I feel like I should backtrack. In honesty, I didn't want to tell what happened in the interim, before I found myself on the floor, partially out of fear, mostly out of shame.

Things often happen suddenly. After some time had passed since the conversation with Tim, and just a few days before I knelt on the floor to perform another ritual, I was meeting up with Scruff to feed him. Scruff was a stray dog - nobody knew where he came from and whether he ever had an owner. I don't know if anyone else cared for him, but I knew that I couldn't keep him as a pet - tenants' rules wouldn't allow it, and Suzanne, my landlady, would certainly have used me taking him in as a reason to evict.

Scruff would be there, every other day or so, waiting in the shade of the hedges surrounding the apartment complex. I would always bring my leftovers, and he'd devour them as soon as I dropped them in front of him. I couldn't tell whether he was genuinely thankful or just extremely hungry, but I felt some sort of calm, maybe happiness, seeing him waggle his tail every time he saw me approaching. Now, more than ever, I felt like I needed that moment of peace in my life. It wouldn't be long before the silk touch of the demon beckoned me towards her yet again.

Ever since Tim ran off and wouldn't call I felt something was very weird. The demon's visits would become more frequent. She took a liking to suddenly touching me through clothes as I tried going through my day, an increasingly persistent reminder of her presence. It bothered me I didn't know more about succubi, but I couldn't manage to focus on finding any information. In fact, the short moments when I could focus and try to think about what was happening were the moments when I became increasingly suspicious, and the demon's presence seemed more threatening.

But those were just brief pauses in the overall spell I was under. Even though I eventually decided I would be cautious, I found no way to act like it. My mind was going places, my muscles were half-asleep, and every time I sat down to actually get to it, I would start fantasizing about my succubus. It took all of my willpower that one time to push all the fantasies of her flesh I had to the back of my consciousness and finally get to it.

In front of my eyes was yet another website dealing with mythology. This one seemed to be written in a more encyclopedic manner. I recognized everything about the succubus from the description, and also realized after reading the paragraph about symptoms of possession how much I felt under her influence, for longer and longer periods of time. I could feel the hair on my forearms standing up, as everything I read checked out: the steadily decreasing amount of life energy, the increased anger, jittery behavior, the ultimate inability of victims to resist.

"Let's do something right now," I heard a voice, as soft and alluring as ever, speaking right into my ear. I froze mid-swipe, but then, deciding to ignore it, continued. The voice came back, "You had a bad day, don't you think you deserve a rest?"
"I don-" I paused mid-sentence as I realized I didn't want to acknowledge her. But it already felt too late.
"Hmm?" a delicate touch ran up along my arm. "Come on, don't tell me you're already getting bored of me?"

My mind was drifting off again. I could sense her next to me.

"Talk to me... Please..." the voice was as sweet and innocent as I could imagine any voice to be.
"I'm... I'm just learning more about succubi..." I said, trying to not lose my concentration.
"Is that so?"
"I just wanna know..."

As I struggled to concentrate, I felt a dainty, gentle hand move around my body and finally land on my crotch. Soft pads of slender fingers touched me through my pants in a way that made my head feel like I was spinning. Something rubbed onto my leg, around my knee, something warm and soft.

"Succubi appeal to their hosts desires, knowing their deepest sexual perversions," the text read.

I heard a slightly excited breathing in my right ear. I felt like a caricature of a dork wanting to read at such a moment. My erection was getting out of control as well. I urged myself to read a bit more.

"I want it... I want you..." I heard her beg into my ear. "I can't take it anymore, please... Matthew..."

The way she said my name made me dizzy. My eyes were getting de-focused. There was definitely a wet, sticky stain on my leg.

"Just give me a second, please."

The rubbing grew more restless.

"I need it noooow..."

With Herculean effort, I managed to scan the next sentence.

"The possession eventually depletes the victim's energy, resulting, in most versions of the myth, in death."

