I would still have to look at the skills that I could possibly merge now, but I was pretty curious about the skill that would give evolution points. It seemed the blessing had meant the second option that was now present as a next evolution choice.

I stared at the blue square before me for a long time, and I noticed Cellestra watching me. She didn’t say a word. All she did was smile slightly as she shifted into a more comfortable sitting position next to me.

I was reminded that I should try to get home a bit earlier today as I was still planning to help her out with my spells. She hadn’t asked, but I could see she was anxious to learn more.

It was a bit harder to do it in our spare time, now that I couldn’t get inside her house anymore. We would have to do it outside while it was still light out.

I still stared at the evolution options and tried to process what each of them meant. Initially, before I knew what the options were, I’d been interested in the option that would give evolution points because I felt I was lacking them. If I looked at how things were going right now, though, I didn’t feel like I was lacking them as much anymore. I still had two evolutions to go, and it didn’t seem like the spell ranks would increase further. Thus, the value of that evolution had declined steadily.

However, this was something completely different from what I had expected. This evolution would also allow me to learn new skills, increasing my strength, even after reaching the final evolution.

It was far more interesting than I’d expected.

The other options looked incredibly strong too, though. I was currently staring at the first option, trying to figure out exactly how it worked.

Dominion?

Did this evolution revolve around controlling other creatures’ actions?

While it looked incredibly strong (I assumed it could be used on sapient creatures too) I had no intention of doing anything like that. Everything about this evolution went against my principles. I did not want to control other creatures’ actions. Strong as it may be, I would never forgive myself for choosing this.

The third option…

Spiderlings? As in… mine?

An army of minions that could grow ever stronger would be incredibly powerful, but I would run into much of the same issues. I didn’t recall myself thinking about whether I’d be able to reproduce in my current form… well, there was that one spider that had tried to court me… but I just wasn’t interested in finding out about it. The thought of breeding spiders was just…

Disturbing.

While the ability to hatch and command a small army of powerful spiders would, without a doubt, be incredibly powerful, the very idea of it creeped me out too much to even consider it.

It simply meant that I was left with one option.

I would have to continue killing, and even eating creatures in order to get evolution points and the new skills. It wasn’t quite what I had hoped for, but…

I would have to eat, either way, right?

I was currently starving, and there was no way I would be able to get myself properly fed without killing other creatures. If that was the case, it would at least mean that I killed with purpose. I had no objections to that. If anything, it made me feel somewhat comfortable, knowing that what I killed wasn’t just going to be left alone, seemingly killed for nothing but sport.

“Tough choices?” Cellestra asked all of a sudden.

I had to think for a moment before I started spelling out what was going on.

“Not tough. Was more of moral choice than anything else. Had to reflect.”

“Moral? Please explain?” Cellestra said as she cocked her head after she observed me spell.

“Next evolution is three choices. Two choices went against my morals. Last choice will still have me kill creatures after final evolution. Will need to eat them to grow stronger.”

“But that’s fine?” Cellestra replied with a question. “I mean… you’ve got to eat, right?”

“That is what I thought, too.”

“Heh,” The elf chuckled. “Getting stronger by eating. I wonder what Elysa was thinking when she made that… I assume she made that part of your blessing, or whatever. It truly makes me wonder…”

I didn’t know either. I didn’t know if the goddess had anything planned for me in particular, or how much she would be able to in the first place. This whole blessing thing… it was a tool. It made me powerful, but in the end, it felt shallow.

Elysa, what have you planned for me?

My mind was about to wander off to what my future would hold, but I quickly stopped it from overwhelming me. I had to take care of other things. My virtues compelled me to make sure no innocents would be killed in a few days’ time.

I had today, and then four more days before I would set out to scout the area where I’d seen the humans. I didn’t have any time to lose.

“Do not know,” I finally replied to Cellestra.

“I truly feel for you, you know?” She said. “The uncertainty and the gloomy outlook of your new life…” She shook her head. “I hope that speech ability will finally make you feel a bit more of your old self.”

Her words hurt, but at the same time, filled me with warmth as I felt the compassion in her tone. It felt heartwarming to have someone talk to me in such a manner.

I let her words resonate in my mind while I asked my blessing to merge the skills that I could merge, one by one.

There was no pain when things seemed to change within my body. Rather, there was a pleasant warm feeling that I could get used to.

Minutes passed by as I felt skill after skill being combined with other skills, creating stronger versions of already existing skills. At the end of it all, I asked Elysa to show me a clear overview of what had changed.

Besides the second skill offering an addition, and the first one to form a more powerful skill, I wasn’t sure about the last one.

I checked my skill list, and had to ascertain that the least it did was shrink my list by a few items. That wasn’t so bad, I guessed.

I sighed mentally as I knew the time had come to head out again.

Why was my new life filled by a seemingly perpetual struggle between wanting to stay somewhere and being forced to kill in order to be able to stay somewhere in the first place?

I tapped Cellestra’s lap and spelled out more words. “Have to head out now. Hope to be back before evening. Still need to practice new spell.”

“You’re going to the dungeon, right?”

I nodded.

“Just be careful. I’ve read that nasty things tend to happen inside dungeons.”

I nodded again, smiling in my mind at her concern. “Will be fine.”

I still had to go through the achievements I needed, but the truth was that I was ravenous. I really needed to eat something, or I’d go crazy. I would hunt something first, and then look over my achievements while I was eating.

I wondered what I should hunt. Would raw deer taste good?

Cellestra stood up and I waved at her as I headed off in the direction of the dungeon. I saw her wave back and left her behind with pain in my heart.

These feelings just didn’t seem to go away…

Somehow, I was left thinking about how I would sound once I got a voice to speak. I hoped it would not be some gutter speak kind of voice. I felt like it was important to have a voice that Cellestra would like…

I emptied my mind and kept my eyes wide open (not that I could do otherwise) as I made my way towards the dungeon. This thermal vision was convenient, especially when hunting. The problem was that there wasn’t anything of real value in the area. Squirrels and rabbits were simply too small to fill my stomach. I would have to slaughter dozens of them, and that just wasn’t my style.

I would settle for a deer, or even a boar.

My legs felt much more powerful now with the new enhancement and skill merge. It served to add to my speed. I doubted there were many things in or outside of the forest that could even keep up when I ran at my top speed.

Thanks to my thermal vision, I soon spotted a deer behind nearby vegetation. I would have easily missed it if not for that skill. The deer in question had apparently spotted me too, which truly wasn’t hard anymore.

It started running away.

I gave chase.