
"That's fine then, what else is there for you? . . . we could transfer you to a newly vacated Duke's kid."
"And I'd spend the rest of my life - their life - pretending to be someone I'm not. Or worse, get my soul tossed in a blender with theirs. No thanks."
"How about a transfer then? It's quite popular this eon."
"Can't I just get reincarnated?"
'Well that's no fun, how can I mess this prick up? Oh, I can set him to animal. That'll be a blast. But it needs me to give him a Special before I can finish this up. Heh, didn't say anything about telling him. I'll go with [Permeable Barrier], that sounds really silly. Who can use a Barrier that can be bypassed?' "Alright then. Just a few last things first though, do you want to remember your past life this time?"
"Yes, except for how it ended. Having screamed that much sounds like something bad might have happened."
"And what type of world to go to"
"Cultivation, if that's a thing."
His mouth twitched a little, like he was fighting against smiling. "It sure is, now we're all set. Just go through the door on your left." 'He'll probably spend his whole life as the loyal pet to an actual cultivator, and he LITERALLY asked for it! Fwohohohohoho!'
Damn, they employ some serious trolls in Heaven or whatever, that guy must be too bored
6k2Ω5e‼r☺J3d▲▒2ßü♣♫kæ6sÿΦ's world h6Ü18rÇ9
Please replace the emoji at least, or I, the eldritch God in disguise will yeet you into the void
Seriously though, emoji in stories are pretty off turning
Well I you wanted realistic you would probably get some base64 encoded binary data or something similar... that would look boring though...
maybe a physical expression is apart of there language as its so complex it includes not only vocal but specific facial language like sign language but with faces as a 4th dimensional being has to speak the myriad infinity of knowledge they know from a multitude of worlds and cultures so an incoherent mash/eldritch combination of many languages makes sense. random ramblings you did not want.
I love this management guy, lmfao.
Very accurate how internet employees act, they enroll you in services you don't know exist but since eyou didn't say you don't want them it means you do, by their logic lol
Thank you for this chapter!