My brain froze for a moment. The world slowed down. All of my senses were in conflict with my conscience. I tried blinking a few times, but the words didn't change. I didn't know how I should have felt, but I felt betrayed. The succubus must have felt my change of emotions as she stopped.

"Are you... Are you going to..." I turned my head and noticed the face of the demoness right in front of mine. Her flawless skin had a drop of sweat sliding down from her forehead as she leered at me with desire in her eyes. Her mouth was open slightly in excitement. I finally managed to finish my question, "... Kill me?"
"...Huh?" the succubus raised her voice and jerked away slightly.
"You're..." I felt dizzy from her touch and also very awkward now that I blurted it out. I could feel her eyes scanning me. It was as if I was back in high school being stared down by the class beauty. But I had to make sure I was getting this correct. "You're a succubus, right?"
"I'm yours..." she answered with a worried face. "Is that not good enough?"
"But... I wanted to know more about you... And..." I pointed at the screen, "It says you're going to kill me!"

For the first time, I saw the succubus recoil away from me. She pulled back, just like I'd expect a woman with her looks to pull back if she found herself on my lap and I expressed my interest in her.

"You wanted to know about succubi and..." the sight of worry and upset on her face was starting to weigh down on me. Her eyes were wide open. "... you didn't think to ask me?!"

She stopped touching me and, when I tried to reach to touch her, pushed me away instead. I was stunned.

"Wait... I..." I was at a loss. Did I read it wrong? Were these people wrong?

Then I saw it. For the first time, there were tears swirling in her eyes as she furrowed her brows. Before they started rolling down her cheeks, the succubus turned around, smacking me with her wings. She sat down on the floor, turned away from me, pulled her legs towards herself and started sobbing.

Nothing was as I expected. The sudden feeling of guilt was overwhelming. I opened my mouth but no words came to mind.

"I thought..." she sobbed. "I tought I finally found one... One mortal who understood me... Who," she paused and sniffled. "Who..."
"I..." I didn't know what to say or do. I could swear the ground was sliding from under me.
"Who actually liked me," she said with a whimper and started sobbing again, louder.
"I do... I do like you, I just-" I tried to apologize and put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She recoiled almost immediately.
"Liar!" she sobbed again, and shielded herself with her wings. "You're just like the rest of them..."

There was a pain, I felt it deep in my chest. I had it all. I finally had what I wanted. I finally had all I could wish for and I fucked it up in a concerto-like fashion.

"Please, just listen," I begged, but the demoness started sobbing louder. "I was... I didn't know what to think, I was scared, I've never had any experience with... w-... with women," I felt myself getting red in the face, "I didn't know what to do and I panicked and-"
"Stop, please stooopp...!" the succubus curled up even more and started crying out loud, her wings trembling.

I figured I shouldn't go for another pat on the back, but I also couldn't figure out what to do. Do succubi even get upset? Apparently. I cursed myself for not reading more before asking that stupid question. I kept on cussing at myself, as the reality of the situation unfolded.

The demoness took a few breaths between the cries and seemed to calm down. I waited a bit longer, but she didn't turn around to face me. Her tail, usually wagging happily, laid limp on the floor. Her wings were folded over her. The squeezing pain in my chest was making it difficult to breathe. I felt like I was about to jump out of the window if this went on.

"Can we... Talk... Please?"
"I need to go," she replied. Her voice sounded tired from crying, and the way she said it was very curt.
"No, please, I'm sorry-"

She got up off the floor and kept facing away from me. After a moment of standing in silence, she started pacing towards the exit of the bedroom.

"Wait, just let me... I can..." I couldn't really think of anything to say.
"So long, Matthew," she said, and the hint of sorrow in her voice pierced through me.
"I'm sorry!" I yelled, about to be in tears myself.
"Me too," she responded emotionlessly and walked out. I sprang up and tried walking up to her, but the moment I was within an arm's reach, she disappeared, right in front of my eyes. My reaching hand swept through the air as I stumbled and almost fell.

I was alone again.